Help. That's what I need, I really need help. At this point, I am completely fed up.
I graduated from school last year. While I was in school, my parents especially my father controlled my relationship with other people and made sure I had no friends in school to 'distract' me. Well, since they didn't stay in school with me, I made some good friends and well, just never spoke to anyone when I was home on holiday. Now I have finished school, I have nowhere to hide, I don't even talk to my friends from school again. I am lonely, really lonely. If someone as much as says hi to me, they become bad people. For my NYSC, my dad paid a really huge sum to make sure I served in Lagos, then he made sure I got posted to his workplace for my PPA. I didn't say anything, just let him have his way. I made three really good friends in camp, they were really good and easy going people but my dad decided that they were ritualists and only wanted to lure me out to cut my breasts and my private parts and use me for rituals or prostitution or even kidnap me. So I didn't talk to them again because I just wanted peace. Till now they still try to call and text me to check up on me. Now that I'm working in his office, I can't even talk to anybody, because apparently they are all bad people. We had an hangout planned and my dad made fun of me and refused to give me permission to go at my age of 21! I'm honestly fed up and I don't know what to do anymore. This is really affecting my mental health and my social life.

You’re still very young and precious, your dad knows best, the world is filled with evil but he should allow you make your own choice after all you’re a grown up.

Talk to your mom to plead on your behalf.

What is your mother's take on this?

The world is really scary but they should cut you some slack. But what they are doing is out of love for their precious daughter

tommy589:
The world is really scary but they should cut you some slack. But what they are doing is out of love for their precious daughter

It is NOT LOVE but maladaptive parenting where they know no boundary and their obsessive behaviour is ruining their daughter's personhood...if their daughter ever gets married, they would ruin that marriage "out of love".

You see you this Gz children. At 21 what is itching you to be free. That thing your parents are trying to prevent and you're pushing them off, I pray it doesn't happen to you. Just thank God for he kind of parents you have.

At 21 why do you choose places your parents disapprove of if no be bad thing dey your eyes. Did you organize a crusade with your fellow youth in church and your parents said you shouldn't go?
Did you organize a workshop to train the youths and teenagers around you and they stopped you? But na that hidden one that will put your life in danger you're itching to go for and your parents are wise enough to detect it the danger ahead.

Let me tell you, at your age you're not experienced and only your parents and people who have seen life will advise and guide you aright. The people that are shinning teeth with you can get to that party and turn to vampires cos you don't know anyones mind you only know your own and you'll be following them thinking they have the same heart as you. The heart of Man is desperately wicked who can know it.

An innocent lady followed her friends to a hang out that posed like a birthday party. The cake was served and After eating the cake she didn't know where was. That was how all the bad boys at that party took turns on her and she became pregnant. Her friends were trying to save her but the bad boys that joined them were stronger and overpowered them. Now your friends may not be the only ones that will attend the party at the end of the day. So kerp your itching bumbum in one place and let your parents do their thing. A time Will come they will free you after their are satisfied with their work on you. For now your actions tell them you're not ready to face the real world so calm down..when I wanted to Leave the family house @ 26, with his blessings my once very overprotective and strict father let me go cos he was confident I wasn't going to mess up with the training he has given us. You're 21 and already itching to fly. You go just crash. Make una dey calm down. Una too dey rush life. Haba!

Please extend my handshake to your parents for a job well done. Exactly my parenting style is what they are using for you.

My 2 cents

Mindlog:


It is NOT LOVE but maladaptive parenting where they know no boundary and their obsessive behaviour is ruining their daughter's personhood...if their daughter ever gets married, they would ruin that marriage "out of love".

The way they exhibit their love by controlling an adult is the issue. All their doings is still borne out of love. But are they aware they are obsessive?

tommy589:


The way they exhibit their love by controlling an adult is the issue. All their doings is still borne out of love. But are they aware they are obsessive?

Not borne out of love but what their distorted minds interprets to be love while suffocating their daughter.

Psychology of parenting, one of the courses I did in my undergrad, really stretched my mind and views about putting into consideration the mental status of parents when exploring family dynamics.

Listen to your parents please. I believe they want the best for you. The world is cruel dear sis. Responsible men are hard to come by. Please thread carefully

Ask your dad with a serious face if he wants to marry you.

0lubuk0l4:
Help. That's what I need, I really need help. At this point, I am completely fed up.
I graduated from school last year. While I was in school, my parents especially my father controlled my relationship with other people and made sure I had no friends in school to 'distract' me. Well, since they didn't stay in school with me, I made some good friends and well, just never spoke to anyone when I was home on holiday. Now I have finished school, I have nowhere to hide, I don't even talk to my friends from school again. I am lonely, really lonely. If someone as much as says hi to me, they become bad people. For my NYSC, my dad paid a really huge sum to make sure I served in Lagos, then he made sure I got posted to his workplace for my PPA. I didn't say anything, just let him have his way. I made three really good friends in camp, they were really good and easy going people but my dad decided that they were ritualists and only wanted to lure me out to cut my breasts and my private parts and use me for rituals or prostitution or even kidnap me. So I didn't talk to them again because I just wanted peace. Till now they still try to call and text me to check up on me. Now that I'm working in his office, I can't even talk to anybody, because apparently they are all bad people. We had an hangout planned and my dad made fun of me and refused to give me permission to go at my age of 21! I'm honestly fed up and I don't know what to do anymore. This is really affecting my mental health and my social life.

Wait, what stops you from chatting with your friends at least it shouldn't really be regular calls

Secondly, you have to find a way of relating with them because your dad won't marry you

Thirdly respect them but seat them down and let them know how you feel about them caging you

Because when it will be too late they will deny that they weren't the one that brought this upon you

You can still go for your masters and use that opportunity to wise up

Mental health loool.


This proverb came to my mind.

A NGBA OROMO ADIE LOWO IKU,O NI AO JEKI ON LO ATAN LO JE



21years, woo you better listen to them. It's harsh out there, continue doing your job, go to places they approve. Shikena.

If it's because of meeting husband you are worried which I think it's not don't worry, you will meet. You don't need to date the whole world to marry, you just need one quality man.

This one na Omo get inside