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|5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Kobojunkie: 10:43am On Dec 30, 2011|
[size=14pt]Five things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts[/size]
First off, there are those who are reading this who might not know which camp they fall into, the extrovert or the introvert. Chances are, the majority of those reading this will know, but for those who don’t, let’s define those two terms here very broadly.
Extroverts tend to be those who are more energized when around other people. They are the ones who will reach for the cell phone when alone for more than a minute, the ones who love to go out every weekend, the ones who love to chit chat, mingle, and socialize.
Introverts tend to be those who are more energized when alone with themselves. They are the ones who have to be dragged to parties, who are the first ones ready to leave after a short period of time, and who generally enjoy solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.
The qualities and characteristics of introverts are often held in a negative light in today’s world, so it’s only natural that the majority of people seem to think that there’s something wrong with them. The reason why the majority of people think that there’s something wrong with introverts is because the majority of people aren’t very knowledgeable when it comes to introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.
Many people tend to hold several potentially damaging misconceptions about introverts, but through no fault of their own.
I’ve been on both sides of the extrovert/introvert fence, and I can understand why extroverts tend to view introverts in a negative light, socially speaking, so I thought it would be best to write an article dedicated to helping extroverts understand their often very misunderstood introvert counterparts.
My hope is this article will help solve that problem by shedding some light as to why introverts are the way they are and do the things they do, so here are 5 things every extrovert should know about introverts.
[size=13pt]1. If a person is introverted, it does NOT mean they are shy or anti-social.[/size]
This is probably THE biggest misconception that extroverts tend to have when it comes to introverts.
And you can’t really blame them for having that kind of misconception.
Extroverts tend to have to drag introverts to parties, to convince them to go and sell them on attending social engagements. When introverts politely decline, extroverts automatically assume that something might be wrong so they always ask if everything’s all right and of course, everything is all right. It’s just a common misunderstanding. When extroverts see a pattern like this developing, they automatically assume that introverts are shy or anti-social as that can be the only logical explanation to them. What’s more, when extroverts try to engage introverts in small talk, it seems like they hit a brick wall.
Add to that, most extroverts see that introverts tend to be fond of engaging in solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.
Well, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck right?
Introverts have more brain activity in their frontal lobes and when these areas are activated through solitary activity, introverts become energized through processes such as problem solving, introspection, and complex thinking.
Extroverts on the other hand tend to have more activity in the back of their brain, areas that deal with processing sensory information from the external world, so they tend to search for external stimuli in the form of interacting with other people and the outside world to energize them.
There’s a deeper science to this that involves differences in the levels of brain chemicals such as acetylcholine and dopamine in extroverts and introverts, but I won’t get into that.
The bottom line is that introverts are just wired differently than extroverts. There’s nothing “wrong” with them. They just become energized through different processes depending on where the majority of their brain activity takes place.
Granted there are introverts who may be shy and anti-social, but that’s just a coincidence that perpetuates the myth that ALL introverts are like that. You’ll find that all introverts are fine just the way they are until people begin to subtly suggest otherwise.
[size=13pt]2. Introverts tend to dislike small talk.[/size]
If you really want to engage an introvert in conversation, skip the small talk. Introverts tend to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met.
This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that extroverts have of introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant.Why? Because extroverts notice that introverts don’t talk that much with other people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they’re too good to talk to others, hence arrogant and that’s hardly the case. It’s just a matter of preference.
Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it. There’s nothing wrong with either choice, it’s just a matter of preference. This brings us to the third point.
[size=13pt]3. Introverts do like to socialize – only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts.[/size]
Yes, it’s true. Contrary to the majority of public opinion, introverts do like to socialize, but again, only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts.
Introverts love anything that involves deep conversation. They get energized by discussing subjects that are important to them and they love see what and how other people think, to connect the dots, to dig deep, to find root causes, to use logical thinking via debate in conversation, etc.
And what’s more, introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally good at - give great speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party, charm the socks off of total strangers - but only for a short period of time. After that, they need time for themselves which brings us to the fourth point.
[size=13pt]4. Introverts need time alone to recharge.[/size]
Extroverts tend to think introverts have something against them as they constantly seem to refuse generous invites to social engagements. Introverts do appreciate the offers, but it’s just that they know it will take a lot of energy out of them if they pursue these social functions.
They need time alone like they need food and water. Give them their space. There’s nothing wrong with them. They’re not depressed and they’re not sad. They just need time alone to recharge their batteries.
[size=13pt]5. Introverts are socially well adjusted.[/size]
Most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and mannerisms when it comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don’t choose to socialize as much as extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to assume that introverts are not socially well adjusted, as they have not seen much evidence of them interacting with other people. This just exacerbates previous misconceptions and gives way to labeling introverts as nerds, geeks, loners, etc.
It’s easy to understand why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings have lived in a tribal society so having to interact frequently with people came to be a regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival. But because of this high value placed on extroversion, introverts tend to feel trapped and find themselves in a catch 22 situation.
Do introverts stay true to who they are and risk social alienation and isolation or do introverts conform and join the extroverted side, pretending to be somebody they’re not just to fit in? This is precisely why I wrote this article, because if the extroverts can become more educated about introverts, introverts will be able to feel free to stay true to who they are, and that’s a good thing from society’s point of view. Trying to “turn” an introverted person into an extroverted person is detrimental because it gives off a subtle suggestion that there is something wrong with them, hampering their self worth and esteem when there is absolutely nothing wrong in the first place.
There’s nothing wrong with introverts. In fact, introverts are the leading pioneers of advancements in human civilization. Albert Einstein, Issac Newton, Charles Darwin are a few introverts that come to mind, just to name a few. And for those of you not interested in science, but pop culture, you’ll be surprised to see a lot of well known names in Hollywood are introverts as well. Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg, Christian Bale to name a few as well.
And for those interested in sports, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods come to mind as athletes who are introverts as well.
Introverts have a lot to bring to the table. They have an amazing ability to discover new thoughts, an uncanny ability to focus, to concentrate, to connect the dots, to observe and note things that most people miss, to listen extremely well and are often found having a rich and vivid imagination too.
The more extroverts become knowledgeable about introverts, the less tension and misunderstanding there will be among the two.
So if you’re an introvert reading this, send a copy of this article to all your extrovert friends so they can get a better idea of what you’re all about.
It’s time to finally clear the air.
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|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Kobojunkie: 10:52am On Dec 30, 2011|
[size=14pt]The Description of an Introvert Personality Type[/size]
Coined by famous psychiatrist Carl Jung, the terms "introversion" and "extraversion" refer to the attitudes people use to direct their energy. While all people have the ability to be introverted or extroverted, each has a natural inclination toward one more than the other. About 25 percent of people are estimated to have an introverted personality type. In a society where extroversion is prized, introverts are often labeled shy, loners or depressed. However, introverts simply have a different way of internalizing the world.
[size=13pt]Value Private Time[/size]
An introvert's main focus is within his head, preferring the internal world of ideas and concepts, whereas an extrovert prefers the external world of people and activities. An introvert is often territorial and protective of his private space and time. This personality type also is protective of his private thoughts and very selective when it comes to sharing these thoughts with others. He is often happy to be alone and can feel lonely in a crowd. As introverts re-energize from within, he can feel drained when around large groups of people and, accordingly, may dislike attending large gatherings. He also may require private time to recharge after attending such events.
[size=13pt]A Few Select Friendships and Activities[/size]
Introverts often are not the type to take on many activities. Instead, this personality type is more likely to carefully select a few interests and explore each deeply. Likewise, introverts form few attachments; however, those formed are deep. This type prefers a few deep friendships to several casual acquaintances and will typically prefer doing activities with a few close acquaintances rather than a large group.
[size=13pt]Preference for Solo Situations[/size]
Introverts also may come across as reserved or quiet and reluctant to meet new people. However, introverts are not necessarily shy but instead prefer personal and one-on-one communication. Additionally, introverts often prefer to avoid group activities. Instead, this type prefers solo to group work and does not enjoy being the center of attention.
[size=13pt]Require Time to Think[/size]
Introverts also place great importance on thought and reflection. The introvert requires time for concentration and deep thought and can easily become absorbed in her personal thoughts and ideas. She also can become irritated if she does not have adequate alone time. This personality type prefers to think before speaking and may even rehearse a dialogue in her head before actually engaging. An introvert spends so much time thinking that she may frequently be too slow to act or may neglect to confirm that her inner thoughts match the outer reality.
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|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by maclatunji: 1:36pm On Dec 30, 2011|
As a true Introvert, I endorse Kobojunkie's post.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Nobody: 3:08pm On Dec 30, 2011|
Everything here is correct. Confirmed introvert here.
Showing my sisters this article. . .because they always stay till the end of every party while I fume in my seat.
I see socializing as an obligation, one of the necessities I'd rather do without. And God knows I cherish my private time.
When I was staying at the dorm, my hall mates did not know I was living there until late in the semester. I was branded anti social. They were like 'oh my goodness you stay on this floor?' My roommate packed out early in the semester, till date I don't know if it was because of me or she didn't like the room. And I thought we were doing fine all along with our hi and hello every morning. My sisters still think she ran away from me.
If I am going to a party, I'd rather go out with extroverts though. Just for the attention to be on them. And they are easy to get rid off afterwards.
I'd rather have an introvert as a roommate. Why? Not so easy to get an extrovert to keep quiet.
For a husband, an introvert pleaseeeee.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by iice(f): 3:24pm On Dec 30, 2011|
Hmmm i'm an introvert but a weird one.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by ifyalways(f): 3:53pm On Dec 30, 2011|
Can one be on the fence,sit comfortably between the 2 worlds?that's how I see myself.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by maclatunji: 5:04pm On Dec 30, 2011|
Introducing her Icy Weirdness
You are confused, okay maybe you are not!
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Kobojunkie: 7:12pm On Dec 30, 2011|
Of course there are in betweens. The point is that it is NORMAL , not wrong or right, to be on either side or in between. Society has a way of deciding that one trait is the right one while the other is wrong and we introverts, especially those who grew up in Nigeria, had to deal with a lot of this. I was made to believe that I was wrong and needed to be fixed/correct/changed. That definitely affected me my image of self and led me to withdraw even more. But as soon as I escaped that old life -- found myself, I realized it is OK to want to sit in your room , all by yourself for weeks. As long as you are happy, it is all good. Now if you want to party 24/7 and you can, it is also all good.
I found the article and felt I needed to share it with as many people as possible as I am all too aware of how ignorance can cause people to misjudge you for simply wanting to be the person you are designed to be.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by tpia5: 8:13pm On Dec 30, 2011|
Most introverts are extroverted when they want to be.
Its not really that they're introverted 100% of the time.
Just that they're more particular who they choose to be free around and yes, they're also thinkers who need their alone time the same way extroverts need to be around others.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Kobojunkie: 8:18pm On Dec 30, 2011|
[size=14pt]Being Introverted Or Extroverted[/size]
Before going into my current vocation, I took a battery of personality tests and psychological stability inventories. They were administered by a clinical psychologist (I am not one). What I'm going to share is what he told me, and although it probably doesn't line up with textbook definitions & such, he thought it a helpful way for laymen to get a handle on the whole introverted-extroverted thing.
Everybody is one or the other. You can't be neither, nor can you be perfectly balanced between the two. From a very early age (maybe from birth) it is hardwired into your brain.
People tend to imagine or generalize that which one you are depends on how much you like people, or at least like being with people. Hence, the popular perception that extroverts are outgoing, gregarious, and fun, while introverts are supposedly withdrawn and too inward-looking to be fun or good friends. This is totally wrong! Introverts can like people, love their friends, be outgoing and be a blast to be around.
Which one you are is easily discovered by asking yourself this simple question: Do I gain energy from being with other people, or am I drained of energy by spending time with others? Or seen the other way, the equivalent question is: To recharge my mental/emotional batteries, do I need to spend time by myself, or do I need to be with others?
Bottom line: An introvert can love being with other people, but even when (s)he's with close and dearly-loved friends, the time spent being with others drains energy. To get recharged again, the introvert has to find time alone. The true extrovert is just the opposite--time alone drains energy, until, if left by himself long enough, he'd just go flat. The true extrovert has to be with other people--talking to them, relating, laughing, and/or crying--in order to be recharged.
So, based on the loose definitions above, I agree I am an extroverted introvert--I am an introvert (needing time alone to recharge) who has successfully learned to function in leadershipand social situations like an extrovert. I can make friends and talk to people. I can interact and empathize and motivate and take charge. But it costs me to do this. Six to ten hours of this at a crack--yeah, I've trained myself to be able to do it. But eighteen or twenty-four or thirty-six hours of having to be with other people--and having NO OPPORTUNITY TO GO OFF ALONE during that time--and I'd be ready to crawl the walls to get away from them. I'd be desperate. And this is true even if these other people are my best friends in the whole world!
I can (and have been) lonely in a crowd, but usually I relish time spent by myself in my own thoughts. I go away from people to recharge. When I've gotten recharged, I can come back to my family, co-workers, and friends, and be just as outgoing and fun as any extrovert.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Kobojunkie: 8:28pm On Dec 30, 2011|
[size=13pt]The relationship between introversion and depression[/size]
There have been some studies suggesting a link between introversion and depression, but other findings suggest there is no such connection. Presuming there is a correlation between introversion and depression, there are a variety possible factors influence the data. It's important to overcome the stigma that introverts are somehow inferior.
It's well known that depression can cause people to isolate themselves from others. Those who previously engaged in social activities may become less outgoing or completely avoid their friends and family. Because it's difficult to determine whether the causes of someone's introversion are primarily genetic, the very fact that people have depression means the results will likely skew towards suggesting that introverts are more depressed. This may be false, in some ways, because depressed people become introverted even if they may be extroverted by nature. It's not "introversion" itself that causes depression.
Of course, introverts arguably are less outgoing and form fewer connections. This can contribute to a lower amount of job opportunities, friends, relationships, and other areas of life. With that said, introverts are also more prone to establishing a small group of close friends rather than spreading themselves out. So one might argue that extroverts have more social support against depression, that's not necessarily true. A close friend's comfort can mean a lot more than the comfort from workplace associates. Furthermore, not everyone with depression is going benefit from a wide social network. Given the stigma towards mental health , it is more than possible people will make the depressed person feel worse or cause someone who is not depressed to feel bad about themselves. The more people you know, so to speak, the more people who can say negative things about you.
Perhaps one of the strongest contributors to a depression amongst introverts is a lack of understanding. Society has a rather elitist attitude towards extroversion and socialization. The person who spends their time reading a book over the weekend is seen as strange. Furthermore, an extreme extrovert my be friendly with everyone and constantly talk to new people, make new friends, and build their social network. The can face criticism, of course, but it's hardly comparable to the extreme introvert. Someone who rarely leaves the house or even has no friends may be perfectly happy.
Everyone is not the same psychologically, and some people have enough interesting thoughts in their mind that they don't need someone else's to deal with. This isn't to say extroverts can't be just as thoughtful, but it's to stress that introverts aren't all shy or secretly wishing they were the life of the party. Most of them resent the efforts of others to constantly provide them with "what they are missing." They just have different interests than the majority. It's important for introverts to accept who they are, and this can be difficult when society is constantly judging them on their social life. This can be a factor and possible explanation for the depression in some introverts and a possible link being introversion and depression.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by tpia5: 9:55pm On Dec 30, 2011|
I'm not sure introverts ae more prone to depression though that's the common assumption.
I could be wrong but i think introverts may actually be able to cope with depression better.
In nigeria, being introverted isnt necessarily seen as an anomaly, unlike what obtains in western countries like the US. Back home, its not uncommon within the same family for some to be extroverts while others are introverts. So, people grow up knowing everyone does not have the same type of temperament. However, this doesnt seem to be the case overseas- america in particular.
Yorubas, describe an introvertedor quiet person as "inu e jin" meaning deep thinker. Its not necessarily negative although sometimes it can be, depending on the person's character and/or environment.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by ronkebp(f): 9:56pm On Dec 30, 2011|
I see!!!!! , that means my hubby is 80% of an introvert, he is wierd, because he can talk from now till heaven comes with me, but when we are around other people, he keeps mute, he hates going to parties, but loves to sit home watch soccer or be on his computer, when i ask him, he would be like, ''a man needs time to think'' and i would be like '' seriously '',some times i would be so angry with him, but i am getting to know his person and understand him, now this post has opened my eyes completely.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by tpia5: 10:01pm On Dec 30, 2011|
I think the general assumption in the west is a human's natural state is extroversion, and being introverted is an abnormality caused by either a character defect or traumatic circumstances.
This may be true in some cases, but i personally would be careful about a one size fits all theory.
Occasionally, extreme extroversion is a sign of impending mania, but one wouldnt assume all extroverts are potential psychos.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Outstrip(f): 10:40pm On Dec 30, 2011|
I think I am an introvert
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Kobojunkie: 2:03am On Dec 31, 2011|
[size=14pt]Recovery For Introverts[/size]
Dr. Andrew LangePhysician, author and lecturer
I went to see the Red Book of C.G. Jung, the father of analytical psychology, at the Rubin Museum in New York this week. The Red Book is Jung's personal copy of paintings and hand written observations bound in a large red leather book. Until recently almost no one was allowed to view the Red Book. He created this book to document a period in his life when he was "menaced by psychosis". It represents Carl Jung's personal experiences and his willingness to explore the range of his own unconscious fantasies. Through his ability to see the problems of his life as guides to their solution, he helped establish tremendous contributions to modern psychology. Jung saw the relationship between the myths and symbols of all cultures as a key to understanding how our unconscious expresses ideas. He understood that many of the myths represent the journey we all take to become fully developed human beings.
In 1910 Jung published a paper entitled, "Psychic Conflicts in a Child," in which he introduced the term "introversion" for the first time. We think of introversion mostly in the negative sense. The child who sits in the corner lost in his own thoughts. Kurt Cobain, whose tremendous sensitivity led to his own demise. Or Adam Sandler, the withdrawn, quiet or nervous actor. In many ways these are viewed as weaknesses in a world that values extraversion and explicit demonstrations of power or materialism.
However, introversion produces the results similar to finely cooked meal. A meal that has been carefully planned. Perhaps where days have been spent marinating the food or collecting the spices and ingredients. When the meal is finally served there is no comparison to the fast food, immediate gratification of the extravert. An introvert may be the child who does not speak until they are two, then produce full sentences with observations long forgotten by others. The introvert in fairy tales is the boy who sits in the corner doing nothing, while his brothers attempt to be arrogant heroes and fail miserably. It is finally the unspoken hero, the quiet youngest son who finds the solution to the problem.
Jung said, "The inner world is a delight for the introvert. He feels at home, where the only changes are made by himself. His best work is done with his own resources, on his own initiative, and in his own way. If ever he succeeds, after long and often wearisome struggle, in assimilating something alien to himself, he is capable of turning it to excellent account."
The problem with the introverted person is they become possessed by their own inner world. They become resentful because others have not understood the thoughts they have never communicated. They make assumptions that only could be grasped by a psychic. And they withdraw further because they assume no one can appreciate the complexity of their efforts.
As a recovering introvert myself, I always wanted to create a two step program to help others overcome their inhibitions in a healthy way. Two of the major ways to balance an introverted nature is as follows: Speak your mind. Don't be selfish, give of your self. Practicing giving without the concern for its interpretation. Take a risk, so that others may come to know you. And finally, no two step program could be complete without dancing. Dancing is a great way to express yourself and communicate with someone else that transcends words. So get out, make a fool of yourself and have a little too much fun.
Perhaps the greatest guide for a recovering introvert is the book, Letters to a Young Poet, by the German Poet Rainier Maria Rilke. He says, "for what I could say about your tendency to doubt or about your inability to bring your outer and inner lives into harmony or about all the other thing that oppress you is , just the wish that you may find in yourself enough patience to endure and enough simplicity to have faith; that you may gain more and more confidence in what is difficult and in your solitude among other people. And as for the rest, let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always."
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Mayflowa(m): 4:35am On Dec 31, 2011|
Thanks for sharing this with everyone. I do hope you will stay in family section for good Kobo. . For me, am in-between. Some people actually believe I dont talk or socialize while other group believe am a talkative and everything social. I just know I get tired of social activities when is getting too much. I like my space and to ruminate over my past actions.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by tpia5: 4:52am On Dec 31, 2011|
i dont see introversion as a disease that needs to be cured.
what i feel is needed is an understanding of temperaments because its a shame really that in this age of internet and access to so much information some will still need training before they know how to relate with different types.
i mean, if hippocrates or someone wrote about humours or temperament thousands of years before Christ, then why is the west still uninformed on this issue?
though to be fair their reason for being wary of introverted people might be from past experiences.
however, where you have different cultures and immigrants to consider, you cant just make blanket assumptions.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by tpia5: 5:06am On Dec 31, 2011|
i'm yet to meet anyone who is 100% introverted.
and a natural introvert who forces him or herself into an extroverted character due to pressure from others, or fear of embarassment socially, more likely than not will sooner or later get into some type of trouble which could probably have been avoided had they been allowed to go at their own pace.
trying to force yourself into another character different from yours can be very draining, especially if you're not in the acting profession. and chances are you'll still piss people off anyway because they'll sense you're not real and may also tag you arrogant and a show off.
imo, find a comfort zone or somebody of like mind to chat with occassionally, if you're under pressure to conform to an extroverted environment.
some extroverts do get very uneasy around introverted people. So try to set them at ease by engaging in a little chitchat- even if its only asking about the weather.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Outstrip(f): 6:45am On Dec 31, 2011|
This article makes a ton of sense to me. According to this article I am a textbook case introvert.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by tpia5: 7:33am On Dec 31, 2011|
this is a book which i found useful when younger:
Pople dont have to agree with everything in it though.
i've typed whole epistles on this thread already- too much sef.
people should just adapt to whatever situation they're in. Good luck and Godspeed.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Mustay(m): 7:56am On Dec 31, 2011|
Am on both sides I guess.
Sometimes, I'm ''out there'' disturbing you and other times, I just want to have ''me time''.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by iice(f): 9:31am On Dec 31, 2011|
I think this is true too.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by maclatunji: 8:31pm On Dec 31, 2011|
Being an introvert is fun. If you are blessed with ability to withstand societal pressure, you become an enigma more or less. So you get people saying things like: 'I didn't know he talks' or 'I can't believe it could achieve that' etc. I remember in secondary school there was this girl who almost puked when the Vice Principal told her I had better grades than her and was due to get a position as Prefect ahead of her. As an introvert, I hated the idea of being a prefect and ultimately did not get the position with the girl getting what she wanted.
I am driven by me, it is very difficult for anybody else to motivate me.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by 2mch(m): 10:12pm On Dec 31, 2011|
Any one at extremes of both personalities is either a psychopath or a sociopath. In life, there should always be a healthy balance. .
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by tpia5: 12:27am On Jan 01, 2012|
Yes, balance is important but that's not the issue here.
Personally, i kind of like talking to introverts because i found most of them will give you their undivided attention when in a conversation with you.
Unlike extroverts whose minds tend to be in ten different directions at any point in time, and who may always be looking over their shoulder for the next stimulus so to speak.
Anyway, people are different and when overseas in particular, introversion is considered a character defect like i pointed out before.
But i feel that's an incorrect generalization especially when considered in a cultural and immigrant context.
I've also found many people of mixed heritage eg nigerian americans tend to be on the introverted side because they have to bear the burden of juggling two cultures and trying to fit in with both.
Trying to be nigerian and american together for instance. Its not as easy as people think and might be more tasking for those who spent their childhood and youth doing this.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by tpia5: 12:28am On Jan 01, 2012|
As opposed to the ones who came over as adults.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Kobojunkie: 7:21am On Jan 01, 2012|
[size=14pt]The Introvert’s Guide to Building Relationships[/size]
I have a secret to share with you. I’m a natural introvert. I love curling up with a good book, writing, going for long hikes, and doing yoga. I can do a lot of these things by myself. And while I love alone time, I also love connecting with people and believe building relationships is a key component to happiness.
But I’m crazy shy and get really nervous when I meet new folks. I tend to stumble over my words, forget things that should be easy to remember, and laugh in very high pitches.
Now just because I’m a natural introvert, doesn’t mean I hide out in my apartment all the time. I’m constantly looking for ways to challenge myself. For instance, last week I had the pleasure of meeting Chris Guillebeau for coffee. Chris is one of my favorite writers and also inspired me to start living an unconventional life. So to actually meet Chris in-person was a big deal.
As I biked across town to meet-up with Chris, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my body and land on the sidewalk. I kept telling myself:
“Seriously, chill out. Chris is a fellow human. And I don’t think he has any magical superpowers that he is going to smite me with, just because I’m nervous.”
It was awesome talking with Chris about entrepreneurship, his epic book tour, The World Domination Summit, and the launch of Smalltopia. I love working at home and connecting with my online community. However, it’s always fun to connect with people face-to-face. All the positive self talk seemed to help stem my anxiety and I think my chat with Chris went really well.
If you have trouble breaking out of your shell, try some of these strategies:
[size=13pt]1. Do what you’re afraid of.[/size]
I constantly look for ways to challenge myself by meeting new people and taking on new projects that I’m afraid of. I’ve noticed an interesting pattern when I’m scared of starting say, Project X, that project usually turns out to be crazy successful. I’m not sure why this is the case, but it’s been true for me. I’ve also found that when I’m scared of meeting new people, I end up walking away with a new friend.
[size=13pt]2. Met new friends by volunteering.[/size]
Volunteering is an amazing way to connect with like minded individuals, break out of your shell, and build community at the same time.
[size=13pt]3. Connect with friends for coffee, a bike ride, or a picnic in the park.[/size]
For my fellow introverts out there, I think it’s essential to connect and keep reconnecting with acquaintances, friends, and even family. Don’t let yourself get wrapped up in a bubble. Connect with your friends and actively practice using your social skills.
[size=13pt]4. Leave your smart phone at home.[/size]
Smart phones are handy tools. However, if you’re meeting a new person, volunteering, or meeting up with an old friend, leave your phone at home. If you can’t leave the your phone at home, put it on “silent.”
Phones can be used as a crutch to avoid intense conversations. Checking your smart phone every two minutes is not only rude, but you’ll miss out on good conversations and the chance to make a meaningful connection with a fellow human. Be present 100% or not at all.
[size=13pt]5. Ask lots of questions about a person’s history, opinion, and future goals.[/size]
Asking a lot of questions is a great way to get to know other people. And it’s an excellent strategy to harness nervous energy. I’ve found that by asking a lot of questions, I get to know people better and the focus is taken off of me.
What if you run out of questions to ask? Relax. The world isn’t going to end. It’s natural for conversations to end at some point. And if you’ve just met a new friend for coffee, you don’t have to talk to each other the whole time. You can just hang out, drink coffee, and do some work.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Nobody: 6:18pm On Jan 01, 2012|
People are certainly not exclusively introverted or extroverted. This is a common misconception. Psychologists have always argued for a degree of extroversion or introversion in individuals. In certain situations, an extrovert becomes an introvert, and in some others an introvert an extrovert. Jung, who proposed the theory of personality, made it quite clear that these are degrees of consciousness and not absolutes, but trust popular media to immediately render this common and gemein. I argue for better understanding
In addition, the poster's mention of front- and back- brain activities as characteristic of introverts and extroverts respectively is not scientifically supported. There exists numerous, uncleared questions about it. . . .and it's only proper that he highlights this in his copy-and-paste action!
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by Nobody: 9:30pm On Jan 01, 2012|
The author just described me.
I could be chatty and friendly and charismatic but just for a while.
I enjoy my own company and enjoy deep thinking.
I love me the way i am.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by freecocoa(f): 9:01am On Jan 02, 2012|
I think I agree with Suya on people not being exclusively introverted or extroverted.
Most times people don't even know where to place me,I'm the type you would literarily drag to an event,I hate outings,but if I eventually go to one and find it entertaining,I could be the last person to leave the event,yet I'm usually indoor more than anyone I know(at a point my mum started complaining)
Most times I love being by myself,there are days I'll wake up and feel like "I wish everyone would disappear from this world and leave me to the quietness", I sure do love deep thinking,reading,watching movies and I day dream a whole lot. Other times,(Very rarely) I would wake up and feel like I wanna party,talk from morning till night about just anything,i would not want to be alone for one second,etc.
Something I've noticed about me is that,in as much as I adore being alone and quiet,I don't find it hard to strike up a conversation,I can easily walk up to a guy and ask him out(FACT),I can talk to a stranger and ask about anything, I'm usually very bold(so I'm told) something people fear to speak up about,I speak out with so much ease,hence my siblings made me their spokesman even my friends too(I have very few)
I remember when I was much younger,my mum feared that I was going to be a stranger to my siblings cos I only play with them when I want to and that's not very often,I got called an ogbanje a lot by people, I remember my younger sister cried a lot cos I'd rather sit in the room alone doing practically nothing than talk let alone play with her,the only person I would happily talk to even when I don't feel like it is my dad till now.
I still keep to myself a lot, everyone that really knows me respects that,those that don't, think I'm weird,but whenever i decide to come out,the place is set on fire cos the noise I make would cure a deaf man.(though my bros still thinks I'm an ogbanje)sometimes I even think I'm weird.
Anyways I guess one can be on both sides of the coin.
|Re: 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts by maclatunji: 10:31am On Jan 02, 2012|
^You are an introvert and you are not on both sides of any coin- trust me!
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