At exactly 12 noon, murmurs
erupt from within the class, then
the teacher knew what we meant.
"any question" he says as he
packs his load "no question" we
chorused "okay, good day class".
Before he could manage himself
out of the class, we are already on
our way to the field in groups,
mine is the gymnastic group, I
love gymnastic right from my first
year- we'll quickly find ourselves
and rush to our site on the field. I
mostly watch them do the magics-
the name I personally give to
those gyms coz the only one I can
do is BIG BOSS -which one
somersault with hands in the air.
But when its time for BACK FLIPS
and others, I join the view and
clap group.
This we do everyday, but on this
day, I saw some student lying on
the field as if hiding, I moved
close to them to see what they are
doing but they ran away. I knew
not what is happening not until
some people who belong to the
racing group ran past the place
and one of them fell. "oh my God,
this guyz have done this thing
again, God punish them, " the boy
said painfully and continue to rain
curses and his friends came closer
to him for a helping hand.
To me it was fun, I never knew
what the guyz did, but I sensed
they caused the accident, so I
went to meet one of the boys I
will prefer to call the trappers to
ask him how they did it. "you will
join up tomorrow" was the last
word he said before its time to in,
we all pushed in to our different
classrooms, each with different
conditions (some wounded, some
happy because their mission to
wound was achieved).
The next day as said, I went to the
boy whom their group I want to
join, we met the others on the
field, we distributed ourselves
two-two, and each group set to
work in different part of the field.
I and my partner went to our own
part down as the boy started to
make knots with the long grasses.
I joined and we made as many as
possible as we can till we noticed
the runners are set to move then
we ran. They took off and started
running toward our area of work,
to my surprise one of them fell
down *GBOS* he sounded on
ground, what a great
accomplishment. That was how I
joined the game which we play
wisely, everyday.
On this day, things changed
totally, thou- after our duty to
knot the grasses, we ran as usual,
people fell as usual, the break
period ended as usual, we went
to class and started a new lesson.
"Hold on sir" a teacher said to the
teacher teaching us, with him was
three of members of the knoting
group, they had come to pick all
of us, they pointed me out, then I
shouted out "wtf? How do you
have to tell lies that I an one of
you, am I not one of the
gymnastic group? How then do I
have to join you people to do
evil?" I cried falsely, as some
people from the class supported
of that I am not one of them. To
cut it short, I wasn't nominated as
one of them, I was realised
because all the gymnastic
members supported me. The
nominated star knoters are
suspended for two weeks after
receiving 18 strokes of those
ferocious canes I always fear to
see a teacher hold, I pity them as
my conscience keep forcing me to
tell the truth.
How I wish we meet some of this
days so that I'll reconsile, coz I'm
still always hunted with the urge
to say AM SORRY for all I did to
them.

You have a story you want to tell and I get the rough idea of what you are trying to say. However, you need to improve with your tenses and your spelling. I think you should get MSWORD 2007 and set the language to English (UK). Run this story on it and try to reduce the errors. You need to read more, use the dictionary and study some English textbook to improve- I suggest 'Countdown in English', a phenomenal guide to English.

I admire your guts to make an effort to write, the more you write- the better you will get.

maclatunji:

You have a story you want to tell and I get the rough idea of what you are trying to say. However, you need to improve with your tenses and your spelling. I think you should get MSWORD 2007 and set the language to English (UK). Run this story on it and try to reduce the errors. You need to read more, use the dictionary and study some English textbook to improve- I suggest 'Countdown in English', a phenomenal guide to English.

I admire your guts to make an effort to write, the more you write- the better you will get.

thanks,, really i dnt mind d spellings when writing it, i intentionally shortin some of them coz i was typing from my mobile, bt 'bout the tenses- i'll try and improve. Thanks alot.

in addition to maclatunji's comment, it's good to write but when you are writing there are lot to be considered in bring out the beauty of your work. Your story is from the first person narrative and in a first-person narrative the story is relayed by a narrator who is also a character within the story, so that the narrator reveals the plot by referring to this viewpoint character as "I" (or, when plural, "we". Often times, the first-person narrative is used as a way to directly convey the deeply internal, otherwise unspoken thoughts of the narrator. Frequently, the narrator's story revolves around him-/herself as the protagonist and allows this protagonist/narrator character's inner thoughts to be conveyed openly to the audience, even if not to any of the other characters. It also allows that character to be further developed through his/her own style in telling the story. First-person narrations may be told like third-person ones, with a person experiencing the story without being aware that they are actually conveying their experiences to an audience; on the other hand, the narrator may be conscious of telling the story to a given audience, perhaps at a given place and time, for a given reason. In extreme cases, the first-person narration may be told as a story within a story, with the narrator appearing as a character in the story.

Moreover, you need to improve on your tenses and you can achieve this ultimately by regular reading and studying of English basic grammatical rules. e.g Verb 1 must equal to Verb 2 in complex sentences, plural nouns carry plural verb but with some exceptions.

You also have to improve on your punctuations, it will help the readers to understand the tone of your work.

There is a particular place you used the sound word *GBOS* with asterisk signs applied at both end. I don't think there is a need for asterisk sign, what you could have done is to put and exclamation mark (!) to express a sudden action. In other hand, the asterisk sign (*) is used in literature to indicate an omission, a reference to a footnote, or an unattested word, sound, affix or as an alternative to parenthetical references because it's a simpler way to acknowledge information gained from another source.

Generally try as much as possible to make use of literary appreciations for readers to enjoy reading your work


Gbammmm over and out

thank you so much

seen

Maclatunji, thanks. You dunno what for probably, but your response here made me feel really good. I really didn't know what to say to the OP