A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's
hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks
since he's eaten anything besides what he could
forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves
and under trees.

One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the
woods. It has vines covering most of it and the
man can't see any other buildings in the area.
However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney
implying someone is home.

He knocks on the door and an old man answers,
with a beard almost down to the ground. The old
man squints his eyes and says 'What do you want?'

The man says 'I've been lost for the past three
weeks and haven't had a decent meal or sleep
since that time. I would be most gracious if I
could have a meal and sleep in your house for
tonight'

The old Chinese man says 'I'll let you come in
on one condition: You cannot mess around with
my grandaughter'

The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees,
saying 'I promise I won't cause you any trouble.
I'll be on my way tommorrow morning'

The old Chinese man counters 'Ok, but if I do
catch you then I'll give you the three worst
chinese torture tests ever known to man.'

'Ok, Ok' the man said as he entered the old
house. Besides, he thought to himself, what kind
of woman would live out in the wilderness all her
life?

Well, that night, when the man came down to eat
(after showering), he saw how beautiful the
grandaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and
while he had only been lost three weeks, it had
been many, many months without companionship. And
the girl had only seen the occasional monk
besides her grandfather and well, they both
couldn't keep their eyes off each other
throughout the meal.

That night, the man snuck into the girls' bedroom
and they had quite a time, but had kept the noise
down to a minimum. The man crept back to his room
later that night thinking to himself, 'Any three
torture tests would be worth it after that
experience.'

Well, the next morning the man awoke to find a
heavy weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and
there was this huge rock on his chest. On the
rock was a sign saying '1st Chinese torture
test: 50 kg rock on your chest'.

'What a lame torture test' the man thought to
himself as he got up and walked over to the
window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock
out. On the backside of the rock is another sign
saying '2nd worst Chinese torture test: Rock tied
to RIGHT testicle'.

The man, seeing the rock was too far out the
window to be grabbed, jumps out the window after
the rock. Outside the window is a third sign
saying '3rd worst Chinese torture test: LEFT
testicle tied to bedpost'.

oh my gaw, d
He is finshed me, n


ha ha, nice one

Heard this before but still funny!!!

This particular joke originated about 3 years ago. i love it so much and i always read it whenever i am down. The original version is damn too funny that you cant help but laugh and laugh.its so sweet, believe it
check it out

Ancient Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small
house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese
man
with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up
for
the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so
much
as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three
worst
Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old
as
well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was
young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously
attracted to
the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the
meal.
Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed
alone.
But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her
room
for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the
old
man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but
happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a
large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture
1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought.
"If
that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry
about."
He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the
boulder
out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese
Torture
2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw
the
rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few
broken
bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after
the
boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground
that
read, "Chinese Torture
3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."


damn funny ,abi

OOOOOUUUCHHHHHHH anything but that

I tied a rope arnd my penis n jumped from a tree

lol. . . . .

i think i'll strat tying a mini bra down there to keep my ballz safe and sound