₦airaland Forum

My friend married a woman on his level. Same exposure. Same earning power. Same drive.

Two years later, divorce.

Now he says he will never marry a “made” woman again. He wants someone on “level 2.”

Why?

Because the last one “did not rate him.”
Because she said there was nothing he could do for her that she could not do for herself.

Let’s be honest.

That statement did not end the marriage. His insecurity did.

A financially stable woman is not the problem.

An insecure man is.

Some men love the idea of a successful woman. Until they marry one.

Then reality hits.

She has opinions.
She has money.
She has options.
She does not worship survival.

And suddenly, ego starts shaking.

Not every man has the capacity to handle a woman who is already built.

To marry a made woman, you must be solid.

Secure in your identity.
Clear about your role.
Emotionally mature.
Unthreatened by her success.

If her success feels like competition, you are not ready.

Marriage is not about who earns more. It is about who is stable inside.

At the same time, let’s balance it.

Some “made” women are difficult.
Some weaponize independence.
Some speak with contempt.

Success does not automatically equal humility.

So here is the bottom line.

Do not marry up or down.

Marry mutual desire.

Marry someone who wants you.
Marry someone who respects you.
Marry someone who is ready to stay married.

Whether level 0 or level 10, if respect is missing, it will crash.

And if your ego cannot survive equality, the problem is not the woman.

It is you.

There is nothing you can do to satisfy a made woman that lacks wisdom. Even a level 2 or less woman who brazenly challenges the ego or pride of her man can not keep such a man. The working formula remains love+submission and not love+equality. Any slight change or modifications to this formula will certainly cause chaos.

I briefly dated a foreigner years back, at least the lady is decent to some extent but the issue have always been dictating because I believe as a guy, I should be the one to tell her what to do. She bluntly told me that ever her dad can't force her to do something, that who am I.

I thought about it and realized she was right. We men have this mentality of controlling whoever we are dating as if they don't have their own life. You want to hang out with your old friend but you don't want your wife to do the same, why?

A man can control his ego that comes when he start making money but hard for a woman to do so.

This quote 'there was nothing he could do for her that she could not do for herself' is a situational lie. It is up to the man to find the little things that his lady needs additional support on, whether emotional or social. It does not have to be as big as providing for the woman or paying bills, just something the man can do within his power.
-How about making the home feel less stressful than her work place in the little ways he can?
-How about making the home feel attractive for her to come back to after work?
-A successful career/business is fulfilling for a woman but a home where the little good things she does get a big compliment and praise compared to how she has to constantly prove her worth at her workplace should be the ideal environment a man should give her.

helinues:
I briefly dated a foreigner years back, at least the lady is decent to some extent but the issue have always been dictating because I believe as a guy, I should be the one to tell her what to do. She bluntly told me that ever her dad can't force her to do something, that who am I.

I thought about it and realized she was right. We men have this mentality of controlling whoever we are dating as if they don't have their own life. You want to hang out with your old friend but you don't want your wife to do the same, why?

U well at all? 🙄