wow did I hit a nerve? yes just what I wanted, to get you all started and unleash your anger on your keyboard, yessssss look at the epistle

My opinion of you havent changed though. still think you are a very silly stoopid eediot.

jennykadry:

wow did I hit a nerve? yes just what I wanted, to get you all started and unleash your anger on your keyboard, yessssss look at the epistle

My opinion of you havent changed though. still think you are a very silly stoopid eediot.

You dont pay my bills so i dont care what you or your crew thinks of me! You on the other hand needs to grow up and face the realities of this world IMO. Only stupid, immature, unforgiving, resentful, foolish, idioooot here is you but i mean i have heard you a HOOOO also on so many threads.

cya on the next thread jenny and co.

agiboma:

You dont pay my bills so i dont care what you or your crew thinks of me! You on the other hand needs to grow up and face the realities of this world IMO. Only silly, immature, unforgiving, resentful, foolish, idioooot here is you but i mean i have heard you a HOOOO also on so many threads.

cya on the next thread jenny and co.

Cya ke? we are not done here naa,where are you going to? .You need to stop making a big fool of yourself here cos between you and I? you are the f00l. You left your home country to invest on a useless waste of a spermatozoa called your husband, who sleeps with everything on skirt and pants including your female family relatives and his plus 10 yr old house girls and you are here calling me names?  jeez it hurts me to say this, like it really hurts me but I have got to say this "you are lunatic" and i can so feel your frustrations, married to a man who does not care about you, a man who does not find you sexually attractive anymore, a man that will go through hell and back just not to sleep with you, a man that does not give a flying fork if you lying next to him in bed or not,omeone that does not take notice of you, a man that I am sure only sees your private area when you come out of the shower and dress in his presence, a man that sleeps with women on your matrimonial bed and you sit down with the god forsaken expired cvnt of a mouth of yours, to say thrash about someone who is yet to complain that her husband has done half as much as yours have done to you? you think your mother does not sit down everyday and curse the day she actually conceived and gave birth to youj? you think she does not wish she used a better condom or birth control pill instead? you think you are not minus 1 in your family? you think she does not consider herself daughterless cos the daughter she carried in her precious womb for nine months is a fcuktard with no future ambition who is willing to stay with a man just because he's got a big d1ck?

You suck azzwipe, you bleeping suck.

Agiboma, why the personal attack? I never attacked you just questioned ur suggestion that a married woman should keep a side boyfriend. Doing that will not hurt the husband but she will disrespect herself and her body. Infidelity for both men and woman is first an insult to d person involved before it is to the spouse. Address issues pls not personalities. You made a point and u re entitled to it I was shocked and I reacted as I am also entitled to. No need to attack my person. Its a forum where no one knows anyone no need to start a personal war with pple who u don't know and might never meet.

This looks like a serial cheat.

hard to forgive

mutter:


Queen can you please break down. I cannot understand you.

you probably won't, you've turned a mans cheating into a sick artform.

ronkebp:

Agiboma you are really suffering in this your marraige oooo, marraige no be by force by fire oooo, open your eyes, get a good paying job and be a responsible woman, this arse licking will not take you anywhere.

so tell me who is better off? A woman that found love and comfort she's not receiving from her husband or a woman that faithfully sits with a serial cheat? An open marriage is better than a nuiscance one. and it works for many.

ronkebp:

^^^^^^^^^So you are in your marraige for money and not love ? hmmm!!! wonders shall never end!!!

must everybody marry for love? you never heard everybody isnt the same? im more than 100% sure the op married for love, see where that got her!

I think alot of people here are sadists, how they will encourage a woman to stick with a cheating disrespectful husband but frown at the idea of her getting herself a boyfriend is absolutely beyond me.
Why alot of Nigerian women have an affinity to sadness is a mystery i'll never understand.

Carrying their bible about preaching forgiveness while their husbands hump everything about town, its true when they say misery loves company. If the husband now abandons her or hands her an std to remember they'll be talking nonsense. mshew

So Queensmith with all this your ''narative essay'' you want to say it is right for a married woman to sit in her husband house whose husband does not give a damn about her and can bleep anything in skirt infront of the woman and she dares not utter a word all because he is paying her bills.

ronkebp:

So Queensmith with all this your ''narative essay'' you want to say it is right for a married woman to sit in her husband house whose husband does not give a damn about her and can bleep anything in skirt infront of the woman and she dares not utter a word all because he is paying her bills.

and where in my 'narrative essay' was any of the above written?

I feel bad for the kids involved in this mess. SMH. Tomorrow they will say they stay for the children. Are you screwing a boyfriend for the children too. Open marriage indeed. What pains me more is that agiboma has even entertained having other children with this man. Agiboma has not seen anything yet. Wait until you start cheating on him too. That is when you will really know that you married a devil.

queensmith:

and where in my 'narrative essay' was any of the above written?

No need to say it, it can be inferred from your reply above.

queensmith:

you probably won't, you've turned a mans cheating into a sick artform.
so tell me who is better off? A woman that found love and comfort she's not receiving from her husband or a woman that faithfully sits with a serial cheat? An open marriage is better than a nuiscance one. and it works for many.
must everybody marry for love? you never heard everybody isnt the same? im more than 100% sure the op married for love, see where that got her!

I think alot of people here are sadists, how they will encourage a woman to stick with a cheating disrespectful husband but frown at the idea of her getting herself a boyfriend is absolutely beyond me.
Why alot of Nigerian women have an affinity to sadness is a mystery i'll never understand.

Carrying their bible about preaching forgiveness while their husbands hump everything about town, its true when they say misery loves company. If the husband now abandons her or hands her an std to remember they'll be talking nonsense. mshew

Finally someone in tune with reality and has common sense could not agree with you more

debrief08:

Agiboma, why the personal attack? I never attacked you just questioned ur suggestion that a married woman should keep a side boyfriend. Doing that will not hurt the husband but she will disrespect herself and her body. Infidelity for both men and woman is first an insult to d person involved before it is to the spouse. Address issues pls not personalities. You made a point and u re entitled to it I was shocked and I reacted as I am also entitled to. No need to attack my person. Its a forum where no one knows anyone no need to start a personal war with pple who u don't know and might never meet.

ok

jennykadry:

Cya ke? we are not done here naa,where are you going to? .You need to stop making a big fool of yourself here cos between you and I? you are the f00l. You left your home country to invest on a useless waste of a spermatozoa called your husband, who sleeps with everything on skirt and pants including your female family relatives and his plus 10 yr old house girls and you are here calling me names?  jeez it hurts me to say this, like it really hurts me but I have got to say this "you are lunatic" and i can so feel your frustrations, married to a man who does not care about you, a man who does not find you sexually attractive anymore, a man that will go through hell and back just not to sleep with you, a man that does not give a flying fork if you lying next to him in bed or not,omeone that does not take notice of you, a man that I am sure only sees your private area when you come out of the shower and dress in his presence, a man that sleeps with women on your matrimonial bed and you sit down with the god forsaken expired cvnt of a mouth of yours, to say thrash about someone who is yet to complain that her husband has done half as much as yours have done to you? you think your mother does not sit down everyday and curse the day she actually conceived and gave birth to youj? you think she does not wish she used a better condom or birth control pill instead? you think you are not minus 1 in your family? you think she does not consider herself daughterless cos the daughter she carried in her precious womb for nine months is a fcuktard with no future ambition who is willing to stay with a man just because he's got a big d1ck?

You suck azzwipe, you bleeping suck.

blah blah blah blah, you still talking jenny aka bonvita aka whatever else you calling yourself, im done with you for now, you are not worth writting anything about

Outstrip:

I feel bad for the kids involved in this mess. SMH. Tomorrow they will say they stay for the children. Are you screwing a boyfriend for the children too. Open marriage indeed. What pains me more is that agiboma has even entertained having other children with this man. Agiboma has not seen anything yet. Wait until you start cheating on him too. That is when you will really know that you married a devil.

No i have not found the right person yet but im looking and yes my marriage is an open one and i dont care who says what about it. Im not the only one, others just choose to keep it a secret and front,but they are only deceiving themselves.

^^^^^well good for you Agiboma, i wish you luck with your ''open marraige'' thingy.

agiboma:

Finally someone in tune with reality and has common sense could not agree with you more

You wouldn't even.know sarcasm if it came and slapped you right in the face. 

Yea, more reason why I think you were born daft

jennykadry:

You wouldn't even.know sarcasm if it came and slapped you right in the face. 

Yea, more reason why I think you were born daft

Actually jenny you are right i dont know sarcasm, because mature ppl speak their minds and get their point out, children play games and taunt others if queen is being silly thats her business but i still stand behind my beleifs, just another one to add to your crew wow jenny you got quit a backing of followers

I meant everything i wrote ooo. Jenny is winding you up just ignore her.

She is incredibly self righteous your better off not entertaining her nonsense.

queensmith:

I meant everything i wrote ooo. Jenny is winding you up just ignore her.

She is incredibly self righteous your better off not entertaining her nonsense.

I know that girl and her nonsense indeed, with her multiple user names etc. She is the most immature nairalader i have come across. In short bonvita grow the fck up. Done with you for now.

^^^The most immature nlder? and you are here replying the immature nlder? what does that make you? you see why I called you dumb and daft? you just never diusappoint me with your second hand womanliness and nope I don't want to grow up. Like I stated earlier on, you wouldn't know sarcasm if it came and stood 2 inches away from you. Ode oshi

Just 2 days ago, Queen said only stoopid women stay with serial cheats and you are one of them so what can I say?

ok np you still on this issue with queen when she has 2 post stating she supported the bf issue. but their you are still ranting omg. I realize that this has become an adult conversation since we started to discuss open marriages, so run along and play jk, when the adults are finished talking you can then return ok. The concepts being discussed here are way over your head and that's ok as you grow up and mature you will then get a grip on the realities of life.

See queens original post, which clearly states the option of open season meaning get a boyfriend re-tard


If i were you i will have his bags packed and ready to be thrown in the nearest river, it's not a marriage your in, its shambles.

queensmith:


IMO you have two options, you can sit down and have a talk with you husband about a)divorce b)making it open season.

Several days ago when I first read this post I was tempted to say that that office girl should be told on to teach her a lesson  (but I hadn't the time to post then), how can she lure away the husband of another and pack away her own to go and enjoy cooly? Fr*aking Ashy girl like her-----yet it is wiser to concentrate on your marriage for now and finding out where things went wrong and whether it is redeemable  besides going after her in a situation like this may end up being placing her as the victim which can even draw out all the remaining love of your husband towards her as it's always the case in such things.

Agiboma needs our understanding and tender advising, most of us grew up with the love of our fathers. I can't imagine what life would have been without my father really. This lady lacked that love that only a father can give and may just be wanting that much for her children and putting that above her needs. She is sacrificing for her children however we look at her circumstance and not be happy with it. It's a dangerous position for one to be in but one of her reasons for staying is skin deep. I hope that God makes it right for her in the end and brings her man back to his senses and God will for sure.
Hey when they wanted to steal Bill away, didn't Hilary stand by her man for her own reasons too?

agiboma:

ok np you still on this issue with queen when she has 2 post stating she supported the bf issue. but their you are still ranting omg. I realize that this has become an adult conversation since we started to discuss open marriages, so run along and play jk, when the adults are finished talking you can then return ok. The concepts being discussed here are way over your head and that's ok as you grow up and mature you will then get a grip on the realities of life.

See queens original post, which clearly states the option of open season meaning get a boyfriend re-tard


If i were you i will have his bags packed and ready to be thrown in the nearest river, it's not a marriage your in, its shambles.

You are still here? your husband is busy servicing your 10 yr old maid and you are here sniffing jenny's sexy backside . I said I do not want to grow up na by force? leave me childish self, I love me this way .Go and do some housework joooo, abi you don't know you need to change your bed linens since I am very sure, your hubby must have gone 12 rounds on it with diff women

Ivynwa:



Agiboma needs our understanding and tender advising, most of us grew up with the love of our fathers. I can't imagine what life would have been without my father really. This lady lacked that love that only a father can give and may just be wanting that much for her children and putting that above her needs. She is sacrificing for her children however we look at her circumstance and not be happy with it. It's a dangerous position for one to be in but one of her reasons for staying is skin deep. I hope that God makes it right for her in the end and brings her man back to his senses and God will for sure.
Hey when they wanted to steal Bill away, didn't Hilary stand by her man for her own reasons too?   

Exactly, my son loves his father and to a great extent he is a great dad, he plays with him,takes him out and does all the daddy things he should do. i wont deprive my son of this, i love him to much, yes its taken alot to come to terms with things but moving fwd with this relationship i will do what i got to do to keep myself together mentally.

btw what happen to the OP, i certainly did not mean to hijack this thread and make it a follow up to my initial thread where my groupie love started originally.

Ivynwa:

Several days ago when I first read this post I was tempted to say that that office girl should be told on to teach her a lesson  (but I hadn't the time to post then), how can she lure away the husband of another and pack away her own to go and enjoy cooly? Fr*aking Ashy girl like her-----yet it is wiser to concentrate on your marriage for now and finding out where things went wrong and whether it is redeemable  beside going after her in a situation like this may end up being placing her as the victim which can even draw out all the remaining love of your husband towards her as it's always the case in such things.

Agiboma needs our understanding and tender advising, most of us grew up with the love of our fathers. I can't imagine what life would have been without my father really. This lady lacked that love that only a father can give and may just be wanting that much for her children and putting that above her needs. She is sacrificing for her children however we look at her circumstance and not be happy with it. It's a dangerous position for one to be in but one of her reasons for staying is skin deep. I hope that God makes it right for her in the end and brings her man back to his senses and God will for sure.
Hey when they wanted to steal Bill away, didn't Hilary stand by her man for her own reasons too?   

I totally disagree when people use their kids as an excuse to stay in a bad marriage. Being seperated or divorced doesnt mean the child is completely cut of from the fathers love. Heard about shared custody? Why raise a child to think its ok to clearly disrespect your wife? I really feel for Agiboma and if she can go back and read my first reply when she brought out her marriage I said I had been where she is and no one deserves disrespct in a marriage. Also In my Oppinion it is also not a good lesson to teach your child that if daddy is cheating, mummy can also go and cheat. A marriage in my own oppionion is based not only on love but trust, commitment, Mutual respect d compatiability. No one man or woman should sell them self short. Agiboma like any woman deserves to be happy and I feel sad when any one is short changed, been der, was given the advice to stay and manage, If I didnt have the courage to set my self free I would have probably been dead from beating, misery or high blood pressure by now. Today I am happy, loved, appreciated and satisfied. I wouldnt have had this if i had continued to stay and lie to myself.

Rather than continue to preach about things we will never understand lemme ask this;

Agiboma when you started seeing someone else outside of your marriage how did you feel? What exactly changed? Are you happier now even with your own marriage? Does your husbands misbehaving bother you? Are you sane and safe?

ronkebp:

No need to say it, it can be inferred from your reply above.

don't assume, read what you see and see what you read. I never 'inferred' anything in my post.

agiboma:

I know that girl and her nonsense indeed, with her multiple user names etc. She is the most immature nairalader i have come across. In short bonvita grow the fck up. Done with you for now.

I don't expect most 'Nigerian' women to understand the concept of an open marriage, then again I myself definitely do not understand a woman staying with her husband and benefitting nothing from the marriage- except a man that violates her very being by cheating.
An open marriage makes more sense to me than a faithful woman dating a cheating husband. At least when the marriage is open there is something you agree on. What is a woman teaching her children when she succumbs to emotional abuse at the hands of their father? It's fine to do what you like so long as your a man?
I don't expect most to agree with a woman defending herself in a marriage, don't be discouraged, in the end your the one thats in the marriage and you know how you feel. You came here offering your solution to a similar problem. Yet everyone tore down on you, were you complaining?
Some people and their self righteous nonsense.

Na wa oh . . . issues everywhere!

All these sad stories almost discouraged me from getting married. See what I would have been missing . . chei!

My advice to all these women with cheating husband . . . . go back and try to fix your marrage! If you can't, walk out. Life's too short to waste on some SOB in the name of marriage.

@ Aigboma

I only feel sorry for your children. Imagine growing up in an environment where daddy has a 'girlfriend' and mummy has a 'boyfriend'! *shivers*

wow where do i start, I have not cheated as of yet, the thought is definetly in my mind though but i have not acted on it.

@ cc this is not what i wanted in a relationship its just not period. As a young girl i dreamt about finding my prince charming and living happily ever after well this relationship has taught me such things dont exist. CC i will continue to try with this man until i cannot take it anymore, that could be today, tommorrow, next week or whenever. But i am not @ the point of walking out yet. The sadest thing about being with him is that i am scared to leave, even if i left him i would not know how to function in a relationship. Its 9 years we been together and he is just so much a part of me. Lets say i left and meet a very good man, the reality is I may not see that and i can just see myself possibly cheating on him and he may not deserve it. My altered sense of relationships @ this point in time suits my situation that i currently find myself in.
@ debrief i can understand you are trying to help me see the light at the end of the day by shearing your expereince and i am very happy that you found a great guy to call your own. You made a decision to leave it worked out well for you, i have not come to that decision for myself as of yet.
@queen you seem to get the idea of an open marriage the best on this forum
@ujojan dont feel sorry for my son he is well loved, although his dad is a womanizer he is a great dad and my son worships him, i wont break my son's heart. dont be scared of marriage its not all that bad, their are some ladies on here totally enjoying their marriage according to them.

I know you ladies hate to hear about women staying for the sake of their children but when you grow up fatherless like myself you really and truly realize that you missed the love of your father and you would do anything not to have the same happen to your children, only someone that has shared this life expereince would truly understand.

agiboma:

wow where do i start, I have not cheated as of yet, the thought is definetly in my mind though but i have not acted on it.

@ cc this is not what i wanted in a relationship its just not period. As a young girl i dreamt about finding my prince charming and living happily ever after well this relationship has taught me such things dont exist. CC i will continue to try with this man until i cannot take it anymore, that could be today, tommorrow, next week or whenever. But i am not @ the point of walking out yet. The sadest thing about being with him is that i am scared to leave, even if i left him i would not know how to function in a relationship. Its 9 years we been together and he is just so much a part of me. Lets say i left and meet a very good man, the reality is I may not see that and i can just see myself possibly cheating on him and he may not deserve it. My altered sense of relationships @ this point in time suits my situation that i currently find myself in.
@ debrief i can understand you are trying to help me see the light at the end of the day by shearing your expereince and i am very happy that you found a great guy to call your own. You made a decision to leave it worked out well for you, i have not come to that decision for myself as of yet.
@queen you seem to get the idea of an open marriage the best on this forum
@ujojan dont feel sorry for my son he is well loved, although his dad is a womanizer he is a great dad and my son worships him, i wont break my son's heart. dont be scared of marriage its not all that bad, their are some ladies on here totally enjoying their marriage according to them.

I know you ladies hate to hear about women staying for the sake of their children but when you grow up fatherless like myself you really and truly realize that you missed the love of your father and you would do anything not to have the same happen to your children, only someone that has shared this life expereince would truly understand.

I have nothing against you and I respect your decision but I really worry for you. Dont let a bad situation define you and turn you to what you are not. Being with someone who drains you can drown you look at Whitney Huston. Its your life, your decision and your marriage, and as much as I have been in that situation I wouldnt pretend to understand how you feel or what you are going through.
There are so many issues involved here, you really need to work on your self esteem, its hard to do that when someone makes you feel inadequate, not saying it to insult you but because I have been there too. Work on making your self feel valuable, imortant and sexy not for anyone but for yourself.
Like I said in todays world being seperated doesnt mean the child will not know his father.
I am not asking you to leave your husband, only you can make that decision, am only asking that you open you eyes and heart to the possibility that there may be better and happier things in life and unlike the societal held sterotype I dont believe anyone should be miserable to keep up any expectations. I did not automatically find a man, I spent a whole year crying, being sad and almost suicidal, however after a while I picked my self up and started to work on rebuilding my life, enjoying the little pleasuures of being alone and finding my self esteem, sexiness and confidence.
Like CC said, you dont correct something bad by doing another bad thing.
Anyway all this is just my oppinion> I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do and contrary to what you might have been led to believe "the Crew" doesnt hate you at least I can speak for my self, I just empathise with you and wish that you find the peace and happiness you deserve. We all deserve.

@ debrief thanks for the kind words and yes you and cc are correct you dont right a wrong with another wrong @ the end of the day the act itself may cause more misery. For the first time today i thought to myself perhapes a step father would be best for my son since his dad is a , anyhow ladies just give me time to sort this mess out if possible. If not I got to prepare myself and my son for the future ahead.

Ok lets get this clear, I am not staying for my children, I am staying for myself. I know that there are ups and downs and that I have had a lot of downs but I believe in giving another chance because frankly the man has begged me tire for the last four weeks. I dont now how much longer I am going to be angry for. My husbands and I are good friends and honestly things were good before I found out who she was (because I dont let things die). I know a lot of shit has gone down and we have both been unhappy but I'm looking to the future to be better. Most older ppl I asked say the first few years of marriage is the hardest. However, I am taking a few precautions. First I am putting my accounts in order so I can cut out if this happens again. I have my kids passports because when I ja, its out of the country. Third, I wont be so trusting as I have been in the past so I dont get so hurt anymore but, I believe this too will pass.
I know there are a lot of advocates for divorce but, divorce is also a very difficult and painful process that should not be taken lightly. I know he has seen all the pain he caused because he has begged me to forgive and we decided to hold each other accountable. I even thot of revenge sex but, I refuse to sin against my body just for revenge. However, I have decided to whoop that bitches ass and report her to her hubby. I have concluded plans, I know where she works now and where she lives(i do very good research even payin ppl to find things out. I am going with my passe to beat her down because no one insults me.
Thank you for all you advice, I appreciate and pls stop cussing each other out. The problem with women is self hate, we ae always fighting and sleeping with each others man. Guys dont do that, only ladies. Pls lets be more loving and build each other up rather than hurt and tear down.

Daresh, please do not go belittling yourself by fighting this woman.
Have enough confidence in yourself and what you have put into your marriage and let her be.
You might get injured and besides you are setting a bad example for your kids.