I decided to bring this here cos i felt the matured heads around here can help me solve this problem. I'm getting to the end of my tethers really.
After i finished my tertiary education a few yrs ago i moved to the big city to look for job. I stayed with my uncle then but had to move out cos the wife wasn't that accomodating. I didnt have any other place to stay and was contemplating going back to the village till i met this old time friend of mine who took me in. He was staying in a single room then and we were managing together. To be fair this guy was very nice to me. Fed me,gave me allowances etc. I think i stayed with him for close to a year and half. I noticed he likes women a lot then but probably cos he was yet to have a good job then he doesn't really go chasing after them. He's quite comfortable now but still single.
I moved out into my own crib like 6months ago. That is where the problem started. My friend now bring his numerous girlfriends(if i can call them that)to my place to sleep with them. He  has a big apartment now but he rarely take them there cos his mum is staying with him(she is hemiplegic due to stroke) and doesnt want to look irresponsible to her. To make matter worse my place is closer to his workplace than his. I use a 3bedroom flat of which i gave him the key to one of the rooms when he requested for it and i never knew that was his motive. I've been woken up from sleep a number of times in the night by the noise of lovemaking coming from the room. It was so embarrassing the day my girlfriend slept over. She's complaining bitterly about him now,even insinuating that i'm probably doing same thing as well. Sometimes i come back early from work to see one scantily clad thing pottering around in my kitchen. Bizzarely my junior bro stayin with me has started copying him.
My problem is how do i tell someone who has been so good to me in the past to stop coming to my place? I know people may advise me to talk to him but trust me it aint easy. The day i stylishly seized the key from him,he got angry,walked out on me and i had to beg him.
I'm sorry if this seems too long but i've infact left out so many details. Consider this a SOS from someone in real distress. I need help

Your friend helped you in time of need; don't ever forget that. However, that he helped you gives doesn't give him a right to turn your home into a yanshing pad. There is no short-cut around solving this problem. You're just going to have to be honest and upfront with him if it truly bothers you. It's not safe to have him bringing random strangers into your home at all hours of the night and its certainly not doing your current relationship any favors.

What would you have done if he was your roommate and paying rent? How would you have approached the issue? Use similar techniques with your friend. You want to keep riff-raffs out of your home but you probably don't want to lose a good friend in the process. How about working out an arrangement that restricts his "leisure" activities to during the day when you're at work and your gf is not in the place and insisting that he gets his "women" out of your home before a certain time? Wisdom no eash oh! Otherwise, we would all be King Solomon. I pray God gives you the wisdom to navigate this successfully.

Thanks. That's why i need a practical solution cos i've ruminated so much over it without comin to one.
Yesterday i subtly suggested hotels to him,he looked at me like i'm stupid or something and told me only hos are taken to hotels and he doesnt sleep with hos.
He concluded by sayin if i'm not comfortable with his action i should come out bluntly and stop the innuendos. I kept my peace.
My landlord (a real nosey parker) asked me last week why i turned his house into an 'abattoir'. That was his exact word. And i dont think he was joking.
I'm perplexed.

I undestand your plight and I hope it gets better.
Go ahead and tell him what the landlord said and how you feel. Tell him how his runs is affecting your r'shp negatively. Be blunt and wise

Tell him openly that his actions are painting you in a bad light.
Thankfully, he already suspects you're not happy with his activities.

Let him know you cherish his friendship but your girlfriend is complaining.
Suggest to him to rent a one room apartment for his activities and you won't mind contributing half the rent.

I feel your pain,but the fact that some 1 has been a help to you in times past doesn't mean he should now be a burden to u. Not that u're been ungrateful. Since two mature minds are involved,talk to him like a brother let him know the dangers or all this women also the kind of example is laying down for people around sighting your brothers example and then crown it up with ur landlord issue.let the environment 4 d chat be conducive so he won't feel hurt.its a very delicate issue that requires wisdom really.God help you

Wooow!!! I understand your case a 100 and 1 %. I have been down that road before. The only difference is my own friends ( 2 of them) were never there for me in the past. I accommodated, fed and maintained them all through their stay.

This is what I suggest you do, sit him down and don't mince words with him, let him know you appreciate his friendship to the extreme, but sure won't want to loose your girlfriend, home (if your landlord eventually can't take the nuisance act anymore), and your reputation in the are. Because trust me neighbors will point fingers at you and NOT him as being irresponsible.

Let him know you want to get more spiritual with your God and such can not be achieved under such room. Its a well known fact. God frowns at fornication, and if you want to get really close to Him, you need to cut down on such acts.

Also, if in case any one of those girls faints, injures or dies (God forbid) while your friend is camping them for his illicit acts, be rest assured you will be held responsible because it happened under your roof.

Don't be scared to confront him (don't be disrespectful). But be sincere and open with him.

I don't support the idea of paying part of the rent for a room apartment where he will continue his acts, if he can't afford a hotel, or take them home, then he should "get a life".

That's why I always advice guys with apartments to always restrict the number of guys especially they let know their apartment 'cus they will want to misuse the place whereas they will keep their "holy".

As for your younger brother, threaten to kick him out of your place if he continues with the bringing in of different girls. Insist on him bringing in only his girlfriend. This will make your friend see that you aren't witch hunting him.

All the best.

Does your landlord stay in the same compound and is he old and matured?If yes,tell your landlord to embarrass and deny him entry him when next he comes.No insult but real embarrassment.That should solve it.

ifyalways:

Does your landlord stay in the same compound and is he old and matured?If yes,tell your landlord to embarrass and deny him entry him when next he comes.No insult but real embarrassment.That should solve it.

Thats the technique I used to discourage a friend of mine that was doing that 2 me some years ago. I am married now and he (although 4 years later) is still hoping around with different skirts in different friends houses but not mine.

ifyalways:

Does your landlord stay in the same compound and is he old and matured?If yes,tell your landlord to embarrass and deny him entry him when next he comes.No insult but real embarrassment.That should solve it.

GBAM!!!!
Or beta still, if your fiancee/girlfriend is less busy, take her to your place to stay for a while, women knows how to deal with such very easily, I trust them

jossy26:

GBAM!!!!
Or beta still, if your fiancee/girlfriend is less busy, take her to your place to stay for a while, women knows how to deal with such very easily, I trust them

leave your girlfriend outta this fight biko. She is a girlfriend and nothing more

Guys i'm so grateful for all the pieces of advise. I guess i will just have to face my demons and stop being a whimp. I'll talk to him the way you guys have advised and maybe use Ifyalways method as a last resort (whoosh that's what i call a practical solution!). Just like you've rightly guessed,i dont want to be labelled an ungrateful person nor lose his friendship but i guess i dont've any other option now than for us to have that conversation.
@Ifyalways. My landlord is just as you described. Stays in same house,matured and a nosey fellow to boot. Infact he's been mumbling about mysterious condoms blocking the drainages for a while now. And i know he's refering to me/friend.
BTW i'm happy i didnt do this in the romance section,some numbskulls would've torn me to pieces by now.

I've always maintained that people must learn to draw their boundaries and be willing to enforce it.  You have to let people understand that there are things you wouldn't tolerate not withstanding the relationship you've had with them in the past.

Basics007:

. Infact he's been mumbling about mysterious condoms blocking the drainages for a while now.

LMAO . I'm loving this landlord of yours

Let him know your landlord is complaining bitterly regards the fact that his building has been turned to a slaughter slab.

I like Ify's suggestion. The ultimate passive-aggressive solution! Just do it! However, be prepared for your landlord to feel empowered going forward to screen all your guests and visitors.

moremi2008:

I like Ify's suggestion. The ultimate passive-aggressive solution! Just do it! However, be prepared for your landlord to feel empowered going forward to screen all your guests and visitors.

That's why i said i'll make it the last resort. I wouldn't put it past the man to do the job more than necessary.

femmy2010:

Let him know your landlord is complaining bitterly regards the fact that his building has been turned to a slaughter slab.

LOL. OP, The landlord will hold you responsible if the constant hammering damages his building foundation.


Have you thought of relocating to another part of the city? Probably an area that he would find it hard to visit or bring girls to.

Poster,
You need to take control of the situation.
You are soon going to go into another stage in life being a family man, so you have to use this as a practical exam for future tests that will come up. A man needs to be in control of his house.
Remember your friend has control of his home, that is why he does not want to blemish it by bringing various girls there.
So too this is your home and you need to protect it because it is soon to house a wife and kids.
So no beating about the bush, you cannot compare what he is demanding of you now, with what he did for you. He helped you in your time of need. But he is not in need now, all he is doing is tainting your reputation and making you condone things that are absolutely immoral and unacceptable.
Just tell him at it is. Man I want to settle down and I have a junior brother, I cannot expose them to this type of life. Let him know that it is perfectly okay for him to bring one girl to your house but not several. That is a reasonable compromise.
Anyway just think about this- a man that has so little respect for your home , will soon be making asses at your girlfriend.
besides you can also tell him that you are taking the relationship with your gf to another level and need the key for her.
This is just a friend wait till the in laws start lining up

@OP
the solution to your problem is easier than you think:
simply tell your friend to QUIET DOWN when he sh[b]a[/b]gs his babes, and advise him that when he is done with them he should have the gals leave, rather than them walking indecently around the house half nekkid, ET VOILA!

whatever your gf "think" you do is irrelevant, since you know fully well that you aint into this lifestyle,. if she is insecure like that then thats HER cross to carry. as for your bro, do you really think you can run his life like that? tell him what you would like him to do and then let him live his life.

BE A FRIEND, BE A BROTHA. . . . . . . . . . DONT BE A DICTATOR!

@OP

maybe its time for you to invite your mum down for a visit
that surely has to bring an end to it all

just tread carefully some people dont know when they have overstepped the boundary

its a sensitive issue

Does your friend have a 1st choice gf?

Why dont you act like you are being an advocate for his gf and you wont tolerate him being unfaithful to his gf and especially not in your house.

The only girl you want to see in your house is his Real gf no one more and you would kick any other stanky asss ho outta your crib

I've paid for 2yrs and spent only 6months in the apartment so moving out is not an option for now.
I cant invite my mum for now cos she's presently with one of my sisters who just gave birth.
I've never seen his stable girlfriend but he used to tell me about his babe currently studying for her masters in Holland i think.
I think with everything i've seen here i guess we will definitely have the 'talk'.
We've a date on Friday,wish me luck guys.
Once more thanks for the help. I really appreciate it

Guy, what is the problem with your friend banging multiple babes in your house? It's not like he's banging them on your bed. Na bad belee dey worry you? Anyways, here is a simple solution. Just tell him your landlord is harrassing you about the issue, so he needs to tone it down and stop it completely.

Genius100:

Guy, what is the problem with your friend banging multiple babes in your house? It's not like he's banging them on your bed. Na bad[i][b][/b][/i] belee dey worry you? Anyways, here is a simple solution. Just tell him your landlord is harrassing you about the issue, so he needs to tone it down and stop it completely.

why are you talking through your rear end?.

Genius100:

Guy, what is the problem with your friend banging multiple babes in your house? It's not like he's banging them on your bed. Na bad belee dey worry you? Anyways, here is a simple solution. Just tell him your landlord is harrassing you about the issue, so he needs to tone it down and stop it completely.

I know you are probably joking right?
Anyway it's not 'bad belle' as you said.
My landlord and girlfriend are complaining and my stupid junior bro is toeing his path. Hope that's enough reasons for ya?