Ibrahymoba: U r nt sirioz...

hahahahaha....lol

A man goes to his doctor and
complains
that his wife hadn't had sex
with him for the past six months.
The doctor tells the man to bring
his wife
in so he can talk to her and
hopefully
determine what the problem is.
The following day, the wife goes
to the
doctor's office. The doctor asks
her what's
wrong, why doesn't she want to
have sex
with her husband?
"Oh, that's easily explained. For
the past
six months," the wife says, "I've
been
taking a cab to work every
morning. I
don't have any money. The cab
driver
asks me, 'Are you going to pay
today, or
what?' So, I take an 'or what'."
"Then, when I get to work," she
continues, "I'm late, so the boss
asks me,
'Are we going to write this down
in the
book, or what?' So, I take an 'or
what'.
I take a cab to go home after
work and,
as usual, I have no money. The
cab driver
asks me again, 'So, are you going
to pay
this time, or what?' Again, I take
an 'or
what'.
So you see, doc, by the time I get
home
I'm all tired out and don't want it
anymore."
"Yes, I see," replies the doctor. "So,
are
we going to tell your husband, or
what?".......LW MKD!!!..

Husband V/S Wife
Husband: Do you know the
meaning of WIFE?
It means,
Without Information, Fighting
Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever
***************
**************
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you
were a newspaper, So I could
have a new one everyday.
***************
**************
Doctor: Your husband needs rest
and peace. Here are some
sleeping
pills.
Wife: When must I give them to
him?
Doctor: They are for you
***************
**************
Wife: I had to marry you to find
out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known
it the minute I asked you to marry
me.
***************
**************
Husband: Today is Sunday & I
have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your
parents
illryhmz..

Oce4gud: Any PHARMACY aspirants?

yes wo we are here.i applied phmcy too.what is ur aggaregate?

Hashiya: yes wo we are here.i applied phmcy too.what is ur aggaregate?

225 nd u_ wsh state ar u frm. Wat do u think?

When I was a kid, my Mum liked
to make food for
dinner every now & then. I
remember one night in
particular when she made dinner
after a long, hard
day at work. On that evening so
long ago, my Mum
placed a plate of stew and
extremely burnt yam in
front of my dad. I remember
waiting to see if anyone noticed!
Yet, all my dad did was reach for
his yam,
smiled at my Mum and asked me
how my day was at
school. I don't remember what I
told him that night,
but I do remember hearing my
Mum apologize to my
dad for burning the yam. I'll never
forget what he
said: "Honey, I love burnt yam."
Later that night, I went to hug my
Daddy good night and I asked
him if
he really liked his yam burnt. He
wrapped me in his
arms and said, "Your mama put in
a long hard day at
work today and she's really tired.
And besides... A
burnt yam never hurt anyone but
harsh words do!"
'You know, life is full of imperfect
things... And imperfect people.'
'I'm not the best when it comes to
keeping dates and remembering
things just like
everyone else'. What I've learned
is to accept each
other’s faults and choosing to
celebrate each other’s
differences, is one of the most
important keys to
creating a healthy, growing, and
lasting relationship. Life is too
short to wake up with regrets.. .
Love the
people who treat you right& have
compassion for
the ones who don't. Stay blessed:

!*STORY OF THE DAY*!
(read to the end)
A man was caught and thrown
into a pit of about"40
feet" deep, just because he was a
stranger. He
struggled trying to get out of the
pit,
but the more he tried, the weaker
his musclesbecame.
He said to himself, "I don't know
how to get myself
out of this. Maybe I should just die
instead of
enduring these miserable
strugglesand pains."
Just then, he heard a voice
screaming, "Help! Help!!
Help!!!" The shouts were coming
from another pit, which was "10
feet" deeper than the one he was
in.
He thought to himself,"Wow, so
there is somebody
else like me trapped here too".
Listening carefully, he heard some
cracking and sand
dropping from the wall of the pit
of the other victim.
Immediately he summed up his
courage and with his last bit of
strength, started crawling little by
little until
he made it out of his pit.
MORAL LESSON:
That pain you think you are
passing through, there
are people worse off than you.
Always say
something sweet to yourself.
Always smileat your pains. Let
them be; they are just there for a
while
and also to challenge you.
Today may be your darkest hour,
but your joy will
come in the morning. Try to
encourage yourself.
Look at yourself in the mirror,
beat your chest and
say, "I can make it andI can stand
the test of time." *Always try to
face your worst fear because
nothing
GOOD comes easy. You must be
UNCOMFORTABLE to
get to your COMFORT ZONE.
LETS PRAY
Dear Lord I ask you to give the
person reading this
faith and strength to face
whatever difficulty/ challenge he/
she is going through.AMEN.

Khalid -- Heart Melting Story.



I was a teacher in the Qur’anic study circle at our neighborhood Masjid at the time. I would see this young boy after Maghrib prayers; you might say he was about fifteen years old. He held a pocket Qur’an and sat alone readingfrom it – no, he wasn’t actually reading from it, he was just trying to make it seem as if he was. Now and again, he would shyly steal a few glances at us, curious to know what wewere doing. Once in awhile, you might see him straining to make out what wewere talking about. Every time I caughthis eye, he would avert his head and continue with his recitation, as if he had not intended to look this way. Dayafter day, he sat in the same reserved manner, revealing the same timid glance. Finally after Isha Salah one day, I resolved to confront him. “As Salamu ‘Alaykum, my name is Salman,I teach the Qur’anic study circle in this Masjid.” ‘And my name is Khalid.’ Strange, he replied so fast, as if he hadbeen waiting to share this piece of information for such a long time and expected to be asked. “Where do you study Khalid?” ‘In the Eighth grade…and I…I love the Qur’an a lot.’Strange indeed, why did he

add that last sentence? Confidently, I asked him, “Listen Khalid, have you gotany free time after Maghrib? We wouldbe honored to have you join us in the class.” ‘What? The Qur’an? The Halaqah? Yes…why, yes of course (happiness overcame him). I’ll be there,Insha’Allaah.’ That night, I couldn’t think of anything other than this young boy and the haze that surrounded his behavior. Sleep would just not come. I attempted to interpret an answer for what I saw and heard, but there was none. A verse of poetry came to mind: ‘the coming days shall unravel the mystery / and the news may appear from where you could never see.’



I turned on my right side and slipped my right hand under my cheek. O Allaah, I have surrendered myself to You and to You I turn over my affairs.*** Subhan Allaah, how the calendar was jogging by. Khalid was now a regular in our Qur’anic circle, energeticand

successful in memorization. He was friends with everyone and everyone wasfriends with him. You could never catchhim without a Qur’an in his hand, or find him in any other line in Salah other than the first.



There was nothing wrong with him except for his occasional long lapses of attention. There were times when his stoned eyes would reflect the fathomless thought going on in his mind. Sometimes we knew his body was with us, but his soul was somewhere else, suffocating in another world.



Occasionally, I would startle him. All hehad was a mumble to reply with, he would have been the first to admit its fabrication. One night, I walked with him

after class to the beach shore. Maybe his big secret might meet something equally large, relax somewhat, and release its distress and pain. We arrivedat the beach and traced the waves. The full moon was out. A strange sight.The darkness of the night found the darkness of the sea, with a lit moon in-between them. It sat somewhat embarrassed at its intrusion, similar to my shyness towards Khalid right then. The rays of the silent moon rested on the silent waves of the sea. I stood behind the silent boy. The scene was silence. Just then! It all shattered and crushed to the ground as the young boy fell to the bottom, bleeding his heart with tears. I chose not to interrupt Khalid’s emotional release, perhaps the saltiness of his tears mighthelp him relax and cleanse his distress. After a few moments he said from behind his tears, ‘I love you all…I love the Qur’an…and those who love it. I love pious brothers, moral, pure brothers.’ ‘But…my father…it’s my father.’ “Your father? What is wrong with your father Khalid?” ‘My father always warned me not to hang around with you people. He’s afraid. He hates you all. And he always tries toconvince me that I should hate you too. At any chance he gets, he’ll try to prove his point with stories and tales.’ ‘But…when I saw you people in the Halaqah reciting Qur’an, I saw something entirely different. I saw the light in your faces, the light in your clothes, the light in your words, even when you were silent I could see the light even then.’ ‘I doubted my father’stales and that’s why I would sit after Maghrib, watching you, pretending that I was part of the circle, trying to share in the light.’ ‘I…I remember Ustadh

Salman…I remember the time you approached me after ‘Isha prayer. I’d been waiting for that moment for sucha long time. When I began the classes, my soul locked itself into a world of purity with

your souls. I began the circle and was persistent. I wouldn’t sleep; my days and nights became Qur’an. My father noticed the change in my routine. He found out, one way or another, that I had joined the circle and that I was now hanging out with “terrorists.”



‘Then, on a dark night… ‘We were waiting for father to come home from the coffee shop, his daily ritual, so that we could all have dinner together.’ ‘He entered the house with his hardened face and slaps of anger.’ ‘We all sat together at the dinner mat. Silence settled on the gathering as usual, all ofus were afraid to speak in his presence.’‘He knifed the silence with his roaring and immediate voice. “I heard you’re hanging out with the fundamentalists.” ‘I was caught red. My tongue

looped and failed. All the words in my mouth attempted to come out at the same time. But, he didn’t wait for the answer… ‘He snatched the teakettle and threw it maliciously at my face.’ ‘The room spun and the colors united before my eyes. I stopped distinguishing the ceiling from the walls from the floor, and fell.’ ‘My mother held me.’ ‘A damp cloth on myforehead reminded me of where I was. The vicious voice turned on my mother, “Leave him alone, or you’ll be in the same lot.” ‘I crawled out of my mother’s lap and whimpered away to my room. He followed me down the corridor with the cruelest curses.’ ‘Therewas not a day that he didn’t beat me in some way. Curses, kicks, throwing whatever was nearest to his hand. My body had finally become a shiver of fear, grotesque colors formed all over. I hated him.’ ‘One day while we were sitting at the dinner mat, he said, “Getup, don’t eat with us.” ‘Before I could get up though, he pounced immediately and kicked me in the back, making me slam into the pots.’ ‘At that moment, lying there on there on the ground, I pretended to stand taller than him and shout back in his face…’ ‘One day, I’ll pay you back. I’ll beat you just like you beat me, and curse you just like you cursed me.’ ‘I’ll grow up and become strong. And you’ll get old and become feeble.’ ‘And then…I’ll treat you just like you treatedme. I’ll pay you back. ’ ‘After that, I lefthome and ran away. I just ran, anywhere, it didn’t matter anymore.’ ‘Ifound my way to this beach. It helped me wash away some

of the sadness. I held my pocket Qur’anand began reciting until I could continue no longer because of my excessive crying.’ And here, a few of those innocent tears descended again, tears that sparkled under the moon likepearls under a lamp. I couldn’t say anything, the surprise had arrested mytongue. Should I

be aghast at this beast of a father, whose heart knew nothing about mercy? Or, should I be amazed at this

patient young lad, whom Allaah had wished guidance for and inspired with faith. Or, should I be shocked at them both, at the father-son bond that had broken, causing their relationship to transform into that of a lion and a tiger, or a wolf and a fox. I held his warm hand and wiped away a tear from his cheek. I reassured him, prayedfor him, and advised him to remain obedient to his father. I told him to remain patient and that he was not alone. I promised that I would meet hisfather, speak to him, and try to evoke his mercy.



*** That incident slipped further away with each passing day. I tried thinking of ways to open Khalid’s case with his father. How should I speak to him? How was I going to be convincing? To be frank, how

was I even going to knock on his door? Then finally, I collected my courage, rehearsed my plan, and resolved that the confrontation…uh, meeting…would be that day at five o’clock. When the time arrived, I left forKhalid’s house with all my ideas and questions for his father dangling from my pockets. I rang the doorbell. My fingers trembled and my knees were melting. The door opened. There it was,standing in the shadow with it’s frowned lips and veins beating with anger. I tried beginning with a candid smile. Maybe it might smooth out someof the wrinkles before we even started.



He snatched my collar and jerked me towards him. ‘You’re that fundamentalist that teaches Khalid at the Masjid, aren’t you?’ “Well…uh…yes.” ‘God help me, if I eversee you walking with him again, I’ll break your legs. Khalid won’t be coming to your class anymore.’ And then, he mustered all the saliva in his mouth and spit on my face. The door slammed behind it. Slowly, I unfolded atissue that was in my pocket, wiped what he had honored me with, and retreated down the stairs consoling myself. Allaah’s

Messenger – SAW – suffered more than this. They called him a liar, cursed him,stoned him with rocks and caused his feet to bleed. They broke his teeth and placed dung on his back and expelled him from his house.



*** Day after day. Month after month.No sign of Khalid. His father forbade him from leaving the house, even for the congregational prayer. He even forbade us from seeing or meeting him.We prayed for Khalid…Until we forgot about him. Years passed away.



One night, after the ‘Isha’ prayer, a shadow walked behind me in the Masjid and rested a familiar harsh hand on my shoulder. The same hand that held me years ago. The same face,the same wrinkles and the

same mouth that honored me with what I was not deserving of. But … something had changed. The savage face had shattered. The angry veins had subsided, belittled and still. The body looked tired of all the pain and conflict, weakened by sadness and grief. “How are you?” I kissed his forehead and welcomed him. We took a corner of the Masjid. He collapsed on my lap sobbing. Subhan Allaah, I never thought that that lion would oneday become a kitten. Speak up. What’swrong? How is Khalid?



‘Khalid!’ The name was like a dagger piercing his heart, twisting inside, and breaking off. His head slumped. ‘Khalidis no longer the same boy that you used to know. Khalid is no longer the generous, calm and humble young lad. ‘After he left your circle he befriended a pack of evil boys, ever since he was little he loved to socialize. They caught him at that time of life when a youth wants to leave the house. Vanity, jokes.’ ‘He began with cigarettes. I cursed him, beat him. But there was no use, his body had grown accustomed to the beatings, his ears were used to the curses.’ ‘He grew quickly.

He started staying up with them all night, not coming home until dawn. His school expelled him.’ ‘Some nights he would come home to us speaking abnormally, his face loose, his tongue confused, his hands shivering.’ ‘That body, which used to be strong, full, and tender, passed away. What remained was a feeble worn frame. That pure frosty face of his transformed. It became dark and filthy. The scum of misguidance and sinclung to it.’ ‘Those shy and simple eyes of his changed. They shot red like fire asif everything he drank or took showed immediately in his eyes like some sort ofpunishment, in this life before the next.’ ‘Hostility and disrespect replaced that shyness and cowardice he once knew. Gone was that soft, respectful young heart. In it’s place grew a hardened center, like a rock, if not harder.’ ‘Seldom a day would pass without incident. He would either curse, kick, or hit me.



Imagine it, my own son. I’m his father,yet he still hits me.’ After releasing all that, his eyes returned wet and bitter. But, he added quickly, ‘I beg you Salman, visit Khalid. Take him with you, you have my

blessing, the door is open.’ ‘Pass by him sometime. He loves you. Register him in the Qur’anic study circle. He could go with you on field trips. I have no objection. In fact, I am even willing to allow him to live in your homes and sleep over.’ ‘The important thing, Salman…the important thing is that Khalid returns to the way he was.’ ‘I beg you lad, I’ll kiss your hands, warm your feet, I beg you and beg you…’ He collapsed, crying and wheezing, into the memories of the grief and pain. I allowed him to complete everything he had to say. Then I addressed him… “Despite what has passed, let me try. Brother, you planted this seed. And thisis your harvest.”



The end!

Oce4gud: 225 nd u_ wsh state ar u frm. Wat do u think?

its a gud score,myn is 239:am 4rm bauchi state n u?

.Gud a.m api wknd awaiting continue......

Heard admsn is out bt dnt knw hw tru it is,any 1 wt any info?

Hashiya: Heard admsn is out bt dnt knw hw tru it is,any 1 wt any info?

u 4 once and 4 all check a.b.u website

Hashiya: Heard admsn is out bt dnt knw hw tru it is,any 1 wt any info?

its a lie cos i just check d official website nd notin lyk dat was dia... Waiting continues.

babatunde!!!! Abeg dey write short story, u dey chop space 4 dis trend

.color=#000099][/color]
stil waitin continues...may Allah c us 2ru... ur broda in toto!

Oce4gud: Any PHARMACY aspirants?

peace be unto all.am a PHARMANCY aspirants too

Oce4gud: I hv bin following dis trend bt decided to follow. Am frm imo state nd scored 225 as aggregate (PHARMACY) bt got admission in one polytechnic bt a frnd told me to wait 4 a.b.u pls fellow abusite advise me on wat to do since i don't hv anybody dia. Needs quick reply

I strongly advice u grab whatever u get first. If u miss it and miss out on ABU's list, sorry. If and when abu releases the list and your name is there u ve d privilege of choice . But if not it might be late 4 u to even regret. I ve scored an 'A' (71%) @ post ume b4 and didn't get my choice and my name didn't even come until third list when lectures had gone far and I had been offered admission at a cheaper school (unilag) which I turned down earlier and it was late 4 me 2 go back 4 it. Abum onye Mbieri, Mbaitoli . I ve a higher score than urs, but see my chance of making it as low. Though, I applied 4 law.

av b followin dis trend since bt i applied 4 accting tru ma d.e form n am also lukin 4 ma course mates

Khadija Mas'ud :
peace be unto all.am a PHARMANCY aspirants too

.peace be unto u 2 sister,khadija mas'ud i also applied phmcy n am 4rm bauchi state by name asiya farouk hassan.if u dnt mind we can b gud frnds snce we are going to b course mates soon inshaallh.so tell me abt u

Hollarbhessy: av b followin dis trend since bt i applied 4 accting tru ma d.e form n am also lukin 4 ma course mates

do u mean accounting, if it accounting then am ur course mate, add me on 2go (mrxela)

[quote
author=Hashiya].peace be unto u 2 sister,khadija mas'ud i also applied
phmcy n am 4rm bauchi state by name asiya farouk hassan.if u dnt mind we
can b gud frnds snce we are going to b course mates soon inshaallh.so
tell me abt u[/quote]ALHAMDULILLAH IT NICE MEETING YOU SIS.MY NAMES ARE KHADIJA MAS'UD KHALID FROM KADUNA STATE.

Nyc stuff

ofelix15: babatunde!!!! Abeg dey write short story, u dey chop space 4 dis trend

hahaha...lol. Bro me am just avin fun tryn to take my mynd off abu as much as possible...

Buc: I strongly advice u grab whatever u get first. If u miss it and miss out on ABU's list, sorry. If and when abu releases the list and your name is there u ve d privilege of choice . But if not it might be late 4 u to even regret. I ve scored an 'A' (71%) @ post ume b4 and didn't get my choice and my name didn't even come until third list when lectures had gone far and I had been offered admission at a cheaper school (unilag) which I turned down earlier and it was late 4 me 2 go back 4 it. Abum onye Mbieri, Mbaitoli . I ve a higher score than urs, but see my chance of making it as low. Though, I applied 4 law.

abum onye mgbidi,oru west, nice to meet u i tought am d only IMOLITE not knowing am not alone. Hw do we relate? Ndewo!!!

Well this is the last week of the anniversary so by next week monday or thereabout we will hear a very nyc news about the admission.so let expect the list btw 26th of this month

Hollarbhessy: av b followin dis trend since bt i applied 4 accting tru ma d.e form n am also lukin 4 ma course mates

I also applied accounting D.E & finished ma diploma dia..... Add me on 2go @asquare1

na wa o! Unto tribal tinx. Abeg any FULL BLOODED IDOMA(F.B.I)?

9ce mitin u pple sha n am aishah 4rum kwara state.

glycee: na wa o! Unto tribal tinx. Abeg any FULL BLOODED IDOMA(F.B.I)?

u funny.
I can be an Idoma, if u want me 2.

Yep, full blooded idoma girl. Right here!

Hollarbhessy: 9ce mitin u pple sha n am aishah 4rum kwara state.

am also frm kwara, irepodun local gvt an u?

A cosmic god had a horse. The
horse was beautiful and also it
had many good qualities. But it
wanted to be more perfect in
every way. It especially wanted to
become beauty unparalleled. One
day the horse said to the cosmic
god, “0 Lord, you have given me
beauty. You have given me other
good qualities. I am so grateful to
you. But how I wish you could
make me more beautiful. I would
be extremely, extremely grateful if
you could make me more
beautiful.” The cosmic god said, “I
am more than ready to make you
more beautiful. Tell me in what
way you want to be changed.”
The horse said, “It seems to me
that I am not well proportioned.
My neck is too short. If you can
make
my neck a little longer, my upper
body will be infinitely more
beautiful. And if you can make my
legs much longer and thinner,
then I will look infinitely more
beautiful in my lower body.” The
cosmic god said, “Amen!” Then
immediately he made a camel
appear in place of the horse. The
horse was so disheartened that it
started to cry, “0 Lord, I wanted to
become more beautiful. In what
way is this kind of outer form
more beautiful?” The cosmic god
said, “This is exactly what you
asked for. You have become a
camel.” The horse cried, “Oh no, I
do not want to become a camell I
wish to remain a horse. As a
horse, everybody appreciated my
good qualities. Nobody will
appreciate me as a camel.” The
cosmic god said, “Never try to
achieve or receive more than I
have given you. If you want to
lead a desire-life, then at every
moment you will want more and
more. But you have no idea what
the outcome will be. If you cry for
a longer neck and legs, this is
what will happen. Each thing in
my creation has its own good
qualities. The camel is not as
beautiful as you are, but it carries
heavy loads and has a
tremendous sense of
responsibility.