We were leaving in different towns because of our jobs.
Was romantic whenever we have time to be toghether, then baby came, then mother-in-law trouble (hubby's mum). The phrase "I love you" didn't come from any of us.

Now we are learning to build our marriage and keep 3rd parties (family included) at a SAFE distance... but it is hard because, here in Naija, the Man's family beleive that they bought the wife and they should treat her like a tool for thier use whenever they want.

1st year; more like a jambite who just gained admission into University.

@ shiloh, dis ur hubby ask u to resign/ or u did it willingly? i don think like d idea of my wife, just siting down at home. married guys say something ooooooo

Miss_Ife: I also had a guy who was after me and kind of proposed more or less at the same time as my hubby

[flash]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na_pwx3jUBs[/flash]

My 1st year was great with little or no quarrels(none that i can remember). Also got pregnant immediately after my wedding so things were really going as planned. Mom in law came in 2wks b4 i gave birth and her son had bought her a 4mths ticket(without informing me of the period). Even when i got to know, i didn't think it was too long a time to stay with us(even if i did, she was already with us). Did i mention we live outside 9ja and it was her 1st time travelling abroad. She came and was initially very nice only for her to also interrupt when we're discussing, wanting to know what/who we're talking about.

The most painful part came after i gave birth. They started talking about some type of sacrificial food i must eat because they are from a royal family(royal family without a palace/people)!! Guys, i almost lost it. The food had thais serious smell and was cooked without maggi/salt. She also said i musn't eat anyother thg for 1week. I suffered!! As a new mom(my mom had passed a yr before and my siblings all live in the US), it was really tough on me. I'd cry all day and she began acting funny because i objected to eating her concortion.

My hubby is the very loving type but unfortunately has never stood up to defend me in my presence. I stood my ground on this issue.

She later left 4mths later. 8mths later, his younger brother came to live with us. He's been here for 6mths now and after him i'm sure, another would be coming. Still,at the slightest quarrel, he claims it's my fault and starts calling all my siblings. In short, this 2nd yr is the worst. We used to be really close but i don't know what's been happening to us.

I'm fed up but what can i do? I'm not willing to leave cos i love him and i just must work towards the success of our mariage but i must admit, i'm no longer a happy person. If i had the ressources too, maybe i'd be a happier person.

In short, just for u all to knw that to every mariage, it's challenges. None is as perfect as it appears.

Jenny Agun: here in Naija, the Man's family beleive that they bought the wife and they should treat her like a tool for thier use whenever they want.

I think the husband should have a brain to tell them to piss off.

Tradition/culture my arse.

I dare anybody to come and try that shyt with me.

Jemibee:
The most painful part came after i gave birth. They started talking about some type of sacrificial food i must eat because they are from a royal family(royal family without a palace/people)!! Guys, i almost lost it. The food had thais serious smell and was cooked without maggi/salt. She also said i musn't eat anyother thg for 1week. I suffered!! As a new mom(my mom had passed a yr before and my siblings all live in the US), it was really tough on me. I'd cry all day and she began acting funny because i objected to eating her concortion.

My hubby is the very loving type but unfortunately has never stood up to defend me in my presence. I stood my ground on this issue.

[Shakes head]

Na tradition dem dey follow na.

I got married 4months ago and guys 4 d first few mnths,i tot i had married d wrong person.we had arguements every nw and then,it took great patience on my part 2 get along bt nw i can say we understand ourselves better and am glad dat i didnt marry d wrong person afterall.

Now you ladies are scaring me,I am a very 'lady hygiene' conscious person,I believe a woman should look,smell and even taste good all the time and so far,the longest duration i have co-habited with a lady is one week,after which I start getting restless and touchy,and now just thinking about the fact that these realities await you in the EARLY stage of marriage is scaring the crap out of me.
All the same keep it coming, guess i could learn a thing or two about patience and perseverance.

interesting topic- doesnt apply to me- havnt even had a one year "serious" relationship

Hmmmnnn, On January 2nd this year, Mr and Mrs Jarus marked their 1 year anniversary.

First one year was full of mixed feelings. First, our courtship was quite short, and add to that the fact that we were not living together in our first 6 months(she was in the middle of her NYSC when we did the Nikka, so had to go back to her state of posting) so she didnt really know me that much. So she spent few months getting to know me better. I wasn't actually as gentle as she thought. lol. But she later understood me more. When she was serving, I used to go visit her on weekends, and some other weekends, she did come to Lagos. The day I went to pick her after she passed out from NYSC was perhaps our happiest day.

Even with its lows, marriage is still very interesting and I realized I underrated it before. You have someone you share your problems with, things you can't tell your friends.
I wasn't exactly selective in foods before, but with a great cook as wife, I have become so used to great delicacies that I have begun to criticize (others') foods. lol

Add to that the jokes and pranks at home. Since I married, I have been closing timely (5pm) and dont go to work on weekends again.

Of course, there are low sides, very lowlights, but I wont mention that in public forum here. lol

She used to seriously complain about my NL addiction in our early months, including seizing my phones at times, but ever since I inducted here into NL, she is probably more present on NL(as unregistered guest, usually visiting family, health and sometimes politics) than me in the last few months. lol

But altogether, marriage is fantastic; of course, if you meet a great partner. We both learned a lot in the first year.

davidylan: threads like this are good for those of us on the sidelines. The only reason i havent married now is because of paralyzing fear . . . fear that i might make a mistake, fear that she may not be the one, that i may stop loving her after a few yrs.
I have learnt in the last couple of yrs that indeed no woman is perfect, that the type of woman we envision in our heads exists only in the realm of fantasy, that loving someone is not so much a feeling as it is a conscious decision, that you know you truly love a woman when she has the ability to change your outlook on life and you find yourself developing an uncommon patience for her many flaws, that communication is even more essential to a marriage than s[i]e[/i]x!

So in the interest of my mother's emotional stability, i have decided to be married in the next 18 months max.

Personally, I would not say I have a fear of marriage. I would rather say, I am comfortable being single.

I would do whatever I need to do to make sure my life is a happy one. And I will only change the current status if I see a woman that makes me judge being with her would make me happier than being single. Not because culture/society expects me to be married at a certain age or a girl I am seeing is desperate to get married.

Just saw US CBS news yesterday, only 49% of marriages survive beyond 20 years.

I would not waste my youth and be in my 40s wondering how I can get it back. I shall be a happy person for majority of the rest of my life, no compromising that. No plans to quarrel consistently or compromise on my lifestyle because of some silly vows. If I married someone, I am sure they would not be perfect, but hell, they have to be well-rounded and worthy of marriage based on personality, attraction and compatibility. Otherwise, for me, there is no point or sense in getting married when being single can give me happiness.

marriage don dey hungry me

My first week: I was busy blaming those who didn't attend the marriage ceremony.
Second week: I recalled that we received some envelops from people with money inside all of them.
Then I approached Mrs. Zuby who was in custody of the envelopes for us to check how rich we have become,
only to be told that the job has been done already by her and her mother.
The reason being that they didn't want to stress me by inviting me to count money. Igbo girls.

Third week: I was busy thinking about the best way to tell Mrs. Zuby to go back to her parents until she puts all the money back to the envelops exactly the way it was.
Fourth week: I devised a plan to make her pay for the petrol for our generator.
She likes electricity so much.
So I would check the generator every morning and each time the petrol was finished,
I would stay outside until 8pm, by then she must have called to remind me what I already know.
I would tell her to drive to the station and buy petrol.
The money from the envelop wass going down fast and she was complaining.

Aside this little envelop adventure, we were happy people

I ve been married for roughly a year now, and I must admit that it has really been difficult. Although we started dating just before she entered medical schl and hv been seeing once in a while since then: I am based far frm her schl. But suddenly the separation is driving me crazy and the strain is complicating matters for us, to the extent that the marriage is at the brink of collapse. But my wife seem not to understand the toll that the resultant stress has taking on me. Guess she s putting her career first.

davidylan: threads like this are good for those of us on the sidelines. The only reason i havent married now is because of paralyzing fear . . . fear that i might make a mistake, fear that she may not be the one, that i may stop loving her after a few yrs.
I have learnt in the last couple of yrs that indeed no woman is perfect, that the type of woman we envision in our heads exists only in the realm of fantasy, that loving someone is not so much a feeling as it is a conscious decision, that you know you truly love a woman when she has the ability to change your outlook on life and you find yourself developing an uncommon patience for her many flaws, that communication is even more essential to a marriage than s[i]e[/i]x!

So in the interest of my mother's emotional stability, i have decided to be married in the next 18 months max.

Ermm I have also decided to get married in the next 18 months max. . .so how ll it b ;DZ

davidylan: threads like this are good for those of us on the sidelines. The only reason i havent married now is because of paralyzing fear . . . fear that i might make a mistake, fear that she may not be the one, that i may stop loving her after a few yrs.
I have learnt in the last couple of yrs that indeed no woman is perfect, that the type of woman we envision in our heads exists only in the realm of fantasy, that loving someone is not so much a feeling as it is a conscious decision, that you know you truly love a woman when she has the ability to change your outlook on life and you find yourself developing an uncommon patience for her many flaws, that communication is even more essential to a marriage than s[i]e[/i]x!

So in the interest of my mother's emotional stability, i have decided to be married in the next 18 months max.

Ermm I have also decided to get married in the next 18 months max. . .so how ll it b. Hehehe

Jenny Agun: We were leaving in different towns because of our jobs.
Was romantic whenever we have time to be toghether, then baby came, then mother-in-law trouble (hubby's mum). The phrase "I love you" didn't come from any of us.

Now we are learning to build our marriage and keep 3rd parties (family included) at a SAFE distance... but it is hard because, here in Naija, the Man's family beleive that they bought the wife and they should treat her like a tool for thier use whenever they want.

'then mother-in-law trouble (hubby's mum)'. Why would it be only Hubby's mum that makes trouble?

ZUBY77: My first one week, i was busy blaming those who didn't attend the marriage ceremony.
Then the second week, i recalled that we recieved some envelops from people with money inside all of them. Then i approached mrs zuby who was in custody of the envelopes for us to check how rich we have beçome only to be told that the job has been done already by her and her mother. The reason being that they didnt want to stress me by inviting me to count money. igbo girls.

Third week, i was busy thinking about the best way to tell mrs zuby to go back to her parents until she puts all the money back to the envelops exactly the way it was.
Fourth week, i devised a plan to make her pay for the petrol for our generator. She likes electricity so much. So i will check the generator every morning and each time the petrol is finished, i will stay outside until 8am, by then she must have called to remind me what i already knew. And i will tell her to drive to the station and buy petrol. Now the money from the envelop is going down fast and she is complaining.

Aside this little envelop adventure, we are happy people.

I love your diary die, please post more this is the best thing i am reading todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
You should write a novel on this i am not joking at all

My first year of marriage was lovely, my eating habit changed a bit. From white garri to yellow, from mostly yoruba soups to ibo ones, rice washing, etc.

Having sex continously, the happinness when she missed her period. The sadness when she miscarried. It was a whirlwind thing. Not having your own space anymore.

No more constant clubbing and hanging out. Except fridays once a month. Reduced alchohol consumption.

Now five years in with a child it a little different abit relaxed. Added weight and more responsible. You tend to think of them more than yourself.

ZUBY77: My first one week, i was busy blaming those who didn't attend the marriage ceremony.
Then the second week, i recalled that we recieved some envelops from people with money inside all of them. Then i approached mrs zuby who was in custody of the envelopes for us to check how rich we have beçome only to be told that the job has been done already by her and her mother. The reason being that they didnt want to stress me by inviting me to count money. igbo girls.

Third week, i was busy thinking about the best way to tell mrs zuby to go back to her parents until she puts all the money back to the envelops exactly the way it was.
Fourth week, i devised a plan to make her pay for the petrol for our generator. She likes electricity so much. So i will check the generator every morning and each time the petrol is finished, i will stay outside until 8am, by then she must have called to remind me what i already knew. And i will tell her to drive to the station and buy petrol. Now the money from the envelop is going down fast and she is complaining.

Aside this little envelop adventure, we are happy people.

honestly you must be a character to be with, a funny one, mrs Zuby is lucky

.

Mine has been fun all the way. I'll be 3 yrs in marriage by Oct., never had any regret marrying my wife.

Evagreenfields:
Ermm I have also decided to get married in the next 18 months max. . .so how ll it b ;DZ
Ermm I have also decided to get married in the next 18 months max. . .so how ll it b. Hehehe

See as you take style dey enter the guy.
@topic,
I'm not married yet but when i do, it's gonna be cool the first year and ever after.

hmmmmm a lot to remember. mine was not fun at all partly becos we courted 'from far away'. he was in Abuja and i was in Lagos and i never visited him until we got married! so you can imagine the process of having to learn him. While i am a very independent minded, he is liked a docile woman; he liked outing, i was on the homeside. To make matters worse,his business took him away most of the time. So it was a case of learning each other afresh each time he is around. During the period i was like o[b]h gosh if this is marriage to hell with it. [/b. We argued and quarreled a lot. However, things gradually improved when i got pregnant and got better when i had our first baby girl. In fact i was really surprised at the role he played when during the period of delivery and its associated complications. He was by my side all through, saw him cry and pray dat i live. He refused to leave my side for the whole 2weeks at the hospital, barely eating. When baby and i arrived home dat was when love nwa tin tin started. He cared for baby like i ve never seen, changed pampers at night, carried baby when at home. Now both of us have matured in marriage and now am like gosh if this is what marriage is all about then am happy to be in. I learnt a lot in that first year and grew in a different way. Now each of us have come to realize that we ve been loved by the best and would not wish to settle for less

enjoying dis thread,am not married hopefully soonest sha kudos to all u dere.............

nnamen, any single nairalander, let do this this this easter, dis married people, have put me in the mood. mariage mood activated

sighs

marriage!!!

you see...why am scared of this thing called marriage? Av seen like 3 to 4 newlywed couples who fight like hell afta a year or two believe me this is scaring...but I think short courtship cause all these wahala of marriage cos both parties dont know each other well. 2years minimum serious courtship should be done before any marriage at least by then both of you would have known each other well at least. For me this is my third year in my courtship and i have been setting traps for her in different ways just to know who she really is, and to knw hw to handle things if things goes wrong in our marriage. I think she's okey for me sha...and i dont think i ll change her...kudos to u all

Timmmy: you see...why am scared of this thing called marriage? Av seen like 3 to 4 newlywed couples who fight like hell afta a year or two believe me this is scaring...but I think short courtship cause all these wahala of marriage cos both parties dont know each other well. 2years minimum serious courtship should be done before any marriage at least by then both of you would have known each other well at least. For me this is my third year in my courtship and [size=38pt]i have been setting traps for her in different ways[/size] just to know who she really is and to knw hw to handle things if things goes wrong in our marriage. I think she's okey for me sha...and i dont think i change her...kudos to u all

@dyt
is it wrong? Just want to knw what could tear us apart. Notin more

my first year of marriage was interesting cuz i really learnt a lot....we dated for 6 years b4 we got married (actually graduted from d same class in d uni)...but reality dawned after d honeymoon and we were back home...i realised that there is a difference btw she coming over 4 d weekend and staying wiv me 4eva...honestly there were times i felt i could ask her to go to their house for some weeks!...we argued and make up wiv s3x...it was fun all d same...we thought we new everything about each other, but d first year thot us we still have so many things 2 learn about ourselves....but we overcame it becos we were good friends...there was this particular night we woke up and argued on so many things ranging from our finances down to the socks!..we ended up drafting a constitution 4 d union!...nd we resolved that we should dialogue always no matter what...it is still working 4 us...we have a son now nd we haven't had cause to settle any issue out of our home or selves....