baldman:
I remember reading this thread during those years when I was to waiting to get married. So it is give back time. The first year of our marriage was a joyful one and full of blessings too. We went on honeymoon (Dubai) came back and I was able to buy a car for my wife. I also got assigned to a more favourable role at work. We conceived after exactly a month and we had sex almost every day of the pregnancy, until she had to travel to have the baby and we resumed as soon as I was able to join them up till the day before the baby was delivered. We were celibate until the wedding so this was so fulfilling. God blessed us with a bouncing baby boy and we have been back to love making since 13weeks after the baby. Our relationship has gotten better, we communicate well and neither of us has difficulty saying sorry. I do not want my wife to get mad and she avoids getting me mad too. To someone else, my wife may be such an incompetent wife and to another woman, I may be too finicky for a man but we have been ok with each other. She is fast settling down to the wife role and we are completely opened to each other about everything. God indeed answers prayers. I thank God I did not make the mistake of letting her go and I am trusting God to continue to help us.

Sagamite:


Men! Thank fcking God that I still STRICTLY live by this mantra.

teewhysafe:
Such a lovely thread. Thanks to all who shared. I learnt three major lessons: Patience, Perseverance & Prayer helps. Been so scared of marriage but due to societal pressure and expectations, I was almost about to just settle for the sake of being married. After reading all these, I choose to wait for God's will and I hope to share my story here soon.

Sagamite:


God forbid bad thing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhuuBh6-ego

Sagamite:


Personally, I would not say I have a fear of marriage. I would rather say, I am comfortable being single.

I would do whatever I need to do to make sure my life is a happy one. And I will only change the current status if I see a woman that makes me judge being with her would make me happier than being single. Not because culture/society expects me to be married at a certain age or a girl I am seeing is desperate to get married.

Just saw US CBS news yesterday, only 49% of marriages survive beyond 20 years.

I would not waste my youth and be in my 40s wondering how I can get it back. I shall be a happy person for majority of the rest of my life, no compromising that. No plans to quarrel consistently or compromise on my lifestyle because of some silly vows. If I married someone, I am sure they would not be perfect, but hell, they have to be well-rounded and worthy of marriage based on personality, attraction and compatibility. Otherwise, for me, there is no point or sense in getting married when being single can give me happiness.

nkemmu:
God when will You give me 'the first year of ma marriage story to tell'? with all these stories, i just fell like getting married.woow!!

bryanarchie:
My first year of marriage was horrible and filled with tears...

The marriage was built on a faulty foundation, went ahead against my gut feeling because of pleasing my parents and Society...

Two years down and I walked away because forever is a long time to be unhappy...

I'm done with love, relationships and marriage...

I truly loved him with every fiber of my existence...

Moving forward...


Love and marriage is wonderful with the right person...

bobobooge:


Would you love to share dear, strictly at your jurisdiction, exactly what went wrong.

I feel there will be something important to learn from you most especially for some of us who have that 'gut feeling' for our intended spouse.

Thanks

@ ur last sentence; I like how you still believe in love and marriage despite the odds.

bryanarchie:


Yeah... I definitely believe in love and If I can't get true love then let me die alone...

There were a lot of signs, so many but I chose to ignore...

I was the side chick that got pregnant...

baldman:
I remember reading this thread during those years when I was to waiting to get married. So it is give back time. The first year of our marriage was a joyful one and full of blessings too. We went on honeymoon (Dubai) came back and I was able to buy a car for my wife. I also got assigned to a more favourable role at work. We conceived after exactly a month and we had sex almost every day of the pregnancy, until she had to travel to have the baby and we resumed as soon as I was able to join them up till the day before the baby was delivered. We were celibate until the wedding so this was so fulfilling. God blessed us with a bouncing baby boy and we have been back to love making since 13weeks after the baby. Our relationship has gotten better, we communicate well and neither of us has difficulty saying sorry. I do not want my wife to get mad and she avoids getting me mad too. To someone else, my wife may be such an incompetent wife and to another woman, I may be too finicky for a man but we have been ok with each other. She is fast settling down to the wife role and we are completely opened to each other about everything. God indeed answers prayers. I thank God I did not make the mistake of letting her go and I am trusting God to continue to help us.

Jarus:
Hmmmnnn, On January 2nd this year, Mr and Mrs Jarus marked their 1 year anniversary.

First one year was full of mixed feelings. First, our courtship was quite short, and add to that the fact that we were not living together in our first 6 months(she was in the middle of her NYSC when we did the Nikka, so had to go back to her state of posting) so she didnt really know me that much. So she spent few months getting to know me better. I wasn't actually as gentle as she thought. lol. But she later understood me more. When she was serving, I used to go visit her on weekends, and some other weekends, she did come to Lagos. The day I went to pick her after she passed out from NYSC was perhaps our happiest day.

Even with its lows, marriage is still very interesting and I realized I underrated it before. You have someone you share your problems with, things you can't tell your friends.
I wasn't exactly selective in foods before, but with a great cook as wife, I have become so used to great delicacies that I have begun to criticize (others') foods. lol

Add to that the jokes and pranks at home. Since I married, I have been closing timely (5pm) and dont go to work on weekends again.

Of course, there are low sides, very lowlights, but I wont mention that in public forum here. lol

She used to seriously complain about my NL addiction in our early months, including seizing my phones at times, but ever since I inducted here into NL, she is probably more present on NL(as unregistered guest, usually visiting family, health and sometimes politics) than me in the last few months. lol

But altogether, marriage is fantastic; of course, if you meet a great partner. We both learned a lot in the first year.

Busybody2:
Twas just another box to tick on my "to do" list. Asides from the big responsibilities that mostly falls on the woman (juggling with dealing with the man-child and the children and trying to remember one also has a life), its no big deal, phew.

Now where is that list to review and get myself ready for what is next - bungeejumping

baldman:
I remember reading this thread during those years when I was to waiting to get married. So it is give back time. The first year of our marriage was a joyful one and full of blessings too. We went on honeymoon (Dubai) came back and I was able to buy a car for my wife. I also got assigned to a more favourable role at work. We conceived after exactly a month and we had sex almost every day of the pregnancy, until she had to travel to have the baby and we resumed as soon as I was able to join them up till the day before the baby was delivered. We were celibate until the wedding so this was so fulfilling. God blessed us with a bouncing baby boy and we have been back to love making since 13weeks after the baby. Our relationship has gotten better, we communicate well and neither of us has difficulty saying sorry. I do not want my wife to get mad and she avoids getting me mad too. To someone else, my wife may be such an incompetent wife and to another woman, I may be too finicky for a man but we have been ok with each other. She is fast settling down to the wife role and we are completely opened to each other about everything. God indeed answers prayers. I thank God I did not make the mistake of letting her go and I am trusting God to continue to help us.

baldman:
I remember reading this thread during those years when I was to waiting to get married. So it is give back time. The first year of our marriage was a joyful one and full of blessings too. We went on honeymoon (Dubai) came back and I was able to buy a car for my wife. I also got assigned to a more favourable role at work. We conceived after exactly a month and we had sex almost every day of the pregnancy, until she had to travel to have the baby and we resumed as soon as I was able to join them up till the day before the baby was delivered. We were celibate until the wedding so this was so fulfilling. God blessed us with a bouncing baby boy and we have been back to love making since 13weeks after the baby. Our relationship has gotten better, we communicate well and neither of us has difficulty saying sorry. I do not want my wife to get mad and she avoids getting me mad too. To someone else, my wife may be such an incompetent wife and to another woman, I may be too finicky for a man but we have been ok with each other. She is fast settling down to the wife role and we are completely opened to each other about everything. God indeed answers prayers. I thank God I did not make the mistake of letting her go and I am trusting God to continue to help us.

baldman:
I remember reading this thread during those years when I was to waiting to get married. So it is give back time. The first year of our marriage was a joyful one and full of blessings too. We went on honeymoon (Dubai) came back and I was able to buy a car for my wife. I also got assigned to a more favourable role at work. We conceived after exactly a month and we had sex almost every day of the pregnancy, until she had to travel to have the baby and we resumed as soon as I was able to join them up till the day before the baby was delivered. We were celibate until the wedding so this was so fulfilling. God blessed us with a bouncing baby boy and we have been back to love making since 13weeks after the baby. Our relationship has gotten better, we communicate well and neither of us has difficulty saying sorry. I do not want my wife to get mad and she avoids getting me mad too. To someone else, my wife may be such an incompetent wife and to another woman, I may be too finicky for a man but we have been ok with each other. She is fast settling down to the wife role and we are completely opened to each other about everything. God indeed answers prayers. I thank God I did not make the mistake of letting her go and I am trusting God to continue to help us.

serubawon:
I truly don't understand why I never find the wonderful threads like this one before they're a dozen pages into the game. Well, I guess it's better late than never.

Marriage is a beautiful thing and was created to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, a lot of people (young and old) tend to look forward to a romantic love story, which usually never happens. Put bluntly, marriage is like going to university or college. You strive to get into it. You enter it with a lot of awe and expectations and then reality sets in. If you don't study, you can't pass. The more effort you put into studying your course materials, the more prepared you are for the exams that definitely show up. Marriage is the same. You study, understand, adapt and it becomes more and more easier to relate with this person that you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

My 1st year of marriage wasn't perfect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so. She was beautiful, educated, independent and extremely smart. We courted for 3 years before we got married (that doesn't mean I'm endorsing long courtships). However, for the 1st time in my life, I made up my mind not to have s3x with my partner and it really helped us get to know each other without s3x being a big distraction. When we got married, I was so terrified that we might not be compatible s3xually because she was a virgin and I was the worst of the worst who had done almost everything under the sun. It was never a problem. We were made for each other and s3x was awesome. Most importantly, we were friends and could talk about anything. This helped us in averting the usual relationship strains because we could talk about them and iron things out. Being patient is maybe the most important part of a marriage, because no one is perfect. The 1st year was good, the 2nd year was better, the 3rd and 4th years were great and the 5th year was awesome. I'm pretty sure the 6th and remaining years would have been blissful, but unfortunately, she passed on to glory during the 6th year after a brief illness and the fairy tale came to an abrupt end. That was in 2004

I kind of lost all motivation for relationships after that. I have 2 wonderful kids from her and they are my soul and joy....the reason I live. I have a thread that details my experiences as a widower - https://www.nairaland.com/20511/adjusting-life-widower. I've also contributed on various threads on how wonderful my marriage was (https://www.nairaland.com/2598/tell-us-marriage/20).

Now, here I am...9 years later and I've finally found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's a survivor of a bad marriage and really messed up divorce. I guess God needed me to experience what a wonderful marriage can be like and then brought me in contact with a woman who never experienced one. She's like a wounded lion that has to be patiently brought back to recovery and I'm blessed to be the one to show her that happy marriages truly exist. The patience I've gained all through these years serves me so well now and we will be married early next year. I never thought that I would even feel love for another woman, but here I am 9 years later (a pretty long time to be prepared don't you think?).

All things work together for good, to them that love God and are called according to His purpose. I truly believe that and I've been given a second chance and I want to prove the pessimists wrong. Miracles can happen twice and you can actually have a wonderful marriage - twice in a row.

It takes a lot of patience and a lot of understanding (and love makes it a lot sweeter). I pray we all experience the joy of marriage.

Ishilove:

Beautiful story