Hello Nairalanders I have been on nairaland for a while I just don't post much. please help me I am so desperate right now. Yesterday I walked in on my husband kissing out nanny, and I have been so shocked and angry since then. I immediately fired the nanny and started packing my bags to go somewhere to think. He took all our car keys and dissapeared with the kids the whole day so I am still in our house. I am so numb I can't even say that I am in pain right now because I used to vouch for him as the faithful husband. I just want to go somewhere because I need space from him but he has locked us inside the house saying he needs me and he is sorry. He refuse to understand my plea for space saying he wants to be part of my healing, that he needs me and that he will commit suicide if I leave him. I feel so blackmailed, cos he says he will kill himself and the kids. At first I didn't care or believe him cos I have my own pain that he inflicted but I can't ignore him when he includes the kids. Shall I call the police on him for imprisoning us? Please advice me

mokatse: Hello Nairalanders I have been on nairaland for a while I just don't post much. please help me I am so desperate right now. Yesterday I walked in on my husband kissing out nanny, and I have been so shocked and angry since then. I immediately fired the nanny and started packing my bags to go somewhere to think. He took all our car keys and dissapeared with the kids the whole day so I am still in our house. I am so numb I can't even say that I am in pain right now because I used to vouch for him as the faithful husband. I just want to go somewhere because I need space from him but he has locked us inside the house saying he needs me and he is sorry. He refuse to understand my plea for space saying he wants to be part of my healing, that he needs me and that he will commit suicide if I leave him. I feel so blackmailed, cos he says he will kill himself and the kids. At first I didn't care or believe him cos I have my own pain that he inflicted but I can't ignore him when he includes the kids. Shall I call the police on him for imprisoning us? Please advice me

So, you've been locked up in your home since yesterday, your husband threatens to kill himself and the kids - and the first thing you think of is logging on to Nairaland??!!

My advice to you is to:

1. Logoff Nairaland

2. Call the police (if they'll respond)

3. Call your neighbours for immediate help

4. Call your family members for back-up.

Good Luck.

I was trying to get a solution that doesn't him humiliated, I've logged on with my cellphone. He might have hurt me deeply

but he has always been a good father en I know he loves them even if our marriage doesn't survive this. He is still my husband and the father of my kids so I need an amicable solution. I just can't of any right now cos I am confused, angry and hurt. So please advice me on what to do cos my rationale has left me completely

mokatse: I was trying to get a solution that doesn't him humiliated, I've logged on with my cellphone. He might have hurt me deeply

but he has always been a good father en I know he loves them even if our marriage doesn't survive this. He is still my husband and the father of my kids so I need an amicable solution. I just can't of any right now cos I am confused, angry and hurt. So please advice me on what to do cos my rationale has left me completely

??!!

Seriously girl, are you for real??!!

If what you say is true, do you not think the safety of your kids should be your number 1 priority? and not saving the face of your cheating spouse??

A good father WILL NOT threaten to take the life of his kids, no matter what. That my dear is the talk of someone in need of serious psychiatric help - all the more reason why people should be alerted to the situation. Believe me, this is no joking matter!

Can you live with yourself if any harm comes to your kids? You've been warned by him and yet you do nothing?? A word they say, is enough for the wise. Pls get help fast. I've told you what to do.

are u sure this isn't a cock n bull story

Now I know how the other Nlrs felt when they were desperate and seeking help from mature adults here and they get accused if creating sensation. Believe me I've been in nairaland for a long time to suddenly create stories of this magnitude! My husband cheated and when he got caught and realise that he can't say I am sorry to get things de way they used to be,he is threatening suicide and u tell me am creating stories!!!!!! Give me a break!

Where are the children now?

Wow. I so pity the nanny, sacked for "obeying" oga's command as I believe most probably that the op's husband might have threatened her with her job into fucking him. Poor girl is sacked now, no pay for nanny work, no pay for in-house whoring.

@OP, did you pay the nanny off before terminating her contract?you needed no second opinion on how to deal with the nanny who is a victim of circumstance but you do need a third and fourth opinion for your he- goat man? Please, call that nanny and settle her ie salary. No be she send you and your mkpi husband message.

Telling you this with my "soinday school" church mind.

You don't need help at all so log off nairaland and go act like the eediot you are.

No wait, on a second note you and your hoe of a husband need help. You are so concerned about saving your goatish husbands face than rescuing your kids from that sicko? you haven't seen your kids since when sef and you are here talking bull crap? See ehn, don't let me send you slap through the www.

You said he is still your husband and the father of your kids, ehnnn go and continue to husband him now, what are you doing here?

I agree with ify, hope you paid that nanny her salary? It's not her fault that your husband cannot seem to keep his third leg inside his trousers. He chose a nanny over you, that explains alot

Mscheewwwwwww

I think am going mad or something cos I never said de kids are not here. He left en came back yesterday with them. He just locked all of us in the house. I did pay the nanny but I wasn't willing to stay with her a moment more. As for her job security we are in south africa and she is south african and they know their rights a lot believe me so if he forced himself on her she would have called the police and have him arrested as well as taking us to unions, so no the nanny is not a victim here. As for hubby I am lost for words really. He is acting weired and desperate.

How did you catch them kissing? Did they not hear you coming or driving in? Your husband is a cheat, you cannot change that

Glad you clarified that because I too wondered if you would be posting here if he was holding your children and threatening their life.

Hopefully your husband said what he did without thinking and out of desperation. If he described in detail what he would do then I would take him seriously and call the police.

Also, I hope this business about being locked in the house is an exaggeration. You simply mean that he took your car keys so you can't drive. I'm sure you could walk away or find a driver.

If the real issue here is about how to deal with the cheating then you need to call your husband and talk it out. This issue of him kissing the nanny isn't enough to end your marriage over.

^^ Abeg e! It's not a real story jor! Just some Nollywood test script.

4hours 20 mins later and @poster never log off, dey try create sensation. Madam Mokatse, today na sunday, abeg go church, purge your mind 'n stop accusing your husband (if u really have one) of committing fantasy crimes.

It was in the morning, she was cleaning the tv room and hubby was going somewhere so I decided to come talk to him to leave the money for the kids's winter clothes so I went to look for him in the garage only to see that his car is still in and I heard the radio in the tv room so I thought he was there only to find them deep in a passionate kiss!

Efemena_xy: ^^ Abeg e! It's not a real story jor! Just some Nollywood test script.

4hours 20 mins later and @poster never log off, dey try create sensation. Madam Mokatse, today na sunday, abeg go church, purge your mind 'n stop accusing your husband (if u really have one) of committing fantasy crimes.

He did lock all of us in de house, including himself. I wasn't on nairalend de whole either I have been logging in and out. I just wanted advice from mature people before invoving my family on what to do cos he is really acting weired. I don't need dat much attention believe me I just need other woman's point of view dats all

mokatse:
He did lock all of us in de house, including himself. I wasn't on nairalend de whole either I have been logging in and out. I just wanted advice from mature people before invoving my family on what to do cos he is really acting weired. I don't need dat much attention believe me I just need other woman's point of view dats all

I think I'm begining to enjoy this:

First he locked you and the kids in the house

Then he comes back and locks only you in the house

And now he's locked just you and himself in the house

so, where are the fantasy kids??

I think you're a cold person. You're taking my pain en confusion as a joke. I said he locked us not me. He left yesterday with the kids so I couldn't leave them and I waited for him to come with them so that I can take them with. I am angry and hurt by my husbnd but I am not going anywhere without my kids ever! I am a little confuses en probably not making sense en u find it very funny. Go on laugh at my pain someday it will be you

I have always known that Nlrs are harsh that's why I hardly posted here but this situation is way above my head so I needed a good advice on getting hubby to calm down and stop talking unreasonable and I get its your fault and you're creating a story. Well thanx for your help

The story happened yesterday and whilst she was still in shock (hubby was the faithful type whom she used to vouch for), her hubby took the kids in panic and disappeared with them for the whole day.

He came back with them yesterday and has been begging you since and cos you refused, he locked you all in ythe house and has threatened to kill himself and the kids.

The poster's mind has every right to be in disarray, FILICIDE IS REAL.

OP, I would report him if I were you.

The story happened yesterday and whilst she was still in shock (hubby was the faithful type whom she used to vouch for), her hubby took the kids in panic and disappeared with them for the whole day.

He came back with them yesterday and has been begging you since and cos you refused, he locked you all in ythe house and has threatened to kill himself and the kids.

The poster's mind has every right to be in disarray, FILICIDE IS REAL.

OP, I would report him if I were you.

mokatse: I think you're a cold person. You're taking my pain en confusion as a joke. I said he locked us not me. He left yesterday with the kids so I couldn't leave them and I waited for him to come with them so that I can take them with. I am angry and hurt by my husbnd but I am not going anywhere without my kids ever! I am a little confuses en probably not making sense en u find it very funny. Go on laugh at my pain someday it will be you

On the contrary, I'm not a cold person at all - read through my postings

but you're story doesn't tie up. Re-read what you've been telling us. It seems to get even more comical with each posting.

I think this thread should be moved over to the Jokes Section, so that we can get on with helping REAL people with REAL problems.

Enough said.

**Besides, you've got smileys in your posts. If this matter were true you won't find it funny, will you?**

@Busy_Body, I hear what you say but c'mon - nearly 5 hours later and madam Mokatse still dey online soliciting for advice??

Since am using my fone I don't even know how those smileys en up there at all, but its fine have a laugh at my expense. @ busybody thanx that's what I have been trying to say all along but I wasn't making sense.

[b][/b]@ Poster, since he has allowed you access to your phone. Isn't there any close family member you can call /text, at least if someone comes over to the house, he will be forced to open the door[color=#006600][/color]

@OP, are you sure it was a kiss and not a peck you saw?

Which nationalities are you and your husband?

I don't think your husband is serious about the suicide stuff etal, he is only using that to hold you ransome and ease the guilt.

Can you start by calling your husband?call and invite him home for a serious talk. He needs to accept he hurt you, repent of his cheating ways, apologize sincerely, you guys review the marriage rules then you decide if the marriage is worth staying in. . .

You might also consider telling another trusted but sane soul about this murder threat, just in case. Your mom or a long standing family lawyer should know, just for records sake.

Thank you to those who provided solution to my predicament, my hubby's friend passed by and found us with our situation, he spoke to him and made hik understand that I need time and space to work things through in my head. I am now at the lodge with the kids and I will take them to the day mother tomorrow when I go to work and ask for leave if they can give me. I am from Lesotho and he is Nigerian. We have been married for 9 years have two kids aged, 4 and 2, thanx again for understanding when I was so confused and senseless

Efemena_xy:

On the contrary, I'm not a cold person at all - read through my postings

but you're story doesn't tie up. Re-read what you've been telling us. It seems to get even more comical with each posting.

I think this thread should be moved over to the Jokes Section, so that we can get on with helping REAL people with REAL problems.

Enough said.

**Besides, you've got smileys in your posts. If this matter were true you won't find it funny, will you?**

@Busy_Body, I hear what you say but c'mon - nearly 5 hours later and madam Mokatse still dey online soliciting for advice??

Efemena, people being unable to log off or logging off yet still "showing" online is one of the bugbear currently affflicting NL2, as well as errant cursor affecting proper posting of smileys and I bet its being worked on .

madam BB,

trust u to always provide clarity in stories.

where have u been?

Dear Poster, take heart it is well ok? I don't know why some
people here are just not sympathetic to the plight of others
just because they haven't been in that situation before
themselves, there's no telling how they would respond if put
in that situation. You have every right to seek advice from
nairaland and you don't have to justify that to anybody here.
I wish you the best, try to talk things out with him but
you are ready and get people you trust like your mum or a
friend to confide in before that in case he tries anything
funny. All the best dear.

forgive him. he knows d gravity of wht he did. just keep mute and ur finger crossed. pray to God for peace in ur home. a wise woman builds her own house but a fool pulls it down by her own hand. be wise!

@Poster, every man, no matter what we profess, has a polygamous instinct. We all just subdue it to varying degrees through whatever mean, &for whatever reason. But despite all efforts some still fall under its influence.

Forgive your husband, love him still (at least out of responsibility): at least he still loves you. Let your arms be availabe for him always
Do all you can not to break your marriage cos of the incident. Cos if not you'd lose him to same nanny or any other woman at that

Sorry OP if we hadn't taken u serious.

I would say u shouldn't push ur hubby further away. Though I think dat suicide rubbish is just a way of manipulating you into accepting him back.

Why can't he apologise? Just watch and keep mute. Go about ur business like say nufin happened and letz see how he would react. His reaction will tell you alot.

If he tries to bring back d issue, den he myt be sorry and looking @ making amends but if he doesn't say anything and moved on like nifin happened, then u should be ready for trouble cos def more is coming.