A God-centered relationship (born again relationship)cannot be romantic because having some feelings for the opposite sex is described as lust in the Bible.
Some of the relationships are not based on natural love and so cannot be romantic.

GboyegaD:

So what make you think those who were able to lead a godly relationship are self hypocrites?

Even if you manage to lead a godly relationship, you still end up looking like a hypocrite. Why?

Because the bible loves incest! Abraham married his half sister, Sarah. Reuben slept with his father's concubine and Isaac married his first cousin!

Bonus; The wisest man in the bible had 700 wives, is that Godly?

logicboy:

That's where you fail. You think that because I am an atheist, I'm a sex addict? I am a virgin (although I do a lot of touching)!

So many christians lie about their sexual activities that I doubt most of them when they claim to be chaste. I personally caught a christian borther watching gay porn. See how he was begging me not to tell anyone

Am disappointed in you. You are a virgin yet call other virgins hypocrites, what then are you if not a supper hypocrite. That a supposed christian sinned does not mean every other christian sins. I taught ur name is Logic?

It is a sad thing that christians of this generation find it hard to stand and walk in the truth they profess. A christian courtship is a relationship between two geniuine children of God patterned according to His commands and expected to lead to marriage. Sex does not bring intimacy, it rather destroys it. I courted for 4years and 4months without sex. It did not happen by a mere wish but by discipline. Set the rules according to the scriptures, stick to them.

Alumnus: Am disappointed in you. You are a virgin yet call other virgins hypocrites, what then are you if not a supper hypocrite. That a supposed christian sinned does not mean every other christian sins. I taught ur name is Logic?

No, I only have problems with people who lie about their virginity. I'm just a young adult and I expect more maturity from married men (not being married myself)

For more light into a godly relationship/courtship you can read this book Boy meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris.

@EyenCalabar.
I think 10yrs is too long to be in a relationship that will leads to marriage! It is better if a courtship is not too long to avoid falling into fornication. If the reason they are yet to marry is lack of fund for the marriage ceremony, have they consider the possiblity of going to their Pastor for marriage blessing with just two witnesses present? I know that our society too is not helping matter because people will expect them to do big wedding.

Pls encourage them to get married legally asap so as to avoid 'doing it' or what do you want to tell them again after 10yrs plus relationship?

On your second question; Yes,God is not happy when you ''take this fruit'' before marriage. Remember, He is holy and He wants us to be holy too. Nevertheless,He is a gracious God and full of mercy, if you ask for forgiveness,He will forgive you,but do not fall back into the same sin again.

Your 3rd question is kinda tricky. Actually, 'proper' marriage is when 2 opposite sex people are legally joined together. Now this is the tricky part; there are different types of marriages, Traditional, Religious(Christian/Muslim) and Court marriages. You can be join under any of them. Mind you,it is only Religious and Court that issue marriage certificate which you may need in the future and also for documentation purposes.
Let me give you a practical example, from the part of the country where i came from, you can do traditional marriage just make sure your Pastor is present to bless the union and you can go to court for marriage cert. You can see that it is a combination of two methods.

Your 4th question is funny ooh. I dont really understand what you mean by ''highest sin''. Sin is sin,it has no degree or class before God. There are many sins and yes,fornication is one of them.

Concerning the 5th question,i wish i can make it sound nicer than this,but YES, we are under the law of ''not to do it'' before marriage.

Hope i have not bored you with plenty story?

@ Logicboy

I think you need to appreciate that people are posting experiences and agreeing to obeying God for their own good. Nobody is claiming puritan here.

If someone starts quoting the bible like he knows it you'll probably shut your mind cos it sounds like laws not applicable to daily practice. But here are you and bugel abi wetin be im name, misquoting bible stories out of context with no care of distinguishing exemplary people from the wrong ones.

I will tell you what has kept me a virgin for more than 3 decades. I keep asking myself: Do I want to be submitted to the ways of God in the midst of any circumstances? Some people can handle sexual temptation but money and influence is another kettle of fish. The devil has a package for everybody.

If anyone wants to be submissive to God in any matter ask for help: God, the word, the sages etc

My story: I was in stuff in my units age, but God kept me in my teenage and 20s. I see the reality outside and it is obvious that bleeping is as close as being in the mind without being with a babe sef or if it must be really, just take the lead. All this God has helped me take care of because I wanted him to help me take care of it. Maybe moreso because I have also successfully occupied myself with stuff and God helped me train my mind.

Your partner will not be of any help. You will have to decide for yourself and be able to discern if he/she is really sorry if something goes wrong.

Yeah, I had a girlfriend that tried to use subtlety to get me into bed (I'm lonely!). Another dared me (be a man!). The choice you make in that moment of truth defines who you had always really been.

God Bless the OP. I remember cutting off my first closest female friend at the Uni cos She was desperate for sex. For one to stand against the pressure to go the popular way, I believe It'll be more of a sound personal conviction and the Grace of God, otherwise u'll join the bandwagon of those who say it can't be done. Thank God that years after that experience am still standing stronger, happier and in a more purposeful relationship. It gives one the opportunity to mix freely with the opposite sex without suspicions by your partner. Now I use my experience to encourage younger ones arround me that IT IS POSSIBLE.

1Co 10:12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

“Those that say it can’t be done should get out of the way of those doing it”. (Chinese Proverb)

My own coin, wats so special about sex dt 2 people can nt wait until marriage. GOD has rules marriage is he's idea likewise SEX. He God design us 2 b sexually attractd 2 people but u knw u can not marry all d people u are sexually attractd 2. In God's mind sex is not bad but d timing of sex makes it bad. Sex outside marriage is SIN. As a young preacher of 26 i have had dis experience wit this beauty while in school she kind of became touchy evry now n them i watchd it becos 4 me i hav pray 2 God, NO SEX till marriage becos of my destiny as a preacher i have let that babe go because i do not want 2 mess up. Do i have sexual urge YES i do some times so strong as if i should cosume a babe at once but i have learnt to kip mybody and not let flesh rule over me. @26 i have never kissed a girl n have never been intimate at all i am ok in all ramifications of lyf. Sex outside marriage does not add 2 ur life rather it takes away from u. Yes God centered rlationship exist. Wy would u want 2 mess up urself and call it fun. Pls if any1 is doing dat pls stop d sex thing. Relationship is not built on sex either marriage. GOD loves u

Once dated this chick that always got born again anytime fornication was preached in church, she would come back and say no more. At first I used to cajole and persuade until I learned a new trick, just let her own hormones do the deed. I ignored until of course the begging point always comes. good old days, I can almost see my face grinning in the dark and asking "Are you sure the lord will not be angry at us"

Good ole days!

^^^^^^^ Lmao
Lord have mercy on you

subscribing to this thread
It is not impossible to stay off s*x in a relationship
set your mind towards it, ask the Lord for strength and it is achievable trust me altho difficult

JeSoul: Mazaje thank you as always.

At atheists on this thread, do not crash or derail the topic. I don't know why you guys always see the need to crash christian topics without disruptive comments. If you have nothing to contribute to the topic, its not by force to post, go and make your own topic.

any repeat trouble makes should expect a ban. Thanks.

---

@David, can you clarify, what sort of examples do mean?

Odi Kwa Serious!I know your type is just to keen on this kind is topic,just to learn all the tricks and hooks on how to do god and at the same time,man.

I personally think god fearing relationship is naive, more like child's play.The people involve are not too certain of what they want and how to go about it.

It feels so whole when you make the rules.

U want 2 sit on delilah's lap n expct d blesins of Abraham?
Dnt hv a personaly exprnc,bt i knw wit God evrytin is posible

mennnnn once you've awakened some desires they're hard to ignore, but that is only if you're trying to do things by your strength. . .I believe if you can truly get to that point where you acknowledge your weakness and rely totally and God you'll be fine as far as sex is concerned.

In all other aspects I think a godly relationship isn't much different from any other, although I think you tend to get hurt more because you've had to find other(possibly deeper) ways to bond with the person outside of sex.

@david
nice thread. . .dont know how to handle the part about you being the spiritual head as well o. . .any tips?

Am LEARNING! I beg to LEARN more! Cuz b4 d end of ma service year or after, i may venture into a relationship! Although, am afraid!
WHY?
During ma university days, i once was in a relationship wich i was seduced into bcuz d young lady wanted to use me as her school assignment or project writer! We were in d same department n i was in ma final year, 1st semester while she was a diploma studnt. Since d foundatn of d relatnship was seductn, (nt SEX bt swit words n feigned care. Even before i wooed her, as she wanted, she wud alow me hold her by d waist, touch her by her laps while we spoke) one month into d relatnship, i wanted SEX! But she startled me. . . (we were both christian members of different feloships, bt unserious christians) she refused! Nt even a kiss! Infact all those touchings n hand or waist holdings, she disalowed! Even a peck or hug was a no go area! It was after a waking up of ma senses n wat she needed n was using me for that i realised dat i've gone out of normalcy n was doing her will. So i called it off!
Now am serving n thankGod for His grace upon ma life dat am close to Him n i wish to get closer evryday.
NOW MY FEAR
Am afraid dat i may nt be able to kip to "no sex b4 marriage" wen i enta a relatnship dat'l surely lead to marriage dis time. I trust God will help me stay strong inclusive of wat i've learnt here 2day! Thats why b4 now, my resolve is to get married as soon as i find her n nt stay long dating or courtship or find or meet her quickly so dat i won't fall into d temptatn of fornicatn with any other...

B4 I became born again. I believe God deposited the gift of seeing the future through dreams in me. During my NYSC,as camp was on,I had a dream of a white snake lying on the same bed with me. So i cut any attachments with girls on camp. I was still struggling with an addiction to marijuana then and trying to live right,but things were real difficult for me,trying to reconcile my christian background and happening guy orientation.

I was posted to Eket. Met a fair lady and I fell in lust immediately,bare in mind I left the north a proper mess of sin. So it was not long b4 the demons of lust began to fill my mind. Funny enough the day I first met her, she addressed as me 'otondo' and she was dressed in some tight jeans. I thought in my mind that here's 1 'whoski' babe,it was later when I tracked her that she told me she was a born again christian.

JeSoul: Mazaje thank you as always.

At atheists on this thread, do not crash or derail the topic. I don't know why you guys always see the need to crash christian topics without disruptive comments. If you have nothing to contribute to the topic, its not by force to post, go and make your own topic.

any repeat trouble makes should expect a ban. Thanks.

---

@David, can you clarify, what sort of examples do mean?

Your threat above is immature and it shows you as a very bias moderator. When self righteous "born again" Christians troll every atheist thread, you do not threatened them with ban. They troll threads by satanists, Catholics, amorc, and even Muslim threads, you are happy with it. But once an atheist comments on a born again topic, you start fuming and threaten with ban and maybe hell fire.

Learn to become tolerant of other people's views.

As for the topic, in modern civilization, there is nothing like god centred relationship, a relationship should be based on love, tolerance and respect. And sèx is a very important part of it. I doubt there would be any relationship in the first place if there is no sexual attraction involved. The problem is if the sole aim of the relationship is selfish sexual satisfaction instead of the satisfaction of both parties.

I am surprised at the energy and importance self righteous people place on other peoples private séxual lives. If that amount of energy is expended on helping others in need, in fighting and discouraging corruption, dishonesty, hypocrisy, etc, then the society would be a much better place.

The main problem in Nigeria today is greed, avarice, sheer wickedness any body in authority including the clergy, and not who is having séx with whom

I challenge self righteous born agains to provide me with statistics that shows "god centred romantic relationships" succeed better than those of others, is the divorce rate of god centred marriages less than those of non believers? There are many GO's that have divorced and remarried, so many are engaged in extra marital affairs within their marriages.

So please provide us with proof that "god centred relationships" succeeds better than others.

i was thinking of marriage then(still single now).so I made the approach,the relationship began and it was stormy,cos we were both stubborn. We both stuck to our guns till august after a can of guiness(as I recall) and I began to psych up about sex. The 1st day we were alone in her room,she gave me a hug from behind and I was convinced we would be intimate,it happened 2 weeks b4 my discharge.
Advice: just like others have noted the way you act is important during courtship,dressing,meetings,conversations matter.
After my service year,I became properly born again and I had to dissolve the affair and the dream I had at the start of my service year made sense. I believe spiritual folks know how important it is to marry aright.so that's my story.

wirinet:

Your threat above is immature and it shows you as a very bias moderator. When self righteous "born again" Christians troll every atheist thread, you do not threatened them with ban. They troll threads by satanists, Catholics, amorc, and even Muslim threads, you are happy with it. But once an atheist comments on a born again topic, you start fuming and threaten with ban and maybe hell fire.

Learn to become tolerant of other people's views.

As for the topic, in modern civilization, there is nothing like god centred relationship, a relationship should be based on love, tolerance and respect. And sèx is a very important part of it. I doubt there would be any relationship in the first place if there is no sexual attraction involved. The problem is if the sole aim of the relationship is selfish sexual satisfaction instead of the satisfaction of both parties.

I am surprised at the energy and importance self righteous people place on other peoples private séxual lives. If that amount of energy is expended on helping others in need, in fighting and discouraging corruption, dishonesty, hypocrisy, etc, then the society would be a much better place.

The main problem in Nigeria today is greed, avarice, sheer wickedness any body in authority including the clergy, and not who is having séx with whom

I challenge self righteous born agains to provide me with statistics that shows "god centred romantic relationships" succeed better than those of others, is the divorce rate of god centred marriages less than those of non believers? There are many GO's that have divorced and remarried, so many are engaged in extra marital affairs within their marriages.

So please provide us with proof that "god centred relationships" succeeds better than others.

my dear, the statistics ur asking for has been published years ago but since it is not in arithmetics many people didn't read it and some that read it didn't understand nor believe it. Its published in simple grammar with several hidden meanings. Care to take ur time to read but you must know the Author and the Finisher of it to understand it otherwise, u may find it confusing and conflicting. Am talking about the Bible. Cheers!!!

Alumnus: my dear, the statistics ur asking for has been published years ago but since it is not in arithmetics many people didn't read it and some that read it didn't understand nor believe it. Its published in simple grammar with several hidden meanings. Care to take ur time to read but you must know the Author and the Finisher of it to understand it otherwise, u may find it confusing and conflicting. Am talking about the Bible. Cheers!!!

Dear, I would not mind you providing me with the non-arithmetic statistic and its hidden meanings of examples of couples that had successful god centred relationships in the Bible.


Thanks in advance.

i realy wish i had s.ex free rltnshps.am no s.ex freak,yet i find myself havin it 4d sake of havin it.aftwards,i feel shame,disgust,n too dirty 2 come b4 God.cnt wait 2get married so i can enjoy sx for once.

wirinet:

Your threat above is immature and it shows you as a very bias moderator. When self righteous "born again" Christians troll every atheist thread, you do not threatened them with ban. They troll threads by satanists, Catholics, amorc, and even Muslim threads, you are happy with it. But once an atheist comments on a born again topic, you start fuming and threaten with ban and maybe hell fire.

Learn to become tolerant of other people's views.

As for the topic, in modern civilization, there is nothing like god centred relationship, a relationship should be based on love, tolerance and respect. And sèx is a very important part of it. I doubt there would be any relationship in the first place if there is no sexual attraction involved. The problem is if the sole aim of the relationship is selfish sexual satisfaction instead of the satisfaction of both parties.

I am surprised at the energy and importance self righteous people place on other peoples private séxual lives. If that amount of energy is expended on helping others in need, in fighting and discouraging corruption, dishonesty, hypocrisy, etc, then the society would be a much better place.

The main problem in Nigeria today is greed, avarice, sheer wickedness any body in authority including the clergy, and not who is having séx with whom

I challenge self righteous born agains to provide me with statistics that shows "god centred romantic relationships" succeed better than those of others, is the divorce rate of god centred marriages less than those of non believers? There are many GO's that have divorced and remarried, so many are engaged in extra marital affairs within their marriages.

So please provide us with proof that "god centred relationships" succeeds better than others.

Dont mind them oo!

Lets look at facts;

Gay divorce rates are lower than heterosexual divorce rates in the UK and USA-
http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2011/07/06/divorce-rates-lower-in-states-with-same-sex-marriage
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2011/09/27/UK_Straight_Divorce_Rate_Outstrips_Gay_Dissolutions/

this thread is an eye opener. I am a Muslim and I dont like it when others(especially Christians) try to tell us how things should be done. I mean, trying to judge our ways by their own perception /religious doctrine and so, I wont be doing same.

Am baffled however that a God-centered relationship involves touching, kissing etc. I was expecting such relationships to be devoid of those.

I also find it odd that many people talk of laying down rules. Except that the people involved are kids, everyone should already know what is right and keep away from them. Are those rules such as, 'we could kiss but nothing much'?, in which case, it would make more sense to me.

Generally, it is very possible to not be intimate before marriage. Be true to yourself and what you want to achieve and do it for the right reasons.

obamamate: God is not a liar,
You can be romantic without sex.Infact romance without sex is more matured
It is really not easy to be chaste in a courtship, but it is possible.
You have to make rules.
Mine was never to stay indoors with my fiance alone with doors closed.
We always arranged our meetings outside, parks, eateries etc.
RememberMary/Joseph werec courting before Jesus was borne

That is how i courted and married in a God-centred relationship and now my wife says she does not like sex and we are locked in a sexless marriage..if i have to advice anyone..please forget all this rubbish and confirm sexual compatibility or else you might just find yourself in my situation (don't laugh at this please, mine is a true story)

o.obim:
i realy wish i had s.ex free rltnshps.am no s.ex freak,yet i find myself havin it 4d sake of havin it.aftwards,i feel shame,disgust,n too dirty 2 come b4 God.cnt wait 2get married so i can enjoy sx for once.

Even if you get involved in it, don't give in to self-codemnation because it will do more harm to you. Accept that the deed has been done and ask God to forgive you and give you the grace to move on without wavering in your quest to please in that your relationship. Just be sincere and honest and also identify and catch those little foxes that spoil the vine.

It baffles me to see that most, if not all people think godly romance only means no sex. Godly relationship goes beyond no sex. The fact that a relationship is non-sexual does not automatically translate to godly relationship. There are many non-sexual relationship that are ungodly. A godly relationship is one in which Christ is the centre of the relationship. It is a relationship in which both partners learn to love each other and love God and put Him first in all decisions. It is one in which both partner help each other towards spiritual maturity. One of the characteristics of godly relationship is that there is no sex before marriage.

finallytalking:
That is how i courted and married in a God-centred relationship and now my wife says she does not like sex and we are locked in a sexless marriage..if i have to advice anyone..please forget all this rubbish and confirm sexual compatibility or else you might just find yourself in my situation (don't laugh at this please, mine is a true story)

Sorry for your experience. Actually, those things happen. I have read of cases in which the woman has been the complainant too. Have you gone for counselling? I also believe prayer changes things (including issues concerning sexuality). Moreover, you have to make her live in the mood all day because female psycho-sexual nature is different from male's.

x-fire:
It baffles me to see that most, if not all people think godly romance only means no sex. Godly relationship goes beyond no sex. The fact that a relationship is non-sexual does not automatically translate to godly relationship. There are many non-sexual relationship that are ungodly. A godly relationship is one in which Christ is the centre of the relationship. It is a relationship in which both partners learn to love each other and love God and put Him first in all decisions. It is one in which both partner help each other towards spiritual maturity. One of the characteristics of godly relationship is that there is no sex before marriage.

Absolutely correct. And to add to your view, marriage is not all about sex.

finallytalking:
That is how i courted and married in a God-centred relationship and now my wife says she does not like sex and we are locked in a sexless marriage..if i have to advice anyone..please forget all this rubbish and confirm sexual compatibility or else you might just find yourself in my situation (don't laugh at this please, mine is a true story)

1corinthians7 vs 5 is something you as a couple must consider,harm's way you are in,my brother. If ur story persists then the devil is running your home.

fleps: Am LEARNING! I beg to LEARN more! Cuz b4 d end of ma service year or after, i may venture into a relationship! Although, am afraid!
WHY?
During ma university days, i once was in a relationship wich i was seduced into bcuz d young lady wanted to use me as her school assignment or project writer! We were in d same department n i was in ma final year, 1st semester while she was a diploma studnt. Since d foundatn of d relatnship was seductn, (nt SEX bt swit words n feigned care. Even before i wooed her, as she wanted, she wud alow me hold her by d waist, touch her by her laps while we spoke) one month into d relatnship, i wanted SEX! But she startled me. . . (we were both christian members of different feloships, bt unserious christians) she refused! Nt even a kiss! Infact all those touchings n hand or waist holdings, she disalowed! Even a peck or hug was a no go area! It was after a waking up of ma senses n wat she needed n was using me for that i realised dat i've gone out of normalcy n was doing her will. So i called it off!
Now am serving n thankGod for His grace upon ma life dat am close to Him n i wish to get closer evryday.
NOW MY FEAR
Am afraid dat i may nt be able to kip to "no sex b4 marriage" wen i enta a relatnship dat'l surely lead to marriage dis time. I trust God will help me stay strong inclusive of wat i've learnt here 2day! Thats why b4 now, my resolve is to get married as soon as i find her n nt stay long dating or courtship or find or meet her quickly so dat i won't fall into d temptatn of fornicatn with any other...

With you, it's highly impossible, but with God, all things are possible. Hold on to your profession of faith and God will give you the grace. It's not easy sometimes but I know that God helps people who rely on Him.