Guys check out this jokes they were forwaded to me.
Enjoy!

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife
dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she
purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

**************************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the
driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door
and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your
bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack,
beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she
said. "Just get out."

**************************************************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right, and the other is a husband.

**************************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a
driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

**************************************************

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said
to them,

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of
gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so
tired of chardonnay."

**************************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!
TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE
are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to
STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them!
Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong
with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple
of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you
what it feels like when I'm driving."

Nice

lol

Aggie wat a name

and what if i refuse to laugh with you

Blew my top with the Polish guy joke. that was off the hook! great jokes Aggie. Nice to meet u.

could do better

@topic, crack my ribs.
@naijagurly, you mean worse, dont u.

nice!