By Femi Aribisala


I was a loving husband until I became a "born again" Christian.Then I discovered certain things written by Paul in the bible appointing me the head of my wife.I eagerly accepted the appointment. Jesus reveals that the worst kind of evil is the one which is presumed to have a religious sanction. I might be a murderer but in my heart-of-hearts I know it is wrong to kill.However, if the church convinces me that by killing men I am doing the work of God, then I can kill with gusto and without any conscience.


Paul say: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Even though this is addressed to wives and not to husbands, it was music to my ears.I thanked God that he deemed it fit to make me head and not tail.As far as I was concerned, it gave me the divine sanction to lord it over my wife. Those who know my wife will immediately recognise that such presumed lordship would be fiercely contested.It took a few battle-scars and the tutelage of the Holy Spirit for me to recognise this scripture which gave me putative authority over my wife "in everything" is morally and spiritually bankrupt.

Pauline fallacy

In classically Pauline fashion, the scripture is full of inherent contradictions.Christian wives cannot say Jesus is Lord on the one hand (I Corinthians 8:6); and say husband is Lord on the other.Jesus says: "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other." (Matthew 6:24).It is fundamentally irreverent for Paul to ascribe equal status to the husband "as to the Lord" in the life of the wife.

Paul says: "I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." (I Corinthians 11:3).This is preposterous.It is not only unscriptural, it is unworkable.In the Old Testament, Deborah was a judge in Israel. (Judges 4:4-7).This made her the head of all the men by divine sanction. Today, let a man go and work in Nigeria's Ministry of Finance and tell the female Minister; Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, that "the head of woman is man."He will not last on the job.

Jesus would never make the man the head of the woman.That would displace God; the one and only head Jesus prescribes for everybody.Indeed, Jesus does not give authority to a man over another human-being.He says to his disciples: "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you." (Matthew 20:25-26).The only authority Jesus gives his disciples is over demons: "I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you." (Luke 10:19).

Matrimonial dictatorship

Paul is in error and he leads many Christian men into error.He has created a situation where, in Christian homes, the abuse of wives by husbands is rampant.The Christian husband asserts his "Paul-given" right to control his wife's life.He uses Pauline scriptures and chauvinistic church doctrine to enforce his presumptive right to tell her what to do.He demands her unquestioning submission to his whims and caprices.There is often little or no mutuality or loving consideration here.It is either his way or the highway.When the Christian man marries, he does not only marry a wife.He marries a cook, a washer-woman, a sex-slave and a maid, all in one Pauline package for the fee of a dowry.Every morning, he wakes up saying: "Thank you, Jesus!"

But it is all thanks to Paul that many a Christian husband believes his wife's feelings and opinions are inconsequential. He may discredit them on principle or specifically because "Adam was not deceived, but the woman." (1 Timothy 2:14).Or, he may give lip-service to respecting her views, but later disparage them as "emotional and not logical."

Thereby, the Christian wife, who has been ransomed by Christ, is put back into bondage.She is constrained to dissociate from certain friends and family-members because of the need to keep "His Majesty" happy. She avoids some of her favourite activities for the sake of "keeping the peace."If she objects to her Lord-husband's hea-vy-handedness, she is castigated as "rebellio-us," and "spiritually im-mature."If she questions his opinions and decisions or disagrees with them, his lordship might just beat her up so that "the will of God" may be done in her life.

But it is not the will of God that the wife should play second-fiddle to her husband.It is the will of Paul.It is the will of God that all men and women should submit to God.Marriage is not about doing of the will of the husband.It is about the doing of the will of God.The Christian husband who operates on the premise of my will be done has set up himself for a cantankerous marriage.

Servant husbands

Let me speak directly to my power-drunk husband colleagues who would have me excommunicated for daring to love our female adversaries.No matter the forcefulness of your dictatorship at home, I assure you your wife resents you.She may be kneeling down for you on the outside, but she is standing up to you on the inside.If you would just take the time to study the words of Jesus, you would see that your house is built on sand.Sooner than later, it will fall.

Even if the husband were to be the head of his wife; that would still not be to his advantage.A Christian head is different from a secular head.Jesus says: "Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:27-28 ).This means even Paul's position ends up making the husband the servant of his wife.

When there was disagreement between Abraham and Sarah over Ishmael, God did not take sides with Abraham as some bogus head of his wife.God declared his own overriding will, which happened to agree with Sarah and not with Abraham. (Genesis 21:9-12).That is the role of God in the Christian home.Every decision is referred and deferred to him.

Because we fail to understand this, Christian men make lousy husbands.If you don't agree with me, you don't need to argue.Just prove me wrong in your home.


http://odili.net/news/source/2012/may/13/321.html

Listen carefuly. The people of this century do not like to read a lot. Next time, please apply the wisdom of summary.
@post, in the western world, there is something called human rights which applies to women as well, so you are not supposed to be any kind of dictator to anybody. As soon as you reject what Paul said, you will be emancipated from Mental slavery.

the person who wrote this piece is an ill informed bully. the fact that the scripture says the man is the head of the woman is not talking about lording it or bullying your woman. you are supposed to love your wife and treat her very well and respectfully. that scripture only means that if tough decisions are to be made, the man ( because men use their head instead of their emotions ) has the final say. any household led by a woman will be an emotional roller coaster. any man who troubles his own home by bullying his wife will inherit the wind ( meaning your family will run away and leave you by yourself ). this happened in my household. my dad was extremely mean. well my mum eventually ran away and everyone else. proverbs 11 vs 29[b] He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind[/b]

Classic example of someone twisting scripture to serve his own evil purposes. Femi Aribisila is clearly not a born again judging from this article. I wish I had the time to thoroughly refute this guys claims.

tyson55: By Femi Aribisala


I was a loving husband until I became a "born again" Christian.Then I discovered certain things written by Paul in the bible appointing me the head of my wife.I eagerly accepted the appointment. Jesus reveals that the worst kind of evil is the one which is presumed to have a religious sanction. I might be a murderer but in my heart-of-hearts I know it is wrong to kill.However, if the church convinces me that by killing men I am doing the work of God, then I can kill with gusto and without any conscience.


Paul say: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22-24). Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25 happily left out by Femi. "really, you didn't see it?! It was the very next verse!)

Even though this is addressed to wives and not to husbands, it was music to my ears.I thanked God that he deemed it fit to make me head and not tail.As far as I was concerned, it gave me the divine sanction to lord it over my wife. Those who know my wife will immediately recognise that such presumed lordship would be fiercely contested.It took a few battle-scars and the tutelage of the Holy Spirit for me to recognise this scripture which gave me putative authority over my wife "in everything" is morally and spiritually bankrupt. Really?

Pauline fallacy

In classically Pauline fashion, the scripture is full of inherent contradictions.Christian wives cannot say Jesus is Lord on the one hand (I Corinthians 8:6); and say husband is Lord on the other.Jesus says: "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other." (Matthew 6:24)"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.(Mathew 6:24 complete with the part Femi again happily overlooked).It is fundamentally irreverent for Paul to ascribe equal status to the husband "as to the Lord" in the life of the wife.

Paul says: "I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." (I Corinthians 11:3).This is preposterous.It is not only unscriptural (but you just read it in the scripture didn't you), it is unworkable.In the Old Testament, Deborah was a judge in Israel. (Judges 4:4-7).This made her the head of all the men by divine sanction.(seriously?!) Today, let a man go and work in Nigeria's Ministry of Finance and tell the female Minister; Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, that "the head of woman is man."He will not last on the job.(and you know this for sure because.........)

Jesus would never make the man the head of the woman.That would displace God; the one and only head Jesus prescribes for everybody.Indeed, Jesus does not give authority to a man over another human-being.He says to his disciples: "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you." (Matthew 20:25-26).The only authority Jesus gives his disciples is over demons: "I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you." (Luke 10:19).

Matrimonial dictatorship

Paul is in error (femi is in error) and he leads many Christian men into error.He has created a situation where, in Christian homes, the abuse of wives by husbands is rampant.The Christian husband asserts his "Paul-given" right to control his wife's life.He uses Pauline scriptures and chauvinistic church doctrine to enforce his presumptive right to tell her what to do.He demands her unquestioning submission to his whims and caprices.There is often little or no mutuality or loving consideration here.It is either his way or the highway.When the Christian man marries, he does not only marry a wife.He marries a cook, a washer-woman, a sex-slave and a maid, all in one Pauline package for the fee of a dowry.Every morning, he wakes up saying: "Thank you, Jesus!" (Yeah, pitting Paul against Jesus Christ is the way to go. You have completely missed it Femi)

But it is all thanks to Paul that many a Christian husband believes his wife's feelings and opinions are inconsequential. He may discredit them on principle or specifically because "Adam was not deceived, but the woman." (1 Timothy 2:14).Or, he may give lip-service to respecting her views, but later disparage them as "emotional and not logical."

Thereby, the Christian wife, who has been ransomed by Christ, is put back into bondage.She is constrained to dissociate from certain friends and family-members because of the need to keep "His Majesty" happy. She avoids some of her favourite activities for the sake of "keeping the peace."If she objects to her Lord-husband's hea-vy-handedness, she is castigated as "rebellio-us," and "spiritually im-mature."If she questions his opinions and decisions or disagrees with them, his lordship might just beat her up so that "the will of God" may be done in her life.

But it is not the will of God that the wife should play second-fiddle to her husband.It is the will of Paul.It is the will of God that all men and women should submit to God.Marriage is not about doing of the will of the husband.It is about the doing of the will of God.The Christian husband who operates on the premise of my will be done has set up himself for a cantankerous marriage.

Servant husbands

Let me speak directly to my power-drunk husband colleagues who would have me excommunicated for daring to love our female adversaries.No matter the forcefulness of your dictatorship at home, I assure you your wife resents you.She may be kneeling down for you on the outside, but she is standing up to you on the inside.If you would just take the time to study the words of Jesus, you would see that your house is built on sand.Sooner than later, it will fall.

Even if the husband were to be the head of his wife; that would still not be to his advantage.A Christian head is different from a secular head.Jesus says: "Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:27-28 ).This means even Paul's position ends up making the husband the servant of his wife.

When there was disagreement between Abraham and Sarah over Ishmael, God did not take sides with Abraham as some bogus head of his wife.God declared his own overriding will, which happened to agree with Sarah and not with Abraham. (Genesis 21:9-12).That is the role of God in the Christian home.Every decision is referred and deferred to him.
(All Femi has done with this essay is seek as many instances that do not agree with feminism as he could find and quote them out of context to forcefully make his point.)
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28 ......and yes Femi that was Paul speaking just in case you were curious

Because we fail to understand this, Christian men make lousy husbands.If you don't agree with me, you don't need to argue.Just prove me wrong in your home. (Femi, when you write an intelligent essay, then we will take you seriously) Come back when you have grown up


http://odili.net/news/source/2012/may/13/321.html

Mr_Anony: Classic example of someone twisting scripture to serve his own evil purposes. Femi Aribisila is clearly not a born again judging from this article. I wish I had the time to thoroughly refute this guys claims.

This is why I said you see the truth and look at the other side

2good:

This is why I said you see the truth and look at the other side

What Did you read through my post properly before responding?......especially the words in red?

@2good
By the way please what is this "truth" I keep turning away from? Please define this "truth" to me as best as you can.
I am really interested to know exactly what I am being accused of..... or are you saying it is true that Christians make terrible husbands? and I turn from this so called "truth" because I don't agree with it and expose it for what it really is?

I have to admit the writer does seem to have an agenda with this piece – perhaps he just wants to be popular. Christians make terrible husbands? What a blanket statement. If a man is a terrible husband it might just be because he’s a terrible man. Being a “Christian” doesn’t automatically make one a control freak the same way it doesn’t automatically make one righteous. Sometimes I think it’s too easy blaming religion for another person’s character flaw. However I don’t see the contradiction in Paul’s divine teachings when in the very first book of the bible as a punishment to the woman called Eve god made her subordinate to the man called Adam. Now if this is supposedly the same “God” in the New Testament that Paul was serving then where does his extreme bias differ to that of God’s?

buzugee: that scripture only means that if tough decisions are to be made, the man ( because men use their head instead of their emotions ) has the final say.

The head between their legs abi?

@mranony, it actually reads god and mammon, both ways , his point still stands.
It is actually right, there is no refutation, just u grasping @ straws.

ea7: @mranony, it actually reads god and mammon, both ways , his point still stands.
It is actually right, there is no refutation, just u grasping @ straws.

Please look up the meaning of mammon in the dictionary (I hope you will be noble enough to apologize after you've looked it up). That scripture does not refer to "gender equality" at all
Also while you are looking up your dictionary, would you be kind enough tell me exactly how my refutation isn't valid quoting instances.

emöfine2: I have to admit the writer does seem to have an agenda with this piece – perhaps he just wants to be popular. Christians make terrible husbands? What a blanket statement. If a man is a terrible husband it might just be because he’s a terrible man. Being a “Christian” doesn’t automatically make one a control freak the same way it doesn’t automatically make one righteous. Sometimes I think it’s too easy blaming religion for another person’s character flaw. However I don’t see the contradiction in Paul’s divine teachings when in the very first book of the bible as a punishment to the woman called Eve god made her subordinate to the man called Adam. Now if this is supposedly the same “God” in the New Testament that Paul was serving then where does his extreme bias differ to that of God’s?

I couldn't agree with you more. We have just succeeded in wasting our time by giving unmerited attention to a clearly immature and post. I find the post offensive to say the least.

Everybody named Femi are promiscuous
Because it tells from the name