The following techniques are proven ways to cause the
human heart to stop, an experience
also known as DEATH. Some of these ideas are typical of Nigeria, being my home country, but
most could be enjoyed everywhere and anytime. It
is not certain, however, how these techniques work
but when employed correctly it produces the much
desired effect.
Since i am still working on the list I'll ask for your
patience and support. The experience promises to be rewarding; and hey if you'ld like to contribute
feel free to do so. Have fun reading.
Recipes for instant death.
1. When in America say "I am the 'bomb' ". You
have to be a Muslim of Arab origin to try this.
2. Take milk that has the certification- "Made in
China".
3. Pretend to be effeminate only for a few days
if you find yourself in jail.
4. Accept an invitation from an old friend of yours
from the Ngwa tribe of Nigeria asking you to attend
a barbecue in his home town.
5. When you feel a sharp pain in your chest, dial
112, The Nigerian emergency number. (this is only applicable to residents of Nigeria).
6. Say " Good morning" to a veiled muslim woman
while on a visit to Tehran.
7. Fly the Nigerian airways (takes an average of two
flights to get killed).
8. Play hard rock music while driving on the
express lane.
9. Attempt to do fifty shows at the age of fifty.
10. Attempt to smoke a cigarette after sucking out
fuel from your car using a hose.
11. Next April Fool's day, walk into a nigerian bank
waving a well crafted toy gun (a personal
favourite).
12. Run warm water over your wrist until you cant
feel a thing, borrow a razor and make a deep,
beautiful line across your wrist ( use a meter rule
for better accuracy). I hate blood and gore, but the
Romans invented it. Its worth the try!
13. Aaah! Get married to a beautiful lady that hails
from Mbisé tribe of eastern Nigeria. I hear their
husbands last just a few years. Why? Who knows,
maybe you aught to try it. I didnt make this up, i swear. Its still a rumor but hey, what the hell, lets
have fun.
14. Spice your food with thyme bought from kwale
in Delta state of Nigeria, then go for a swim. Makes
you feel kinda emotional. Its not an inside joke.
15. Kill a cow in an indian market.
16. Pin a cartoon of the prophet Mohamed (peace
be upon Him) to your back then humbly visit the
closest mosque. For better effect you should wear a
cross on your neck. Wow!

Disclaimer: No be me send you. Thanks.