Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,165,704 members, 7,862,211 topics. Date: Sunday, 16 June 2024 at 11:24 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Gods Meeting With Dog (741 Views)
Picture: Two Fully Grown Men Fighting On The Floor Of Meeting Venue / SHOCKING: Yam Tubers From The Gods [photo] / Women Having Sex With Dog (2) (3) (4)
(1) (Reply)
Gods Meeting With Dog by kaka23(f): 4:29pm On Dec 01, 2007 |
A Dog talks to God Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"? Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God: More meatballs and less spaghetti, please. Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog. 1. I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty. 4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. 5. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. 6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration. 9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying hello. 11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. 12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -- not after. 13. I will not throw up in the car. 14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt. 15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company. 16. The cat is not a squeaky toy -- so when I play with him and he makes that noise, its usually not a good thing. And, finally, My last two questions, Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16? P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back? |
(1) (Reply)
Hilarious Court Room Exchanges / Smart Guy / 'Letter To My Spouse'
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 12 |