A soldier walks into his officer’s room.
To impress him, the army office picks the phone, dials a number and said
“Yes sir, I understand sir. I will tell the President. Goodbye.”
Looking at the soldier he barked “What do you want?”
“Nothing sir.” he replied. “I just came to install your telephone.”

Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time.
First Soldier: Why did you join the army?
Second Soldier: I didn’t have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army?
First Soldier: I had a wife and I loved peace. So I joined.

Bob sets up his friend Sam on a blind date with a young lady friend of his.

However, Sam is a little worried about going out with someone he’s never seen before.
Sam: What do I do if she’s not good looking? I’ll be stuck with her all night.

Bob: Don’t worry, just go up to her door and meet her first.
If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned.
If you don’t just shout ‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!’ and fake an heart attack.

So that night, Sam knocks at the girl’s door and when she comes out he is thunderstruck
at how attractive and sexy she is. He’s about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts:
“Aaaaaaaaaaah!”

Well sha