Nigeria Airways

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Boniface) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the south. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!

Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with great pleasure; I announce that since starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Al Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seatbelt. For those of you who can’t find a seatbelt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat …and for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."

Enjoy Nigeria Airways

this is tight!
really funny. weldone diddy

lol, glad u like it.

that flight if true is a one way ticket to hell.


@diddy twas nice

thanks hun

thats the best joke i have read or heard in a very long while, magnificent creativity. keep it up and please POST SOME MORE JOKES FOR US TO READ.

ikamefa:

that flight if true is a one way ticket to hell.


@diddy twas nice

I feel u man. no other destination!

serious, this is a good joke, original, can any body prove otherwise

wao,
what a joke? but in reality, this is what our Nigerian Airways has turned into. Good job!!!

@favor
umm, she is a woman not a man.

I hate Nigeria Airways as well as Virgin Nigeria. Go with them but just make sure you fast and pray for you safety. They have the worse customer service among the Airline.

Good prescription of Nigeria Airways by the way.

diddy4:

@favor
umm, she is a woman not a man.

in this case, the word "man" is unisex. just a slang common among d carribeans

@favor5
dis is why you women baffle me sometimes. a woman makes a mistake, it bcomes a slang. a guy makes the same mistake, he is asked to go and learn his gender. women ehh? i fear una.

@diddy4
don't worry, it's all about learning. Now I believe u've learnt a slang
as for ur generalisation on women and men making mistakes, i'll leave that till u explain ur base for it.

by the way, no need to fear women. u can't live without them

you are one funny girl. u just cant take a defeat. like dat.

diddy4:

you are one funny girl. u just can't take a defeat. like that.

Thanks!

Arise o compatriots, abeg no spoil ma country