SERMON ON MOUNT ASO ROCK (1) And seeing the multitudes, corruption went up into Aso Rock; and when he was set, the politicians came unto him; (2) And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying: (3) Blessed are the clueless in wisdom; for theirs is the Presidency of the nation. (4) Blessed are they that rig elections, for they shall stand elected. (5) Blessed are the thieves; for they shall inherit the National Assembly. (6) Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after public funds; for their accounts shall be filled.
(7) Blessed are the bribe-takers, for they shall obtain big bribes.(
Blessed are the Petroleum Ministers, for they shall loot trillions. (9)Blessed are the bootlickers, for they shall be called the Federal Executhief Council. (10) Blessed are they which are prosecuted for corruption’s sake; for theirs is the kingdom of wealth. (11) Blessed are ye, when EFCC shall invite you, and interrogate you, and bring all manner of charges against you, for my sake.
(12) Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad; for fat are your accounts in
Swiss banks; for so they prosecuted the politicians which were before
you. (13) Ye are the thieves of the nation; but if the thief
have lost his craftiness, wherewith shall he be looting? It is
thenceforth good for nothing, but to be charged to court, and be
sentenced to prison. (14) Ye are the liars of the nation, a lie that is carefully thought- out cannot be foundout.
(15) Neither do politicians cook a big lie, and serve it to Sahara
Reporters, but to NTA; and it gives false hope unto all that watch the
9pm news. (16) Let your gowns so flow before men, that they may see your big loots, and glorify your father which is in Ota. (17) Think not that I am come to arrest the fuel marketers
(18) For verily I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass, one naira
or one kobo shall not be left in the Federation Account, but all be
looted away. (19) Whosever shall break one of these least
commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the Asiwaju in
the kingdom of corruption; but whosoever shall do and teach them, the
same shall be called BOT Chairman in the kingdom of corruption.
(20) For I say unto you, except your corruption shall exceed the
corruption of civil servants and lawmakers, ye shall in no case enter
into the kingdom of immunity. (21) Ye have heard that it was
said by them of the old time, Thou shall not loot; and whosoever shall
loot shall be in danger of the judgment: (22) But I say unto
you, That whosoever is angry with his party without a cause shall be in
danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say stop looting, shall be
in danger of penury, the elder brother of poverty. (23) Therefore if thou bring thy loot to the UK, and there rememberest that the EFCC has case against thee (24) Leave thy loot in a UK bank and go to Dubai; first be reconciled to the EFCC Chairman and come and enjoy thy loot.
(25) Bribe thy prosecutors quickly while thou art in the way with him;
lest at any time he deliver thee to the judge, and the judge sentence
thee, and thou be cast into prison. (26) Verily I say unto you, thou shall by no means come out thence, till thou hast entered a plea bargain. - By Anonymous Weeping Nigeria

not funny to me though

So, so boring

Failed attempt @ popularity!

Hmmn...for this chap to construct such a composition is commendable in the sense that it obvious he needs a job cos no sane person working will have the time to do this except ofcourse if he's been paid for it.

So stale. Which laff is there to control? Ha!

My eyez hurts! U try sha.

Not funny. If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in the book, and if any man shall take away the words from the book, God shall take away his part out of the book of life. Rev. 22.18.

manosteel: Not funny. If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in the book, and if any man shall take away the words from the book, God shall take away his part out of the book of life. Rev. 22.18.

God bless u 4 dt rminding txt of d sayin of d Lord! I dnt see any funny tin in diz senseles fabricatn. Ur rward is waitin 4 u in Rev 22:18!

fixed

egoldman: SERMON ON MOUNT ASO ROCK

(1) And seeing the multitudes, corruption went up into Aso Rock; and when he was set, the politicians came unto him;

(2) And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying:

(3) Blessed are the clueless in wisdom; for theirs is the Presidency of the nation.

(4) Blessed are they that rig elections, for they shall stand elected.

(5) Blessed are the thieves; for they shall inherit the National Assembly.

(6) Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after public funds; for their accounts shall be filled.

(7) Blessed are the bribe-takers, for they shall obtain big bribes.

(Blessed are the Petroleum Ministers, for they shall loot trillions.

(9)Blessed are the bootlickers, for they shall be called the Federal Executhief Council.

(10) Blessed are they which are prosecuted for corruption’s sake; for theirs is the kingdom of wealth.

(11) Blessed are ye, when EFCC shall invite you, and interrogate you, and bring all manner of charges against you, for my sake.

(12) Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad; for fat are your accounts in Swiss banks; for so they prosecuted the politicians which were before you.

(13) Ye are the thieves of the nation; but if the thief have lost his craftiness, wherewith shall he be looting? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be charged to court, and be sentenced to prison.

(14) Ye are the liars of the nation, a lie that is carefully thought- out cannot be foundout.

(15) Neither do politicians cook a big lie, and serve it to Sahara Reporters, but to NTA; and it gives false hope unto all that watch the 9pm news.

(16) Let your gowns so flow before men, that they may see your big loots, and glorify your father which is in Ota.

(17) Think not that I am come to arrest the fuel marketers

(18) For verily I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass, one naira or one kobo shall not be left in the Federation Account, but all be looted away.

(19) Whosever shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the Asiwaju in the kingdom of corruption; but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called BOT Chairman in the kingdom of corruption.

(20) For I say unto you, except your corruption shall exceed the corruption of civil servants and lawmakers, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of immunity.

(21) Ye have heard that it was said by them of the old time, Thou shall not loot; and whosoever shall loot shall be in danger of the judgment:

(22) But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his party without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say stop looting, shall be in danger of penury, the elder brother of poverty.

(23) Therefore if thou bring thy loot to the UK, and there rememberest that the EFCC has case against thee

(24) Leave thy loot in a UK bank and go to Dubai; first be reconciled to the EFCC Chairman and come and enjoy thy loot.

(25) Bribe thy prosecutors quickly while thou art in the way with him;lest at any time he deliver thee to the judge, and the judge sentence thee, and thou be cast into prison.

(26) Verily I say unto you, thou shall by no means come out thence, till thou hast entered a plea bargain.

- By Anonymous Weeping Nigeria

*yawns*

ha ha ha - he- he - he! lol,, lmao; rflmao.

extremely, exceedingly, excessively, very very very funnnnnny!!!

_{ki i buru buru ko ma ku eni kan mo ni, abi?}

otilowaju: ha ha ha - he- he - he! lol,, lmao; rflmao.

extremely, exceedingly, excessively, very very very funnnnnny!!!

_{ki i buru buru ko ma ku eni kan mo ni, abi?}

oro lo so, sugbon ikokuko ni ogbeni yen ko

finally someone sums up the nigerian experience.