Idowuogbo:
U again?

It wasn't me!

haha...ur twin lalaosky shey?

gonon: Bros, if she is nor pressuring you to know how much you earn and you are not giving her a false impression of earning alot, DON'T TRY IT

wat matter how ur wife luv u,she still a human being n can do d undone,pls as u wan peace and respect in ur family,as gonon says don't even try it,no even try hem sef

I think we really make too much out of everything in marriage. So she earns more than you, so what's d big deal? Did she ask you what you earn and you had to lie to her? If she didn't ask you I don't see why you shd have to say anything. If it ever comes up then you tell her the truth. As long as you fulfil your obligations as a man I don't see why any of this shd be a problem. But the truth is, you know your wife. I know the man I married has issues with me earning more than him. Like this month I know for sure I have made more than he earns in a month but I sure as hell am not going to say anything to hurt his ego.

Everything depends on the kind of wife you have gotten married to,.. but if she the good, loyal and respectful type, telling her will do you both good..

manosteel: I recently got married to this lady, she works in construction company while I worked in Govt. Ministry. I have seen my wife's pay slip, she earns slightly higher than I, but she believes that I'm earning higher than her,and she respects me as well as my job for that. I'm thinking of opening up to her and to let her know my true salary, should she find out in the future and treat me as a lier, but at the same time, I'm afraid that I might loose the respect she has for me as the head of the family.

How on earth do you know she respects you because of how much she thinks u earn. Alot of you guys have inferiority complex issues. Broda man, the problem is with you, u lies and insecurities have nothing to do with ur wife, its all you! Marriage based on lies! There should be a law against boys getting married until they r properly mature, nothing to do with age!

Listen OP, your wife is your best friend and the worst thing to do to your wife is to lie for her about your salary.
You should not create an atmosphere whereby you lie about yourself to your wife. Well, this might sound foolish to some people here or out there. My wife knows the amount of money I make as a businessman and I give it to her to keep and I have never regretted it. We plan everything together and this has led us to have our own properties. I only keep the little money I use for gassing our car and small amount of money fr any little expenses. She keeps every big sum in her account and this has made me to be disciplined. If I go out with any amount of money, I spend within that limit. Before I got married, I spend money a lot and at any point I meet any of my friends or anybody having any financial problem,I can even empty my pocket and give out. Since I married and my wife keeps my money, we plan everything together and to the point that people do ask us why we always go to bank together. This is because we plan together and she knows when I have and when I don't have.
When I tell her I need money, she believe me.

So my brother, carry your wife along and tell her who you are and how much you make, unless she is not your wife or na juju you take convince and married her. If true she is your wife, nothing wrong to open up as this will help you to plan your lives together. When she finds out that you lied about how much you make, and feel bad, this could trigger the brake up of the marriage.
If you had lied to her about your salary b4, you can tell her now that your company slashed all salaries of every staff member and then tell her that this is your present salary. Maybe this could help you sort out your hidden life style of lies.

Hmm,why at the first place should I be worried about who earns what or not, don't be surprise she already knows. If I were u I will just talk it over with her and stop being negative about the whole thing.

how did you get married in the first place?was she a gift? did you date before getting married?

Jide fido: not to sound biased or something, i will advice every man NEVER to discuss his financial details with your wife.she may know your salary but not your entire worth in terms of how much you get monthly etc yes you love her and trust her but she is human. just as my grandfather and father told, i will keep to that. trust me as a man you will be respected more if she doesnt know.just continuing providing for her

@ poster is advice is base on reality n fact,jus kip providing her with her needs n wants,every reasonable elder will tel u so,wish u all d best oh with any decision u take but is d best u will get.

xcept if she is not 2ruly ur wyf..but if she is nd she realy loves u..tel her so dat old tinz wud pass away nd evry evry will bcome new

kristofa09:
haha...ur twin lalaosky shey?

Stop Derailing joor!

Tgirl! Arrest him!

afam4eva: You go fear thread now.

At times i wonder why some people get married. It's not by force to get married. But if you must, then you have to live by the code. Your wife is a part of you now, so why should you be hiding anything from her. if you can't trust her then divorce her and get married to someone you can trust. Chikena.

lol at afam4eva's transformation after the ban. omo, ban good oh

It works perfectly well for me.
I earn really well and my wife doesn't work but we plan every move together.
I have been married for 7 years now and I have never regretted that move.

I guess it takes two really ready people to get marriage to work out well. So, for me its not just about what you earn but rather about how both of you see marriage and raising a family. Your success in marriage would be greatly influenced by your personalities both as independent individuals and as a COUPLE.

Today its about salary, tomorrow it could be about living standard, a family challenge or a health condition as you age the challenge never ends bro. That's why its a journey and not an event!

OP, let me share a personal experience.
I was earning 3ce my wife's salary before I got married and was very open about it, she opened up on hers as well and everything was fine. About 7 years later, she got a better offer that pushed her salary to almost same as mine. Then, her salary became a top secret and no discussions around it was welcome. She introduced the concept of "my money" rather than "our money" and on several occasions, blatanly challenged my authority at home even in the presence of outsiders sometimes. Thrice, I confronted her and informed her how her sudden lack of openness and respect was impacting on the marriagea and she paid deaf ears. A few months later, I got a much awaited breakthrough that made rubbish of her new salary. And yes, it was time for pay back. I informed her that the much awaited news has finally come and then, I changed the rules of the game -no more contributions to the home from her under any guise or form no matter how little, the new law became "keep your salary and do whatever you want with it but do not spend on anything for the family". If there's anything the family requires, I provide everything 100% and her opinion no longer counts in any decision-making process in the home. I solely take all decisions now without letting her know what my plans are. It's been over a year now and I have effectively regained my respect and control of the home back even though I notice she's beem very, very uneasy with the development. Unfortunately, I hardly forgive especially when I feel I have been deliberately hurt. My final resolve is to crash the marriage anytime now for her challenging my authority just because of a mere pay rise.
The clock is ticking ..........slowly but surely!

My own opinion and what we practice in my marriage, before you marry someone, you must agree on finances or otherwise the marriage is sitting on a keg of gunpowder. I strongly believe spouses should make their financial plans together that entails you knowing our much the family has, don't forget one key goal is financial security of the kids.
Oga bury your ego and don't believe a lie, your WIFE will love, respect and submit to you not on the basis of how much you earn alone, if it were based on that alone, rich men won't be getting divorced.
So long story short, treat your marriage like a partnership be fully transparent!

Hmm! When you have other sources of extra cash apart from your salary on pay slip its easy to submit your pay slip to her for verification. But when you live entirely on what is on the pay slip it becomes difficult for her to understand that you have to send a sibling in school money when she has not done her hair except if your wife is an exceptional woman.
You can ask her for a joint account, but when she realises she earns more she may not want your salaries to be paid into the same account.

just tell her,before is to late.

gonon: Bros, if she is nor pressuring you to know how much you earn and you are not giving her a false impression of earning alot, DON'T TRY IT

very nice advice!!!!

$ugardaddy:
OP, let me share a personal experience.
I was earning 3ce my wife's salary before I got married and was very open about it, she opened up on hers as well and everything was fine. About 7 years later, she got a better offer that pushed her salary to almost same as mine. Then, her salary became a top secret and no discussions around it was welcome. She introduced the concept of "my money" rather than "our money" and on several occasions, blatanly challenged my authority at home even in the presence of outsiders sometimes. Thrice, I confronted her and informed her how her sudden lack of openness and respect was impacting on the marriagea and she paid deaf ears. A few months later, I got a much awaited breakthrough that made rubbish of her new salary. And yes, it was time for pay back. I informed her that the much awaited news has finally come and then, I changed the rules of the game -no more contributions to the home from her under any guise or form no matter how little, the new law became "keep your salary and do whatever you want with it but do not spend on anything for the family". If there's anything the family requires, I provide everything 100% and her opinion no longer counts in any decision-making process in the home. I solely take all decisions now without letting her know what my plans are. It's been over a year now and I have effectively regained my respect and control of the home back even though I notice she's beem very, very uneasy with the development. Unfortunately, I hardly forgive especially when I feel I have been deliberately hurt. My final resolve is to crash the marriage anytime now for her challenging my authority just because of a mere pay rise.
The clock is ticking ..........slowly but surely!

A lot of commenters here dont realy understand some of this issues. Yes, when you have an understanding wife no problem but otherwise hmm! I had a similar problem like you to the extent that my wife bought a flashy car for herself without even infoming while I had to trek and jump on buses because I had a broken down car and couldnt even afford to fix it for some time. I even asked her that our salaries should be paid into a joint account and she refused. every month I still have to bring enough money for the upkeep of the house and I am constantly under financial pressure and she doent seem to want to show some understanding. I cant seek for divorce because of the kids and just allow her to keep and spend her money how she so desires.
I have not been able to hit a breakthrough like you, so i just dey manage.

OP from your post you have already given her the impression that your pay package is higher than what she earns and that's a lie on its own,first you should apologise to your wife for not telling her the truth before now then show her your pay slip so she knows what you earn as salary.
If the foundation of your marriage was built on TRUST and LOVE,believe me your wife will respect you more now that you have shown her respect by revealing your pay package to her.

Somethings are better get to oneself, but dont lie. if she finds out and ask admit it, but otherwise...silence

afam4eva: You go fear thread now.

At times i wonder why some people get married. It's not by force to get married. But if you must, then you have to live by the code. Your wife is a part of you now, so why should you be hiding anything from her. if you can't trust her then divorce her and get married to someone you can trust. Chikena.

Hmmmm a good advice wud av bn better
U r a bit harsh
Were u heartbroken

Guyman02:

A lot of commenters here dont realy understand some of this issues. Yes, when you have an understanding wife no problem but otherwise hmm! I had a similar problem like you to the extent that my wife bought a flashy car for herself without even infoming while I had to trek and jump on buses because I had a broken down car and couldnt even afford to fix it for some time. I even asked her that our salaries should be paid into a joint account and she refused. every month I still have to bring enough money for the upkeep of the house and I am constantly under financial pressure and she doent seem to want to show some understanding. I cant seek for divorce because of the kids and just allow her to keep and spend her money how she so desires.
I have not been able to hit a breakthrough like you, so i just dey manage.

Bros I can feel your pain,its hard when you end up marrying your girlfriend instead of your wife. For every man there is a special woman made for him somewhere but only few men are lucky enough to find that special woman while few men are also lucky to find a special mate as wife. Many young couples have also been able to sit down and fashion out strategies that will make their marriages work,communication is the backbone of every marriage. With healthy communication you can generate the needed trust and understanding which are the essential ingredients of a perfect or lasting marriage.
Many men are not outspoken and lack good communication skills to make a woman see reasons from a different perspective,men have to work on the communication aspect of their marriages because that's what you need to make your wife have confidence in your decisions and therefore give you all the necessary support when you need one.

Be open to your wife always.

felicity17:
Hmmmm a good advice wud av bn better
U r a bit harsh
Were u heartbroken

Heartbroken ke? God punish that heart wey wan break. I'm one of those that don't believe in the marriage institution because i believe it comes with so many wahala just like the one the OP is having. So, i'll advise only the strong in character to go into and if you must go into it, you have to give your all to the latter.

Guyman02:

A lot of commenters here dont realy understand some of this issues. Yes, when you have an understanding wife no problem but otherwise hmm! I had a similar problem like you to the extent that my wife bought a flashy car for herself without even infoming while I had to trek and jump on buses because I had a broken down car and couldnt even afford to fix it for some time. I even asked her that our salaries should be paid into a joint account and she refused. every month I still have to bring enough money for the upkeep of the house and I am constantly under financial pressure and she doent seem to want to show some understanding. I cant seek for divorce because of the kids and just allow her to keep and spend her money how she so desires.
I have not been able to hit a breakthrough like you, so i just dey manage.

wish u will listen to people dat got married peeps not youth dat r being blind in childish love or 2much novel imagination about love or marriage,no doubt u wan to be a perfectman,caring,loving and honest but is different @guyman I pray ur breakthrough is just @ d corner because it's not easy

better tell her asap, or i come with KOBOKO and force you to do it !!!!!

I have tried to make her change and realise that money should not be the ultimate in the home but it doesnt seem to work. She would rather pay so much as tithe and tell me that is why she is getting blessed than give me the money to solve urgent issues

Thanks for the advice. I am an adult not an adolescent and when I married her I didnt see some of these traits because she was just a struggling youth corper and whom everyone said was homely and I thought so too, but when the money started rolling in for her everything changed. I have tried to be the best husband and father as much I can. Somethings I have to walk back from work to save money to buy bread and things for the kids in other to have my respect before them. I tried to report to my inlaws after every other thing failed against my pride, but because they see their daughter as successful and are happy for that, they find it hard to scold and probably she sends them amount which I cant afford to send to them.
I dont want to derail this thread but the point is that you have to know the kind of wife you have before becoming too open. Better to be quiet, but dont lie to her...

manosteel: I recently got married to this lady, she works in construction company while I worked in Govt. Ministry. I have seen my wife's pay slip, she earns slightly higher than I, but she believes that I'm earning higher than her,and she respects me as well as my job for that. I'm thinking of opening up to her and to let her know my true salary, should she find out in the future and treat me as a lier, but at the same time, I'm afraid that I might loose the respect she has for me as the head of the family.

The bolded phrase is enough to show that you didnt marry your wife.
Its better you tell the lady before she gets to know how much you earn, herself. Else that lady would "double-disrespect" you when she eventually finds out.
Wait, how long do you wanna keep it from that lady? How long?

Frawzey.

manosteel: I recently got married to this lady, she works in construction company while I worked in Govt. Ministry. I have seen my wife's pay slip, she earns slightly higher than I, but she believes that I'm earning higher than her,and she respects me as well as my job for that. I'm thinking of opening up to her and to let her know my true salary, should she find out in the future and treat me as a lier, but at the same time, I'm afraid that I might loose the respect she has for me as the head of the family.

Tell her and lose respect. What has respect got to do with telling the truth and knowing her true color. If she messes up, show her the way out and move on with new chic. Be Hardcore, and she gonna respect you. Tell her with pride and make sure you pay all bills without needing her assistance, if she offers to help financially, tell her to keep her change that you are in charge.