My favourite uncle who used to be stoical has turned something else. He used to be this guy who would simply avoid getin drunk, but now he drinks heavily. Whenever, he gets to this stupor, he just says gibberish things, fights his wife, do terrible things to his neighbors. This has resulted in bad things to the whole family cos we are both into ourselves that our neighbor knw him very well. He has been taken 2 d police station more than 5times cos he was caught out at night by d police at d early hours of d day. On sundays whenever he is goin on this diabolic mission, he won't go with his car nor let his wife knw he is leaving d house. We have tried talkin 2 him(especially d elders,his pastor nd evn me bein d chatty typ 2 him)
I've never advised him that he didnt take my advice except on this. He is very religious, but after leaving the church he would just sneak 2 d bar. He only used 2 drink occasionally b4 bt now after returnin 4rm work he would just visit d alcohol arena b4 goin home, another bad thing is that his wife told us he sneaked in Ogidiga(gin) into the house and he drank 2 medium-sized bottles last week. Gins are very bad 4 human health. There was a time his wallet nd gadgets were stolen due to this act.. Another trauma here is that his eldest daughter Rachel16 was weepin last weekend reportin that some of her friends nd classmates made jest of her on this. I feel 4 d gurl, nd evn his wife who reported him bein unsensible when on ethanol. I'm so scared he also has his last chance after his boss queried him for nt coming 2 work when he was locked up in the police station. If he loses that job, its gonna be hell.I'm so confused
Please advise me! help!!!
I hope nairalanders can just dish me d best advices to help this uncle of mine..

this is spiritual attack ooo

You can have a good chat with him that can help you unravel what is driving him into drinking, some drink out of unhappiness. There may be something worrying him. Does he know that his daughter got mocked and cried because of him, they should let him know the effects on his family ,it may touch him enough to want to stop because of that.

You can also search online for how to get a hold on such things as drinking etc

Ivynwa: You can have a good chat with him that can help you unravel what is driving him into drinking, some drink out of unhappiness. There may be something worrying him. Does he know that his daughter got mocked and cried because of him, they should let him know the effects on his family ,it may touch him enough to want to stop because of that.

You can also search online for how to get a hold on such things as drinking etc

Thank you for this. Maybe the daughter's molestation wil work. I just hope he takes things rili serious. I sincerely appreciate that

A good way of finding out what is worrying him is listening in on him when he is drunk and ranting. The particular thing he stresses on most while drunk may be the source of his worry. I know a fifty something year old man in our neighbourhood who has a terrible drinking habit that made him get demoted at work. He did not marry, has no children and whenenever he is drunk he is always talking about children, child and other things on his mind he has been musing secretly on.

On hearing him talk about children severally, I realized that he actually wanted children and on discussing that with two of his siblings they both said that he love children and is not happy that he is not married and has no child. I asked that they persuade him to marry and they replied that no lady will want him and his terrible drinking habit and this man is actually very handsome (mixed breed)but drinking has done him more bad than good. You need to see how his world lights up when he is sober and playing with a child----so the secret of what is driving him to drink may be found in his drunken rantings.

Ivynwa: A good way of finding out what is worrying him is listening in on him when he is drunk and ranting. The particular thing he stresses on most while drunk may be the source of his worry. I know a fifty something year old man in our neighbourhood who has a terrible drinking habit that made him get demoted at work. He did not marry, has no children and whenenever he is drunk he is always talking about children, child and other things on his mind he has been musing secretly on.

On hearing him talk about children severally, I realized that he actually wanted children and on discussing that with two of his siblings they both said that he love children and is not happy that he is not married and has no child. I asked that they persuade him to marry and they replied that no lady will want him and his terrible drinking habit and this man is actually very handsome (mixed breed)but drinking has done him more bad than good. You need to see how his world lights up when he is sober and playing with a child----so the secret of what is driving him to drink may be found in his drunken rantings.

well said!

@Ivynwa, sayin THANK YOU is an understatement, sayin I appreciate your effort nd admire ur thinkin faculty sounds better. I'll try watchin that too. I neva thought a nairaland might stil be this helpful. Evn friends around dnt dish out an advice that seem this sensible.

Oh dear!
I hope you are able to help him and get to him thru words so that he can stop. You seem very concerned for him which is good and rare in our society where you will find people with such bad heart as to secretly rejoice/and mock their own cousins that are going thru that.

Did you say that you never knew that Nairalanders can help one think thru a problem? They've got great Pips here who have great heads for solving problems, wait till the crowd arrives and you will be amazed. You will get good laughs and plenty of sweet pieces of advice too. Gotta run go handle some weekend runs Ojare.

This is a sad story. Your uncle didn't start out his adult life as a drunkard (although from your post, it appears that he has always imbibed alcohol in moderate quantities). Something must have happened to trigger a depressive episode; he is using alcohol to self-medicate. Unfortunately, alcohol itself is a depressive that leads to even deeper depression, creating a vicious cycle that ultimately ends in alcohol dependency and addiction. Addictions are very difficult demons to overcome. My fear is that your uncle cannot see the harm his drinking is doing to his life, career and family. He might not see this harm until he loses his job and hits rock bottom. Here are my suggestions:

1) RAISE THE ALARM: I think your uncle doesn't yet realize the gravity of his predicament. You don't want him to realize this after the damage is irrevocable. By getting together with his wife, kids and all the elders of your family to raise the alarm in an early intervention, you all might turn him back from his path of destruction. You have to thread carefully with this though. Addicts/Alcoholics can get very defensive about their habits and a family confrontation might make him angry and rebellious, pushing him even closer to the bottle. Confront him with utmost love and respect. Let him know how painful and heartbreaking his actions are to those the love, respect and cherish him.

2) CONSIDER SEEING A DOCTOR: The Nigerian healthcare system is an unqualified disaster. However, there are still some pretty good specialist psychiatrists at the teaching hospitals who focus on addictions. If your uncle can't keep himself from the bottle even after a remorseful promise to his loved ones to stop, then his addiction might need medical attention. There are many drugs/therapies that can help willing alcoholics get off the bottle. However, your uncle must agree to this and be willing to do the hard work required to conquer his alcohol dependency.

3) GET ON YOUR KNEES BEFORE GOD: Nothing works better than the prayerful interceding of a loved one before the throne of God. Your uncle is a christian; hopefully God will convict him, show him the tragedy of his ways and provide grace to overcome his demons.

May your family find God's mercy and grace concerning this issue.

u have to take to a psychiatric hospital for help cos evenif he stops now he will have a huge health problem know as widthrowal syndrom and he will son experience tolorance, so take him to psychiatric hosp , cos dat is were i work and av seen and taken care of people like this in drug dependence and abuse ward

Thanks a whole lot guys.. Those things u told me rili works. @Chuksbogus, u took it too far man.
@ivynwa, i dont knw hw to thank you. After about 6months takin ur advices, it rili did work. I appreciate that. I'll try to snd u a pm
@braveheart, thanks too

@laykhorn, hw is ur uncle faring now? I hope all is stable including his family n job

laykhorn: Thanks a whole lot guys.. Those things u told me rili works. @Chuksbogus, u took it too far man.
@ivynwa, i dont knw hw to thank you. After about 6months takin ur advices, it rili did work. I appreciate that. I'll try to snd u a pm
@braveheart, thanks too

@Layhorn

Good to hear that he improved, thanks to God. So how is he now, has he minimized the drinking. Is he sober now?

Ivynwa:


@Layhorn

Good to hear that he improved, thanks to God. So how is he now, has he minimized the drinking. Is he sober now?

he has minimise it to a very large extent. It was absolutely unbelievable. Thank God n Thank you 4 evrything, i dont knw what to say... I was very glad after visiting him n his family yesterday, when I returned from school. I dont knw hw to describe the feelin of d whole family.... I tried to snd u a PM.

Gee001: @laykhorn, hw is ur uncle faring now? I hope all is stable including his family n job

He is doing rili great. Good to see him since september... Thank you very much. I appreciate you guys

Gee001: @laykhorn, hw is ur uncle faring now? I hope all is stable including his family n job

He is doing rili great. Good to see him since september... Thank you very much. I appreciate you guys. Hw have you guys also been?