₦airaland Forum

Internally displaced couple.....

Front page stuff

1. Female dogs become so wicked when they give birth.
.
2. Female fowls chase people when they
hatch.
.
3. Male lions don't eat humans no matter how hungry they are, but
female lions do tear people apart.
.
4. Females human beings spend average
28years of their lives asking for recharge
cards from males....hmmmm abeg....ooo . 5. And the most annoying one
is... it is the female mosquitoes that
causes MALARIA.
.
6. Female took away Samson's strength. .
7. Wetin come burst my head be say na...Female first ate the forbidden fruit in the garden
of
Eden. Chai!! Females get wahala! Walahi.!!!
.
But one good thing about them is that..Female
gave birth to us & without them, there'll be no means of procreation. But nontheless, I love
them so so much. But d question is y ar women so
troublesome and y do dey creat confusion ??

Are you a talented Weeper?
Do you know how to cry?
This is an opportunity for you to cry your way into
good money. We are looking for people who can cry
in other people's burial ceremonies.
For normal crying - N5,000 For crying and singing - N7,500
For crying and scattering things - N10,000
For crying and rolling on the floor - N12,500
For crying and swearing- N15,000
For crying and threatening to jump into the grave -
N15,000 For crying and jumping into the grave - N20,000
For crying jumping into the grave and grabbing the
coffin - N25,000
For crying and entering into the coffin - N30,000
Apply in person with your crying certificate.

A man gets on a bus and sees a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and pleads with her: "You are so
attractive and I must have s*x with you." "No," she replies,
"I'm married to God." She stands up, and gets off at the
next stop. The man is devastated. The bus driver,who
overheard, turns to the man and says: "I can tell you how to get to make love with her!""Yeah?” says the man. "Yeah!" say the bus driver. "She goes to the
cemetery every Tuesday night at
midnight to pray. So all you have to do is dress up in a
robe with a hood, put some of that glowing powder stuff
in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be an Angel. "The man promises to give it a Try, and arrives at the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.
"I am an Angel," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood
low about His face. "God has directed me to make love
with you." The nun agrees without question, but begs him to
restrict himself to anal s*x, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity. The man agrees, and promptly has his wicked
way with her. This was the best s*x he had ever had. After
finishing, he jumps up and throws back his hood
with a flourish. "Ha-ha," he laughed happily. "Surprise
surprise, I am the man from the bus!" "Ha-ha," replied the nun. "Surprise surprise I am the bus driver and I am gay!!"

*******INSPIRATION STORY********** A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery.
He answered the call asap, changed his clothes & went directly
to the surgery block. He found the boy's father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor.
On seeing him, the dad yelled: "Why did you take all this time
to come? Don't
you know that my son's life is in danger? Don't you have any
sense of responsibility?" The doctor smiled & said: "I am sorry, I wasn't in the hospital & I came as fast as
I could after receiving the call. And now, I wish you'd calm
down so that I can do
my work." "Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you
do??" said the father angrily The doctor smiled again & replied:" I will say what Job said in the Holy Book
'From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name
of God.'
Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go &intercede for your son, we
will do our best by God's grace" "Giving advises when we're not concerned is so easy " murmured the father. The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, "Thank goodness!, your son
is saved!" And without waiting for the father's reply he carried
on his way
running." If you have any question, ask the nurse!!" "Why is he so arrogant? He couldn't wait some minutes so that I ask about my son's state" commented the
father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left. The nurse answered, tears coming down her face:"His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial
when we called him
for your son's surgery. And now that he saved your son's life, he
left running to
finish his son's burial."

I can't laugh alone. A teacher asked her
class
what they would love to be when they
grow up.
Musa answer ''I want to be a
billionaire,have the
cutiest wife, make her feel like a woman,
give
her everything she needs,fly her in my
private jet
to Dubai for shopping,take her on a
monthly trip
around the world.The teacher ignores
Musa and
ask Mary what she wanted to be when she
grows
up.Mary replied in a low tone "l want to be
Musa's wife

Front page tins

Made in Nigeria politics

A man was walking in a bush and he saw a lion in
front of him, he knelt down and was praying to
GOD to deliver him,when he open his eyes, he saw
the lion kneeling also and praying, he ask the
lion, mrlion are you also a christian? The lion
reply, shut up! Don't you pray before you eat?

Question of the day; you're a FRSC officer and someone drives round a round-about for three times,what's the person's offense?

Amen

A stressed man was in his office thinking
deeply. Suddenly one man ran inside. shouting
"Paul, Paul, Paul your daughter Swanta just had an
accident and died"
Shocked and confused, He jumped out of his
office through the window. As soon as he
does, he remembered his office is on the 7th
floor, as he descends lower, he remembered he
doesn't have a daughter called Swanta, still
descending, he remembered he's not even
married, just 2 floors b4 he hits the ground, he
remembered his name is not Paul...!
Luckily for him, he fell on a Lorry carrying foams.
...
Stop thinking too much in this world of troubles..
God is always in control.. Relax, Grab a glass of
chilled Juice, and also......
Keep praying until something happens.

68

sex on period is the sweetest..... mark my words..