I just checked their website, and you can get it from Lagos.

Dollyhams Health

3rd Floor, 93 Allen Avenue,
Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria

Office Tel: 234-1-9504888
Mobile: 234-803-3714388

Email: dollyhams@yahoo.com


http://biotanicalhealth.com/faqs/#faq_997

Inked_Nerd:


I'm so very sorry. It wasn't my intention to hurt you if I did.   I really didn't mean make you feel shaken

Gosh no, it wasn't you.   I actually found your comments really encouraging and helpful, especially being able to see the funny side of it.   

It was that man who made me feel so bad.  As omega25red said, the man was psychologically abusive.  He knew about my desire to marry and have children, and when I didn't accept his proposal, attacked me where he knew it would hurt.

claremont:

I seriously doubt this story.

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard him. It's good to know that you also find his behaviour unbelievable too.

Inked_Nerd:

@OP: I'm sorry but I really cannot stop laughing. I had to tell me sister as well because it was just too funny. I re-read some lines over for here and we're been laughing for a moment now.

I was quite shaken over the experience this morning, but I'm hoping that I will be able to see the funny side of it one day.

Inked_Nerd:

[b]@OP:[/b]Men such as the ones you've described are in my opinion just desperate to get out of their economical and social situation/setting. OP, what you want/desire is in no way asking too much. Much of what men want in a partner is no different from what women want in a partner. How is asking for a good man, asking for too much? You sound like a good person, so just try to be patient and hopefully with time, you will find that special someone

Thanks for your encouraging words. Although I sympathise with his desperate position, I found his intentions really scary.

I agree that I wasn't asking for too much. I really appreciate that you acknowledged that.

tpia@:

2. poster, well its up to you. You can either accept him with all his faults, and hope for the best, or pray for God's guidance.

Thankfully I have other first dates lined up, and a few second dates with some really nice men. It's a really slow process, but I'm hopeful I will find somebody suitable.

I'll leave that guy for someone else.

omega25red:

dude is already physologically abusing you before he even started a relationship with you. the only thing i would give the guy is the fact that he told you the truth on the first date.

on the other hand do you have all the qualities you are demanding?

The two qualities I "demanded" were a job and a home. I think it's perfectly reasonable for any man who is serious about getting married and having children to have these in place before looking for a wife.

I mentioned before that I work for a large law firm in London (I'm a lawyer) and I have owned my own home in London for over 10 years. I have also never been married and have no children.

Orikinla:

Just investigate and verify every claim before you commit yourself with any Nigerian and other strangers online or offline. May God help you.

Thank you Orikinla. It's quite easy to research someone who has lived in the UK all their life. I'm not sure how simple it would be to investigate someone who has come from Nigeria though. I wonder whether there are any companies that offer that service in Nigeria?

I'll be sure to do a thorough investigation of anyone I meet online before getting serious.

Sam xiu lee:

Need to add,single Men & women who are migrants from Naija to uk are in battle of survival, that explains why they act like that way you shouldnt carpet all Nigerian Men like that,I surely knw that its a different story for the ones in the US, the good lord will bring the 1 with good heart to you.

Thanks.  I thank God every day for all the opportunities I was given, and thank my parents who had the good sense to make me take up those opportunities!  I think a lot of UK-born Nigerians feel that way.

The UK can be a very hostile place for blacks wanting to climb the career ladder, and even more so if you speak with a different accent, have degrees from an overseas university,  and are not familiar with "their ways".

Sam xiu lee:

Seriously,you are not going to meet Mr Right,Perfect or whatever you want to call it

I agree - I'm not looking for "Mr Right" or "Mr Perfect".   I'm looking for someone I can have a happy life with.

Sam xiu lee:

On your story I dont think you should see the guy again and tbh try nd walk among your kinds (Naija born & bread uk citizens) to get what you are looking for,the rest over there are just vultures,if u train that guy,he's going to dump you soon as he is ok

Thank you for the advice.  It's much appreciated.

I've been online dating for a few weeks, and have met both Nigerian and English men. My parents are Nigerian, and I was born in the UK.

Last night, I went on a date with a Nigerian man who wrote on his online profile that he was a lawyer. I work for a large law firm in London, so I asked him a few questions about his work, and he admitted that he lied in order to meet professional women.

Although his profile stated that he was single with no children, he told me that he had three children living in Lagos with his sister, as he divorced his wife last year for infidelity.

He also informed me that the kind of man I wanted did not exist (a man with a job and his own home), and at the moment, he is living in a shared apartment with many other Nigerians.

He suggested that I married him, sponsored his professional education and "trained" him to be the kind of gentleman I want. The training would involve career coaching (he wants to be a lawyer), polishing his writing skills, and giving elocution lessons in order to get rid of his accent.

He also said that women should be submissive to their husbands, which left me very confused.

I should add that he hadn't had a job since August, and did not appear to have money for drinks during the date, but instead, drank from a bottle he kept in his bag.

This morning he called to arrange a date for tonight, and I told him that I didn't think we were a good match. He became very angry with me, and accused me of being "too fussy" and snobbish.

He accused me of looking for the "perfect man" and said I would be single forever with my attitude, then hung up.

My friend says that his behaviour was typical of Nigerian men, but I think he was an opportunitst and a disgrace to Nigerian men.

What do you think? I'd really appreciate your input.

Wow!

It's taken me ages to read through all of your replies, and I'd like to thank everyone who contributed - even the people who made nasty comments, as I learned a lot from those too. 

Last night, I thought long and hard about what I was desperate for - was it a man or was it children?  I realised that I'm desperate for children and feel that I'm running out of reproductive years.  I had always held on to the belief that I should be married before having children, and as many of you have pointed out, I have enough resources to support children on my own.

So… I've decided to let go of that belief, and I'm going to find a fertility clinic that deals with single women, get some tests done to work out my chances of reproducing naturally.  I'll think about my options after I get my test results (Fluid donation, adoption etc.)

This morning, I went into work with an open mind, and realised that there were lots of men (single and divorced) that I had overlooked because they were white or asian.  Many of them are even senior to me at work and most far exceed my criteria. 

At work, there are lots of networking and social events.  I'm now going to view these as opportunities to meet eligible men!  I've also joined some dating sites, in the hopes of meeting a nice man.   Although I've opened my heart to you on this forum, I won't give any indication of desperation on these dates.  (This is one of the reasons I have not put my email address or photo on nairaland.com) 

Although I plan on going to Nigeria to visit relatives, I will not be looking for a husband there.   I have the distinct impression that a woman who is unmarried and childless at 40 isn't well-regarded in Nigeria, whereas in the UK, no one (amongst my professional friends and acquaintances) even notices, as many professionals get married late. 

Also, my aunt's advice wasn't right for me: I would never be happy with a man who was only interested in me for my British Passport.  I'd rather be a single parent than face the kinds of problems some of you have mentioned on the forum.

I won't be commenting further on this topic, but I'd like to thank the following people for their compassionate replies:

2buff
boobyman
toba
coogar
MRbrownJAY
sexsinners
soreola
tpacalipse
Cuddlemii
eGuerrilla
Alorauk
Egocent
Somagirl
aloy-emeka
NatGas
http
corona46
Columella
shegosay
Leffe2010
ZE
Ivynwa
freshera
ifedun2

coogar:

these methods would take you another 9 yrs.
you need to fast-track! dating sites are full of rogues and church conferences are filled with women in their 20s.

How do I fast-track??

Okay everyone.  Thanks for all your suggestions.  I'll definitely take the following on board:

[list]
[li]Make relationships my priority
[/li]
[/list]
[list]
[li]Join a few dating sites
[/li]
[/list]
[list]
[li]Go to a church that offers conferences for singles
[/li]
[/list]
[list]
[li]Say "yes" to a white or asian man if he asks me for a date
[/li]
[/list]
[list]
[li]Don't dismiss a man who is unintelligent but honest, single and hardworking[/li]
[/list]

coogar:

the desperate ones among them now target men that are attached and terrorize the men's spouses.

This is exactly what I'm trying to avoid, and is why I insist that the man I'm dating is SINGLE.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
look within yourself as the problem is right there: YOU!!!!!

as they say, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
after 10yrs, you should have accepted that your "technique"/approach wasnt working and should have made changes, why didnt you? searching for 18yrs, oh lawd!!!

Okay, I take the point that I need to look within myself.  I've had relationships during the 18 years, but they just didn't work out.  

MRbrownJAY:

also what is important in your life?! if job is your priority in life then accept that, where you live, there may not be too many brothas and thus lower your chances of getting the right guy. if you could, you should have moved to a place where there is more good intelligent single black men aka AFRICA/CARIBEAN etc!!!!

also, you gotta adapt to your surroundings, so dating whites (if thats the only available specimens that are out there) should be on the menu. . . . . . .you could also try Asians etc

its not too late, you just need to figure out WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU RIGHT NOW!

I'm not looking for more promotions now.  And you're right, I haven't considered moving to Africa or the Caribbean.  According to many of the people on the forum, I'm past my sell by date.   Maybe these are things I should have been doing 10 years ago.     Maybe I should consider dating white or asian men now.

tpia@:

if you get a good man who isnt intelligent, [dont know if thats an oxymoron], then you'd need to adjust your own attitude and not come across as snobbish, arrogant or snotty.

You're right.  It's hard to be humble in the kind of work I do, and I do come across as arrogant sometimes.  This is something I need to work on.

boobyman:

why not go to church,attend singles conference,socialise and above all pray to GOD.Dont give up

Thank you so much for your kind words,  Can you suggest some churches that do singles conferences?

r231:

^^^^^^hahahaha

well she don pass her SELL BY DATE

These are the kinds of comments I get from relatives.  They're really hurtful.  

Tosinville:

OP, u talk as if you're the only black living in that state/country and u find it hard to see a man that meet up to your criteria? Oops! u are so ful of your damn self.

40yrs old? eh! thats above expiring date for many men.

Spiritual Husband is really tormenting your life.

Lastly, when u come over to Nigeria don't forget to visit the nearest CCC 4 remedy.

Sorry if I offended you.  So far all the men who have met my criteria have not been single.  I refuse to date a married or unavailable man.  

Can you tell me what a CCC is please?

tpia@:

you're being too picky.

weird that in 18 years you didnt find a black man who met your criteria. It simply doesnt happen that way.

in any case, to cut a long story short, i'd suggest you either try dating sites or go to nigeria like your aunt said.

also, if anyone is interested in you, who isnt nigerian, you might give them a try?

i also suspect you only feel comfortable around men who are not single, or you dont really want to get married.

I really appreciate your feedback, but what part of my "single, intelligent, honest and hardworking" criteria is asking too much?  I don't want to date a married man, I have tried dating unintelligent men and it's been awful for both of us, and I don't do well with dishonest or lazy people.

I have dated non-Nigerian men.  I don't care about nationality.

My aunt was suggesting that I go to Nigeria and make an arrangement with a man who was prepared to marry me in exchange for getting a British passport.  I felt really uncomfortable about that.  It felt like "buying" or "bribing" a husband.

2buff:

Most of you are replying from naija, and so can't fully understand what the OP is allegedly going thru, if this is indeed a genuine problem.

As OP said, she's surrounded by whitefolk, and might not want to deal with that complication. So she's seeking a nigerian. Not everyone can handle the complications that interracial relationships bring up. I know what it feels like during the time I was only looking for naija girls to date and found no good one around worth the time as you're surrounded predominantly by other races. Got nothing to do with anyone being in jail for 18 years

Only time I would wonder is if she was actually in Naija where same-race men full ground and still having this issue.
Also OP, looks aside, do u have children?  

Thank you for GETTING my problem.   At university I was the ONLY black person on my course.  At work, I'm the ONLY black person around.  It's so difficult to meet black men in my day to day life!

I don't have children, because I wanted to wait until I was married before getting pregnant.

toba:

Me too im still single at 30

I hope you don't get flack from your relatives like I do. They act like it's my fault I'm not married. When my mum was single, she was turning down proposals, but no one has ever proposed to me!

When I suggest they introduce me to someone they think would make a suitable match, they clam up.

Goldieluks:

How long have you been following your father's advise for?20 years,30?

That's a good point.  I have been following my father's advice on many things for so many years, and its led to success in career and investments, so I put a lot of trust in what he says I've had some really awful dates with men who weren't well-educated, and didn't go further with them because I thought that the bad dates proved his point.  

tpia@:

sounds fishy.

how can someone say they couldnt find a mate in 18 years, when you're surrounded by people.

were you in jail?

.

Lol!  I work a lot (which sometimes feels like jail).  I am surrounded by white men at work, but don't find them attractive.  I've had a few relationships, but they didn't work out, and I've always wanted to wait until I was married before having children.

I really don't know what to do.  I've just turned 40 and I'm desperate to settle down and start a family of my own.

I'm attractive, I have a masters degree, my own house, and a great career but I can't find a nice man.  I don't go to clubs and bars, and only meet white men at work, and I don't find them attractive at all. 

My aunt suggested that I go to Nigeria to find a husband. She says there are a lot of men who would love to get a British Passport (I was born in England).  I don't want to do this, because I don't think that's a good basis for starting a relationship.

A lot of friends have suggested that I'm too fussy, but my father says that a woman should marry a man who is equal or better than her. 

All I am looking for is a man who is single, intelligent, honest and hardworking.  I worry that these kinds of men are already married, or if they are single, they want to settle down with younger women.

In case you're wondering why I didn't get married before, I've been looking for a relationship since I was 22, but no black men that I met who met my criteria (single, intelligent, honest and hardworking) were interested in me.  They all seemed to be taken.

What should I do?

Thanks