₦airaland Forum

IamTitanium: np; miley cyrus: we can't stop

ehya

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LWKMD!! I got this story from nairaland, it really
worth sharing. A user on Nairaland with the
username mr_*** shared this.
Guys forget the length of this story, its worth
reading, very very hilarious.
When i say weeed is bad, I mean its really really
bad!!
Oya, start reading!!
–
I had just moved out of my parents house and
was sharing a room with my “friend”. I had no
idea he smoked weed, despite his suspicious
movements and signature weed scent(abi na
odour?) barely two weeks after moving in with
him, my worst fears were confirmed as he started
bringing home his weed smoking buddies and
they would occassionally roll a wrap and smoke it
right there in the room or mix the weed with
beans or spagehtti.
Being a very curious person i always wondered
what made them happy after smoking, so i
decided to find out for myself(wrong move) It was
a very hot day in february, a saturday i think it
was, my friend was out as usual.
I searched everywhere for his stash but couldn’t
find it so i decided to go and get mine. I arrived
the weeed joint all sweaty and nervous, half
expecting to get muged but nobody seemed to be
aware of my presence there, they were all on
different planets all expect one i concluded that
he must be the seller so i approached him and
the following conversation ensued:
Me: how far?
Weed seller: i dey
Me: i wan buy weeed
Weed seller: how many parcel?
Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: laughs really hard. bolo leleyi sha
(meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, i
didn’t know that. I thought it was something very
large. I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a
tiny wrap of weeed with a white paper, i was
suprised when he gave me 950 as change.
I couldn’t believe weeed was that cheap. On my
way home, i decided not to smoke it but mix it
with beans because i thought that it will be
better that way(another wrong move).
Long story short, i cooked beans and added the
whole weed, ate it and called my friend, i told
him ogbeni i just ate weed oo and nothing
happened to me this one that you people will eat
and be feeling funky, i don chop am oo.
My friend was like ehen you be strong man ooI
decided to take a quick nap before doing
laundry, i woke up about 20 minutes later on the
floor i was banging my head on the floor, and i
couldn’t stop, my heart beat was so audible and
fast, everything was extra bright and extra loud.
After a few minutes of head banging, i was able
to get up from the floor, I felt as if i had just
gained access to a part of my mind that I never
knew existed previously, it was scary and cool at
the same time.
I could feel the blood flowing in my veins(you
have to experience it to believe it. Though I
strongly advise against it) i felt so uncomfortable
in the room, it felt like i was in an oven suddenly
a voice in my head wisphered ogbeni bo aso e
joor (off your clothes) i obeyed.
The voice came again oya sa re(now run) that
was when i realised that the weed had taken
effect so i decided to take a shower to see if it will
calm me down, but the water felt so hot on my
skin so hot i ran out of the bathroom.
I called my friend to see if he could help me make
sense of what was going on but he laughed at me,
he asked me the quantity of weed i took and i told
him i used a whole parcel, he said guyyyyy you
don eff up if you no sleep in the next 30mins, you
go mad oo go chemist make you go explain
yourself.
By this time things had escalated, i had a severe
itch at the back of my head that wouldn’t go
away no matter how hard i scratched and i was
convinced that the beating in my chest was an
evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch.
I ran to my neighbour champion and told him
champion e jo e fun mi lese laya (champion pls
punch me in the chest) ti e ba gbami lese laya mo
ma ku oo(if you don’t punch me i will die oo) he
hissed and walked out having had enough of such
nonsense from the boys in the boys quatters.
The voice in my head came again iwo na o de gba
ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni (why don’t you
punch yourself in the chest or do you want to
die?) i punched and punched but there was no
difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in my
head was getting louder, the itch in my head was
getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was
getting louder.
Then came the voice again oya ma sare lo(start
running) so i started running but on getting
outside in the sun, i felt so cold i was shivering
but that didn’t stop me from running (i would
have given husain bolt a run for his money on
that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realised i was bare
footed, i told him i had a severe headache i
needed something to make me sleep immediately,
he gave me the drug and i chewed it right there
in his presence, next i asked him to give me a
drug for evil spirit, that was when he realised
something was wrong with me and chased me
out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart
beat wouldnt let me, so i ran back out this time
around to a nurse in the area, first thing she
asked was kilode o wo bata ni? (why don’t you
have your shoes on? I told her jackie chan ti gba
bata lowo mi (jackie chan collected my shoes) i
was finally able to explain my situation to her and
she took me in, tied something around my elbow
and injected me directly in the vein.
I passed out immediately only to wake around 1
or 2am in the middle of the night with the worst
kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a
whole loaf of butter field bread in one sitting
without butter or tea.
I came home to a hero’s welcome, my friend told
me e be like say your head no carry am but e go
better make you try am once more so you go dey
use to it.
The following day while the house was empty, I
packed my Ghana must go and like the prodigal
son in the bible I went back home to my parents.
It’s been a few years since that experience but
the lesson I learnt is an unforgettable one.
My curiosity hasn’t gotten me in trouble again
and my circle of friends have since changed.
LOL. .
Lesson Learnt really

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