Efemena_xy:

What a truly condescending post!

You can't use religion to mask completely obliterate or deny physical needs. Tell me, how much fasting and prayer would one indulge in where the couple in question are sexually incompatible?

In situations where one partner has a high sex drive and needs it several times a day, most days of the week in a year? And on the other hand, you have an emotionally cold dead partner with an incredibly low sex drive who only sees sex for procreation? And who sees any form of 'extra' sex not intended for procreation purposes as a bonus? Or that you should be grateful to them for 'indulging' you? So what solution are you gonna proffer them? Endless fasting and prayers till thy kingdom come?

Why even ask? I bet you see fasting and prayer as a substitute to sex, and sex as you so eloquently put it, is nothing but a "carnal sense of Man" to be "rebuked" by fire-by-force. Abi? Go on, admit it.

It's easier for a man with a low sex drive to cope with the situation than for a woman with a higher sex drive. We all know how restrictive the African / Nigerian culture or setting is. At the end of the day, if the man's drive is higher and wifey can not meet his needs, he is at liberty to get a whole set of mistresses & girlfriends or even a new wife! Hell, society will even pat him on the back for being a real man.

But if it's the other way round, i.e, the woman having a higher sex drive (I bet you think having a high sex drive equates to terrible sin and doomsday...), then what options does she have?

~ Would society allow her indulge in an open marriage? No, I don't think so.
~ Would she be allowed to take on a lover? To meet her sexual needs? No, I don't think so.
~ Divorce, perhaps? Aha! But divorce is an admittance of failure na, abi?

I utterly hate prudishness and hypocrisy in all it's forms.

Ladies, if you wanna curl up and die slowly from having a frigid man after marriage, good luck to you lot sha. Just don't come back here weeping and gnashing your teeth that you have to beg your man to 'touch' you to initiate a perfectly normal act. If you wanna 'wing it' on blind faith, then go ahead.

As for me, I advocate seriously test driving that engine several times. If the guy isn't up to it, slap on on the back and tell him to take his under performing ar$e else where jare. Now that's my two cents worth.

I quite understood the premises of your argument. From human/fleshly point of view, you are correct with your reasoning at least as a human being because of our depraved nature.The truth is that we cannot entirely satisfy the flesh. Her demands is insatiable. Our reasoning, intellectual knowledge, exposure and education cannot change what God says is sin. The First time probably that you test run the first man that humbled you, there was a part of your conscience that felt guilty and that condemned you. That was the part of God that reminded you what you did was bad. Sex is good and God wanted us to enjoy it but legitimately. The truth is that Devil and the Flesh wanted us to satisfy our legitimate desires in an illegitimate ways so it can be called sins. So that the Judgement of God can fall upon us. So we can loose Gods favour. See the problem we have is that about 80% of us Christians are carnal. We do not entirely trust God that He is able to provide the best for us. I repeat God can never give his children what He knows will not befit them. Why call Him God and Lord, and never keep his commandments. Why do we call Him God and yet we cannot trust Him enough to lead us and provide for us what we really desires. Jesus said if you ask your father bread, will he give you stone? If you ask your father fish, will he give you snake? Your heavenly father knows your need and he will not give you a size that is bigger or smaller than you. God still lead his people today. He guides those who cares to obey Him. He directs their path. He speaks to them as to which man is fake or real. If it reamins 'small' for you to fall into a ditch or an unsecere man, He will let you kow. He has provided a way for us to know what lies in the future. We are not in dark anymore. He knows tomorrow, our future and We cannot regret if we truly let God lead us. We do not need to use fleshly sin to compliment God. Many things about tomorrow, I may not seem to understand. but the one who holds tomorrow is the one who holds our hands. You cannot by flesh, sin, sampling, test driving know entirely what lies in tomorrow/in a man or woman. You can only envisage and yet it will never last. Those who have tried these things as Christians, some regrets today because all that glitters in the flesh is just but for a momentary pleasures. I pray God help everyone reading this to understand that When we build our Trust in God, He is able to carry us through safely to a place of safety, satisfaction and unending joy not only in heaven but in this world

Many IDs I respected so much in the family section seem to be arriving at same conclusion(Chaircover, greatgod, debrief08,Jidegirl, Damiso and host of others). @ OP, I understand your stance and because you failed in one area of your christian race and you were not able to hold on tenaciously to the chaste principles of marriage demanded and commanded by God because of lack of faith/or because you can not walk with God like Abraham,who does not know where He was going but moved by the act of faith. Trusting the eternal God than the carnal sense of Man, doesn't mean you should generalized or undermine practically what God condemns. I understand God has Forgiven you but don't use that cloak to excuse others into it. Many may not have that second chance to retract and that may damn their souls. As a Christian, don't let your own weakness or mistake push you to teach things that are not motivated or that are contrary to the word of God because everybody is doing it. There is a grace that saves and there is a faith in God that can gives all intending couples what they desires to get but not through sin. The Flesh will always give suggestions, the devil will always try to make you defile the bed, friends will always try to push you to doing it but these are temptations. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, admonish younger women to be chaste even if you fail in your own time. Rebuke, exhort and encourage women to hold on to faith. Counsel them that they can hold on. Marriage is honorable in all but bed undefiled but whoremonger and adulterer God shall judge. It doesn't matter whosoever has done that, the standard of God does not change. The foundation of God standeth sure. Stop helping others or yourselves to excuse themselves into sin. IF we truely believe God can save and can give us all what we need while do we then rely on self. The way of self is the way of damnation. May God help us all to stick to the truth of Gods word even when we have failed in the time past. Strive to enter in at the straight gate, for broad is the way that leads to destruction and many therein that gooes through that part. I respect you a lot. please change your stance and enocuage intending couples not to follow your path or mistakes you have made. Help them to know that when they sincerely and truely serve God and did not work by sight or by calculation, God will give the more than the package they have been longing for. It will be so satisfying.

@OP,
The christian race is a walk of faith. We walk by faith and not by sight. All what Christian marriage entails- prayer, compatibility, true love,partner selection and others must be carried out in faith. I have never heard of someone that walked by faith and yet was ashamed. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I think the poster is trying to import carnal ideas and equate them to the things of faith. You do not need to sample anything through sin. Your heavenly fathers knows what you really desire, what you want and what fit you most. If you are really a child of God, He will give you what is best for you. Stop teaching christian singles things that will corrupt their mind. God is a perfect match maker. This is why many churches today tends to be carnal and teach carnal ideology.Imagine if the OP is a woman leader in the Church. Is this what She will teach intending couples to do? There are couples who waited on God with true faith and got more than they ever wanted. Commit thy ways unto God and He will give the the desires of thy heart

Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. Luke 13: 24.
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Philippians 2:12

I am taken aback by the comments from so many called Christians on this Forum. The essence of Christian faith and the possibility that we are going to make it to heaven is centered on keeping the word of God. With all due respect, Pastor Kumuyi my pastor and he is an ardent preacher of the word of God but the truth is that Christians are called to Follow Christ and the word of God. If you tailor your faith and christian walk after men(pastors, Apostle, etc), the chance that you will be disappointed in the last days may be high. What will happen to you if men changes? So to everyone, The wedding of pastor Kumuyi Son has nothing to do with our faith. Our faith is built of Christ and nothing else. It is Jesus Christ that can only certify you for heaven and not pastor Kumuyi. He is also running his own race and hope to finish well. The same goes to His son and the bride. Lets try and make our own calling an election sure and forget about how other people are running. If some try to bend Gods word to fit in to their status, leave them with God. You just try to finish your race well. Don't follow man but follow Gods word. It is a sure prophecy that will be able to save you in the end.

THIS SO CALLED CELEBRITY IF YOU GUYS CELEBRATE GOD WHAT WILL HAPPEN?

MY dear it is very bad to do that as a child of God, what ever is 4 u will come age will not be a barrier to it. T he bible says thy should not lie and when we do that, that means God is not our father, but the son or daughter of Satan because he is father of all lairs. Don't worry be happy just be faithful God will bring your own job for you. thanks and God bless byou.

TOO BAD 4 HUMAN BEING . THE PARENTS OF THE GIRL SHOULD ASK THEM TO CONDUCT DNA TEST TO KNOW WHO IS THE REAL FATHER OF THE CHILD.
NOTHING LIKE SETTING MARRIED TO A REAL CHILD OF GOD. UNBELIEVERS CAN GO EXTRA MINDS,OTHER SHOULD LEARN FROM IT, NOT JUST READING IT VERBALLY BUT LET US USE OUR TONGUE TO COUNT OUR TEETHES

MY FRIENDS IN NAIRALAND, what is this valentine day 4? to many it look very unique, the most memorable day, which ever it means in our minds. Listen to this story in year 2005,pretty girls about five of them in Imo state when for this so valentine after eating and drinking on their way coming they had accident and die. now where is the valentine day to them? wht am say the valentine is just nothing friends, look @ wht happened in BRAZIL recent in the club 245 people just die instantly. and the bible say that wht ever we do let it be to the glory of GOD. That time u will used to give val. pls. i beg give it to God, this word is vanity upon vanity, 2cor 5:17 say therefore if any1 be in CHRIST he/she is a new creature old things has pass way behold new thing began. Roman 10:9 That if thou
shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt
believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the
dead, thou shalt be saved.OD BLESS

JESUS IS THE ANSWER TO ALL

THANK U & GOD BLESS

Brother and sister JESUS is the answer to everything in life. We need to give our life to our MASTER for it shall be well with us bountifully.

t4tgirl: Hi,
There is no way she will be given an exemption unless she is over 30 as at her graduation or has served in the military. Not even on medical grounds! Her best bet is to ignore the call up letter and apply for remobilization whenever she returns.(Even if she is over 30 at this time she will still have to serve)
I graduated in 2003 and just returned this year. I was remobilised in batch B got posted to Kano and again ignored it. I just got posted to Bayelsa and by the grace of God, I will report at camp on Thursday.

Thank you for this wonderful explanation. It was very informative. Thanks once again.

ACNBB: She can serve whenever she returns,I'm just now getting mine done, graduated in 2006. Now, I don't know why she'll consider exemption though...thought that was more health related or if she completed her studies after 30yrs old.

Thanks for your response. So all she has to do is to ignore the call-up letter until the time she is ready. am I right?

ucforu: she can apply and she can be exempted but Since she is still in her mid twenties, i think applying for exemption is not the best option {to me},

its better she keep the service pending till when she is ready.

she can always apply for remobilization {if and only if she is planning to come back and do it b4 she clock 30 }

i hope this helps...........

Thanks for your contribution

She just graduated and about to be mobilize for NYSC and at the same time her Visa to join Hubby abroad before Xmas is ready. She would like to have her NYSC exemption certificate should they eventually return to back home after their sojourn abroad for any important position in the future. She is in her mid-twenties, so she feel she could not apply for NYSC exemption certificate because she is not up to 30 years . Please can she still go ahead and apply for NYSC exemption certificate? Would she be considered? Please what best way can she resolve this because she can not do her NYSC because she has to travel

Please your kind response and advise is welcome.

Thanks

Sometimes in June 2012 I asked on this forum the likely questions one might expect during interview for Family Reunion Visa Applications for wives who wish to join their husbands legally in Europe. Although the tread was deleted following some unnecessary remarks by members of this forum because I was not country specific, I have decided to share some of the questions asked from me during the interview perhaps someone may find them useful in the future.

My Visa was approved by the home country after 4 months counting from the time I completed my interview in Nigeria. For prospecting wives who wish to apply for this kind of visa to European countries like Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Norway e.t.c, here are some questions you need to prepare for based on my experience

During the interview try to be confident, calm and precise when answering the questions

[b]Q1. What is your name?
Q2. What is your date of birth?
Q3. Where do you live in Nigeria?
Q4. What is your present address?
Q4. How much did your husband pay for your bride price?
Q5. Why do you want to join your husband?
Q6. What are your plans after getting there?
Q7. Can you tell us about your husband?
Q8. Can you tell us how your meet your husband?
Q9. What is the name of your husband?
Q10. What is the date of birth of your husband?
Q11. What is the meaning of the name of your husband?
Q12. What is the phone number of your husband?
Q13. What is your husband occupation?
Q14. When did you do your introduction and traditional wedding? Date and place
Q15. When did you do your court wedding?
Q16. Which country did your husband do his master degree?
Q17. How many countries have your husband lived in Europe
Q18. How long did he lived in that country
Q19. Which City is your husband living in at the moment
Q20. How long has your husband lived there now?
Q21. When He was studying abroad, were you communicating with him?
Q22. Did you know your husband before getting married?
Q23. Do you have children?
Q24. Why not?/how many
Q25. What is your occupation?
Q26. What is your qualification?
Q27. What is the qualification of your husband?
Q28. Does he play sports?
Q29. What is your husband is doing in Europe?
Q30. What kind of work
Q31. What is the name of the Company?
Q32. In which city does your husband lives in now?
Q33. What is the source of income of your husband there?
Q34. Do you know the amount he earns every month?
Q35. How much?[/b]


I do hope somene find this useful in the future.

Thanks
Admonition

I gave you the site in my first post but I think the moderator hide it. I do not know the reason why he did that

Admonition

I think you are psychologically and emotionally down because of the crash in your relationship. Usually this is what happens when greater percentage of one’s relationships is embellished with many bodily gratifications (sexual pleasures and satisfaction, high passions and desires for companionships, amusements and emotional satisfactions including so much togetherness). All these always mask the reality check of true love and often times we always misrepresents it as love.
These things have the capabilities of creating a deep hollow in our minds and emotions when they are not forthcoming. Hence the yearning to satisfy the hollow always leads us to cloudy judgements of how our next relationships should be. Sometimes the urgency to fill these emotional hollow makes us fall prey to the next devourer on the street who has no genuine love for us.
Let,s start from here?
What do you really miss in your ex that leaves you so hollow? Sexual gratifications, companionships, togetherness, financial back up etc...Or probably he satisfies your bodily needs as at time required? That is the monster you have to deal with. Be real to yourself for once and know that no man is indispensable. Only God has no equal. Tell yourself the truth and deal with your passions and bodily urge or else your judgement about true relationship will be cloudy. There are other better men who are willing to treat you like queen if you can guide your heart with all diligence instead of allowing the mesmerizing emotional urge to rule your life. Fill your emotions and heart with the love for God, career and in building worthwhile relationships. You have power over your mind, emotions and thoughts. Soon you will find out that there is more to life than revolving all your being around one boy/man who will eventually treat your pearl with disdain.

I hope you find this useful.
Admonition

@enKEL

I will advise you to go for the master degree in Germany if your course of study in Germany is directly related to your First degree and initial work experience. If you have up to 3 years of work experience and the master degree is in line with your initial work experience and you are sure of the skills you have acquired, your chance of landing an international job after the completion of your studies in Germany is high. If the course you want to study in Germany cannot directly enhance or accentuate your initial work experiences and skills, you may find it hard to stand out among the Europeans with respect to job. I can relate my experience briefly to you. It may help you to arrive at a concrete decision. I worked for 3 years in O&G in Nigeria, secured a full funding and left for master degree abroad (the course is line with my work experiences and my first degree). I have an international career today though I have a black skin, my initial work experiences and skills and of course GOD factor makes me to stand out among my peers who are mainly Europeans. A friend of mine (Nigerian) who has gained 2/3 years working experience in a notable O&G Company in Nigeria before honouring a full scholarship abroad for his master degree secured an international Job in O&G this summer ahead of his European counterparts before the completion of his program. There are many other Nigerians with similar experiences personally known to me abroad.
In a nutshell, what value will your course of study in Germany add to your initial work experiences and first degree? Is the course relevant to the skills you have acquired in your present O&G Company? If you cap your first degree and work experiences with the proposed master degree in Germany, can it make your resume to stand out internationally? If your answer is yes, you will do well in terms of job after the completion of your studies.

Thanks

Admonition

Sometimes, we tend to worry over things that only add small value to our lives. This may be one of the things. I think it will be good to ask yourself; is my friend really that important as compared to my family(husband)?. Even if your husband is control freak, Your friend can never be a husband to you if problem arise in your family because of her. Dear sister, with patience and humility coupled with wisdom on your side, try to act on the side of your husband for a while until you will be able to extract the reason why your husband never wanted you and your friend together. Something makes me believe it is for your own good. A good husband will always strive to seek for the welfare of his wife and family, and that may involve ostracizing them from people that can bring mayhem to the unity of the family. My assumptions may be wrong though.

Dear Bukfal,

As promiscuity and nudity becomes so prominent in our present society, coupled with the false facade propagated by the media as regards sexuality and 'hotnes' and the fact that so many women(classic or normal, married or single)have been induced into seductive dresses, abnormal exposure of their body and cheap sex without any iota of conscience, the degree of faithfulness in men has been seriously wounded. The truth is that in every corrupt society, there are sane people. They are just hard to come by. Faithful men and women are hard to come by but they do exist. You will never know a faithful person until there is real test and temptation into what He/She really like. You will need the searchlight of God to know a man/woman that will stand by you irrespective of the seduction/temptation that has made our society to cascade to the chasm of moral decadence, unfaithfulness, heartbreaks, divorce, cheating and the likes. To answer your questions, there are faithful men and women outside there with all the qualities you can ever desire. They have made up their mind not to flow with the foolishness of the society. I have been in Europe for about 3 years now, yet i have never done sex. I have had so many opportunity to do that with so many white girls and black girls but count me out. Really, it has not been easy because i see pretty seductive and senseless ladies as I go out to work everyday especially during this summer and plus the fact that one is biologically sound. But all that cannot move a decided man/woman who has stability within.I will never be that cheap to fall for it, imagine that is what I always think. funny though. This kind of men/women are hard to come by but if you depend on God, He can give you one. But have you also asked yourself this question: are you faithful and reliable? Will you fall for a bait when it so appealing? Have you lustfully thought of a guy who is not your husband though your hubby dont know about it? that where it start from. Let your conscience answer for you.