Dyt:


He should rape her?
Beat her or what exactly?

I can't rape someone none will I ever beat her even though she can be annoying. I have a daughter whose future I must through my actions and inaction guide.

My daughter is main reason I am suffering this.

handysuzy:


I am really sorry about this....

Well, it is not your fault that I find myself in this position.

handysuzy:


And she doesnt give you enough sex? Something is wrong. If we are always at home together 90 percent of the time ama fvck your brains out mehn....How long have you been married?

1 year plus

See my thread to understand better.

https://www.nairaland.com/3371723/need-matured-advise-married-nairalanders

cococandy:


Well that's bad. Speaks of maybe deeper issues than childcare, house chores and lowered libido.

This is another instance, she knows I have been moody all day and didn't eat the break fast she cooked and aside the rubbish from Mr Biggs I haven't eaten anything all day. I have practically unusually stayed guelled to my laptop. Now only me and her are at home. Her sister, brother, sister's boyfriend and family friend who are with us currently have all gone out but rather than coming to me in order to find out what was wrong, she is doing making up. THIS IS SOMEONE WHO IS NOT GOING ANY WHERE. The only reason for the making up is the youtube videos she has been watching trying to learn make ups, something even she confirms she does not intend taking professionally.

Is that a problem caused by the baby too? Note the baby was carried along by her sister. Only me and her in the house.

sexymoma:
Na rich man wife symtoms dey worry her
i nor know why rich man wife dey behave like that
person wey get head nor get cap.. mtcheew
abeg i nor fit chout...

I'll advise you to ignore her...
if she dey watch youtube...
pretend as if you calling someone..like let ya phone ring nd jos excuse yasef from the palor
do am like 2weeks... Sir she'll sit right.

Richman? I am just on of those guys. If you think I am rich based on building a house you are wrong. I am building that with deductions from my monthly earnings.

But I am rich in Christ.

cococandy:


Well that's bad. Speaks of maybe deeper issues than childcare, house chores and lowered libido.

This was why I was hurt by your initial submission but decided to keep mute. I am not all about sex, but the romance, the respect and affection towards each other is important.

I can't remember when last she on her own attempt kissing me. When she is wrong, I practically beg her to apologise to me. I believe one should apologise when they are wrong. It is just respectful and normal. My conclusion is, she knows me, she knows I have almost zero chance of changing my person just so to punish her and she is taking advantage.

I simply can't change because someone changes. I don't believe in that. I have a standard, I try not to compromise it. I am not a saint, not close but have a high standard.

It is not about chores. The only real chore she has is the baby. Her sister does the cooking most times unless on times I insist which is rare. I take a list of items she wants to buy and go to market for her, ever since we have been married, she only went to market two times on her own. And 2 times with me. Rest is me going using her list and was like that when we were dating so much a lady accused me of being stingy which is outright wrong.

forlahkhe:
My sister, God go bless u. @Op, lemme tell u some of d reasons i deny my husband sex too. My husband is ONLY romantic when he wants to have sex. U cant rest ur head on his shoulder, he wld complain dt he has gone to work since monrning and wants to rest. If he allows u to rest on him then he wld ask for sex. He WONT play wt me unless it wl end wt sex. He wld always excuse himself frm taking care of our child saying sebi he is d 1 providing d basic needs. He doesnt slp in d same room wt me nd my baby unless he wants to av me.......So, i always feel being used. We have nt attended a party together as a family since 2yrs dt we got married, he wld say our baby wld b dosturbing wt cry cry.......so all ds has reduced my libido entirely. When i tried talking to him abt it, he wld say im an ingrate, he is providing money and i stl want him to assist wt chores. When i tell family members, they wld say i shd go nd pray..........So, @Op, everytin is nt money o, women want to b re-assures that they are loved. Sometimes u take her(only) out for dinner and d likes just to rekindle ur love

Like I said in your thread, without no malicious intention, you are with an idiot. Sorry to day but it is fact. My word wife is the exact opposite of you while I am the exact opposite of your husband. I initial all the romance. My wife hardly ever says I love you not to talk of initiating romance. This made me ask her couple of times if I disgust her.

debbydee:
Hmmm

Op my little advice for you is that you take it easy with her. Like you said she put to bed not too long ago and that she is nursing a baby. Firstly nursing a baby is not an easy task either boy or girl. As a woman ages the urge for sex reduces not to talk of one who has given birth. For now give her all the support she needs and assist her in caring for the baby when its time for sex prepare her. Make it more romantic and fun filled not just monotonous. You can also go on a get away leave your baby behind and enjoy your self.

As regards breakfast i will suggest you discuss this with her or better still take it upon yourself.

I suggest you read my other posts on this same thread.

It is more like a spite to be honest. I am not asking for too much. Say no to sex without being malicious and learn to say sorry. The spiting is the real issue here. Becoming unacceptable.

cococandy:
OP first of all she does own her body. So yes you should see it that way. Not that I encourage rudeness if any.

And a 5month old baby? Dude make your own damn breakfast! Do you wake up the feed and nurse the child at night? Do you know how stressful it is to nurse a baby through the night only for the moment you want to rest, for someone else to start demanding attention to their own needs too.
I can't begin tell you how insensitive it is for you to even complain that your breakfast is late. Yea she doesn't work. Why don't you switch places with her for a week and see how easy her job is.

At 5 months postnatum, you should be bringing her breakfast in bed. Or at least not bother her to make it for you except she wants to.

For the sex thing, I still think you're the problem. If you consider 3 times a week for a woman who just had a baby as too little (when regular couples sometimes don't even get it that much,) then no wonder she's reacting the way she is. How many times did you want it before? 3 times a day? Maybe you should go back to your job so you have time for other things in your life than bugging your postnatal wife for daily sex.

I know I sound harsh but sorry I can't get over how insensitive you sound.

Read thorpido's post more. It's a kinder version of mine. Bye:

I don't get 3 times a week not that I am complaining three times a week is too much.

So because you nurse a baby overnight you wake up 10am? How about going to bed on time too? I work most times 16 hours per day shall I give that as an excuse for not feeding the family too?

[quote author=Iamhatey post=49685694][b]Well, check yourself out bro.

How romantic are you
Are you only romantic when you want to have sex or you don't know how to put her in the mood even before you ask for it

I am fairly romantic but who enjoys being turned down. How many times have I tried to initiate romance and get excuses.

Three days ago, I had to insist we both won't sleep at home that we sleep in an hotel and leave the baby behind. It was a big war. She no gree until I used force and even getting to the hotel after eating she concentrated on her phone till I BLASTED her and told her she needs the help of another girl.

Forget about her having peeps around to take care of the baby, do you help her with the baby at all

If you know me, I would have said you are insulting me. My own child? Knowing fully well the time I spend with her now will determine how close or distant she will be with me in the future? A child I have been dreaming off? I went to get two hours nap just now as I couldn't really write ( I am a writer ) and while going instead I was saying to myself " I have the best daughter in the world at least".

Just TALK and act like a MAN. Help her in the kitchen too. Even gisting with her in the kitchen is another way of helping. I did not say you should wash plates(not bad if you do too because you are helpmates).

I can't always be in the kitch with her as I have a serious allergy problem/almost like I am asthmatic but I really am not.

thorpido:
You say you have a 5mth old baby right?Your wife is still nursing so hormones are still working in her that affects sexual urges.Moreover,women don't always want sex.FACT
There's nothing wrong with wanting sex 3 times a week but only few women want it that much.You're the one who might have to make adjustments here.The fact that you married a woman as a man does not mean she has to be a light switch that puts on a bulb anytime it is pressed.

I thought of this but there are usually a way to say No without hurting the other person and if you constantly say no, when you then want it, you shouldn't be hurt and resort to malice when the other person also says no to you.

I wish I can reveal my real identity here and have the couple of people on here who know me to my house even before I got married to comment. I can be very understanding but I hate when you are being disrespectful. See for instance, we recently decided to change apartment as I was spending too much on fuel due to the constant heat in the house we were leaving. We want house hunting, she came up with one excuse to the other as to why she can't do the house hunting. I took up the task. I searched and searched and searched. Couldn't find anything tangible. Got one for 620k which I like. I told her to go and check it before I paid. I told her repeatedly she kept coming up with one excuse to the other. I made the payment only for her to go and check yesterday and was complaining the palour was small which I find insulting considering I have told her to go and check it severally. The least I expected is sorry, nah oo, she can't say sorry and this issue of not wanting to apologise has made me to invite her mother over once over a more serious issue than sex and food for which she refused to apologise.

You say you're not working.You having too much time makes you think of sex all the time.Perhaps you need to channel some energy into doing other things.I'll suggest a gym.

I honestly do not think 3 times a week is bad. And many times I work 12 hours per day including weekends as I don't enjoy watching TV. My only way to relax is to play with my baby as wify is busy with instagram , youtube or Magic Africa.

If your wife doesn't prepare breakfast early enough,perhaps you should do it yourself.In marriage you should help each other and also lighten each other's burden.

I am not a good cook but I still try to cook but I can't and I won't do it all the time. I work, practically run a joint account with her just so she doesn't have to ask for money before she gets it, and then will do the cooking in the house as well while she watches TV. NAH. I rather do what I hate and did today - eat away from home.

Ginaz:


Maybe she has some internal issues with you, have you tried talking with her?

I have asked so many times without any thing said.

Ginaz:
Men and sex sha, o.p you need to understand that women don't usually have the urge like men always do 24/7.

When a woman is not on her heat period or isn't just in the mood, nothing can entice her. Maybe she's having low libido, your marriage is still young to worry over sex issues.

As for the cooking stuff, she has to change. I hope I won't have that habit cos I'm almost like her in the cooking aspects. I sabi do late tinx

If three times a week is too much they you should in all honesty not get married.

The real annoying thing is the way the NO is said. And as for the food, what's not acceptable is not.

afanide:
@op, do you engage in pre-intimacy before sex? Or you just jump on her and start the game?

Women like pre-intimacy so much and when this is lacking, issues like these come up.

What are her excuses? From there we would know how to channel our comments....

We can't just jump into conclusion at this point......

I enjoy fore-play more than her. She simply don't want to try anything. And I get the no even before trying anything. 90% of the time I make the move first and 85% of the time get no for answer which is sicking.

Her excuse - she is either tired ( watching youtube and Africa Magic ) or not in the mood. Or I demand for sex too much.

Okay let's not have sex oo, let's seat inside and talk, she rather youtube.

I have asked her many times if I am not attractive to her and if I disgust her and she said no.

PaperLace:

Uncle, go and get it na.
3times per day? You guys don't have 'regular jobs' or what?
Your wife's attitude is bad though. I remember a thread where a woman complained of this issue, for the first time I saw practical advice from NLders. Some even suggested natural libido boosters.
I was amazed and impressed.

So, uncle adviceseekerr, go google remedies for ya wife.

Per week I meant to write. She doesn't have a job FOR NOW as we both agreed to that. I am my own boss and work from home 90% of the time.

Jobia:
I see his kind of men everyday on this forum.

If it were me i would leave the idìot. Imagine telling you to your face that he will 'get it' outside, after you sacrificed your job for the marriage. Mtchw.

Hope you have something to sustain you though..

So it is an idiot who will tell his wife he will go outside? I have told my wife the same thing at least 3 times and I meant it.

Women need to get serious. The OP's case is totally different from mine because to be honest, he is with an idiot. Only an idiot will not want to see his own child. It is madness actually. But in a case whereby your wife thinks she can deny you sex ( when you only ask 3 times per week) and expect you to get it whenever she wants and will go any mile to get it nko?

Sex is not the be it all of marriage, but it is very important too.

Solved