₦airaland Forum

Pheeew! Dis place has become a court of law wit cases all of a sudden!

hi bak @peejee
how do u mean urs isnt dere? or u dnt want ur to know ur combo?

@shola and @romade, he's just trying to be friends now,
u guys should undastnd beta,

well, mine goes "i ate out a cat because im as sexy as hell"
wht a combo. lol.

Hello everyone, i saw this somewhere and it looked real cool,
i decided to share it here, i dont know if u have seen dis b4,
but participate cos its much fun.
Enjoy!!!


PICK THE MONTH YOU WERE BORN IN,

Jan - I cuddled with
Feb - I killed
Mar - I ran shirtless with
Apr - I slept with
May - I killed
Jun - I banged
Jul - I needed
Aug - I ran naked with
Sept - I stabbed
Oct - I ate out
Nov - I raped
Dec - I smoked with

PICK THE DAY (DATE) YOU WERE BORN ON,

01 - the kool-aid man
02 - a horse
03 - a IndecentStar
04 - a toothbrush
05 - Santa Claus
06 - a bag of weed
07 - a lesbian
08 - a jew
09 - a ninja
10 - a homo
11 - Paris Hilton
12 - the trojan man
13 - a LovePeddler
14 - a cat
15 - a pickle
16 - a glass of milk
17 - a bisexual
18 - Your Mom
19 - an orange
20 - a crackhead
21 - a bowl of cereal
22 - an easter egg
23 - my ex
24 - a condom
25 - a jar of honey
26 - a prostitute
27 - a homeless guy
28 - a french fry
29 - your dealer
30 - a stripper
31 - Your grandma

PICK THE COLOUR OF TOP U HAVE ON RIGHT NOW, (if ur topless go with black, lol)

White - Because thats how i roll
Black - because im sexy as hell
Pink - Because the lil people told me to
Red - because I have AMAZING boobs
Blue - because I'm a love-vendor and your jealous
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm gay
Gray - because I love marijuana
Other - because I have double D's
Green - because I'm beautiful
Orange - because I smoke crack
Turqoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Brown - because i had to
Shirtless - because I've got abs

LEAVE YOUR SITUATION, lmao!!!!

@chookym
nah it was at suntan beach!

Last year late december at the beach, i waz having all the fun in the world and afta eating and dancing to music, i decided to go into the water to have fun. meanwhile i had on a bikini, my brother took my hands and told me he wanted to take me farther into the water, i waz a bit scared but i followed. halfway way in the water, there comes this mighty wave and before i knew it i waz under the water struggling to surface up and i had lost my brothers grip, i eventually surfaced and i was facing dose sitting on the sand and i realized they were laughing and looking at my chest, i looked down and saw my that my tits had popped outta my bikini, and i waz there trying to use my hands to cover them, there comes anoda wave and my showercap comes off my head, meanwhile i was strugglling to get the showercap and at the same time cover my tits wit both hands.fortunately for me, my sister came to my front to block everyone's view and my brodas friend helped retrieve the shower cap. it was then i was able to rearrange myself.  i was so embarssed but wen i think abt that day now, i just laf at it!

Guys check out this jokes they were forwaded to me.
Enjoy!

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife
dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she
purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

**************************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the
driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door
and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your
bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack,
beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she
said. "Just get out."

**************************************************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right, and the other is a husband.

**************************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a
driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

**************************************************

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said
to them,

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of
gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so
tired of chardonnay."

**************************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!
TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE
are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to
STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them!
Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong
with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple
of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you
what it feels like when I'm driving."

Shows people can be so blind even when they ve something rite in front of them.
Nice one

FFO(ForFoodOnly)

Ha ha,
The magga did not mean business, or else wht happened to the roof of the building if he really wan die!!

Nice1!

no im not crazy no harm meant anyways.
i think you are cool ok.

sweetkinky

wht does bookworm knows? they are only very naive!

nuttypanky

yes i no, but the nuttykinky ones dont know.

Tray baby

Ray Jay's baby

Jay Z, Ray Jay, which one of them do u have a crush on?
Be sincere

i sure mean it arent u a really naughty kinky person?

u are a really naugthy kinky person!

Ah! Ah! ah!
I think dats really kool except before u do up to 10 of those things they would ve called the psychiatrist home and as u re getting out of that room, they are smuggling u to the hospital.

Im glad that ve been getting alot of responses from this post and i want to thank nairaland for the opportunity to advertise myself.
I also want to appologize for the late response to your mails and calls ve been kind of busy. im assuring you all that you are with the right person to do your jobs.
Thank you all and dont forget to contact me if you have a website job!

I dont design magazines, only websites, also database programming and java u can contact me through my email address if you need any job done.

number 2

My name is Joy and i'm a professional website developer and designer, i would like to use this medium to reach out to you to contact me as i wait to hear from u soon.
You can reach me on my e-mail address which is okomoluv@yahoo.com and spicybaibe4eva@yahoo.com
I hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks.

nairapo

Dont u just hate is when your boyfriend eats garlic?

eve keh

sleep

yes



ever eaten gallic b4?

dojo!


have i met u somewhere b4?