₦airaland Forum

This is so lovely...

Happy Isese Day!

I will have to see if the Mod will push it to the front page or discriminate.

Btwn, this he deserves front page like other religions celebration.

Alaigbomaster:
How's he better?

Individual.

Maybe I should say I prefer him and rate him better than Enzo

ojehmario1969:
That Bellingham deal is worth close to 120 euros based on add-ons and bonuses
Initially, it was 140m euros price tag

The guy is worth every penny compared to the current market price.

ojehmario1969:
English players and their heavy price tags

BD have OFFICIALLY announced Jude
Bellingham is leaving for Real Madrid.

He's better than Enso Fanadez who cost more than him

nikkygal:
So don't you think you're cutting off your nose to spite your face here? I mean you don't mind damaging the psyche and emotional stability of your children just because you want to teach your wife a lesson?

Is your wife willing to reconcile? Is she remorseful or apologetic about any of her past actions? I'll say, you should give it a deep thought if she's wanting to work things out with you.

It's obvious you're being vindictive and you need to chill because you might win the battle but lose the war ultimately if you're not careful. Kids are very sensitive and disagreements between parents affect the kids a lot more than you can imagine. I believe you should let your love for your kids override that inner selfish ego trip to 'show your wife pepper'. If there's a possibility for reconciliation, please reconsider it.

However, in the absence of reconciliation, ensure you manage things cordially with your ex-wife to limit the effect of the separation on the kids.

You should know how your gender behaves when you Bleep up. Well, to me, it has ended the day she packed out and nothing can revive it.

I am planning to adopt soon.

They are still underage, the only luck she gets for now.

solmusdesigns:




Wow


I went to eat at a mama put and some women got talking

The normal Ibadan hood women, traders and vendor

They said in their Neighborhood Yahooboys won't let them rest with the Sounds of Generator from morning till night as they don't work, and they also go clubbing disturbing them at night

They said with subsidy removal least the money would go to power generation for the whole country and other infrastructure

If these women could understand its Economic importance, I wonder why some educated folks are against it, especially the NLC boss


Nigeria has over 11,000 Abandoned Projects

Fix Ajaokuta with USD 1.2billion and Nigeria would become a manufacturer of steel-based products





.

It's not like they don't understand or like it, but the wrong person is implementing it for them.

They simply don't like the government.

Kobojunkie:
1. Your post made it seem like what she was seeing and feeling was all wrong. That the red flags which presented themselves even before she went into the union with her husband were not real but imagined.

2. Marriage is an agreement signed between a man and a woman. When one party refuses to keep his end of the bargain/agreement, that marriage is already violated. OP has been married to herself through the course of her marriage as she described — she has been living as a glorified single mother (with a "Mrs Badge).

3. He didn't require encouragement for marriage, to have kids, na to do what he most given the responsibilities he chose to take on his person that he requires encouragement for? Who is to give him this? His mother and father? Or do you want to turn his wife into a mental healthy counsellor for his sake as well?

4. If she wants to then ask her to pay her way while you pay just for the kids who are equally yours. Or you can go to court to have your marriage legally dissolved and custody shared between you both so you can have your kids for a period too. .X

I choose to reply to the bolded only because I don't want to go further on the lady's case.

I have access to my kids, though sometimes she insisted I picked them up myself not knowing the brain behind it. But I have full access to them, just that I don't want to see her in the picture of anything.

I know it's affecting my kids somehow but I believe it's the best decision for myself for now.

Kobojunkie:
Your story is completely different from the OP's but it is a story nonetheless!

1. You lost yourself and kept your wife in the dark or to the point that after carrying all the weight on her own for a while, she decided she had had enough and took the kids with her to live with her parents instead? During all that time, did you at least help her out at home or with the burden she bore? Or did you sit back as "King of the hill", like OP's husband, or what? And you think she was the problem on the whole?

2. Oh, you even concluded that your wife was to blame for the setbacks you experienced in your life?

3. You even go as far as to deny your own children opportunities because of your hatred of the same wife who tried her best before she finally concluded she had had enough of you not meeting up with your end of the bargain?

Yes, my story is different, but I just want her to see things from a different perspective, which is why I needed an account.

According to her story, she tried, but I don't think leaving him is the best option.

In that situation, was he gambling, womanizing, or beating her? I suppose not.

I believe he still requires additional encouragement and support.

I only say a few words about denying the kids UK travel because I don't want to talk about her too much. She believes I will not return the children to her if they travel, and she wishes to accompany them... Such a witty individual.

I wish the lady all the best with her decision.

Klass99:
The text in bold is the major difference between you and the OP's husband. You worked and made money and I am sure you also provided for your household. This man worked and no one saw the money when he worked, neither did he provide.

When things got bad for you, you made an effort to change the situation, it doesn't look like this man is making an effort or trying in the story. There's a difference between your story and hers, between you and her man. So, your advice can't work for her.

Let your children travel to the UK for summer, and expose them to a world of possibilities and new experiences through travel. Why on earth do you want to extend the vendetta to your kids? For lack of a better word I used vendetta but that's not the word I'm looking for. Later you people will say women are vindictive.

You are equally being vindictive to children who had nothing to do with your wife walking away. I mean like seriously? You won't send your kids to the UK for the summer because you don't want to have anything to do with their mother. You will need those same kids in your old age, it will be in your best interest if they are well-exposed, well-grounded and successful in this life o.

Hmmm.  
When you're going through a rough patch, it may appear to others that you're not doing enough. I was insulted repeatedly, even by my and her families.

And, once again, I believe the lady has made her decision and only needs people's approval to justify her actions.

I believe that raising the kids alone in the guy's house and being a man is preferable to raising them in her parents' house.

To be sure, I treat my children well whenever they are with me, and I intend to have full custody; until then, I will do little.

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and being a struggling guy with whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complaint.
Since last year my husband lost his job, and since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salary. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, family and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still goes back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. His response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bills, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide them, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling like this, my children will suffer. I feel I need someone who loves me and is willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibility, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to lose the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

I have been a regular Nairaland visitor, and I have never had reason to comment on any topic until now. The reason why I opened this account is to advise you because your story looks like mine from about 5 years ago.
 
My wife had this same belief over me at that moment. I had been working and making money before I met her, but things get worse after marriage and make me lose myself, and she believes I am lazy and not ready to work. For a few years, she's been there, and suddenly she stops being herself, and I believe she's been manipulated. I tried to convince her, but it seems she had made up her mind, so I had to behave like what will be will be.
 
She took my kids to her parent's house. It feels like I am going to die. There was a time I nearly ended it because she was the last hope, and the kids are the ones pushing me not to give up.
 
I struggle with life, but God finally picked up my call.
 
It feels like she's the one holding my progress afterwards, and I can now say I am a man and can do basic things after she left.
 
I haven't had a serious relationship since she left and I am not planning to have one, but I have made up my mind that my penny will not go to her.
 
There are times I want my kids to go to the UK for the summer, but I die it because I don't want to have anything with her again.
 
 
I share this because I want you to think very well before it's too late. You guys can still talk it out, and the guy might not be as lazy as you think.
 
May God bless you and help you make the best decision.