Kobojunkie:
Your story reads absolutely nothing at like OP'S story or situation which is that she has been living as the provider in her marriage for years now.

Kobojunkie:
1. I don't know it all but I know mental illness is not meant to be used as a cop-out by anyone.

Kobojunkie:
You didn't read the Op at all, or you intentionally wish to make light her situation in order to push your opinions. She has been carrying the burden in her home for years whereas your story reads that it has only been a few months for you in your condition. Why do you want to desperately make light of what may be OP'S sincere out cry here?

ahnie:
It's a simple case,no need for divorce.
Here's what you Will do.
Cook,give to the kids,any remainder,put in plastic takeaway pack or cooler.

Warn the kids not to ever give him their meals to eat,or they're grounded.

Try grow your business,add other streams of incomes to it.

I already pity your husband. So u want her to use the children to rubbish their father? O ma se o.

Try give yourself peace of mind,you would need it for the Israelite journey ahead.

Madam no matter what,do not ever indulge in extra marital affairs,e get why.

Take very good care of yourself ma'am.

I told you it's a simple mara.

When house rentage expires,before e expired,look for alternative place to stay,make sure he doesn't stay with you people

Exceed15:
When a wife narrates a story and doesn't mention one good thing about her husband, most likely she don add salt& maggi. It's just a phase, he will scale through.

Only God knows heap of curses and unprintable she has called him. You think he is useless?ok o

Men , pray nothing happens to your finance, that's when you know the woman you Married.

cococandy:


I’d bet she already did all that and anymore of it would actually be considered nagging.

Airdrophunter:
[/b]

I choose to reply to the bolded only because I don't want to go further on the lady's case.

I have access to my kids, though sometimes she insisted I picked them up myself not knowing the brain behind it. But I have full access to them, just that I don't want to see her in the picture of anything.

I know it's affecting my kids somehow but I believe it's the best decision for myself for now.

amSTARboy:


He seems irresponsible with your write up….
I suggest you take a break and go to your family….
Re negotiate your marriage contract….
Cheating is not an option.

NB: For better for worse…. You made that vow at the alter

ahnie:
In SS abavo precisely the women are the bread winners,same with women from my tribe and extracted tribe(urhobos)we were trained to never depend on a man and we grew up with that mentality to hustle and fend for our kids,and our men 78 percent grew up with that mentality that even if they do not provide,the wife would definitely hustle and care for the kids

ask4bk:


Stop showing everyone you are champion in hatred by coming publicly to teach one. It's a difficult situation but hate acts are not an option

Klass99:


You are so badass.....I like👍. The part where he went to lie to the landlady that you will pay the rent just off me completely 🤣.

@ Cococandy, yes o the bot has banned me four days in a roll in that section. I can't comment on our thread without chopping ban and I have an interesting story to share in line with recent discussions. The incident happened in the US sef but I love how the lady handled the situation.

emmyN:


If you were all trained to think that way, why do you now think that training was wrong. Shouldn't it be thought as being part of your culture?

JeffreyJunior:
If she had done that then I believe she has done her due diligence which will help her deal with guilt if it comes up any time later.

The ball is in her court now.

Whatever decision she intends to take, I hope she not only considers herself but her kids as well.

kokomilala:
@fyzaila, your assertion is fundamentally flawed. It's a cultural malaise. Our culture has been so warped that women are coerced into pinning all their expenditure as well as burdens on men. It's not a universal thing. It's only localized here because women have been culturally wired to be dependent on men. Perhaps, it's one reason they've become too mentally lazy and socially near- useless these days.

Giving is a choice. Men can give, not forced into giving against their volition. In return, they don't get anything from these entitled liabilities...

Mimicle101:


You may think so.

But let me tell you. The poster story is not %100.

I wish we can hear from the husband side.

I guarantee you these.

The poster is super hurt! She feels used. She see zero value, and have zero respect to the man.

She does not have any love for him any more. Infact. She feels nothing but hatreds for him. All is because of what she has went through. Which I perfectly understand.


Not in a bad way. But I wish OP can confirm these things I have said.

So what she needs now is to start forgiving her husband. Starting all over again. And hopefully the husband can get a job and start doing better. It's ganna be real tough but she just have to try. Otherwise these marriage is as good as ended as mine did.

Caaz:
Take off your glasses,get a clean tissue folds and clean your glasses,put them back on your eyes,this time read my comments again,but this time slowly,don't rush the reading,read again slowly for like 3 minutes then you go understand wetin I write.
Good evening sir.

realtalk19:


You sound damaged.

For your info women are becoming bread winners and legit hustlers these days not like before.

A husband is the man of the home and has a responsibility of providing for the family,the woman is the support and motivator.she keeps the home and takes care of the family.

No matter the amount a woman earns, for me hubby's money is sweeter and more dignifying.

emmyN:


Done that.

If you were all trained to think that way, why do you now think that training was wrong. Shouldn't it be thought as being part of your culture?

manigold:



Less take a few steps back and be respectful of the subject in question here. I'm confident that this story is either sentimental or incomplete. Let's just presume she's factual and that means she's made the 'mistake'. Cos I'd like to ask if she didn't even notice this after her first kid enough to avoid a second. It would seem to me she picked the guy and probably pressured him for marriage; as it seems, she too has nothing reality for a job to sustain the home.
So 'mistakes' made, here's the way forward.
Stick to the home and persist in it as long as it's safe(devoid of battery/abuse). This isn't the time to separate from him because what u may have to bear may not be pleasant. Think about it: how long will u stay with your parents, if u eventually move out won't u be paying the rent. Plus u just freed him up from his responsibility at all; he will more easily pick up a new girl and abandon u with the lots. Should life smile at him, you have already given him excuses not to care by quitting on him while he's in his lowest moments.
IF U HAVE THOUGHT CAREFULLY ABOUT IT AND STILL WISH TO QUIT, THEN DO IMMEDIATELY AND FACE YOUR NEW REALITY.
But I tell u, it will only make u another bitter single mum.

nikkygal:


So don't you think you're cutting off your nose to spite your face here? I mean you don't mind damaging the psyche and emotional stability of your children just because you want to teach your wife a lesson?

Is your wife willing to reconcile? Is she remorseful or apologetic about any of her past actions? I'll say, you should give it a deep thought if she's wanting to work things out with you.

It's obvious you're being vindictive and you need to chill because you might win the battle but lose the war ultimately if you're not careful. Kids are very sensitive and disagreements between parents affect the kids a lot more than you can imagine. I believe you should let your love for your kids override that inner selfish ego trip to 'show your wife pepper'. If there's a possibility for reconciliation, please reconsider it.

However, in the absence of reconciliation, ensure you manage things cordially with your ex-wife to limit the effect of the separation on the kids.

realtalk19:


What has forgiveness got to do with a lazy man who doesn't want to find a job.

You will not understand till you wear the shoe.

Caaz:
You brought the words outta my mind
It's ahnie,anti spambot cuff my acct.

realtalk19:


Hi sweet sis, how's family?

Seriously i know how it feels because I have been there.

Caaz:
Pls kindly repeat the process two more times.this time dip your fingers inside Acid and clean your glasses,for clearer and better comprehensive vision sir.
Good evening sir.

emmyN:


Again, done.

If you were all trained to think that way, why do you now think that training was wrong. Shouldn't it be thought as being part of your culture?

Mimicle101:


As though finding a job is as easy as you have just typed.

He had a job..... "lost it" I guess that's why he suddenly becomes a lazy man.

Am just laughing.

By the way. Are you married?

Caaz:

Do it the last time sir,then if you fail to decipher what I wrote,then kindly forget aboutrit sir.

Good evening for the 3rd time sir!

emmyN:


Followed your instructions for the third time and I'm tempted to ask again.

It's not me, it's you .