₦airaland Forum

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REV. FATHER MATHEW HASSAN KUKAH on Buhari
November 14th, 2010
"When I saw the screaming headline claiming that General Buhari had called on Muslims to vote only for fellow Muslims in the next elections, I could almost tell what the national reaction would be. My brethren within Christianity would react like wounded lions. There would be name calling, bashing, brick bat throwing, Sabre rattling and so on. The nature of the accusations would be predictable. I also knew that politicians from both sides, anxious for capital and advantage, would throw in their lot in any direction that favours them. My suspicion was that General Buhari would not respond. He will remain his typical Self, taciturn and philosophical. He would be hurting and wondering when it would all end. Interestingly, I was not disappointed, as the reactions in the last two weeks have shown. The General has been called all kinds of names. Christian leaders have threatened to call out their followers to vote only Christians, some have given the General a date line for retraction, while others are calling for his removal from the Council of State and seem to regret over having the man as a Head of State. Just like all debates about such sore points in our polity as ethnicity, we have ended up generating so much heat and have absolutely no light to show for it. Typical Nigerians love talking more than thinking. My purpose in this article is two fold. First of all, to clarify if possible, what exactly General Buhari said and secondly, to use the debate as an opportunity to look more closely at the finer points of the role of religion in politics. We must move from talking to thinking in this country.
In dealing with the first point, I have shied away from commenting on the allegation despite prodding from the media because I have learnt that there are always two sides to every story and unless the evidence of both sides are in, all attempts at judgment are not only dangerous, they will always naturally be based on prejudice and bias. They can either only exacerbate the problem, deepen agony, reinforce prejudice and increase tension and misunderstanding. Since the story broke, I have tried to reach the General without success. Now that I have managed to speak with him (Saturday 23rd June), I feel morally in a position to make judgment on the issues base on my nearly twenty Minutes chat with the retired General. This does not in any way mean that all I say will be correct nor do I attempt any iota of self-righteousness. I believe that whatever the world says, every individual is not only entitled to an opinion, he or she is entitled to be heard. We can register our disagreement based on knowledge of the facts. Facts may be sacred as they say, but facts are not truths.
When I finally called the General's Kaduna home, he sounded like he was in a very good mood. After dispensing with pleasantries, I informed him that I had tried to reach him but had not been successful. He apologized to me saying: Well, whenever it rains, my phone normally has to recover from the effect of the rain. It was a good note on which to start our conversation. So Your Excellency, I asked, what exactly did you say? I have read the reactions to the statement credited to you and wanted to find out what exactly it was you said. He seemed and sounded pleased that he had a chance to state his case. He also did sound anxious to explain himself as I listened. He proceeded to speak on about ten minutes and I listened and made some notes. This is his side of the story as he told me. I can only attempt to paraphrase him: Sheikh Sidi Attahiru Ibrahim is a Nigerian Islamic Scholar and he had been in Saudi Arabia for 13 years. He traveled to see me in Daura and informed me that he had written a book, which Dan Fodio University had published, and he now wanted to launch it, would I kindly oblige him by accepting to chair the event? Considering his age and the fact that he traveled all the way to Daura to see me, I obliged. Although a book reviewer had been invited, I had been asked to make my comments, as the chairman of the event, I spoke without a prepared text and in the course of my comments, I drew attention to the fact that the introduction of Sharia had become one of the main issues in this new dispensation. I explained that Sharia, however, has been with us well before the British colonized Nigeria. Now, Sharia has been introduced in many Northern states and Sokoto is one of the states that has already adopted Sharia. It must be pointed out however that Sharia is applicable only to Muslims. Those elements that have taken the law into their hands and use the opportunity to molest other non-Muslims are not helping the cause. What is more, they are like bad policemen or judges who are making the enforcement of justice so difficult in Nigeria. Their shortcoming does not do the police force or the judiciary any good, but these acts do not detract from the imperative of both institutions. Midway through our democracy, we have time now to assess the situation on ground in terms of making our choice in the next elections. Vote for good men whether they are in Borno, Katsina, Sokoto or wherever. Vote for those who will protect your interest. This, Rev. Father, is the summary of every thing I said and the tapes are there.
I did not record our interview because I did not have the General's permission and in any case, it would have been wrong for me to do so. I have only tried to paraphrase what the General said to me base on quick notes I made and I hope I got him right on the essential thrust of what it was that he said. May be I have made my own mistakes in reading him. However, he was categorical that he did not say that Muslims should vote for only Muslims. After all, as he said again, even during the time of the Holy Prophet, there were non-Muslims just as there were unbelievers even in the time of Jesus Christ. He referred me to an Arewa House Lecture delivered by Alhaji Liman Ciroma, which raise the point that justice is more acceptable than a Muslim who governs unjustly! On the whole, it would seem that the General felt hurt by the comments and reactions to what he considered to be an innocent comment. But that is the way the cookie crumbles.
I believe that I can make what I consider to be my own honest comments now that I have spoken to the General and heard his own story. The important thing to my mind is not so much a question of whether the General was telling me the truth or if with hindsight, he was presenting a revised version of his comments in the light predicament. I personally have no reason to believe that the General was reacting like a man trapped and therefore seeking discussions, but the tape recording of what I said is all there for anyone who wishes to watch it. I also imagine that anyone remotely familiar with the General would make two concessions. One that he would not doctor a comment base on what the public might think so as to receive acceptance. Secondly that General Buhari would consider it beneath him to come our defending himself. Anyone remotely familiar with the mind of a Northern Muslim would concede that the General would remain calm and philosophical, believing in the judgment of his conscience on the one had and that of Allah on the other. It might help to pose the question: did the General warrant the attack that was heaped on him by very senior statesmen and women? Why did our tribe of elder statesmen from whichever calling not find it fit to consult with one of their own before going to town? The inability of his critics to seek his own side of the story would seem to have bothered the General, as I understood him. What this issue raises for me is the way Nigerians generally react in the face of the public discourse on very sore but deeply important issues, especially religion. We all retreat into our cocoons of prejudice and from that comfort, we continue to throw stones at the centre, defending our own but also raising the tensions. The result is that we fail to realize the extent of the damage done to our institutions, causes and integrity. I know that many readers who have rather made up their minds and would rather remain in their laagers will accuse me of blindly supporting the General, pandering to the North, or even trivializing what they consider to be a serious issue. It might also be said that the General may have settled me, as is common with us whenever anyone dares to beat a track away from the popular and wide road tarred with prejudice. They will wonder why I have broken ranks with my own tribe when all good Christians ought to have stood on one side. Well, those who may be familiar with me would already know my antecedes, namely, I love a good fight and do not bow to blackmail or intimidation. I bow to truth as I see it until someone, no matter how small, shows me that there is a superior viewpoint. Indeed, as far I am concerned, Buhari issue could offer us another chance to contest and iron out some more serious national issues.
I am familiar with the wider implication of religion and politics in other lands and this has been my area of research and discourse in the last few years. We are not the first to experience these tensions regarding the implications of religion in political choice. What makes these choices turn into weapons of destruction is the hostile environment with its attendant characteristics: poverty, squalor, illiteracy, hunger and want.
A nation with these characteristics sees its population weakened and reduced to servitude and indignity. The citizens gradually fall back on patrons who then use the condition of their so-called constituency to engineer discontentment by raising the volume of the people's condition. The Patron (he is usually male, a chief, a fake appellation of Dr and a fake Sir, all titles he garners to compensate for his semi literate and modest credentials) is not so much concerned about the welfare of his people, for he requires that existing condition as a grazing field to satisfy his personal ambition and hold on to power. He uses this condition to negotiate with the state, which being largely uncaring about the general condition co-opts this patrons as one of its fellow negotiators (s party member, an office-holder in the dispensation or of a member of the ruling council as the case may be). The patron then invents an identity for his people and builds a brick wall to stop them from both realizing their conditions and negotiating with others in the larger society who may share their depressing conditions. The people are told that they are Hausas, Northerners, Muslims, Yorubas, Igbos, Urhobos or whatever. Their imagined ancestry, with no historical or anthropological basis, becomes the fig leaf for covering the unclothedness of the patron's greed. When the people begin to experience the pain and it seems that they are likely to listen to the voice of reason (based on the sermon of those who have seen through this deceit), the people are told by their patron that they cannot contaminate the purity of their linage. We, the descendants of so and so must remain united and stand together. If this identity has been hammered on the anvil of religion, the people are told that the new elite challenging the status quo is betraying the cause. The patron charges anyone exposing this hypocrisy with unbelief or at best those who have abandoned the true religion as ordained by God. This has been the philosophy driving the idea of we, the Northerners, we the descendants of Oduduwa, we the Ndigbo and so on. Although these exclusivist identities make national integration impossible, these characters continue to make noise about the need for patriotism, national unity and peace. But they are a danger to both peace and justice. Unknown to those they claim to represent, they only have the interests of both themselves and their children in mind. The people fail to see that they have time now because all their children have been ferried to the best schools. You can see it when a chance presents itself at the center: it is their children that they put forward when these men of little honour sit down to gamble away our commonwealth. Yet there is the tendency of setting one group against the other when the conditions of poverty are explained away on the claims that our conditions are miserable because the North/Muslims have cornered power, the Yorubas have cornered the economy or the Ndigbo have cornered the bureaucracy. The minorities of course are holding the can marked for the militias because there, life is nasty, it is also brutish and short. They constitute the fighting force and they are doing enough of that as we can see from the internal destructions within both the Northern and Southern minorities. The best of them in the militia tribe, sensing the threat of all this to national survival, have tended to take up arms. Historically, these coups, unless they install one who will sustain the tiny interests of the ruling classes across the board, do not succeed. When the coups threaten to take power from the ruling classes in order to address the issues of equity and create a home for all citizens, they are called failed coups and a chance is provided to eliminate the best from the tribe of the militia minorities. Then, the circle returns as the nation is call upon to spit on the grave of the unpatriotic lot. This has been the history of this nation. Even without arms, when the minorities have tired to raise public awareness to injustice, they have been found to be trying to sing outside the choir and their voices have been shut. The Ogonis are classic representation of this cause. The ferment in the Niger Delta is the best expression of these contradictions…
The reaction to the Buhari saga shows in many respects the fact that we are still not out of the woods. Indeed, those who have argued with no supporting evidence that June 12th showed that we have overcome the politics of ethnic differences and regionalism have overstated their case. We still have a long way to go. For those who have resorted to Sharia to buy time and legitimacy, it is not clear yet whether the worst is still to come. But I have it on good authority from at least two highly placed Muslims from Katsina and Funtua that since the introduction of Sharia, the cost of alcohol has gone up by over two hundred per cent, in some places, much higher. I also hear that the price of kettles has gone up because the elite need at least two, one for real ablution and the other for storing alcohol. At the beginning of the 21st century, at a time when there is no nation in the world that is practicing Sharia at the level we crave for, the ruling elite in Northern Nigeria seemed determined to take a road that will lead to a cul-de-sac. This is not a judgment on the application of Sharia per se. I know that any and every honest Muslim knows that the Laws of God are written in our hearts. We do not need promulgations, proclamations or declarations to implement he love of God. The Iranians tried this road under ayatollah Khomeini. Today, many of the solders of the revolution have changed track and are in a quest for modernization. President Khatami is leading Iranians on the road of modernization. It is nonsense to argue that modernization undermines faith. It is the inability of the elite to respond to the challenges of modernization that create the problems. Modernization is not responsible for the greed and selfishness that face us. It is not responsible for the dubious claims that we make to religion while leaving a lie in realizing the ideals of religion, the liberation of the human person as God's creature…"
CONCLUSION, BMM
In the Holy Bible, it is written that "Ye shall know the Truth and the Truth shall save thee." Having presented the truth on General Buhari's position on religion and votes, it is hoped that the readers of this pamphlet will help to pass it on.
Finally, I will quote from Proverbs in the Holy Book.
15.1.           "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grevious words stir anger…"
15.4.           "A wholesome tongue is a tree of life; but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit…"
15.6.           "In the house of the righteous is much treasure; but in the revenue of the wicked is trouble…"
15.33.         "The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility."
Amen.

By the time the Lord made mothers, He was into the sixth day working
Overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much
Time on this one?"


And the Lord answered and said, "Have you read the spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not elastic; have 200 movable
Parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap
That can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she
Stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a
Broken heart; and have six pairs of hands."


The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs
Of hands! No way!" said the Angel.


The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's
The three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"


"And that's on the standard model?" the Angel asked.


The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see
Through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing
Even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head
Are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can.
And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for
Looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves
Him or her without even saying a single word."


The Angel tried to stop the Lord "This is too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."


"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this
Creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself
When she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger
And can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."


The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her
So soft, Lord."


"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You
Have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."


"Will she be able to think?" asked the Angel.


The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be
Able to reason, and negotiate."


The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the
woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like You have a leak with this model. I
Told You that You were trying to put too much into this one."


"That's not a leak." the Lord objected. "That's a tear!"


"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.


The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow,
Her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her
Pride."


The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of
Everything for this one. You even created the tear!"


The Lord looked at the Angel and smiled and said, "I'm afraid you are
Wrong again. I created the woman, but she created the tear!"

Take heart bros,

Question: What best describes the principle of globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess, with an Egyptian boyfriend, had an accident in a French tunnel, while driving in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian man who was high on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motorcycles, The injured personswere treated by an American doctor using Brazilian medicines and this mail is sent to you by an African using Bill Gates' technology which was stolen from the Japanese

A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.

Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?

Brother 2: He's Dead

Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you think of a nicer way to tell me! I'm leaving in 3 days. You could of broke me to the news easier. You could of told me today that she got out of the house or something. Then when I called before I left you could of told me, Well, we found her but she is up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down. Then when I call you from the airport you could of told me, The Fire Department was there and scared her off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground.

Brother 2: I'm sorry, you're right, that was insensitive I won't let it happen again.

Brother 1: Alright, alright, forget about it. Anyway, how is Mom doing?

Brother 2: She's up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down.

more on the topic

just b careful, u may b the next victim!!!!!!!!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their
school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your, "

Customer: "Heloo, can I order, "

Operator: "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh, , hold,  ,  on, 88986135610 2049998-45 -54610"

Operator: "OK,  you're,  Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator: "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza, "

Operator: "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator: "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?,  What do you recommend then?"

Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up,  Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total
is $49.9! 9"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,
Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator: "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you' ve reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your motorcycle,  ."

Customer: " What!"

Operator: "According to the details in system ,you own a
Scooter,, registra tion number 1123, "

Customer: " ?"

Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing.! ,  by the way,  aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic,  ,  "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%

Operator: "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman,  ?"

Customer: Faints,

Dearest Ms N,


I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with
you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the
meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would
like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair
would be on probation for a period of three months and depending
on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon
completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job
training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to
promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee
and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take! up a larger share
of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken
care of, on your expense account.


I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving
this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled
without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I
would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister,
if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,


Yours sincerely,

interestin topic, guyz letz get started!

clemcykul:
klap for yerself!

Raf raf raf

Cayon:
alsh:

I like this one.

Thanks Cayon, hw r u?

first timer in the hand of professional, :-x :-x

31 interesting tips about girls 1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's
crying in her heart.


2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best
to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an
apology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which
is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the
relationship' s over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute
of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she
will melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to
react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would
start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a
friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her
alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings
and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why
most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may
act look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is
back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start
telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her
get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to
study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.

19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl
that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she
never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance
stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is
standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she
loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.

26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and
going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close
to their 'prettier' friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that
order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL
girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved

31. Girls always hope that they can always remain as friend with
their ex. But never know how![/color]

It's really not difficult, 

To make a woman happy a man only needs to be :

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14 . a gynaecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organiser

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate


WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:


44. give her compliments regularly

45. love shopping

46. be honest

47. be very rich

48. not stress her out

49. not look at other girls


AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:


50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:


53. Never to forget:

* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY :
1 . Leave him in peace

Thank u bros , just send it here alsheex@yahoo.com

God bless u.

A romantic person is just a romantic person

THIS IS REAL GUYZ!!!!!!!!!

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A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora" because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador" because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.

success123:
what on earth is all this, how many times are we going to see the same joke been posted, cegirl please don't allow me to slap u ohhhhhhhhhhhhh because i am really really annoyed.

U'VE SEEN, I DONT. SO SHUT UP!!!! LETS THE LADY SHOWER US WITH MORE JOKES.

[center]NEWTON IN ROMANTIC MOOD,


Universal L aw O f L ove:


"Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From
One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "








F irst L aw O f L ove:


"A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl
In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless
An External Agent Comes Into Play And
Break The Legs Of The Boy. "







S econd L aw O f L ove:

" The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is
Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And
The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The
Bank Balance."









T hird L aw O f L ove:


"The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite
To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping."



.
[/center]

hospital

what a perfect formula 4 an anger management! sure i go try am. ;d

What a perfect 4 anger management! sure i go try am. gbam