₦airaland Forum

LOL

Where are those stupid girls that knows only how to shake bum bum?

She looks like an albino.

Some guys are very foolish. Whats wrong with a huge breast? Just dey embarrass the lady.

Grab her phone and run away from the house. Come back only after you finish checking everything. Better still i can ive you a website that can spy on her phone. Once installed on her phone you will see everything and even listen to live phone calls using a computer or any other device connected to the internet.

Reading your story i understand you are the cause of your problem. You wrote "I signalled at the driver of the vehicle to caution him."
But how could you have done that? You know how our policemen behave. You have passed them already and you should have let go without doing what you did. Am not supporting those officers but this problem could had been avoided only if you didn't do what you did. Sorry and i wish you a quick recovery bro.

Awusa people mhen...dey can dial wrong numbers a lot

iTS TRUE. BEER MAKES YOU FAT

charix:
Quickest way: Drink beer daily. If you can't handle alcoholic beer, drink near beer. Better if you mix guiness stout and Fanta. Double, triple and quadruple your intake as tolerance builds.
Thank me in less than four months time.

BUY FUEL FOR THIS GOVERNMENT? HOW PERSON WEN GO BORROW MOTOR GO TAKE BUY FULL TANK OF FUEL IN RETURN TO TAKE DO THANK YOU? OP YOU ARE WICKED

Muslims are terrorists. Thank God they have chosen the right part. May God bless them. OP do make you give your life to Jesus Christ. Repent and it shall be well with you my son. Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Snatching a friend or relation’s man. All is fair in love and war! Rumour has it that women have resorted to locking their phones, hiding their men and coding their gist from so-called friends cos it’s a jungle out there…

2. Re-inventing themselves. Pretence is the order of the day. No man wants to tame the shrew or teach the inexperienced or make an honest woman out of a dishonest one so once marriage is desired, women package themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable packages. After marriage, what
you see is what you get!

3. Trapping him with pregnancy. This used to be the old school method of getting a man to propose. From skipping the pill to seducing the man or getting him drunk when she was ovulating, a woman usually knew she had the man where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there was no commitment.
Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to child support. Are the girls deterred? NO! The girls have stepped up their game by involving the parents and you know parents don’t like scandals.

4. Praying&Fasting. This would presumably be an honourable means of obtaining a husband but
sometimes the prayers are offered up to deities other than God & other times it becomes a song permanently on repeat.

5. Taking his photograph to places for a prophetess to pray over or a powerful Alfa. Heard it works like a charm.

6. Taking his sperm, hair or personal effects to herbalist. Guys, disposing off your condoms yourself is not such a bad idea…

7. Putting love portion in his food! This is classic and timeless but shouldn’t it be called a ‘compelling’ portion? Because in this case, love is by force!

8. Saying YES to a man you despise! A woman has two classes of men usually on her case. The ‘correct’ guys and the ‘disgos’. The disgos usually end up as rebounds but many a woman has shocked a despondent toaster with a sudden ‘Yes’ and men have agreed that truly there is nothing God cannot do!

9. Proposing to a guy! Yes it does happen… (Who wears the engagement ring?)

10. Toasting a man’s family so they make the decision for him! A friend complained that a girl he detested had over the months gotten close to his family. Lavishing money on them, cooking for them and basically being their ‘go-to’ girl and now his mum had put her foot down that he had to break up with his girlfriend and
marry little-miss-went-home-to-mama. Depending on how much power the family use, their word may be final…

11. Asking daddy to get you a husband! If daddy’s a big shot, arranging a husband for you is usually as easy as pie and some men would sell their souls for a large chunk of daddy’s money so both parties are happy…

12. Being your man’s maga! Some women believe that when you finally get a man to be interested in you, spoiling him and overlooking his every fault would get you into a white gown faster than an okada chased by LASTMA! Some men don’t mind a woman who houses them, clothes them, feeds them, gives ‘em pocket money, never gets upset with them even when they misbehave and cleans up after them with little or no contribution from them… Living the dream

13. Giving him unlimited freedom as long as he proposes. “Tell me I’m number one baby, tell me I’m the future mother of your kids and not Amina, Bisi or Ngozi!” Women used to wanna be the one AND ONLY in their man’s life, now being the number one is good enough…

14. Polishing up a low class, barely educated brother in exchange for a ring! The deal is simple, you send your cleaner, gateman or driver to night school, you give him language lessons, you take him to buy some new clothes and deodorant and teach him to call you honey instead of madam and in exchange, he gets to marry you, share an expensive bedroom and never worry about his bills ever again!

15. Revamping yourself. Change your ward-robe, lose 20kg, buy a truckload of brazilian hair, study the karma-sutra, do a vaginoplasty and change the age on your birth-certificate to read 22. Botox, plastic surgery, a compulsory gym membership and ‘body magic’ also indicated!

16. Becoming a worker in church! Rumour has it that men go to church to marry, the same rumour also reveals that ‘Greeters’, ‘Ushers’ and ‘Lead Soloists’ have the best exposure…praise the Lord!

17. Moving to a new town or part of town so that you are the ‘new girl’. This always peaks the men’s interest and at the same time you get to run away from your past and the ‘old maid’ labels! Combine this with number 16 above and ooh la la!

18. Abandoning your hopes, dreams and ambitions! I’ve heard people say that women looking for a prince charming live unrealistic dreams, virgins are old-school, overly educated women are proud, rich women are not submissive, ambitious women are conceited, women with demanding jobs won’t have time for their families, women who want a faithful man are deluded and women who don’t get pregnant before wedlock have something wrong with their plumbing! So forsake the masters, don’t even dream of a PhD, quit your job, give away all your money and surely a husband will come… And if all else fails…

19. Marry a married man! He could be your friend’s husband, your sister’s husband, your cousin’s husband, your colleague’s husband, even your mother’s husband if you like!

Sex

THIS IS NOT MY REAL FACE OOOOOOOOOOO

TeeFeh:
LOL it was a funny experience for real,I never imagined it to happen and end up this way but it did..

I met this guy on palm chat ni oh,and he was the one that asked for my number. I wasn't even eager to give him but as he refused,I couldn't resist too because his profile picture isn't bad,he's presentable too..

After that day this same guy sent me a message that I gave him a wrong number and that's not true because I don't think so,maybe he doesn't have card to call and he's lying yeah I told him that and he said how could I say such oh,that he stays in falomo in ikoyi,do I know how much he's renting his house, i sha told him "no vex" and told him to retry the number.

We were chatting for hours that day and this guy said he wants to meet me that he owns a car, owns an hoverboard, uses premium phones..errm He even said he's planning to order the S7 edge once its out, that he's using one phantom 5 or something. He also said he has a drone in his house and all those things sha and he talked like the kind of guy I've always dreamt to be with, not because of the car tho he was just on point! I got interested immediately!!

We picked a date for our meeting,I dressed up,bought new clothes and shoes with a new perfume,I just wanted to look good too,you know what I mean na? in fact I took a cab from Mushin to Ikoyi I gave the cab man N5000,I called him that I'm already in Ikoyi around falomo,he said I should wait for him around the bridge side.

When. I saw him I wanted to die because he was not the one i saw in his profile picture oh,he looked like an idiot!!I endured and when we got to his so called house,can u imagine!he was squatting there with his uncle and he's a kabukabu driver!!!

I got so dissappointed in myself that day ehn because I heard Ikoyi, Car and expensive gadgets,when I was leaving self he didn't give me one Naira,I was thinking that what if I get raped or used for money rituals?eh

But why are guys liars??I'm not saying all but majority of em' do that, must you fake?its unfair sha

As girls too we have to be careful and try to work hard to make a life for ourselves. The truth is most of us are dating edited pictures...I learnt that day, Not all that glitters is gold.My friends laughed at me so hard I just deleted the mumu boy from my life not just my phone and moved on and I blocked him on palm chat.

I still cry in my 3500 till today.


People should learn from my mistake and foolish error

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

xender:
A man died and went to for judgement. As he stood in front of the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He
asked, ''Why all the clocks?''
St. Peter answered, ''Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has
ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the
hands on your clock move.''
''Oh'', said the man. ''Whose clock is that?''
''That's Mother Teresa's.'' replied St. Peter. ''The hands have
never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.''
''Incredible!'', said the man. ''And whose clock is that one?''
St. Peter responded, ''That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The
hands have moved Twice, telling us that Abraham told only
two lies in his entire life.''
''Where are the clocks of the Nigerian public office holders AND the
Nigerian PRESIDENT?'' asked the man.
St Peter replied, "They are in the office. We're using them as
ceiling fans."

Mummywater need the car badly

It can't even build a dungalow. U need from 30 million to do that. Better u build a 32 bedroom with it. I built a 4 bedroom bungalow with over 25 million. It also depends on the standard of the house and the size. There is no way 6.5million can build a duplex. No matter how u manage it or how substandard the materials may be.

THE GIRL NA SPOIT SMALL GIRL WEN DON TIRE FOR HOUSE SO SHE RUN FOLLOW MAN.
AT HER AGE SHE DON THEY FOLLOW FOLLOW MAN
NO BE THE MAN FAULT

Will dey also prosecute those without seat belts? By the way wasn't Mr. Ocholi in the car when the driver was driving too fast? He should have asked him to slow down. How am I not sure the minister ordered his Driver to increase his speed. Our politicians always enjoy sped like someone is always pursuing them.

Just follow ur heart. What will be will definitely be. Good luck.