thanks alot ,if the name is both for male and female then i will keep it for my boy.lol but still need more input on this.

Because i really like the meaning of the name for my son ?

@ Gaby.
i just smilled when i went through ur post cos i was just about to write something similar concerning my life for nairalanders to give me support,encouragement and hope ,even though i know that i have HOPE IN GOD but as human my hope do weaver sometimes lol

But right now i can see myself giving you my 2cent of advice and encouragement and also taking the good ones people have written to u.

Well,i must say that i have been in a worst situation than your now and people asking what u did for ur family and friends to hate u this much cos ur demoted is WRONG ,never judge people with ur imaginations.

I never did anyone wrong but good in my family but the same people are the ones who joined together to bring me down .Why? cos of jealousy and evil heart,i was the bread winner in my family from the age of 21 now i am 29 yrs old ,i took care of all there needs ,brought 2 to europe,trained one in university,the house they live in now is my hardwork,the cars etc but instead of appreciating they prefer to give to me and bring me down ,some even tell it in my face of course not until i went home to see for myself cos people change during the years and all the things they tell u on phone while ur abroad is not the same thing when u see them in person,

I lost my home in nigeria worth 15 million naira,lost my home in Europe ,my husband ,child and my financial stability and security and got poised cos they wanted me dead and gone, spiritaul attacks up and downs ,u have no idea ,hospital was my home for 2 yrs without doctors finding out anything wrong with me ,

It has been a battle and still battling but God has always been my helper to deliver me out of the hands of my enemies (Household enemies for that matter)

Today ,i live in a shared room with a girlfriend LOL me that use to live in a mansion home and abroad,now no job and very broke.

Sometimes i think that i will never become rich again like i use to, even tonight i´ve been thinking the same thing that i have wasted all my good opportunities in life But no God will restore me fully again ,i just dont know when but i am hoping and waiting on him.

But in my battles of surviver i never GAVE UP ,first of all i wanted to be delivered from all the diabolic poises ,i went straight to church deliverance MFM and most of the poises and attack has stopped but i still do weekly deliverance until i am completely free which i will with time.

Then after my divorce from a cheating and abusive husband which they diabolically changed him into that cos he is not that kind of man by my sibbing when she lived in my house and had an affair with him ,i prayed to God deeply to give me a man of my own ,it wasnt long i met my husband now who was just a low income man not compared to my rich ex-husband and he wasnt even my class or taste but had all the qualities i wanted in a man and very faithful to me which i am very grateful to God on that aspect , but since i have been with him ,God has raised his salary twice with prayers,i know God choosed him for me not me cos if it was my choice i would have gone for flashy things and end up with the wrong man.

Today God has started restoring my life gradually ,we now have our own apartment in europe small but comfortable ,i will be relocating to a different country to join my husband and start life all over again ,i know after my language course i will get a job plus my husbands job we will be fine and with time i will be restored fully and even above what i had before and i have closed every contact with my family because of what they did to me.

What i always say to myself is that :

*GOLD WENT THROUGH FIRE BEFORE IT BECOME THAT BEAUTIFUL ( so thats what i am going through now)
* THE DOWNFALL OF A MAN IS NOT THE END OF HIS LIFE
* IF THERE IS LIFE THERE IS HOPE
* EVERY BAD SITUATION AND TRIBULATIONS IN LIFE IS MAKING A WAY FOR A HIGHER PROMOTION
* WHAT IS IN THE FUTURE IS GREATER AND BETTER THAN WHAT WAS IN THE PAST.

life alone to me is a testimony, because thats what my enemies didnt want to see me breath this Air,God will see u through ,go to a good church for consuelling and deliverance and it shall be well with u.

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@ Poster, I am sorry about your situation ,how come you dated him for 2 good years and didnt seem to know him well enough? its sad if he was good during courtship and then changed just 2 months into your marriage.

I personally can not live with any man that lay his hand on me. i think your husband is cheating period . he probally was seeing the lady before he got married to you and still continue´s the afair.

Every marriage has its ups and downs its not a bed of roses ,if you truelly want your marriage to work you have to get closer to God,i think consuelling could help but if that doesnt work then a trail seperation would be good if its possible to go and stay with your parents for a while and during that time use it and go for prayers and deliverance for your husband and marriage ,there is nothing God cant do or change.

Or stay in your matrimonial home and go for prayers and deliverance from there to avoid him bringing another woman in while your gone,during this period do everything in your power to avoid argument with him and dont question his movement.

If you´ve tried all this things and they prove abortive ,then you can now decide if you want to live your marriage or not,no one will make that decision for you but yourself but let it be that you´ve tried your best to make it work.

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@ LAWYER,i sent u an email yesterday concerning some personal issues,please get back to me,i have tried calling ur phone number several times and its not working.

chaircover:

I will say buy abroad first, overpay your monthly mortgage payments then wait a few years for the value of the property to increase.

Take out the equity and build a sensible reasonably sized house in Nigeria with it, making sure that you build a property that will generate some sort of income even if it’s only from the boy’s quarters attached to the main house.

There is no point building a 6 bedroom 8 bathroom mansion if you only have 2 kids who are already in university as that is not sensible.

The money realised from the rental income will be used to maintain the property in Nigeria, pay NEPA bills etc so it is self sufficient.

You now have the best of both worlds

thanks for ur wonderful and reasonable advice i know few people who is doing that here in europe,its does make sense.

jacq:

I was once messed up by an uncle who said i will help you buy land and build up for you like i helped my children but look what happened the land was bought but she kept the papers of the land to himself (The matter is in the hands of God) not the man refused handling the papers of the land to me , he wants me to come and beg for what i suffered for,people ar sometimes just too selfish and selfish and never have enough even if the have too much of their own.

So now i am planning to buy here in europe,bicos here i am spending most of my life
and when i do have kids one day , their life is going to be here too and that will be their inheritance
in naija i only visit once in a while.

So i would advice you to buy here in europe.

thats very sad on what ur uncle did to ur land ,mine is also similar situation to urs, thats one of the reasons why im discourage buying in nigeria again for now but God will fight for u. thanks for ur advice

Hotstepper:

first be comfortable where you are presently living b4 building one, if u r based abraod most of the time and can afford the house, buy there and then start building in Nigeria. My parents did the same and Naija own will be opened this xmas,

thanks for ur advice @Hotstepper

Fhemmmy:

I think it all depends on what matters to you.
There are some Nigerians that lives in Abroad in poor states and all that, these are people that spent 85% of their lives in abroad, living in some shacks and messed up apartments and build a huge mansion in Nigeria, now tell me who is living in the mansion they have built in Nigeria while they are in abroad 85% of their lives, i will say the house boys and girls and the gardner, while they live like househelps themselves abroad.

Now if you build the house for buz, say you rent it out to be making money and be using that money to buy yourself a house abroad, cos with good credit, it is easy to that in abroad, then, that makes more sense to me.

Also, you could buy a house abroad, but while the economy and the housing market is booming oh, and after 2 years take out some equity and build a rentable home in nigeria and once you done with the building, rent it out and bring back what you made from it to invest in other stuff.
Now these makes more sense to me.

But i think it is ridiculous when Nigerians lives in rags in abroad all because, they wanna go back to Nigeria to impress some people that dont even give a hoot about them.

This is just my own one cent

thanks for ur advice u made a good point.

ibedun:

Depends on the capital at your disposal, your income level and whether you are buying jointly with a partner or are married with children. If you can buy outright abroad, do so as that is where you spend most of your time and thats where your family (your wife and children) are resident. If you have to mortgage on a low deposit and facing 30 year repayment period - do so knowing the house may never be yours. And remember the longer the time horizon the greater the risk of so many unwanted/unplanned events taking place, which could jeopardise the ultimate ownership of the house e.g loss of income/job, business failure, illness,divorce, seperation, the list is endless.
Buy or build a house in Nigeria (yours for life from day one!) at a very good location with good rental yield and let the house generate some income. That Naira income can be put to another income generating activity. You can then launch your diasporan income at the relentless diaporian mortgage.
This requires careful thinking. If you intend to build a 'show-off' house which you will lock up, without income generating capacity of any sort then you might as well go for the mortgage now and go for a repayment period much lower than 30 years say 15 - 20 years if affordable. There are just too many factors and variables to consider. A house is a house but a mortgaged house is not yours until the corresponding debts are discharged. Goodluck!!

thats also a wise advice,thanks for ur reply,i personally wouldnt want a show off house in nigeria,i prefer a house i can rent part of it and as well have a hoilday place to stay whenever i visit nigeria with my family,¨that will also helps to have someone take care of the house when im away.

**osisi:

we had this discussion many years ago (hubby and I) and I won hands down
We bought a house in the USA where we spend most of our time before building one at home in Naija
That makes the most sense

now u understand what i mean cos alot of nigerians dont reason that way and they are trying to brain wash me on buying first in nigeria before abroad im very confused right now ,as i also thought buying a house abroad first make´s more sense cos we spend more time there,Nairalanders what do u all think as more opinion will help me determine where to buy first.

i understand that but what if someone is buying free of mortage or very little mortgage to pay monthly? the person wont have that much problem about the property being taken.

Ok Nairalanders,i need ur advice,as someone living abroad and spends 85 to 90% of her time overseas,which is obviously where i call my home,if i decide to purshase my first house which country do u think i should consider first? Nigeria or abroad where i made my permanent base? after being dumped ones by a family member whom i trusted would help me build and surpervise my house last year.

if ur in my shoes would u still go ahead and start building a new house urself or buy first where u base ? we should consider that buying or building a house in Nigeria is alot of headache,419ers, difficulties controlling what ur contractor ,builder or family member is doing with the money u sent to them ,some family members using ur money for themselives and decieving u that they are building a house for u and at the end u loss everything ,some using juju on someone cos of land ,family member overtaking ur property if anything happens to u and then ur wife and kids or husband  will be left with nothing etc


And abroad where everything is legal,geniue ,secured and less or no stress,if u had the money to buy a house after being dumped once would it be wise for someone  to still go ahead and build a new house in Nigeria ? i mean u dont want to keep paying rent for the rest of ur life abraod , if u had the money to purshase a house abroad right? someone can always get something in nigeria later in the future. when ur sure that no matter what happens u already have ur home abroad and i only visit nigeria ones a year or even ones every 2 yrs depending on how busy i am,so i wont even spend much time in the Nigeria house.
your option is needed and will be appreciated.
thanks

Im glad you brought this topic up because a friend of mine has been looking for a surrogate mother for a while now,she has heard of people doing it private but its extremely difficult finding any good one in Nigeria since there is no surrogacy Agency for it but she met 2 girls that were willing to become a surrogate mother for her but she didnt like there background so she didnt continue with them but she havent given up,she is still searching for anyone that will match her requirement.

which are the following are:

1.) the person much be healthy and can bear children and havent  had any pregancy complications before  ( a blood test and fertility test will be done to verify this )

2.) there will be a legal agreement between both the surrogacy mother and the baby parent( that will protect both of them,so that the surrogate mother wont refuse giving up the baby after birth and the baby parent wont refuse paying the full compensation fee after baby is born )

3.) She must be a woman of the age of 18 to 35, with a good background,preferably having her own child or several children. If the surrogate mother is married, her husband shall give a notarially certified written consent for participation in the extracorporeal fertilization program

4.) the person must be stable and have a setting height , weight and goodlooking.

5.) the person must be willing to go through IVF,Intra-uterine Insemination (IUI) or Donor Insemination (DI) and egg transfer.

6.) Must have  full support of someone close to her (her spouse or family member ,close friend etc )just incase  she is on bed rest or even just too big to get around or work, she will need the extra support and help of someone for her and her children if she have any.

7.) must be mentally and physically stable enough to go through a pregnancy and give up the baby in the end


8.) she must be willing to abort the pregnacy if any genetic disability was found during prenatal check up at easily stage.

9.) compensation fee will be agreed between the surrogate mother and her .


Note: My girfriend is willing to pay compensation for the surrogate mother to carry her baby,which include,allowance,medical care ,10 % of the compensation fee when she conceive and 90% when the baby is born.

so if your friend is interested or anyone is intrested she/they should drop her email address and my girlfriend will get back to the person.

best of luck.