₦airaland Forum

striktlymi: Aren't you a broke girlfriend?

This made me laugh.
Oldboy you wicked o-o.

Equalizer: So happy to be here.. I really need a shoulder to lean on because of lately all I think of is taking my own life.. I feel so depressed that I feel bitter all day... I pray and hope that I will hear things that will lift my spirit a bit here... Thanks all..

You are leaning on us.
Don't feel depressed, think happy thoughts of things becoming alright someday. Visualize your dreams in all positivity.
When you are weak and unhappy, pick your psalms and interact with God(if you are a christian). You will find some strength therein.
By the way, thanks for sharing your unhappiness with us. We care about your well being. Stay positive, stay hopeful. We are all in the struggle for survival. You won't believe the greater challenges we face too but we are keeping positive minds and staying happy instead of depressing. Cheer up, friend!

thandii1: This has got to be fiction. How dare you even type "I love my husband and will never cheat on him again' after the vivid description of your escapades with tony. Are you for real? You remember the details of all your steamy sessions and feel no remorse describing it all? If tony had not seen your ring, you'd have continued straffing him? For a moment I was even hoping tony was an ex and had to re read the post again.

I'm so irritated by the Op. I hate cheats, unrepentant ones at that..urrgh!!!

The story sounded written-down, the only way it can be true is if the poster is a kaleideiscope of many feelings.

sunvick: You are not proffering any soulution to the op's problems, rather you are only countering the opinions of others.
we need suggestions n practical workable solution and not counteracting pple here.

I already proferred workable solutions, Darling. You didn't see my posts. I respect the opinion of others, never cancelled out the opinion of others one bit. Was only disgusted by someone suggesting that the man gets drugged or do you agree with that too?

markpenk: LOL... no one is talking about medications here o. Nairalanders can so misinterpret things. I asked those questions because I want to know what the real issue is. If she makes his meals with lots of garlic/onions and a few other veggies, cuts out his sugar an supplements it with honey, then he shouldn't be able to keep his hands off her. But if she's done all that and he hasnt improved, then.... but like I said I want to hear from her first.

Yeah I didn't misinterpret, I asked that I hope the aphrodisiac you are recommending is food and not drugs. I went on to say the other thing because somebody here has already recommended that she drug him which is disgusting.

If the man makes her come with straight up sex, then she should chuck up the a-nal s-ex and forget it. The only work she has to do is to coarse her husband into loving up and kissing up her body the way she likes it. The Or-al sex part she can make him over by getting good scented bath and see whether he can agree to licking up icecream/whooped cream/irish cream/Egovin kinda drink off her p*ssy, that may help him get through with it.
A-nal sex has been said to be unhealthy as some that indulge in it leak through their an*s.etc

markpenk: hairspray... I can understand your predicament. Truth is it is extremely difficult to endure and forbear with your hubby if he's not doing his "job" properly. So, I won't do what most nairalanders are doing right now: judge you. Instead, I need to ask you a few questions:

1. How old is your husband and how long have you guys been married? I don't need specifics. Just age range is good enough for me.
2. Have you spoken to his pastor/priest about this? If you say he hasn't been doing his duty because of his religiosity, then you should talk to your pastor about this.
3. Does he have any health issues?
4. What was his intimacy.u.a.l appetite like before you both got married?
5. Have you been taking care of yourself? If you've gained weight, you need to lose it very fast. I'm single and young, but I've seen some married women with kids that I've completely admired. Just had to get my mind off them because "thou shalt not covet thy 'neighbor's' wife".
6. Have you tried putting some aphrodisiac in his meals? Might sound weird, but he's your husband and this beats cheating anytime.
7. Did you ever make him feel inadequate intimacy.u.a.l.l.y? Please think real hard about this.

I ask these questions because I'm going somewhere. if you could please indulge me, let's see what we can do to help remedy the situation. Cheers.

I hope the aphrodisiac you are recommending is food and not drugs. If it is drugs then i will lose all my respect for men who are suggesting to a woman to drug her husband. Nobody should drug another without their consent even if it is medicine for runny stomach. How can you guys tell a woman to drug her husband so that he be will able to expand the walls of her p*ssy in many directions. (backwise/frontwise) WTFu-ck!

sunvick: op
why dont you try puting viagra in his drink and watch him......

I don't think it is legal to put drugs in the drinks of others. Do you want her to poison him too? She mustn't do that.

iykedare: where are these nairaland e warriors that attack cheating men? Why are they scared to comment? Have they run out of free data or they are fantasying over what Tony did to Op?

Hahaha Iykedare, you have me laughing over the bolded

ProdigyLoco: Ur d best E wrestler I know, lol hope the title helps u sleep

Nah, I am not.
I can't even wrestle. I will just call the person "motherf-ucker" and the energy is spent out lol.

Do have a good day, okay? Kisses.
I wasn't meaning those fu-cking things I was cursing u out with, cursing out there just made me feel good. lol lol, please laugh.

hairspray: Thank you.

I am a nairalander with an old account on nairaland but i couldn't post my life story on nairaland with my old account because there would be trouble as I am popular amongst the ladies on here. Hence the reason for the new account which I opened to narrate my ordeal.

I appreciate your comments because I know we have lots of intelligent people here on NL, ladies and gentlemen, some of which I have been honoured to meet in person. Being an old NLder I expected some bashing for this.
I don't have to state it here that I am remorseful about what happened because I would be telling a lie. It happened and I am not proud about it but I enjoyed it. Unlike some of you that are SUPER-HUMAN and very holy and temptation resistant, I am only human with natural weaknesses. So forgive me if my honesty offends you but I want to say thank you to all those who know that adultery isn't the only sin mentioned in the Bible and they offer useful advice instead of trying to cast the first stone or largest rock.

Contrary to what you think, this is not a nollywood crap story. This is my life and I am sure someone out there can relate to this. This happened to me and Tony is a real person and he really lives in surulere.
I never planned for this to happen. I never even imagined that I would have sex outside my marriage but this happened and it haunts/taunts me. I never want it to happen again but it is just like starving a person of food and that person knows there is food in the house, what do you think such a person would do when he/she sees it outside? I'm not trying to justify my sexcapade with Tony but trying make u picture what i am going through.

I have spoken with my husband about this and made suggestions but it always falls on his wrong side and we sometimes argue because he thinks i am comparing him with the things I see on TV. We watched p0rn together and he says "these guys are trying afterall they're being paid for it.. I can't kill myself". I can't r@pe or fight him either so i just drown in my predicament while living my life and acting like all is well.

Madam why did you marry him nah knowing that he can't do the kind of s-exual stuffs you like to do. Were you blindfolded when you married him? You sees why compatibility is good in marriage to avoid this kind of torture.
You are there already, you can't even have Tony with all his Anacondaness so quit pretending with your husband (Yes!). Show him the real you and how you like your sex and pray that he meets you half way. As for the a_nal sex he may never want to do that, not all can stomach it. It beats me that a woman that is into something as heavy as A-nal sex went to marry a man that may never agree with it. What were you thinking when you did? It's your life, live it as you want. You should have gone for what you need sexually but didn't and now you are crying "Oh he can't give me an-al or lick me up the way Tony can". Sorry o-o sha.
Can't he give you a lil licky licky at all? Lol. Cause that one dey sweet o-o. A woman that has known how it feels will find it hard to do without it, that is even what most women say that gives them orga-sm. If he can't eat it yet, you have to find a way to make it palatable to him like dousing it with ice cream or Irish cream and all ya can have fun. He may get overly excited and who knows may agree to give you all you want.


Anyway I think that this writer is only trying harder to shove this story down our throat so we can believe it. The way you went narrating the sexcapade gave you out as somebody merely testing out reactions to a chapter of her sexy storybook.

ProdigyLoco: Using fucker does not change anything
Still not insulting u lolololol 

Yeah, I am even smiling. It felt good cursing out your naive a*rse out. You needed a little E-whipping and you just got served.
I am still here catching my E-fun jor. Do have a splendid day and stop being a f*cker, right?

ProdigyLoco: no need to insult u chica lol

Fucker! Next time don't insult others indirectly with your "I think I am smarter than everybody" attitude. Now get on your lane and go catch some fun.

ProdigyLoco: Reply of the year, some people only read without understanding, nice one bruv 

Wow, see the f-cking fucker that read and understood the poster.
You are so naive and easily deceived and there you are thinking "I am the smartest, I understood the poster and her unhappy bored sex life".
Why don't you go ahead and join her and her f-cking Mr. Tony in the groupie party she was inviting you to with her sexy essay".
Motherf-cker!

Godmystrength: Actually, she didn't come here to tell us that she is a troubled woman o. she came to inform us that her marriage/man is boring and she misses Mr Tony.......
two things will i say on this
1. if there was no per-marital sex, there is no way to find out if he is your match sexually. No everybody is in support of pre-marital sex
2. sometimes, it doesn't start like that. what if both of them were sexually matched but somewhere along the line, something happened that affected the hubby's libido...

I use to belong to the school of thought that says that sex should be left till marriage takes place but the realities of life have made it clear that people should f-ucking have sex before they decide whether they are matched enough to marry (they can use such protections like condoms etc to prevent pregnancy). How about if a lady that had no sex before marriage discovers after marriage that her man can't get an e-rection. There's a thread of an unhappy lady that actually shared a problem like that after her marriage and was headed for divorce.
So people should f-cking f-uck before marriage. That is reality.

I am seeing interesting stuffs and posting and sharing here.
This site below is being advertized here in nairaland. I checked them out and they sounded very exciting as in one can put on one's thinking cap and make money on them as they boast of :

Free ads on Nigeria's fastest growing classified ads market. You may also Buy and Sell services: Babysitting, Cleaning and Movers. Free Classified Ads market. All for sale on Advertise.com.ng. Don't miss the opportunity to place an ad free! Find bargains on Advertise.com.ng ad market!
Both entrepreneurs and individuals advertise for free on Advertise.com.ng. Now with more than 600,000 unique visitors per month

http://www.advertise.com.ng/ads/advertise-free.html

With lovely stuffs like these, there's absolutely no time to waste feeling depressed and unhappy when one can get busy and make money in some of these sites. Enjoy!

For those that are desiring to acquire certificates, check this thread about free online courses and certificates which may interest you

https://www.nairaland.com/1916573/edx-educative-online-program

A writer sizing all ya up or something.
She started at first like she's truly sharing her problem and then went into this expository essay of sex with Mr. Tony as if she is having orga-s-ms while narrating the story and almost inviting her readers into a groupie thing with her Anaconda Tony. Chei!

This is not coming from the heart of a truly troubled woman, the energy she spent narrating the sexcapade did not match the heart of a troubled wife.
The only question I have for any woman going through this kind of unsatisfactory sex life with her husband is "Why did you marry him in the first place knowing that he is not your match sexually?

Googler: Life is complicated. The thing about being broke is not that you are not in control of what you do or what happens to you. Other people are. And this can bring about a situation of feelings of helplessness. Give you some examples.

1. A colonel sent to my state in the mid-80’s implemented a policy that has left me floundering for years on end.

2. The only good job I ever got, one (13 odd years ago, paid okay and was trekable from my pad) was lost because a member of staff decided to burgle the place and steal stuff, setting off a chain of events that led to detention and termination of the job of every administrative member of staff.

3. When I went to university in the late 90’s I could not complete it because a certain military administrator had put in place some very bad policies which saw fees going up astronomically.

4. When I tried to run an online business a couple of years back, I underestimated the extent of my adverse reaction to stress. Staying up late and getting up early quickly took its toll and I had to abandon the project after losing my entire savings – it wasn’t much, but it was my entire savings.

5. I am currently studying for a degree in law. But someone, somewhere, has decided to bungle my school’s accreditation process – meaning I may not go to law school and my degree will look like eba without soup. Had I any control, I would have gone to a better school.

My present job entails spending between 6 and 7 hours or more in traffic daily (Ogun State go VI) and the pay is just enough to cover that transport and feed you a little. My school fees and co have to come from what I manage to make from writing and editing which is very irregular.

I suspect that the script for our lives is written before we are born. I suspect there is a reason for it - which reason may explain why God does not intervene. Look at me. I could have graduated long long ago and settled into an okay job. But that was not to be. I can be very productive given the right environment – but I’ve been thrown into the most inhospitable physical and emotional environment of all, a roiling lough that appears to blind the eyes and bind the hands. How do you get productive with my working circumstances if you react easily to the stress? You dare not resign because being socially inept (what a post above mine calls being “weird”) has ensured you don’t have any network of friends. So you’re stuck – you can’t get a good job and you can’t go on your own. Fifteen years ago I wanted to be a fiction writer. I think I was quite good at it. Hell, I was winning prizes. But the striving to get food got in the way. I had to eat and I couldn’t combine that with fiction writing. Because, yes, you got it - stress.

I’m not atheist and I have never doubted the existence of God in all these. Why? Because I can see a pattern in everything. I have never completely starved, or been rendered homeless. Food usually turns up when I thought it was over. Things never go so bad I can’t get to the next day. It’s as if the script allows the basics, the barest basics, but nothing more. I can eat. I have a room. But I want a proper apartment. I want a home. I want a wife. I want children feeling my ears with their shrieks. But these have been pipe dreams. That is why one would, perhaps, have been better off with sturdy muscles going to some village farm without a care in the world. But I don’t think God or demons or witches have anything to do with any of these. Sounds complicated? Well, that’s another topic - God. But I hope it explains why I suspect that the script for our lives is written before we are born. You see, there was a time I thought the reasons I can’t bring myself to hurt a fellow human being by stealing from them or cheating or deceiving them is because I’m a good person and those who have no qualms duping old pensioners of their entire life savings are bad people. Now, I’m not so sure it's about being inherently good or bad. I suspect that temperament may explain things. We’re all victims of our temperament.

But, yes, hope one must. So thanks to Angeldemivida, sholay11, onegig, bellong and everyone else. Yes, I have visited the Business section a few times. Once my exams are over next month I am planning to leverage on my residual IT skills and go for video editing training, teach myself website development and spend some time promoting my editing side job online. If my degree will not be useful (they say they’re working on accreditation) I might retain my sanity by trying something else.

Thank you for reading. I won’t have gone into this with anyone – no one cares, not because they’re bad people but because they’re not meant to. So it feels good to ramble on an anonymous forum.

I clicked "like" after reading your last post not because I like that you are unhappy but that you were open enough to share your grief.
It's really far o to go to work from Ogun state to VI. I hope things turn around for you. My dear, we all have and have had our little hardship in Nigeria Ojare. It's not easy jor.It was good you found things at the business section, I hope that things turn around for you so that some day you will be gisting your kids about how hard it used to be. Plenty great and rich Nigerians have their grass to grace past too before riches entered their lives too. We can't all help but keep hustling and working hard. I know that you have a good future, young man. Hold on tight right there. Your change will come.

desperatetowin: Nobody knows what it's like dealing with a condition that affects all of your life,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i want to be free,,,just close my eyes, open them and am free,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

eat right like am doing,,
exercise more like am doing,
and see results at the end of the day,,,,,,,but am not seeing results,,,,,,am just hopelessly about to give up,,cos this weight is embarrasing me and my family..................

If you avoid fatty and too-starchy foods like bread, rice,spaghetti, indomie etc and concentrate on vegetables and little portion of energy giving food, there is no way you will not lose plenty weight. I know because the indians that are always eating foods made with flour are always too fat and when you ask, you will be told that it comes from the plenty flour in their diets so avoid eating plenty flour/starch based food. There is no way you can't eat them at all because we need them for energy which is why we have eba, fufu in our diets, just eat small portions of them. An example to show you the effect of cutting out on carbs is Lebron James who recently went on a diet and cut out all carbs totally eating only vegs, meat and fish. Result, he had a drastic weight loss. Read it up here, you can do it.

http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/09/lebron-james-diet
http://fr.eonline.com/news/581856/inside-lebron-james-dramatic-weight-loss-get-the-skinny-on-why-the-nba-star-went-low-carb

BCELLS: I'm tired and sick of everything. I don't even know what else to do anymore. What comes to my mind every now and then now is situation gonna get worse. I ought to have graduated from a University since 2010 and go for NYSC 2011 but hitherto I still cannot . It has been one issue to another. All my mates have gone far and doing something good with their life but I'm just seated right here doing nothing. I'm almost 30year old and still haven't got nothing still in my fathers house. Nothing is working everything in shamble. Life sucks

@BCELLS
Pls try and cheer up a bit and stop feeling like "life sucks". You know why? If to say that you have a cool house/building of your own somewhere and a cool car and wife added to it, You will surely be feeling like "Life is good". You can have all those things if you make up your mind to work harder at whatever you do in order to acquire the things you need. Don't be too fixed on getting the certificates, if you succeed with them that is good. If you don't, it isn't the end of the world. Many people have certificates without the jobs to go with it. Nowadays you can work hard and do stuffs on your own to make money, I refer you to the business section here and to the internet. Find what will work for you. If you rummage through the business section or google, I am sure that you will be inspired by one thing or the other going on there.

One more important thing for you to be careful with is to stop comparing yourself to others, the feeling that comes from "that you are not measuring up to others" can worsen your situation and make you feel more terrible. Cheer up okay, I am very sure that you will succeed in no distant time. God bless you.

bellong: May you be granted strength from the inner man. You will not faint in the time of adversity.

It is well with you.

Thanks dear, You and One gig and a great team of others are doing a great job here. May God keep blessing us all. Amen

@Googler
I am advising that you spend time in the business section, the young ones are there in different threads making money and making a living. In this age and time, you can make money from your computer trading in different things. Amazon book writing may be good for you as your English is very nice,you really tried very much to enlighten and educate yourself against all the odds on your way. Stay strong for yourself, being alive is a big blessing to us all so we all have to tinker it and find a way out of hardship, it's not easy for some of us yet we are walking on and moving on in the journey of life.

You need to do something very important too: get very very positive about your future because indeed you sound like you have a wonderful future out there.Don't be weighed down by the hardship of yester years or allow it pull you down and prevent you from seeing your bright sky. Be more positive now, let your line now be "I underwent all of that but I'm heading to my bright future and nobody can stop me". If the dump yard face me I face you depresses you then move things around the dump yard to make it nicer, save and repaint and have places looking lively or if you want to relocate out of there then work at saving for that. Go to the business section,I'm sure that you will see great stuffs that will inspire u there. Hold on, everything is going to be alright. Why break your mother's heart or even kill her by poisoning yourself when you can bring her joy when your set time comes tomorrow? I hope you got some strength from reading these words and other good words others have here for you?

I heard some posters talking about not using stop loss some time ago and I frowned at it a bit but "not using stop losses' have really helped me manoeuvre some little good trading. I haven't made a negative trade this month at all. It wonderfully helps me out of bad trades that went against me as I quickly hedge on them and follow them until they pan out and even bring in profit.
One should still be careful about not using stop loss as "anything can happen".

Real Good!
Yeah!
It does irritate me when people compares him to other things especially in songs, like such songs as "All other Gods, they are the works of men, you are the only true God----" etc.
We shouldn't go categorizing and comparing him to other gods. He stands on his own, superior. The almighty. My Jehovah Jireh.

breathless: OP, here's what I do from personal experience 3 years running and still counting.
Calculate your spouses monthly circle. Usually its 28 days. Ovulation takes place on the14th day of the circle (most times, though some ovulate during menses). Avoid sex (if you can) 3 days before and after the ovulation day as the sperm can last up to 72 hours (some "stubborn ones even more).
It requires a high degree of self control and discipline since you no longer want kids and realize the side effects of artificial methods of birth control.

Yeah, that's about the safest family planning method if done well as it is all about avoiding c-opulation on the ovulation period.


Saying that ovulation occurs on the 14th day and assuming that cycles for women are usually 28 days is misinformation though, ovulation date/days and cycle days are as different as women's faces are different.

The secretion of the slimy mucus as somebody already mentioned is among the better determinators, some people use thermometer to check their body temperature which helps them determine. Some women are lucky to be feeling the ovulation pain at the lower part of the stomach, for those that feel the pain that is the best determinator because one only feels that ovulation pain when the egg is right there right there. The mucus does not give you the exact date of ovulation but you can use your head to know when you start secreting that that you are (entering, in the middle or just getting through with ovulation) as the case may be.

Ever since I started reading up stuffs about sex, I have read severally that 's*emen-carrying-sperms' can trickle down even before the main e-jaculation. A woman that is ovulating can be impregnated by such "run away" sperms. Lol

omowolewa: Withdrawal?!

I thought it is effective too until I got a call from village that my father's friend needed my attention.

You know, I used to teacher a course whenever am in the town, one thing led to the other and I went into practicals with my dad's friend daughter. Being a quick and unexpected one, I seized that opportunity and relied on the withdrawal method, that resulted to that early Monday morning urgent call.
Honestly, I withdrew it, but I can't just explain how I lost a drop inside the honeywell till today.

It resulted to my carbon copy, 'Ayotomiwa', I can't deny the semblance.

I am Loling badly.
Who said "Withdrawal" is effective?
Don't try that sh*t when your woman is ovulating (if you don't wanna make baby) or some sperms are going to be doing marathon vying for her egg.

TV01: Men hey? Why the upset?

Just because everytime he calls his sons name he is reminded of the man that first shined, polished and buffed his wife's congo, the one who popped her cherry. The one who pillaged and plundered her virgin territory. Who plucked it like a guitar, flipped it up, turned it over, positioned it and turned it around. The striker who worked his way into her box and scored. Repeatedly! Header, back-heel, nutmeg and volley. The tap-in, long range thunderbolt, half-volley and penalty strike.

A permanent reminder of another player - who may have been better. Someone he'll suspect he's "substitute too" and not a "replacement for".

And he can't actually do anything to prove otherwise - this guy is immortalised and a legend - as his wife will always have this romanticised ideal of loffaboy in her head.

Such treachery - that's why he's refusing to play! Name change, transfer or substitution .


TV

I like your mastery of words here dude. All those explanation of "flipping it up and turning it around" are not necessary to make your point yet you showed a good command of words.

@Poster
The one thing I also thought of after reading about the problem is for them to simply change the child's name if the husband can't stand his son answering the name of his wife's ex. An ex of mine called me up two months ago asking me to remind him of my middle name and telling me that he is naming his newly born daughter after me. I told him "your wife is not gonna like it" and he was like "My wife does not know your name". I hope this kind of problem does not rear its head one day for them.

Sis Damante,
I checked your profile.
You are not doing bad at all, seems you are serving(NYSC) and I see you hustling for a part time job to add to it.
Don't feel down okay. The period after leaving school can be hectic/ Most of us passed thru that, you will overcome.

I will check back the thread tomorrow. Tired now.
I need a big hug and soothing words too. Don't we all need that.
Yeah, living ain't easy. We musn't forget that it is a blessing to be alive.

Ariyke: thanks so much av been trying to be strong for my self but like I said its so frustrating

Yeah--

Ariyke: onegig, angeldemivida you are needed here pls

--but you were amazing when you posted this cause you put aside your own burden and was looking out for another person.
I once read that when you are going thru troubled times that it helps to kinda think of assisting others and i have put that into practice once upon a time in the past when i was down i visited a hospital where i spent time with others, shared and chatted and made friends.

Girl I went through a terrible lot for like 2 days now, this evening I nearly slumped and all i wanted to listen to is PM Dawn's "I d' die without you" just to calm my soul cause the song has a great calming effect.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZbF7wkSvE8

I'm sharing the song. You can ignore the lyrics and just let it calm your nerves. It will have you inhaling and exhaling stress out of your system as if your back is being massaged. It just helped me unwind a bit.

DieDiamant: I've had enough of life.

Yes Baby, we are here for you.
We are your friends, you can lean on our shoulders.
Whatever you do, don't hurt yourself okay Baby.
Sending you lots and loads of hugs.

Rrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn boy!
Run far away from them.