₦airaland Forum

johndoe200:
The answer is simple, the woman , no matter who she is cannot have "a bit on the side". It is not acceptable and an insult to the man. It can only be accepted where the man no longer wants the woman. I would never tolerate that and I'm sure my friend would not either.

I doubt that your in Nigeria, here the concept of gender equality exists only on TV (thank God for that). Otherwise we might end up with the crazy situations they have in the western world.

Well that makes me sick to the bone!! I despise sexism. 

Well whether you or anyone likes it or not the world keeps moving and changing, so you yourself can stay in the past, but we as women (New generation) are not staying with you. Us women don't want to be treated like a peace off meat,machine, or a peace of sh#t on the bottom of a mans shoe, we are a gift from God too. We have only just begun to spread our wings!! Not just in the western world, one being Nija so stick with what you believe as that was how you were raised but please! please have a diffrent head on your shoulders when advising and teaching your sons, or if your children are grown then your grandsons because if they do learn your ways then they may end up lonely old men! and i wouldn't wish that on anybody.

johndoe200:
Actually, I don't think he will go through with it. The reaction of his wider family was quite strong. Their resistance surprised him. I'll have another talk with him. I must be honest though I feel so sorry for him. Men need their jollies.

Your still dodging my question iv been asking!! Please answer I'm very much intrigued. 

The family seem to be the only ones with common sense who have yet spoken too him. I really don't understand why you cant see that. (Feel sorry for the man Ha! always remember the word KARMA!!). 

[quote author=Engr.will link=topic=532906.msg6954488#msg6954488 date=1287260461]love cant wk without cash[/quote]AND WHY NOT?? ??

johndoe200:
Look this is Nigeria in Africa. We are still a traditional society. Men by nature have more than one woman. Married women on the other hand who have more than one man are called "ashewo". This is the natural order of things.


You miss understand the new ikebe is not going to be in the same house, they have an extensive "boys quarters" and she will be given a room in it.

I would love to give you her details but I fear you may instigate her to quit the marriage and that is not the outcome my friend desires.

That wasn't what i was looking for, I asked what would yours and her husbands reaction and answer be?? I understand there are diffrent ways off living in Nija with tradition and tribes but you would enter a marriage knowing what shall come, this isn't what the wife seen.


So are the boys quarters not outside the house?  , i shall take that as a yes! just on the wifes doorstep rubbing it in her face (all the near by nabours knowing she is no longer usefull in that department) and before you are to say she will not be made seen, will she not be there hanging her washing or walking the compound. This is fooked up!    ( sorry for my language ), Please tell your friend this is a bad idea, please have some heart for the wife i beg.

Maybe wise not to give me her details then, because that could be the outcome, but you should also keep out of ears way,  I'm all for helping and advising my friends but I'm not to live their life so i shall never tell them what they should or shouldn't do! they are big enough to make there own choices. Before you say anything I'm not saying you have told him to go ahead with it, but it does sound to me that you are very much up for it. Please, if you are giving him all the pros also tell him the cons on how it will effect his marriage, wife and children because it will and for what, abit on the side (i know, i don't think it's worth it either)

Tell him to rewind back the words he committed too on his wedding day.

^^^^^^^  The wife should still be aloud.

Can you tell me what yours and the husbands reaction and answer would be if the wife asked for a new bit on the side while he had his? now answer honest please.   

I would NOT tolerate cheating myself, and it doesn't matter how many ways you look at it IT'S STILL CHEATING, only small minded can think diffrent. I know dam well if i was to be in that woman shoes i would be out that marriage quicker than you can say fat AS#!! for her and her children's sake. But if shes not willing to do that then its only fair she gets a little fun while he gets his (which both should be away from the family house) i was shocked with the words move her in!! talk about rub it in the poor wife face. I feel sorry for the children. 

Please forward me the wifes details, i will give her some back bone.

^^^^^^^^^ AGREED! 

A woman can also love a man without money. 

Grrrrrrrrrr some men make me Sick!!!

So now the man is wanting a open marriage for himself, what about his wife will she no longer be getting anything in the bedroom department when this new fat ass comes along? and if that is the case then she will no longer be getting what she requires (her DRUG!!! lol ). so surely that will allow her to have a new bit on the side, yes? or is that not aloud for the wife (I'm sure that will be the case next _sexist!) and why not I'm sure after 15 years her husband has gone from a well built man into a old, hairy, beer bellied fat pig!!! so with that change in his physique and looks that will definitely match the reason for the husbands wondering eyes, am i not right?.




Be warned though! with a new younger model around for her, i doubt she will want anything to do with her Husband as he sounds like a real heartless pig that only thinks with his D###.

My love and strength goes out to his wife xxxxxxx

^^^^^  Second that

But easier said than done, there is only so many chances you can give somebody before you start falling apart inside and become somebody you never used to be. If this is the only time you have known it to happend and you are strong enough to give him a second chance then work at your marriage, but you need to tattoo on him next time he will be gone!!! and stand by your word. As it's said above "Once a cheat always a cheat" and if you don't drill it into him that this will be his first and last chance he will more likely stray again, don't make this easy for him you are worth more. xxxx

Mmmmmmmmm Mr Samid4lfe, can i not express myself I had a question also involved in that. I was intrigued in some of the replies by some, one saying No!! we don't we use a washing machine, so what if we do, are your clothes not getting washed at the end off the day?

I didn't refer to all as bush men, I quote "SOME off these replies are from bush men surely", My Hubbie-to-be isn't one  . For your reply, like i said while i can't always use the washing machine in Nija, they are dry cleaned and ironed by others (which is done by many, not just us whites  ), and when I'm in the UK they are washed by the washing machine (not by us women) I DO iron them (I don't underpants and socks though hahaha, Oh dear i hope that don't make me a bad Wife-to-be Lmao!!) 

Does it make a difference to you how your clothing is washed if they turn out clean??

Have a good day my friend, I see your well. 

Lmao!! I find this Post amusing, some off these replies are from bush men surely 

We white woman very rearly employs house maids to do daily duties around the house and look after our children, but from my experience alot of Nigerians do from what i have seen. what is the big deal if any of us women WHITE OR BLACK use a Washing machine anyway Please inform me I'm intrigued, are you against developing and inventing new things?? do some of you male sexes enjoy watching your wife's break their backs hand washing your clothes sweating in the heat. They could be spending that extra quality time with your children or yourself while the washing machine or dry cleaners are doing your clothing. Tut!! some men are unreal!! I have a washing machine at my place in Lagos and the way Ne-pa is the washing machine is still as new lol so my other options are mmmmm Handwash, NOPE!! (don't get me wrong i have tried but the size of my partners clothes when pulling them out a tub off water i started to get bigger biceps than him, which was worrying haha!!) its hard work and i would be there all day and i refuse too as my life's worth alot more, so i tend to use dry clean.
Now when I'm in the UK i am able to use the washing machine 24/7 so that's how its done.

Can i ask this?
When in a marriage if you have a fun loving wife and family and you all spend quality time together, you are all washed, fed and watered, you both work hard for your household even if that means your wife works and then collects your children where then she plays and helps with home work. or shes a housewife keeping everything in order for your return, then what does it matter who washes your clothes unless its some sexual fantasy then i don't see what the big deal is. 

r231:
you can buy a van for as low as £300 and put the stuff in it

shippment to 9ja will cost you about £700 - 750

and clear it for bout 150k

so if you have about £1500 to £2k

depending on the amount of stuff you want to send

Thank you for that Info, very good idea! I don't think the amount i will be taking would even fill half a van though. I will definitely keep that in mind for future reference, I will be sure off needing something like that soon.

Thank you again. 

Hahaha!! well that too, but Shhhhhhhhhh!!! not to let anyone know that just yet hehe!! lol

Hello!! I'm wanting to ship some personal household belongings to Nigeria (Lagos) from the UK, and would like to know if anybody has a container soon to be shipped or anybody you may know that would allow me to use any spare space they have. if so, how much space? what would be the charge?

Thank you for your time in reading this.

Haha!! phew!! I cant tell you how pleased i am to have passed that  i thought the dumb would off stuck lol (not that i totally disagreed with you hehe!)

Regards to the last tiny comment, my reply to that would be that I'm a very lucky lady when it comes to my position in the UK, the place is not the same without me so I'm always welcomed back with open arms lol. I just pray i find a friendly and successful place like that in Lagos before i venture on my own. 

Thanks for your time and humour Hun, god bless x

This is very disturbing, I'm shocked this question is even here . He should do what any loving and caring person would do and pay the school fees. At the end of the day he may not be blood to your friend but he his still a son and they should be treat equal, after all he looks up to him as his farther. Please advise your friend not to hurt him or his mother by letting them know his thoughts.

SCHOOL FEES!! this takes priority, the younger son can have a party when hes more comfortable.

Ha!! why, thank you, kind Sir lol

To be honest I'd rather not disclose, not to be rude but I'm not all sure i want people to know who i am (small world). but please continue with where this was going, any guidance or advice would be much appreciated.

Bleep Bleep

Well to be honest hunni when searching this site you was the one that inspired me to write this peace, so pinched your heading    . but with me being new to this site i didn't think it would be a big deal but i now know that maybe this shouldn't of been done, hence above lol. 

Yes Hun, we are not yet married but soon plan to be, we have lived together in the UK and when i travel to Nija we live together as i come for 5 month periods at a time, but with my status i have to travel back for visa reasons, so there is some separation at times. It's not been a walk in the park but we know what we both want and strong enough to work for it.

I'm in the same/similar situation as you when being in Nigeria we love it, but i also have to take in consideration I'm unable to work while I'm there until my permanent stay starts and there is still alot for me to learn. So will this enjoyment i feel while I'm there stay?? this is my reason for my posting, will we survive as well as a Nigerian??

I would love to keep intouch and keep you informed with my process vice-versa, i live in Lagos when I'm there and yourself? and if you are on Facebook there is a group i came across today that looks very interesting called Nigerwives Nigeria - foreign wives of Nigerians take a look. sorry if my first post botherd you, wasn't my intention too. 

Good luck with everything hun and hopefully speak soon.
God bless Bleep 

Haha!! Like it, nice to see it rubbed out though lmao.

Thanks Hun, Take care x

?? And if i was the same person which I'm not, what would be your problem and concern

please I'm intrigued!!

Sorry hun, but your VERDICT!! is WRONG!!

AngelUK25 = AngelUK25 (just to inform i'm a newby to this site, so welcome arms would be appreciated lol)

Sorry for your wasted time xxxx

do you still have any left to rent or are they taken? thanks

do you still have any left to rent or are they taken? thanks

Do you have any for rent now or are they all taken?? thanks

Thanks for the praise hun, much appreciated.

Your advise i plan to do, I think finding my feet within someone elses company is what i shall do first before i begin opening a business off our own. i have a few plans and ideas but only time will tell if they are right for me.

Thanks again hunni, Take care Bleep

My partner is Nigerian and i am European. we have been together for over six years and we plan to soon marry. I have been to Nigeria quite a few times for five month periods at a time, i would stay longer but due to my visiting visa i cant. I travel back to my family alone as my partner as responsibility's within his family business. times are hard due to this as we are not settled but we do know we want to grow old together and have a family in the near future. once married i will live full time in Nija (Lagos) and just visit the UK for holidays.

I love Nigeria, it definitely has its own personality. I'm a very open minded person and willing to try new things in life. I know we are strong together and still getting stronger with the distance we have had to survive, I love his family dearly and i definitely get along 100percent and lovingly with his mum and sisters. I basically would like some honest replies on how you think a foreigner would adapt to the Nigerian culture, would i struggle with carers etc? would i ever become as independent as i am in my own country? (Not in the way off wanting to over power my partner off course hes my rock), I may be blonde but i do have some commen sense, I'm normally one for observing the situation before jumping in head first and i know there are Pro and cons about everything.



If you have any idea about how life is/could be for a "white wife" in Nigeria, in terms of daily life, social life, family etc.  I'd love to hear about it!

Thanks guys and god bless xx

Hello!!, I'm wanting to send around five or six suitcases full off clothing, shoes and some house hold items to Lagos. these are not for selling they would be my own personal things. i need guidance and advise on a few things as my experience in this is zero. Which are the most reliable companies? What is the cost I'm looking at to do this? Would i have to buy a crate or box? do i find someone with a container and ask to lend space for a fee? (<------ is this safe?) it will be a while before i return to the UK after i travel to Nija this is my reason for doing so.

If anyone could help by advising me with shipping companies and the cost I'm looking at for that amount of cases or any other advice i need. i would be very grateful.

Thanks

.

hello!!, Can i ask what are your views on Retirement care homes / Old peoples homes also what inprovements are needed in them if any? and does anyone have any stories about them??

Hello!!, I'm wanting to send around five or six suitcases full off clothing, shoes and some house hold items to Lagos. these are not for selling they would be my own personal things. i need guidance and advise on a few things as my experience in this is zero. Which are the most reliable companies? What is the cost I'm looking at to do this? Would i have to buy a crate or box? do i find someone with a container and ask to lend space for a fee? (<------ is this safe?) it will be a while before i return to the UK after i travel to Nija this is my reason for doing so.

If anyone could help by advising me with shipping companies and the cost I'm looking at for that amount of cases or any other advice i need. i would be very grateful.

Thanks