₦airaland Forum

Ha

OP you are very on point ...why spend that money to woo someone you don't like when you can spend it on the girl that genuinely love you ...kudos OP

I feel those who would be called below can eat very well and would help me win the money ...we would share it (not equally though)

Tosyne2much
Naijaboiy
Cutehector
Wristbangle
Refiner
Mzztega
STFUareyouGod
Kashybabe
Queennikky


Add your 9 names below

Be back

Well, this whole story is a twist but I think it's relevant. _________________________


During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.”

Ask them to describe the steps needed to make a cup of tea, they will say something like:
1. boil water
2. put tea in a pot
3. when the water is boiled pour it into the pot
4. wait 5 mins
5. pour the tea into cups
6. add milk
7. drink
Now the fun begins. You need to start asking these kinds of questions:
Boiling water?
* where is the water coming from
* where is the kettle
* how do you get the water into the kettle
* how do you know how much water to put into the kettle
* what if there is no water/kettle/electricity?
* what if you fill sensor fails?
* what if your boiling sensor fails
Put tea in pot?
* where's the pot, what if there isn't one? should we have thought of that before boiling the water?
* where is the tea, which kind of tea? should we have asked first, perhaps we shouldn't have started this if we don't have the right tea?
* similar questions about filling and sensors
Pouring boiling water?
* are you sure its boiling? how can you make sure that the machine doing the pouring got the right 'done' signal from the kettle?
* How do you make sure that the machine pourer knows where the pot is?
* What if the pot tips over during pouring?
* etc.
And so on - you can go on for hours. They will get bored and say "yes but this level of detail is silly", you can sagely smile and say "exactly".


ps. after all that tell them never to compare their jobs with yours

#teamComputerEngineering

Them never born the girl way go friend zone me

This happened three years ago ....a friend followed me to my house to sleep ....the next day we were going back to school(different schools in different states) so the night before he borrowed my laptop to use and I think he slept off while using it. So in the morning we were both preparing to go to the airport. We reached around 10 am....it was in port-harcourt int'l airport ....he was going to Lagos and I was going to Abuja ....so we were conversing now and then they announced his flight which was around 11 am since we were conversing I didn't bother bringing out my laptop then he left and I was alone . My own flight was to leave by 12 so I said let me bring out my laptop to continue my seasonal movie....as I opened the laptop screen ....it was Loud Moans of sexual nature (obviously the dog was watching porn) ....I tried hard to press the space bar multiple times to pause it no way....everybody just turned to see who it was ....I wanted to die of embarrassment I just sharply closed the screen..in my mind I was just repeating "GOD take my soul right now" like 100 times...you should see the disgust on people's faces....in my head I have planned on how I'll stab the bastard multiple times and dissolve his body in acid.

The worst part is that the slowpoke was now denying it.....mind you the goat is still my close friend

He is her spiritual husband

Incoming Femi-Nazi's (feminist) comments

Her spirit animal is a dog

From the producers who brought you binta and friends , life is beautiful ...stay tuned for the complete tori after the commercial

glimpse:
lwkm....that your uncle ehn.

let him be decieving himself ....the bachelor life is sweet for him .......

I remember the case of my uncle the first day my aunt ( his mom ) brought it up ... He was shocked because he was not even thinking of such... hell he didn't even have a gf then....I stay in his apartment rather than hostel and he we don't even stay in the same country as parents ...that's how he told one of his close female friends ...act as my fiancé can you do that ..the girl agreed the next time he spoke with his mom and my mom he told them "speak to my fiancé" they talked briefly....he told them he would bring her soon ....that soon is close to 2 years now.. I think they've stopped disturbing him

When I was last little we had this old lady as a maid and she had kids...older than me then so they asked me in Hausa " do you have "blue" film " as a naive littl kid I was I nodded my head and truly we had a video cassette that was blue literally... It was used to clean the inside of the video player ....anyways I saw their excitement when I said I had... I was suprised why they were so excited so they told me to bring it that they would return it the next day ...next day came ...the older one wiped me on my head that am I a fool what kid of nonsense did I give him.....didn't understand his anger until I had grown many years after I knew the meaning ... ...Mehn to be naive is not good oo

If she says no pre-marital sex in the relationship I won't argue as far as she would agree to the terms that pre marital spending is bad, pre marital shopping in Dubai is bad , let her wait till marriage then every other thing follows until then.

"Lately, a lot of girls, around 24- 28 years of age, have been advising me to "find a rich guy to settle with. None of the other qualities in him matter as much as his bank balance."
I am glad I ignored this advice and now am dating this wonderful guy, trying to build a life together and not just our bank balance."


Drop yours below

Impressive

Ultimatesammie:
Its funny how some guys here are saying he did d right thing nd how they wud do the same wen a similar thread/cases but in this case it was a woman trying to let a lady in a relationship know that her man is cheating on her nd they all said why cant the woman mind her business.
Some Men wud never cease to amaze u.

olatunde I don catch your ancestor

let me come back from church

the likes of Tosyne2much and Toks2008 etc have all said it. but this is 2016....kissing ass and behaving like hand bag should stop


1. CONSTANTLY ASKING FOR FAVORS: You know, this is not even about girls but trust nobody who constantly ask you for favors, they are only taking advantage. In the case of girls, if she constantly asks for your help especially when it comes to finances and buying stuff for herself, it’s just clear that she is in for the goodies, don’t be fooled bro .. Some even ask for favors that Bill Gates daughter won’t even ask her father.

2. SHE NEVER RETURN YOUR CALLS: She barely return your text messages and missed calls and when she does, it’s mostly the ‘k’, ‘lol’ ‘yes’ kind of replies after taking days to respond. I need not tell you that she’s not interested in you.

3. SHE ALWAYS COMES OUT WITH YOU WITH HER GIRLS: This is a clear sign to alert you that this girl don’t want alone time, she’s only there to please her friends or make her friends enjoy a bit of the goodies you are offering. Look elsewhere or grab one of her friends if you can. Some girls might even bring male friends just to piss you off, while you foot the bills.

4. SHE NEVER TAKES PICTURES WITH YOU: If you are the guy always taking photos of the girl or if she prefer taking photos of the food, drink, gift you bought for her instead, then my bro, be prepared to move on. You don’t matter like that. Try go through her social media/phone if there’s no photo of you, think twice. Some people might say it doesn’t matter but trust me every girl that loves you will share beautiful moments you share together or want to take pictures with you, every minute you spend together. Don’t ignore this, it’s a cemented fact.

5. SHE INTRODUCES YOU TO HER FRIENDS AS A ‘FRIEND’: I was once asked why do guys hate when they are introduced as a friend, and my answer was why not? Ladies should know that this particular thing hurts more than being shot, especially when you are so into her and in your head she’s the love of your life. That is clear that she’s not in a relationship with you, at least to her friends or whoever you got introduced to.

6. SHE FLIRTS WITH YOUR FRIENDS OR FIND YOUR FRIENDS WAY COOLER: The worst that could happen is introducing your girl to your friends and she start to get flirty with them. It could be for the fun of it but if she’s usually bored around you but come alive when she’s with you and your friends, try do your homework well or simply leave her to one of your friends, not an easy decision though but it will save you time to move on.

7. SHE NEVER COMMENTS ON HOW YOU LOOK: Everybody like compliments but if even in your best, she never say, “you look good” or “I like what you are wearing” then the answer is simple, ‘SHE DON’T CARE’. It’s straight like that. Don’t sweat it.

8. ACTS FRIENDLY WHENEVER SHE IS NEED: She usually calls you all the sweet names, ‘boo boo’, hun, bla bla … only when she needs a favor. Do you still need to be told bro? if she does this and you still stick around ...your picture is being used to fan your village witches

9. SHE FINDS YOU BORING: This is how to tell if a girl thinks you are boring, she don’t laugh to your jokes, she’s constantly on her phone when you are with her, if you don’t break the silence, she don’t make any effort to make a convo, she don’t even shout or singalong to her favorite song when you play it in her presence, bro, you are trying too much, go for someone who appreciate you, especially if you don’t think you are that boring.

10. SHE NEVER WANT TO GET INTIMATE WITH YOU: If after all this, you are still with her, getting a kiss, touch, s*x will be one hell of a problem, you are going to be put on a strict timetable. NO PDA (don’t even think about it). During s3x, that’s if she decide to give you one finally, might be boring than a couple in their late 90′s trying to have a doggy style.

Take Note, Don’t waste your Hard Earned Money in 2016 *Be Wise*

please don't let them use your destiny to cook ofada rice oh and patiently waiting for the Feminists or as i like to call them (Femi-Nazi's)

CC : STFUareyouGod , Tosyne2much, Toks2008

but..but...Nairaland is not yahooanswers.com or better still webmd.com

Brought to you by Wale Adenuga Productions

so please how do i go about it

Bevista:
If you read the press statement, you will observe that you can now source FX independently and deposit cash into your domicilary account where you can wire out for your fees payment or simply get a dollar MasterCard.

did it with my sister ...,,1) it took weeks ..........2) lots of documents were required which the school didn't wanna give out
so really i dont wanna go through that....we both school in Toronto not an african country that you can just fly one day and back......anyways thanks though

poseidon12:
You can still pay school fees through the banks.

my last hope to pay my f***king fees....why are these people like this .....would start making people travel to ghana just to change currency...mtcheww

she should have ended it with ....from the producers who brought you Binta and Friends

lmaoooo......when it comes to parents issue she no get mouth oo she dey craze make i o spend on top my mumsi ...when my village people never use my picture as hand fan .....and these things happen real life ...where a wife controls the husband on how he treats hus family.............as for me them never born the woman way go try that one abi wetin you think.

STFUareyouGod:
hehehehehehe. See as I dey laugh seriously. Hahahahahahahaha. True tho. But that kind girl no go gree you help people o. To even spend ontop your parents go be war

lol....but think of it from this perspective.... if you work in an oil company obviously what your wive would be collecting as monthly allowance would be high probably 200k compared to if you're a teacher .....you cant be a teacher and your wife would ask you for 200k monthly allowance...she knows your capability and would cut her coat according to her size

STFUareyouGod:
Wow! Beautifully carved

But I don't agree with the part about my wife being in charge of my salary. That's not happening. Never!

i dey ride okada i no get thumb

* My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.


* My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.


* My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.


* My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.


* My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in-charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.


* My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.


* My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.


* My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm-lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.


* My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.


* My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.


* My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.


* My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.


* My son, your mother, Asake rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.


* My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?


* My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.


* My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.


* My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.


* My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.


* My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.


* My son, your mother and I is not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.


* My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.


* My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing old and having children to take care of you too.


* My son, pray with your family, there is a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to God that knows everything, everyday.


* My son, if I had taken my time to tell you all these and your marriage did not last like that of your mother and I, then you are a bastard.

CC: lalasticlala
tosyne2much , STFUareyouGOD

bae: Arian i need you to ring me ....
arian: ah why so soon
bae: all my Friends are getting ringed
arian: issokay just remove your phone from silent