₦airaland Forum

Joke apart! Is any man ugly? No man is ugly as far as you can put food on the table and impregnate your wife!!!!

Okie..... Too busy to read this morning.... Booking my space... The person below will say something sensible... HaPpy New Year...

Dreaded terrorist group ISIS are at it again! A “fatwa” was issued by the terrorist organization back in January according to documents seized by the Anti-ISIS US Special Operations Forces which have just been released. The document entails rules on how ISIS members are to treat women captured as $ex slaves. The terrorist organization captures women who they give out to their fighters as rewards and incentives, the women are r*ped repeatedly, sometimes by more than one person. Far from trying to conceal the practice, Islamic State has boasted about it and established a department of ‘war spoils’ to manage slavery. Read after the cut… It begins: “One of the graces which Allah has bestowed up the State of Caliphate is the conquest of large surface areas of the country and one of the inevitable consequences of jihad is that women and children of infidels will become captives of Muslims. “Consequently, it is necessary to clarify some rules pertaining to captured prisoners to avoid any violations in dealing with them.” 1. 1.It is not permissible for the owner of a female captive to have intercourse with her until after she has had menstrual cycle and becomes clean. 2. 2.If she does not menstruate and is pregnant, he is not allowed to have intercourse with her until after she has given birth. 3. 3.It is not permissible to cause her to abort if she is pregnant. 4. 4.If the owner of a female captive releases her, only he can have intercourse with her and he cannot allow someone else to have intercourse with her. 5. 5.If the owner of a female captive, who has a daughter suitable for intercourse, has $exual relations with the latter, he is not permitted to have intercourse with her mother and she is permanently off limits to him. Should he have intercourse with her mother then he is not permitted to have intercourse with her daughter and she is to be off-limits to him. 6. 6.The owner of two sisters is not allowed to have intercourse with both of them; rather he may only have intercourse with just one. The other sister is to be had by him, if he were to relinquish ownership of the first sister by selling her, giving her away or releasing her. 7. 7.If the female captive is owned by a father, his son cannot have intercourse with her and vice-versa. Moreover, intercourse with his wife’s female captive is also not permissible. 8. 8.If a father had intercourse with his female captive then gave her away or sold her to his son, he is no longer permitted to have intercourse with her. 9. 9.If the female captive becomes pregnant by her owner, he cannot sell her and she is released after his death. 10. 10.If the owner releases his female captive then he is not permitted to have intercourse with her afterwards because she has become free and is no longer his property. 11. 11.If two or more individuals are involved in purchasing a female captive, none of them are permitted to have $ex with her because she is part of a joint ownership. 12. 12.It is not permissible to have intercourse with a female captive during her menstrual cycle. 13. 13.It is not permissible top have anal $ex with a female captive. 14. 14.The owner of a female captive should show compa$$ion towards her, be kind to her, not humiliate her and not a$$ign her work she is unable to perform. 15. 15.The owner of a female captive should not sell her to an individual whom he knows will treat her badly or do unto her what Allah has forbidden.

1. Spoken English It is so sad that majority of Nigerian students in tertiary institutions don't bother about polishing their spoken and written english. Some graduates speak english worse than a toddler, making one wonder what they spent 16yrs doing in school. You hear them spew gabbage like "he come and slap me and I come and beat him". If you speak such english to an interviewer, even with first class clearly written on your CV, he will probably think you runzed your way through school. The use of words like yeah, goddamn, omo, sh*t, f**k etc should be stopped cos they don't portray you as a decent person. 2. Mode of dressing Looking fly on campus was one of the things I enjoyed during my undergraduate days. It was fun cos you had so much of the opposite sex around to admire you. The moment I graduated, my orientation changed. Not that a graduate should stop wearing denims and sneakers, but sagging and putting on studs with crazy hairstyle should come to a stop if such a person wants to fit into the corporate world. In the corporate world, you get to mingle with matured or married men with enough decency. Sagging in their midst will make you look kiddo. Just cos your favourite musician davido sags his trousers doesn't mean you should do thesame. He gets paid to do that while you could get fired for doing thesame. 3. Spendthrift attitude The first time I heard someone say his salary is 70k, I hissed and mocked him in my mind cos that was thesame amount we students spent on phones just to oppress each other. Now I've seen people earning less than 45k even with years of experience. What kind of person do you think you'll turn out to be when all you want is the latest expensive gadgets? In the real world, no one cares about the kind of phone you use. Even on naija campus these days, girls have stopped falling for a guy because of the phone he uses, they now trip for flashy cars. So, before you spend that huge amount on a phone, ask yourself this question: "is it going to improve my standard of living?". I didn't know I could turn my smart phone to a mini laptop with WPS, Excel etc until I got employed. My phone was all about bbm, whatsapp and facebook. I now saw the full potential of the phone. You need to cut down on your spendings. Also, get the idea of clubbing off your mind or it might ruin your pockets. The money saved from disciplining yourself can be used to start something great. Use your head. 4. Laziness You remember how you use to complain about the large notebooks you have to read for exams? If you lack a good reading culture, it is certain you will be bereft of ideas to contribute to a company's growth. You are always seen reading gossip blogs where you are updated with the lifestyle of celebrities but lack the idea of what the top 20 questions interviewers ask. Scaling through campus days as a lazy person doesn't mean such is likely to continue in the real world. Carrying on with laziness is what leads to prostitution, where a lady feels she can use her body to fetch her daily bread instead of her brain, or where a guy still expects his uncle to be the one to help him achieve his targets even after getting him a job through nepotism. You get to wonder why they spent 16yrs developing their brain in school. 5. Pride I remember when I was in my final year at school, I was always happy about what the future held for me. I knew I was going to get a job that pays 350k immediately I graduated. Reality slapped me in the face when my first offer was a job paying 30k. I had no choice but to take the offer cos I was already tired of adding more months to the six months I had spent at home just sleeping. Luckily for me, that job paved the way for a better one cos it gave me the needed experience recruiters want to see on a CV. I've now realise that 350k is only feasible for those in the oil sector and those with huge years of experience, not a fresh graduate who doesn't know his left from his right. As you are about graduating, never see any job as demeaning. Take it up while you continue searching for a better one. This gives you experience. A bird in hand is better than a million in the bush. Remember, you are a nobody and no one gives a damn about you out there. So, drop your pride and use your head and hands or end up spending years still eating your mum's food with insults.

no amount of money that can buy your Root of where you start from , a white man is acting like a white man coz Right from the Beginning he is a white a man, so we the black should be proud of our selfs and act like who we are that's the only way we can get back our Respect that we Deserve, Beside you can buy a white skin with your money, but no amount of money can buy a black skin, we Nigerians should be vry proud of our self, coz we are the Biggest and Largest black Nation in the world, compliment of the season to you 080football nd maulud el,mubaraq, you guys are Doing fantastically well, its not Easy as you always try to get us closer to the updates, keep it up, GOD bless you your fans and Nigerians in all!

He might be a multimillionaire footballer, but Ogenyi Onazi still lives as regular as possible. The Lazio midfielder is currently in Jos, Nigeria where he is spending the Serie A winter break. He shared a photo of himself buying roadside 'Akara’- a Nigerian food made cake made with beans. “That moment when the #Jos weather is too cold and you’ve got to book for your #Akara to step it down,” the 22-year-old midfielder wrote alongside the photo. The midfielder will be back in action when Serie A resumes in the first week of January 2016. Onazi’s Lazio will be hosting Carpi in matchday 18 of the Italian league.

We shall no be part of them in Jesus name.... As far as we have lived from Jan till now! No death will cut our destiny.... RIP!

Are you kidding me...... 'Rose who has
become a thorn in the flesh of the Almighty with
her constant vituperations, has not ceased in
pouring invectives on God and anything religious.' Thorn ke.... Pls recompose this... She's not even as importance as spider to God because she's of no use. So... Let just pray for her/him to repent because our days are numbered on this mother earth...

Prominent human rights lawyer, Femi Falana, SAN, has called for the prosecution of the Chief of Army, Lt.-Gen. Tukur Buratai, and soldiers involved in the attack on the Shi’ite movement and their leader, Ibrahim El-Zakzaky, in Zaria, Kaduna State. A clash between members of the Shi’ite sect and the convoy of the army chief on December 12 and 13 in Zaria, left at least 300 people dead, the Human Rights Watch said. The soldiers attached to Mr. Buratai’s convoy had accused Shi’ite members of blocking a public highway and attempting to assassinate Mr. Buratai, a claim the Islamic Movement in Nigeria has since denied. “Assuming that the Shi’ite members actually blocked the road, why was the nuisance not reported to the police? Are the authorities of the Nigerian Army above the law of the land?” Mr. Falana, a Senior Advocate of Nigeria, said in a statement Wednesday. “The army authorities have refused to release the bodies of those who were massacred to their families for burial while the personal physicians of the injured ones and their family members have been denied access to them”. The Lagos lawyer disclosed that no fewer than 300 members of the sect, without allowing them access to lawyers, had been taken to a Magistrate Court over the past two days on the basis of First Information Reports. “The suspects were refused bail by the Magistrate who ordered that they be remanded in prison custody”, Falana said. “The leader of the group, Sheik Ibrahim El- Zakzaky, and his wife who were also shot by the blood thirsty goons were taken away and dumped in a military custody. Up till now, their whereabouts are unknown. “Although Sheik El-Zakzaky is reported to have been transferred from a military custody to a police station, he has been denied access to his personal physicians and lawyers”. Mr. Falana reminded the Army and Police Authorities that under a “repressive” military junta, the right of access to detainees was fought and won. “Thus, in Chief Gani Fawehinmi v. General Sani Abacha (1996) 5 NWLR (PT 447) 198 at 202, the Court of Appeal ordered the Attorney-General of Federation, Inspector-General of Police and the operatives of the State Security Services to allow the wife and personal physicians of the appellant, a political detainee, to have access to him in prison custody ‘at all reasonable times’. “In requesting the Inspector-General of Police to allow access to the detainees his attention ought to be drawn to Section 14(2) of the Administration of Criminal Justice Act which provides as follows: “A person who has the custody of an arrested suspect shall give the suspect reasonable facilities for obtaining legal advice, access to communication for taking steps to furnish bail, and otherwise making arrangements for his defence or release’”. The rights lawyer, therefore, urged the police boss to allow the sect members access to their families, personal physicians, and legal practitioners “at all reasonable times”. “Having undertaken to end impunity in the country, President Buhari should ensure that the Chief of Army Staff and all the soldiers who took part in the violent attack and arson in Zaria are brought to book without any further delay”, Falana declared

Lol...... NA her prayer God answer pass

Seriously...... We are in for Change indeed...... Apc People without integrity

Abeg who get charger.... My battery red! End time dressing!

I will keep it in mind!

We too dey watch 007 now!

NA so now.... Move forward! As far as I can give that out! Am greater than it.... NA she loss

Muslims are confused set of people! Only Jesus Reign! Repent and come to the religion of love and you will see the manifestation of God in your life!
Remember ! No one cometh to the father except through Jesus!

Guysz..... Not everything we joke with oooo

The NEMA Coordinator in Adamawa, Mallam Sa’ad Bello, said 27 people were confirmed dead and 96 injured from the blast that rocked a Friday Juma’at mosque in Jambutu area of Yola. Bello told News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) Friday that the dead and injured have been taken to Federal Medical Centre and Specialist Hospital Yola. “So far we have recorded 27 death and 96 injured from the mosque blast”, Bello said. Bello called on the public to come and donate blood to save lives. Also speaking after visiting the hospitals to sympathise with the victims, Gov Bindow Jibrilla, condemned the incident and urged for more vigilance. “I also want to appeal to the public to troop out and donate blood to the injured”, Bello said. The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the blast at the newly opened mosque occurred few minutes after the mosque was inaugurated by the District Head of Jimeta, Alhaji Muhammed Baba- Paris. The district head along with other dignitaries including a former Minister, Alhaji Hassan Adamu narrowly escaped the blast as they left the mosque shortly after the inauguration to observe their prayers at their usual juma’at mosque in Jimeta area of Yola. (NAN)

Seriously, the worst thing you can do with your life is to follow
Nigerian politics.. The thought is just too painful, the
drama and deceit, the lying and looting, the
corruption and compromise., watching yesterday's
screening, all i could see was the darkness and
depravity of man in its exalted position..
Let them keep deceiving themselves, just imagine Lai Mohammed situation eh,sure Amaechi
will scale through.. Forget all this stupid PDP & APC
drama.. I regret ever being carried away by it.

Hmmmmm........ Nothing is ever hiding under the sun..... Becareful pEople.... She tot she has it all when she was in office.... Look at her now... Integrity in the mud.... What a pity and shame to womanhood!!

Guess my best post on this site!

Awesome awesome..... I love this..... Misstechy... Keep it up and may the lord take you higher... I nick you "Bosslady"

Browse it and you will know that I Northern Federal University, there is no Church in Just One.......

Evaromantik:
Thats the consequences of overzealousness in religion...........Africa is so religious,even the whiteman that brought us christianity goes to church no more,while we have lost our original religion to them................Europeans really underdeveloped Africa

Those that you should not go to Church?

raayah:
It depends on your relationship, if your partner is comfortable with it, go for it.

For all of you metioning me... Guess what, I MASTURBATE and I dont give two flying pigs.

Let me be

For the ladies.. Lie down on your bed tonight and spread those legs (sorry if you are on your period ).
Use your fingers to find the spot.. (once you find it u will know).
Now stroke it in circular motions..
Keep going, it feels like you want to pee, just keep going.
You will get to that sweet sweet land....

You're welcome

Guess you see masturbation as harmless way to relieve sexual tension and stress, or something in between. Sexuality is designed for relationship. Masturbation, in contrast, most often isolates and drives a person away from real relating, guess you think it helps you fight the
loneliness of not being in a relationship,or it's about sexual curiosity?You heard or
saw something that made you curious, so you
experimented with your body.You experienced touch during play with friends that made you curious, or you have been abused or masturbate to
rekindle the feeling of being wanted by a man? Dear, pull the mask and come out of this uncleanliness, low self esteem, addiction,lust .....Yes your first experiment soon became a
habit. You liked how you felt for the first few
minutes afterwards,I guess you feel extremely
guilty. Flee from it....."Flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18,
NIV).
In order to "flee," get away things that brings that thinking and run to God to help you.... He will.."God doesn't expect you to focus on
your failures, Instead, God wants you to
ask for forgiveness and then look to him for help."masturbation is an the empty imitations of love that you may think

Tychinzy:
Words spoken by girls in anger are not trully frm dia heart.

Your true self comes out when you are angry guy and out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh..... Nothing like slip of tonguez(Na grammer) If you don't have it in mind and have not have any deep thinking about it.... She won't say that!

Pls where can I download match highlight clips for lastesT English premiership

SAMBARRY:
go and ask Google search engine. It will give you befitting answer that are meant for fools like you

#Shoroniyen....... Manner pls

I believe.... I believe in Faith......; I don't wait for fate. I believe in excellence......; Men do not celebrate mediocrity. "I believe in favour......; but I don't bank on chance "I believe in destiny....;but I know it does not mean, 'what will be, will be, or else, there will nothing called hard work and creativity.' I believe that so many things happen that are not in my control..... but I have chosen to take responsibility for how I respond to them. There will be no excuses. I believe there will be trials and temptations.... but I know that when HE has tried me, I shall come forth as gold. "I believe in timing....; but I believe you should use today's time to prepare for perfect timing." I believe in love.....; but I know its choice-driven and values-centered and not chance-organized, and certainly not, self or sex focused. I believe in holiness.....but I know it goes beyond physical appearance. If I make my tongue holy, my whole body shall soon be clean. I believe in God......that's why I have FAITH for Excellence; that's why God's love is my timing for destiny achievements; that's why I lean on His grace for holy living and a purpose driven life. Its a new day. I believe, so help me God. Amen.

SAMBARRY:
I taya o.na every thing them go dey quote Bible for.

Kotokoto

the thing come dey pain you?

HungerBAD:
You can go to School, but you cannot buy Class.

Only Governor without an iota of CLASS in Nigeria. But, again why was i expecting anything good from a PDP Governor.

Guess you need to think next time before you type.... What is doing is class because those are among who voted for him and showing them love makes him classless or wad?

THANKS FOR SPENDING TIME WITH US SINCE 26 MAY,2015, WE HAD GOOD TIMES IN JUNE/JULY, BUT COMING AUGUST I THINK WE WON'T HAVE FANNY MOMENTS ANYMORE, BECAUSE ON 8 AUGUST,2015* THE ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE IS STARTING AND I CAN NOT LEAVE WITHOUT WATCHING FOOTBALL, THE SPANISH LA LIGA, ITALIAN SERIE A,& BUNDASLIGA, ARE ALSO STARTING THIS AUGUST SO I DON'T WANT TO MISS ANY GAME THIS SEASON, SO DEAR LADIES WE WON'T BE SPENDING TIME TOGETHER ANYMORE, WE ARE VERY SORRY AS MEN TO SAY THISNO TELEMUNDO AND ZEEWORLD FOR YOU BECAUSE THE DSTV REMOTES WILL BE IN OUR HANDS STARTING FROM AUGUST 7, -MAN UNITED ARE BACK IN UEFA -CR7 WILL BE SCORING HAT TRICKS -MESSI WILL BE PERFORMING FANTASTIC SKILLS -I DON'T WANT TO MISS BALE, HAZARD, JAMES, KANE, ROONEY, MATA, OZIL, DI MARIA, BENZEMA, MODRIC, MARCELO, WILLIAMS, AUGERO, YAYA TOURE, LUKAKU,ALVES,MASCHERANO NEYMAR, POGBA,SANCHEZ,SUAREZ, DEPAY, CECH, WALCOT,BUSQUETS,RAKITIC,INIESTA, AND CASSILAS HOPE U UNDERSTAND LADIES FOOTBALL FOOORREVERRRR 2015/ 2016*SEASON #Gbam