₦airaland Forum

Learn to apportion blames rightly. Inasmuch as I agree with about Nigerians and greed, this one is a global issue. Even taxi drivers and most other transporters have also increased their fares…

flokii:
Most business owners in Nigeria operate from the standpoint of greed, nothing else.. their target is to reap Nigerians off by every means possible. It's the reason you'd hardly find them existing in other African countries. Imagine Air Peace going to South Africa or UK to increase air fares the way he is doing in Nigeria, that'll be the end for his business.

Nigerians are very wicked people who love to capitalize on every situation to hurt their fellow countrymen.

Which black man you see sleeping outside in winter without shelter in Canada? Make una slow down with the exaggeration abeg. Anyway, 15 million naira won’t get him anywhere in the Canada of today, as a new immigrant(student).

LordBiden:
Life in Canada too is uncertain,there are many out there sleeping outside in the cold without accomodations, without jobs.

Na you be the content creator with this your made up story. Your no nonsense uncle no fit stop his wife from misbehaving…

KnowledgePower7:
Never Marry A Female Content Creator

Anytime I go on Facebook I always see my uncle wife misbehaving online and calling it content creator

All her life is documted in video.
She shares screenshot of private messages online

Any small thing she run to social media and tell the whole world what happened.
Imagine she video her son breastfeeding and uploaded it. A very private moment

Now my uncle was seen as a no nonesense man, but the way this woman talk too much about their personal things is baffling.
She will even post after they had sex🙄

There is no single privacy

Then the one that burst my head was when she started uploading sexy pictures with half revealing clothes😤😤 A married woman oo

I used a burner account to advice her to stop doing this and she insulted me and blocked me.

The husband go dey work
Him wife go dey embarrass the whole family online in the name of content creators
Now the respect for this man don reduce because he now looks like a weak man and the wife looks like she is running the show

I suspect say na because of this man make Atiku no wan step down. The man go wan be president too and won’t step down for Atiku now nor in 2031. Because after Tinubu na dat time political war go start for as per who go succeed him from the north. Kwankwaso has nothing to lose as it is…even if Obi no win, he can easily be in the good books of Obidients. But Atiku don make himself a spoiler…

Dogalmighty17:
Why is he wearing an earring though?

Na where you see earring? He is likely wearing an earpiece.

2mch:
Lmao. Social media warrior. Honestly that 3 votes na big insult. Senate don tire for the disgrace you brought to the hallowed chambers. You were trafficking underage, fighting her publicly like a market woman, allegation of drugs and abuse. Even your brothers and village people no like you. You became a liability quickly that lack class enough to sit with those men in that chamber.

You dont see how akpabio quickly tried to dead his own issue? You were busy arresting people illegally and fighting on social media.

Which senate are you talking about?

Iyeku:
Not peculiar to only one political party, other political parties do the same , it's Nigeria nothing different. Go to South East same thing happening there

You people need help walahi! Wetin concern south east with what APC is doing to itself? Because someone stole means that stealing should be treated as a way of life?

Luckysbab:
Change that US to Nigeria and Trump to Tinubu, everywhere go be yam pepper scatter.

Ndi Saner clime

Funny Nigerians! American corruption favours there country, whereas Naija own de enter politicians pockets. That’s the difference…

How on earth would you be able to experience all of the mentioned stages when you are not in a marriage covenant? Unless you were in a common law relationship aka cohabitating before marriage.

Avedonn:
Not all marriages go through the listed stages. Some couples have already experienced all of the mentioned stages while they were dating, unless they were pretending with each other during that time, or they got married after only a few months of dating.

That said, I believe most marriages fail because of boredom. Doing the same things every day for years, without any spontaneity, kills the thrill.

Living according to the dictates of the Bible will save humanity all these long epistle.

Brownlumi:
Does a very sexually experienced person have a higher chance of cheating in marriage than a sexually restrained/inexperienced person?

Short answer:

Yes — but not automatically, and not for the simplistic reason many people think.
Because the real issue is not merely:
“How many people has this person slept with?”

The deeper issue is:
“What kind of habits, beliefs, appetites, and emotional wiring has that sexual history built into the person?”

That’s the real question.

And this is where the conversation becomes very interesting.


---

Let’s break it down properly, the theory basically says:
“If someone has been highly sexually active with many people before marriage, won’t that make it harder for them to suddenly become sexually exclusive after marriage?”
That is a very reasonable thought because human beings are not robots.

You don’t spend years training one pattern of living and then expect marriage ring to suddenly perform miracle surgery on your instincts.

That’s not how people work.

If someone has spent years in a lifestyle of:
novelty, multiple partners, casual access, secret meetings, emotional detachment, thrill-based intimacy, low restraint, high sensual stimulation
…then yes: that person may carry those grooves into marriage.

That’s not “judgment.” That’s just how conditioning works.

Why past sexual behaviour can increase cheating risk

There are several reasons.

1) Habit formation: This is the biggest one. When someone repeatedly lives a certain way, it becomes normal to them. So if a person has lived by: “follow chemistry”, “if I feel like it, I do it” “I can separate body from commitment”, “private pleasure is not a big deal”…then marriage does not automatically erase those mental grooves.
This is why I believe:
Marriage does not create character. It reveals and tests it.
A wedding can give: structure, legitimacy, companionship, accountability. But it does not magically produce: discipline, integrity, restraint, self-governance. Those things must already be growing in the person.

2) Sexual novelty can become part of their appetite: This one is huge and people don’t talk about it honestly enough. Some people are not just attracted to sex itself, they become attached to: newness, variety, the chase, the forbidden, being desired by different people etc. That is a different beast entirely because now the issue is not:
“I need sex.”
It becomes:
“I need stimulation, novelty, validation, conquest, or excitement.”

And marriage, by design, is stable but novelty addiction feeds on: unpredictability, secrecy, new bodies, fresh emotional chemistry, ego validation. So yes:
someone heavily trained on novelty may struggle more with exclusivity.
That’s very real.

3) The person may have weakened their “internal brakes”: This one is psychological and spiritual. Every time someone crosses a line and keeps crossing it, one of two things happens. Either:
they feel conviction and turn back
Or
they normalize it. And once something becomes normalized, it stops feeling “serious.”
So if someone has repeatedly done: sneaky relationships, cheating, casual intimacy,
emotionally overlapping relationships,
…then over time their conscience can become less alarmed by those behaviours.
So yes, repeated sensual looseness can reduce moral sensitivity. That is a real thing.
And that matters more than people admit.

4) They may confuse desire with destiny
: Some people are trained by life to believe:
“If I feel strongly, it must be meaningful.”
That’s dangerous. Because in marriage, you will still meet very attractive people, emotionally interesting people, people who “get you,” people who spark chemistry.
If your whole pre-marital life trained you to treat chemistry as a green light, then yes, you may be more vulnerable to cheating.
Why?
Because marriage requires the ability to say:
“This feeling is real… but it is not a command.”

That is maturity. And not everyone has built it.
But now let me balance it, because this is where many people become too simplistic.
MEANWHILE...

Sexual history does NOT automatically mean the person will cheat
And this is very important because some people hear:
“Body count matters”
…and then jump to:
“Ah! Once she has a past, she can never be faithful.”
That’s nonsense.
Too simplistic.
Too online, and of course
Too Nairaland 😄

Because some very sexually active people genuinely change deeply.

And some sexually inexperienced or “innocent-looking” people still become terrible cheaters.

So the real issue is not merely:
“How much have they done?”
but
“Who have they become?”
That’s the deeper thing. A low sexual past does not automatically mean faithfulness. This is the part many men miss badly.
A person can be “novice” and still cheat later if they are: emotionally hungry, validation-starved, immature, entitled, resentful, easily influenced, thrill-seeking, conflict-avoidant, lacking self-control. So a low sexual history can lower certain risks… but it does not guarantee fidelity.
Why?
Because cheating is often not just about sex.
It is often about: ego, loneliness, fantasy, revenge, attention, resentment, boredom, emotional hunger, poor boundaries.
That’s why some people with “clean” histories still derail.
So What predicts cheating better than “body count” alone?
If you want to estimate whether someone is more likely to cheat, these are more useful questions than just:
“How many people have they slept with?”

1) How do they talk about boundaries? Do they think: “Nothing is wrong with harmless flirting”, “I can handle myself”, “It’s not cheating unless sex happens”, “My partner is insecure." That’s a red flag because cheating often starts long before physical action. It starts in permission structures.
2) How do they handle desire? Can they say:
“Yes, I’m attracted, but no.”
Or do they live by:
“If I feel it strongly enough, I should explore it.”
That difference is massive.
3) Do they have a history of secrecy? This one matters a lot. If someone is comfortable with hidden chats, backup lovers, coded communication, emotional double lives,
…that is a much stronger warning sign than “number of partners” alone.
4) Do they crave external validation? Some people are dangerously powered by being desired.If a person needs to constantly feel wanted, admired, chased, chosen,pursued,
…then marriage can feel “too normal” after a while and that person may become vulnerable to outside attention.
5) Have they actually repented / matured / changed? This is the big one. It's not: “They said they’ve changed.” but have they actually become different?
Signs of real change include: stronger boundaries, honesty, accountability, less appetite for chaos, less need for attention, more self-respect, more respect for covenant, less secretive behavior, more discipline. That is what matters not just “She said she’s not that person again.”
Words are cheap. Patterns are expensive.
To conclude,
Yes, a person with a long pattern of sexual looseness, multiple partners, and thrill-based intimacy may have a higher statistical and practical risk of cheating later in marriage but the reason is not mystical.
It is because they may have developed:
habits of novelty
weak restraint
normalized boundary crossing
high stimulation appetite
Comfort with secrecy
chemistry-driven decision making
That is what raises the risk.
But there’s a spiritual dimension too. From a spiritual and moral lens, repeated sensual disorder can do more than create habits.
It can also create:
desensitization, appetite disorder, attachment confusion, weakened conscience and what some would call bonding fragmentation.
Meaning: the person’s inner world becomes trained to separate body from covenant, pleasure from responsibility, and desire from discipline.
That’s not a small thing.

So yes:
there can be a moral-spiritual dulling effect if someone repeatedly lives in unrestrained sensuality.
That is very real.
But again — and this is important —
it is not irreversible.
Some people genuinely turn around.
But they must actually do the inner work. Marriage alone won’t do it for them. I rest my keyboard.

They way I dey State police ehh. With the way the country is, talking about lack of rule of law and accountability. State police in the hands of an illiterate and rash governor is a tool of oppression. Ordinary state backed vigilantes groups abuse their powers, talkless a state police.

dederocs:
State police.
Give automatic weapons to state vigilantes
Give automatic weapons to forest guards.

And the cars are electric too?

MMG0077777:
Those are electric bike

Africans, no wonder una no get respect for oyibo eyes. Ordinary paved road is what a nation is celebrating in this age As far back as 312 BC the Romans already have paved road. Politicians go use a fraction of una commonwealth to execute a project and una go de praise am like what I don't know.

Putindbutt:
Another knife 🔪 inside the hearts of Bitter people.

This is so senseless! How can we call Nigeria a nation, when people are murdered on daily basis and the government is not doing anything about it? This state has a governor oO.

Oyibo get soft mind and human consideration pass us by far. But when it comes to the law, no mercy. That's why they have strong institutions and we on our part have failed institutions.

thrillionaire:
I dey always wonder how them dey do am wey begging nor dey enter their hearts. That thing wey dem wan do, dem must do am.

This one small na... you should be talking about Laplace transform and co . The truth is that most people in Nigerian universities and most other higher institutions doing 2-5 years programs, have no business been there. An 8 months diploma/certificate or trade program would have suffice for their needs.

Keziehenry:
Quadratic equation curve

See what Nigerians have been reduced. Suffice it to say that Nigeria is one big IDP camp

Of course, one small boy was shot dead in suspected gang violence, everywhere scatter. Emergency response crew, the police and even the mayor of London are all involved , trying to salvage the situation. But here in your country, hundreds are killed at a go and the government is quite about it. That's the difference...

PulaPower:
Eyah

UK has happened to him..

Of course, one small boy was shot dead, everywhere scatter. Emergency response crew, the police and even the mayor of London are all involved , trying to salvage the situation. But here in your country, hundreds are killed at a go and the government is quite about it. That's the difference...

360degreess:
Sane society crew.Nigerians always feel they are won't die prematurely when they are traveling abroad...No where is safe..RIP

Of course, one small boy was shot dead, everywhere scatter. But here in your country, hundreds are killed at a go and the government is quite about it. That's the difference...

Houseofglam7:
And that’s supposed to be a sane clime
May his soul rest in peace.

I was about to say that too. Nigerians , despite the hardship lack financial intelligence. They can be easily scammed...

kullozone:
It's true, she didn't force anyone.
Those who contributed should be ashamed of themselves... They're a big part of the problem in Nigeria because they lack basic reasoning.

Nigeria is the way it is because weak institutions.

LegacyB:
And you guys find it very easy to blame politicians. Nigeria is the way it is because of the people……..

Now I get it...I am yet to see a woman wey no like abroad. For us men, ancestral land matters, it get why. Nothing fetish, by the way...just that your purpose is most times tied to your land of birth.

spiceadole:
For me, home is far from Nigeria.
I am not Bro.. I'm a lady.

I understand bro. It just that I have spent a long time in Nigeria to call some other place home. But our kids, they deserve better.

spiceadole:
Having tasted Nigeria and UK, no amount of money can make me live in Nigeria again.

My children deserve better

My dear, I studied about quality and quality management. And I live in the west. Anyone, anywhere, can produce high quality goods, if they abide to certain quality standard and regulations. I have no doubt that China can produce high quality goods , if asked and made to abide to certain quality standards. Anywhere in the world, including the west, cheap and inferior Chinese goods abound. But you cannot find an American product that you can call inferior to products from China. Moreover, these days China serves as the factory of the world... You design your product, give it to them to produce cheaply utilizing the abundance of cheap labor and energy there. What they will churn out depends on how much you are willing to pay! In other words, quality isn't cheap.

Humphrey1111:
Western products are not superior quality. They're simply over priced and over inflated. Don't argue if you've never lived in the west and China. Go to China amd see the quality of products in China - what the Chinese use in China. They have very strict standards in China. The most basic house hold items to high techs are very high standards. You'll be awed. Go to a place like Germany or UK, you can find similar standards produced locally but they'll cost 100 times more. Most common citizens will resort to mass produced alternatives from China. Chinese people don't use mass produced

Shake my head at you. You are the one that reads without understanding. I suggest you copy what I wrote, plug it into chatgpt and ask it to break it down for you. Only in a failed states do you see the military doing the jobs of the police, in the cities, for several years. Soldiers have no business tutoring people on what to wear and all that. It doesn't matter their religious leanings and reasons. It's not their business. Abuse is abuse!

KingOfAmebo:
Aboki, that incident did not happen in the North, buy data to watch the video again...

Just because someone is a soldier doesn't mean they are not parents to their kids at home, do you think soldiers are robots or aliens from another planet? why am I even stressing myself replying someone that lacks comprehension? read my response with sense next time before replying me...

That's why politicians keep taking Nigerians for a ride. Just look at the comments of a supposedly educated person. Are soldiers moral police, like Hisbah ? Is it their job to monitor people's outfits and so on?

KingOfAmebo:
Firstly, I am sure most of you commenting did not watch the video or see anything bad for a lady to wear condom boxers in broad daylight.

Hypocrites, if it was a man that wore condom boxers outside in broad daylight you all will shouting "he is on drugs" "him don mad" but you find pleasure in a lady wearing same thing in broad daylight...PDFs.

Secondly, I don't understand why you are all attacking the soldier who is doing his job as a parent to instill sense in a girl that wasn't properly brought up at home, this is according to AFRICAN STANDARDS. If Gen Zs don't understand this African Standard it is our responsibility to instill it in them whichever way we'll see fit.

The military man is first a human being just like all of us and he is also a parent just like most of us... don't forget to reason along that line before typing rubbish.

Na you go penalize him severely?

Chucks13:
He will be penalised severely for it cus it's not Army duty to harassed anyone over choice of dress.

Una definition of wotowoto is strange and senseless, to say it mildly. A whole country has been pulverized, supreme leader and other leaders killed, you are celebrating the destruction of a single American jet as victory. God abeg oO! God forbid anything that will join me with people of warped mentality.

Hemanwel:
Omor...Iran jur dey give America serious wotowoto!

Wahala nor dey finish o, my brother!

Is Nigerian life easier? I have tasted both, and I know the one to chose at any given time. Aside community living , I see no other advantage we have in Nigeria over those in Canada/UK. Although personally, if money dey, na Nigeria I go chose any day. But this one una de kill una self with reckless abandon, I wonder...

LegacyB:
Abroad life is not easy oooooo.

I don't know what you are talking about, afterall even catapult and stone can hit a target and kill if you fired a enough of it randomly.

Emeskhalifa:
Is that why cheap Iranian drones keep destroying America's expensive overrated gadgets??

I guess misinformation is to be blamed. If I read correctly, the ban is for safety reasons due to the ongoing war with Iran. The time Israel closed churches and mosques, they also limited access to the wailing Wall. But then, there could be ulterior motives in all these bans. Christians are the most persecuted innocent people's group on earth. Every religion is scared of the transformative power of the gospel (Jesus Christ), hence the persecution.

Botragelad:
Look how hypocritical the world is. When the Israeli government did the exact same thing, banning Jews, Christians, and Muslims from gathering at the holy site, God1000 the propagandist and his crew immediately screamed that Israel is a racist Jewish state banning Christians from worship.

I wonder what lies he'll spout now. Other Christians blindly backed him without thinking.
Too bad for the babies who fall for Islamic and liberal propaganda on here.