₦airaland Forum

I knew it will be Solomon buchi,I have not seen a manginas in my entire life with so much disgust and hate for men.
This men spend his time online stirring up gender wars and always looking for ways to talk of men.
There is no attack he hasn't talked about launching on men.

With prevailing issues like wife confiscating a late man property from his wife and tormenting widows,female genital mutilation his concern is a harmless surname.

This people will leave core issues to argue over things like packing plates during marriage
It seems their worth is attached to how many arguments they win online.

He even tagged it misogyny-what has never being a biggie to women or harmed them in any way.

Surname is taken by choice,but if a lady isn't hurt or belittled there is no need stirring up argument and gender war

Martinez39s:
You just gave yourself away. He didn't ask your gender, and he never asserted you are a female. It is now clear that you are a female.

na!don't conclude! The number of manginas nowadays are more than females. Hope you are aware males are no making up to half of feminists?men now see their fellow men as filth...he is likely a male

Descortes:
if you had an atom of sense you'd have realized OPs problem is a general one not just towards ladies.. did you miss the part where he said he doesn't care about family members or friends even if they die?
you just picked out the misogynistic part because that's what you want to hear.
Smarten up bruv

what is misogynistic about dumping women after consexual sex?did he break any law?

BusterG:
It a disorder you have bro.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people.

Just like Judas, some people are destined to be destroyed by their own self sooner or later. You are one of such.

Don’t stress yourself looking for advice.

It’s your destiny.

oga why the hate? Did OP haunt you?leave him jare...
The world is liberal, everyone is having their choices. No man owes a woman commitment after sex the same way no woman owes a man sex after his spending.

The world is now lawless,norms that were to put everyone in check so they dont hurt others or hurt themselves are now being fought as oppressive... So let everyone enjoy their freedom. If a lady is free to have sex,then men should be free to have sex without commitment, we owe no one anything.

If you tell the girls he chopped and dumped to close their legs you are a sexist/misogynist. So please leave us alone to enjoy modernity abeg....

pansophist:
When you hear buzzwords such as "a real man", "man up", "be a man", "to be a man is not a day job", etc, but not hearing the female version, it only goes to prove that the male has to become, and the female has to just be. It is what it is.

Lol..you want to accuse you of setting oppressive shackles on them?
They have accused of all the woes they face,dont add buzzwords such as be a real woman to it so they dont attack us more.
Many have blamed masculinity as the cause of boko haram and other insurgency... Please just wash your hands off their matter and don't expect a thing from them before they kill us

LinLinGentle:
I wasn't a devil incarnate back in Naija abeg. I was just a normal young married professional who is not a perfect human being. She is not here to tell her own side of the story but there is a high probability that she has hurt me more overall if we were counting. Someone asked about my happiness earlier, but the truth is that I have never been happy since I married this lady. I have always slept with one eye open since day 1, cos I have never seen any hint of her love, loyalty or respect. It was merely a marriage of convenience and strategic planning. The only thing that have kept me going through the years and caused sentiments that led to bringing her abroad despite her toxic nature back in naija is my children, a decision I am now paying for dearly!

I am strongly looking into taking the red pill if I can successfully navigate this divorce/separation with minimal disruption to my life. I am one of the few guys I know who have never really felt that ''TRUE LOVE'' people talk about. Everyone I have ever dated including the one I married have always turned out to be using me as a part of their hustle.

ignore the dolts blaming you.

As a rule,note;
a woman is never wrong in any feud with a man
When a woman complains of her man,it must be true . if you question what she did to warrant the man actions,you are a misogynistic/pick mesh a
When a man complains of his woman,it is attributed to past oppression.

Have this ideology that a man is always the oppressor and woman the victim. That is how the world works


Save yourself the stress of explaining

emmaodet:
It is really saddening that our so called beautiful angels, african queens with african cultures are really not what we think they are.
Also, i noticed there is this Deep seated hatred for men by women but they quietly and silently mask it by been submissive and respectful when in nigeria but abroad you will see a full blow lion ready to pounce on you at any minute.
Oooohhhh nooooooooo
This is not what i envisage in our dear women, how did we get to this stage? Which devil is inspiring our women aginst us? They have become Rebellious.

lol...not really hatred per say.They are deep seated:
1)envy and resentment towards men because they believe we enjoy privileges.
2)disappointment in men because we no longer value and treasure woman like before. We dont move mountains for ladies like before. Mist guys now are fuckboys

Mariangeles:
One question; Errrrrrrrrrmmmmmm...what is a pick mesha?
They keep using the term...is it like the new IT word?
I could google it but I don't want to

is a derogatory term for a woman who loves men validation and would be a doormat to men

Sadly unscrupulous female nairalanders(example CHoccolaTE, eyeness) use it to belittle ladies that shares an opinion that doesn't seem pro-woman.

Pick mesh a is the female version of "simp" OE "blue pill"

crackland:
Really, this is your defense?
You're even helping me prove my point.

So because single women are called names, trying to prove to yourselves and others that you're happy and content in being single/unmarried, is the confident response... lol

My dear, that's not how confidence works.

Most women are simply emotionally fickle and things get to y'all more easily than it gets to men, you can take that as a chauvinist opinion but it's a fact - the faux expression of confidence is just an attempt to mask something..
The Genevieve that is even on the list, I can't recall an interview or report where she is celebrating her singlehood or lauding it - that's confidence. Perhaps you've seen where she did, in that case let me know and I'll promptly change my opinion about her.


Now, unmarried men also get their share of taunting and discrimination, but men take it like Kings.
When some companies are organising dinners/luncheons, you only see the married employees present, it just happens not because a rule was stated. Sometimes during normal social interactions, married friends/colleagues will tease the unmarried ones and it all turns to laughs in the end. There are family meetings that an unmarried man is unqualified to attend or even if he does, his opinion is not really registered.

In all of this, most of these men still carry themselves like bosses with no care in the world. They will even tease back at the married ones and tell them they are the ones in prison and everything will turn into one big laugh-fest.
But let a group of women gather and tease their unmarried friend/colleague, na dat day the friendship go end. The unmarried one will go home to think of her life and why she is even still friends with such evil women - in fact, they should be avoided going forward.

It's also like that woman who has no real close friends, then she goes on the internet to announce how she is now practicing self-love and it has made her very aware of the fakeness of the females around her - na so...

you are right with the faux confidence..

Non buoyant men and single men are comfy with themselves and don't sing it out or convince people to accept them,they raise their heads high up and live normally. But ladies unmarried must convince the world they are happy,nothing pleasures ladies more like acceptance and validation.

The movements like saggy boobs movements,thefreeboobsmovement, black is beautiful, fat girls rock,stretchmark is babe et al are created by women from a place if low self esteem. It comes from a "I want you to accept us like this" ideology.

The tags "strong woman"," independent woman "is a way of saying a woman is normally not independent or strong. They portray themselves as weak,they see something wrong in being women if they dont add the tag strong and independent. Why hate your womanhood and always compare yourself to men?are men standards worthy if your emulation?
They want to enjoy as much as a man not even as much as they wish,they use men as a yard stick to measure their level freedom

Most ladies suffer from low self esteem...they dont want to improve their confidence but rather subtly sing the victim song to garner validation for their lives ,when you don't give them such validation and approval they will put themselves on the hold and blame you of oppressing them instead of living out their dreams.

Zabiboy:
[color=SLATEGREY]
Nigerians sef....
Guy (Arthur2021) i expected you to have stop replying msg's since...
Hardly is there a thread on NL where male nd female discuss without broke-shaming or slut-shaming rants come in..
Chances of someone else embracing your views on a faceless forum is low...
No need to push it...
Anyways....GL
[/color]

you are right.

It just baffles me that once you are a male that dont agree with women the next thing is you are broke.
No one knows where I reside,what I do for a living or my net worth and in an argument I am automatically broke.
On this same forum people have sent me PMs asking for school fees money,CS surgery money,house rent completion money etc and one of them called me broke earlier on oh...lol

fieryy:
You're the one who've been derailing the thread and I really mean no offence, but you do seem quite dumb, which is why I ignored your posts. Are you telling me someone calling you a misogynist both offline or online (like it is in this case) is stopping you from adding certain attributes to your list?

I mean, I usually ignore those threads because it's full of tantrums, but I'm sure none of them

1) sold out their opinions/advices as facts
2) even have the ability to stop you from dating whoever you want because of certain attributes.

The fact that you find it difficult to grasp these two things and would rather twist words according to your limited understanding says a lot about you.

I'm starting to seriously doubt this is about buka, I think you're hurt because you you happen to be broke? I might be wrong anyway. What this even has to do with me is still very unclear.

You've said goodbye once, yet went ahead and still quoted me twice, lmaoooooo

Well goodbye

I am broke?lol

And magpiemonishaa will accuse me of insulting you...

Bye Felicia

fieryy:
Damn it, those threads must have really hurt your feelings.

Oya, send me a pm, let me dash you 10€

lol..I should offer to send you a $100 instead...

Don't derail the discussion. You know its wrong to troll and bully others for their choices

fieryy:
And you read that post, quoted this and not this

Besides, I see some guys list down what they want in a woman and what they don't. What's stopping them from adding 'broke women' to the list? As a matter of fact, most do not even want to marry women who earn more than they do!

What exactly is stopping you from adding those attributes to your list? Or rather who can even stop you or who is already stopping you from adding those to your list? And how does your post contradict from what I said

what is stopping us is you all calling us misogynistic for it. It is sexy.lassie and dande 55 that troll us redpillers,insult their siblings and moms,stalk them,bring up fake pictures of them to defame them.

cococandy:
Because it doesn’t happen. I mean I’m not everywhere on Nairaland so maybe in some obscure section where I don’t frequent, it happens. So I can’t swear it basically.

But some posters are trying to categorize anti-misogyny posts as anti-marriage posts. Two separate things. Unless there’s an underlying message that misogyny is needed for a marriage to be a good and successful one.

I didn't say specifically that women bully others for marriage on this forum


I am not equating anti-misogyny with anti-marriage. I said there are cases where ladies bully others for their choices even when its not pro misogynistic.
I have screenshots.

In fact some tagged others pick mesh a for seeing nothing wrong in dating broke men

MagpieMonishaa:
How do you know I don't?

OK ...sorry for my assumption.

We are just learning everyday. Keep speaking your truth,there are thousands if readers that learn from it

MagpieMonishaa:
I don't speak for 'woke women', I speak for myself. I can't even stand this terminology 'woke'. Puts me off.

To your question:

Me opening a thread like this and telling other ladies to live like the ladies I gave examples of. Simple.

Correction:
Unsolicited advice.

so why don't you accuse ladies that open threads like "ladies,dont date broke men" or "dont keep a man baby if he doesn't marry you" an unsolicited advise?

CAPSLOCKED:
MEN ALSO HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE AND DECIDE WHATEVER CHARACTERISTICS THEY WANT IN WOMEN. THEY CAN TURN DOWN WHOEVER THEY WANT WITHOUT HAVING TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WANT YOUR OWN RIGHTS TO DO ANYTHING, BUT THEN TRY TO DENY MEN THEIR RIGHTS OF WANTING ONLY LIGHT SKINNED WOMEN, VIRGINS OR WORKINGCLASS WOMEN.

OTHER WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHTS TO WANT BROKE MEN, AND ADVOCATE MARRIAGES TOO.

MODERN DAY FEMINISTS WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONES ABLE TO CHOOSE? WE WILL NOT ALLOW THAT .

remember how they dragged ubunja for starting men should marry ladies between 18-25? They called him a paedophile.
Remember how they accuse men of body shaming when they say they want ladies without stretch marks of sagging breasts?
Remember how they drag redpillers for emphasizing marriage to virgins only..
Alor of people want to have choices but if a man have his choice he is misogynistic

MagpieMonishaa:
Arthur2021

There is a difference between being traditional and telling others to be traditional too.

OK...if woke women can advise other women to be woke,why can't traditional women have the right to advise other women to be traditional?

What do you define as telling? Giving advise based on experience and ones own school of thought or forcing and belittling others to do heed to your ways

On this forum many monikers have been dragged for being traditional (I mean talking of their own lives and how it works for them) not just by advising others...

cococandy:
Except what you’re saying is not entirely true. Some of it is and to respond to you factually without using blanket phrases such as “made bare for all to see” which really means nothing, I’d have to go sifting through posts for you.



women on this forum belittle others for being married? Are you confusing this for posts that push against women who encourage misogyny and practices that benefit men to the detriment of women?

go through my post again I didn't say belittle for being married but for being traditional.. What is misogyny?if you are mistaken hatred,contempt or prejudice( for example beating,cheating,marital rape) against women for a lady willfully deciding to submit to her husband or taking traditional roles (like being a housewife) which she loves then we can't agree.

Some ladies are angry with just the notion that a lady sees her man as the head,even if she willfully chooses to do so and the couple are living harmoniously . it doesn't have to be when he is beating her black and blue before they belittle her

Check out eye.ness post on pickmesha,or various derogatory terms used to describe women that are being traditional.

If you find one post that says women who choose to get married are this or that (insert something negative) I’ll be the first to the tell the poster to desist.
However it is not the same as when a post that encourages misogyny is pushed against. (No reference to anyone in particular.)

I agree there are not those who call others out for marrying that I know. But they are ladies that have belittled and accused other ladies for their choices or opinions that aren't even misogynistic on this forum(you are more popular on food section and family son you may not notice it as it is prominent in romance section) . one popular feminist said women that aren't feminists are lesbians. I don't want to derail this thread by calling names.

You may be taking on the burden of a post addressed to the general clan of those who hate on feminists. Don’t bear it alone.

what was I supposed to think when the post of yours was knitted closely to mine?
Why does hating feminists that belittle other women for their choice(especially radical feminists that want to eschew masculinity and femininity) have to do with hating feminism or having prejudice against women?

MagpieMonishaa:
Right!

Not everyone has the strength or confidence though. And doing it does not stop anyone for speaking against discriminating norms.

you were banned? Why?

I am not against anyone speaking up against norms. There will always be dissatisfaction in life with a practise or norm,that is why we have movements coming up everyday...its not wrong to fight for a cause(within the confines of the law)

My point is that some people depend on society approval before acting.

Why die in a marriage you are a punching bag instead of moving out because of norm?work on your self confidence!

fieryy:
The thing is your example was stupid and you're not half as important as you think. Otherwise, why the f would you think anybody cares about the choices you are for and against?

I was not against any choice or for a choice. If you notice I have maintained a neutral stand on both threads. I am against accusing someone of "not living and letting live" only on selected subjects.

Let me break in down to you

you accuse buka of infringing on women choice because of her advice,do you also accuse women who advice ladies on the type of men to marry as infringing on people choice (I will not cite an example of this if not you will bring a topic out of the example).

The bolded is the summary of all my posts to you,if you can't comprehend it then ...

fieryy:
And how exactly was your example one of hypocrisy?! If anything, it only highlighted the fact that you still don't or choose not to understand the phrase 'Live and let others live'!
How is some ladies saying 'I don't want to date broke men' yours or my business?!

In fact, the use of 'I' suggests the OPINION being very subjective, an advice is also subjective and it's left to me to either accept, or criticize, or ignore, especially if I didn't ask you for any.

But advising people based on your personal opinions, selling them out as FACTS? Ridiculous and WRONG. Once it becomes an opinion sold out as facts, it's no longer a 'Live and let others live', it's you projecting your opinions on others.

If I remember correctly, I told her to start linking out her source. If she wants to advise me, I need her to underline her facts opinions with legit sources, statistics etc

let's agree to disagree,you are not half as smart as a donkey thus we can't continue this discussion.
If all you can get from my post and example is that I am against people's choice or advising people to date/marry poor men(even if that is solely not my business and I don't meddle in both men/women choice of partners) when I only cited an example then goodbye!

cococandy:
I don’t want to address the raging parts of your post. I believe we are aiming to keeping a level head on this topic. Devoid of rants.
So let me address the core of your total posts which is that this thread is anti-marriage.

What in your opinion makes it anti-marriage.
Where has it said women shouldn’t get married.

Fine here’s where I’m coming from, women often get ridiculed for not being married (However they came to be unmarried). They are made to feel like whatever else they have going on for them matters little unless they have a man and a ring to show for it. Which is why a thread like this is important to encourage women to have value in themselves whether married or not. Showing lady icons who went on to achieve good things they can be proud of means a woman can be valued member of the society whether she’s married or not.

That is not the same as saying that women should avoid marriage. Why are you redefining the topic?

Mind you if any other contributor on this thread says all women should avoid marriage, I disagree with them on that (Just in case you are curious about my stance).

Now why do you think the thread is about telling women not to marry. Because it shows women who did well without being married?

I agree with you on this ,how about my other points?

The actions of some radical feminists are made bare for all and sundry to witness. If someone calls feminists out for it why accuse them of mischaracterization and accuse them of prejudice towards women??
You erroneously debunked my stance of some feminists and woke women belittling traditional women or women that choose to marry(even on this forum many ladies call others pick mesha or seeking male validation when they express their opinion).

You went as far as accusing me of prejudice against women in your post to another moniker for pointing out not just some flaws of feminists but also those of traditional women that bully woke women for their choice(I didn't just blame feminists and woke women ,I also blamed traditional women that enforce marriage on all ladies).you singled out the portion were I talked about woke/feminists (I didn't even attack the movement but the radical feminists that go so far with it) but ignored when I called out traditional women for oppressing woke women and called it misinformation and opposition to the movement.
Let's be fair here.

emmaodet:
Gbam!!!!!
They are always blaming something for their misfortunes - society, men, patriarchy etc
If you want to stay single, stay single and don't disturb us. You can tell how society will look at you, that is the choice of society and don't shove your opinion down the throat of society.
If you want to be a yahooboy, cocaine pusher, armed robber, prostitutes, go ahead but don't insist on the society to accept your way of life or pamper you at the back for the decisions you make.

these women have the choice on when and who they want to marry,but we are called names for our perception towards some choices.. If you give freedom to women to make choices you should give humans the same freedom to personal beliefs band ideologies whether they like those ideologies or not.

It is just like wanting to walk to the mall and you are scared passerby's will not like you dress and then accuse them of oppressing you for not liking your dress.


Make no mistake, they are genuine cases of young ladies forced into marriage or subjected into harmful traditional practices. I support feminism for that.

But its not at all instance you talk if society.
If you want to stay single, fine don't blame people for how they perceive them

fieryy:
Oh please! Do not try to change the topic here. What does all these have to do with broke men? As far as I am even concerned, broke men are being dated and get married too on a daily basis.
At the end of the day, chances are high you'd marry someone from the same social circle as yours. What's a doctor going to do with a mechanic or a lawyer going to do with a house boy? This happens the other way round too. Men and women tend to marry someone from the same circle, so don't be ridiculous.

Besides, I see some guys list down what they want in a woman and what they don't. What's stopping them from adding 'broke women' to do list? As a matter of fact, most do not even want to marry women who earn more than they do!

Also, at the end of the day I have every right to choose and decide whatever characteristics I want in a man. I have the right to turn a man down however I deem fit without having to explain myself! So if some ladies don't want to date broke men, how exactly do you want to force them to?! Yes, it might be hypocritical, but how many broke ladies do not end up with broke men

Back to this


"Some went ahead to say the moniker doesn't deserve to have kids"

It had just been ONE PERSON! And she or he was criticized for going too far! Some really did overflog the issue (just like you're doing now by the way) and I agree some posts were very harsh. I expressed that in the other thread as well, but I was told to keep my pity to myself

No one is changing topic but citing an example of hypocrisy.
I used the broke or rich men as example,not that I decided to have a conversation on that. I am Pro-choice.
Get the point I am passing across don't bring a discussion from a mere example

You all are selective on advice's you tag "infringing on someone's right" and advises you applaud

Advising a lady to marry and a lady to date only rich guys are both advises,sadly you tag one the infringement and tag another hood advise.

sisisioge:
Actually, it's a taboo for thoroughbred African women to shun marriage. They would rather marry someone if only to get divorce the next minute to at least mark the register and have children. We are yet to be bold enough to outrightly shun it and get away with it, without the society having our hides.

But the truth is, a woman who has the options of making money through a fulfilling career, have children and get attention from her preferred seex ( straight or ga) at anytime will rather stay single. In that case, marriage will only complicate her life.

you people blame society always for not making your choices. If you continue to depend on society opinion of you that's your problem.

I know many unmarried ladies from nigeria in their 30s and 40s and no one bullies them for it.

People's opinions will always be there,waiting for their approval before making a choice is you ladies problem.

Since society did this or that, if you are waiting for society to embrace your choices then wait for eternity. Because in as much as you have the right to your choices they have the right to see things as they see

Biglittlelois:
.

If you have the right to quote who you want then I gave the right to also quote you...

cococandy:
Misinformation and changing of definitions is a standard tool of those who oppose feminism. Otherwise what would they really have to oppose? The idea that women and men should be treated with equal considerations? Nah. That would sound bad even to their own ears except for those of them who are actually honest about their prejudices against women.

The only way they can find something to oppose is to change definitions and lie about what they think you’re saying.

if you don't know anything about me or what I stand for or what I oppose STFU!
I didn't sayvanything about feminism is my post but feminists(if you don't know there are lots that have thwarted the original meaning of feminism).
Except we don't reside in the same USA,virgins, housewives are being mocked.

In my very eyes they have told a lady that was engaged to see marriage as an invitation to slavery ..
Albeit they don't say it authoratively,they say it in an advice-manner or convincing manner.

The same manner some dolts wanted to crucify bukatyne for.

I wonder how you ladies cope with hypocrisy, crucifying buka for her pro-marriage stance and praising the op for her subtly anti-marriage stance. The former is tagged infringing on women choices but when women open threads and tell their other ladies not to date poor men nobody calls it infringing on their choices.


PS:think whatever you want to think of anti-feminists. It is not today I realise that if you don't dance to delusions of some feminists then you are a misogynt to their eyes. An if you don't indulge in feminism as a woman you are tagged a pick mesh a...

There is always a name for someone who doesn't agree with the movement.

Ishilove:
It is not about motherhood but you so happen to mention that some of these women mothers? Abeg. This thread

I wonder how some ladies deal with hypocrisy...they almost lynched buka for a pro-marriage stance and called it infringing on their choices yet they celebrate this OP for his/her subtly anti-marriage stance

cococandy:
Except that the so called woke/feminist women have never said women should not marry.

Stay on the facts.

I checked your profile and saw USA. Except there are two different USA,and we reside in the two different USAs I will like to accept your claims as false

fieryy:
My friend, will you shut the f*ck up and eff your way out of my mentions?! Have we all forgotten how everything started?!

Nobody: ...

Literally nobody: .....

Nobody oooo: ...

Buka: I want to advise young ladies...

Perhaps you should have advised her to live and let others live.

But aren't you a hypocrite yourself? Otherwise, why am I even mentioned? To make matters worse, you even dragged an overflogged issue to another thread. Rubbish

so when ladies tells others not to date broke men do you consider it as infringing on the ladies choice? Do you think it is live and let live?I have never seen anyone attacked for an advise let this before. Its a personal beef..
Some went ahead to say the moniker doesn't deserve to have kids

RTSC:
Dumb girl.

Is there any pride in being a baby mama?

It's a shameful thing.

The lady she is mocking is already married in her husband's house and will conceive in time.

It's foolishness to mock somebody that is better than you and has followed the proper pattern just because the seed has not yet germinated.

It's a matter of time.

an archaic mindset to believe a lady in marriage is better than a single lady.

You conclude happily married? Lol! So her inlaws are not bugging her to conceive? The couple told you they are living happily? Lol


Get the morale of the story,the lady was not mocking her friend but advising against mocking single moms