₦airaland Forum

VIRGINS AND MASTURBATION

I get lots of questions on masturbation most especially from ladies -yes, ladies masturbate a lot, especially virgins. Guys also masturbate. There is no debate on that. I'm not here to argue about who masturbates most, I need to deal with a serious issue.

Sexual urge for virgins is strong. What makes it stronger is the novelty, newness, the mystery and the hear says about sex.

Masturbation is handling your genitals consistently to achieve orgasm. Ladies may stroke their clitoris while guys rub, massage or caress their penis. I decided to give explicit explanation because some ask me what masturbation is. Some ladies especiallly non-virgins use candles, banana, small bottles, sticks, dildos or whatever represents a penis and do solo sex (having sex by yourself).

From teenage upward, you will have a strong desire for sex. It's a sure sign you are normal and capable of having and enjoying sex in marriage. In your 20s it will be stronger and intense! You may wake up feeling Hot for no single reason in the world or go hot on spotting a curvy lady! You may start noticing shapes and curves and you have to shake your head several times to keep the image off. You may get worked up on watching a romantic movie and discharge something. You check up and discover you are wet. All these are normal, you haven't committed any sin.

So what then do you do when you get hot and Hot? Have sex? I know you know my answer and some singles will never be caught dead sleeping around, so what do they do? They masturbate! They give themselves release and pleasure through solo sex while claiming virginity at theseame time. Masturbation is completely wrong and not the way out. Let me explain:

1. Masturabation is not done in isolation. It is done with the image of someone in mind. It can be a lover, an EX, a celebrity, a married person, a crush, someone you like but incapable of having. You imagine having sex with them while masturbating. That is MENTAL FORNICATION

2. For ladies, while inserting all manner of objects, you may mistakenly deflower yourself and also introduce infection into your genitals and womb. It will be very difficult to convince your future partner that you never had sex with man except objects during your solo sex.

3. You kill your ability to enjoy sex in future. Millions of women don't enjoy sex in marriage which leads to sexual frustration, adultery, lesbianism and feminism. If you are used to getting orgasm by yourself, you won't be able to get it from your husband. If you are used to objects in your private part, you won't have feelings for your husband's penis. You will always think of something harder, bigger, longer, larger and completely unrealistic! Women who complain their husbands' penis are too small didn't marry as virgins. They must have been promiscous as singles.

4. You will not have a good sex life as a man. You will experience pre-mature ejaculation and your wife won't enjoy you leading to acute sexual frustration in marriage. You need self control to fully enjoy sex and give your wife maximum sexual pleasure. A woman enjoys sex when the man can go on for at least 7 minutes before ejaculating. Because you are used to instant release from masturbation, you may not be able to go more than a minute before exploding leaving your wife completely unsatisfied and frustrated. She may close up, become frigid and stop having sex altogether which may lead to you having an affair, she having an affair or both of you having an affair. Self control before marriage helps you enjoy sex to the maximum. You are able to delay ejaculation, go on for a long time and have excellent orgasm while giving your wife pleasure too. That is why total virginity pays!

5. If you do not suffer premature ejaculation, you may have serious problem with delayed/ retarded ejaculation. A situation where you get erection for several hours without ejaculation or orgasm. What is the benefit of sex without orgasm? Rough masturbation with your hands kills your ability to feel/enjoy sex with your wife. It is hell for a woman to be under a man who thrusts in for hours unable to ejaculate. How will the woman get pregnant? It's the reason some women are seemingly "barren" and can't talk to anybody out of embarrassment. Thrusting hard for so long leaves the woman sore, frustrated and hating sex altogether. You have so much to lose sexually when you masturbate. Abstaining from this degrading act helps you feel relaxed, confident, have normal sexual intercourse and enjoy the pleasures that comes with sex IN MARRIAGE!

6. You start having sex in the dream with a known or unknown person (demonic entities other wise known as spiritual spouse).

7. You feel drained, dirty, empty, useless and powerless after each act.

8. You start getting unsatisfied and wants the real thing. You fantasize more about sex and start longing for the real act.

9. You get a warped view of the opposite sex. You see them as sexual objects and start having sex with anything in skirt or trousers -you become promiscous.

10. You get damaged, hurt and broken.

11. You are at risk of hell fire!

These and more are the consequences of masturbation. They damage you and shatter you to pieces! What then should you do with your sexual urge? How do you handle the constant hunger for sex?

1. Avoid all dirty pictures, pornography videos, pictures and hot, romantic movies -they are powerful sexual triggers!

2. Avoid friends who say dirty,lewd and obscene things. Stop all sexy banters with friends and say only things that are pure, holy, needful and helpful.

3. Get busy with your life, education and career, there is more to life than sex.

4. Transmute your sexual energy: Channel your sexual energy into something great. I had a strong sex drive in the institution. I simply channelled them into my education making me the best student in my department from the second year. I was very excited and energetic. I burnt the energy on my studies. I also started my ministry and was very committed as my fellowship bible study co-ordinator. If you don't burn that energy, you will have sex.

5. Study the word a lot especially Psalm 119. When you are filled with the word, you have no space for the devil and his demons in your heart.

6. Pray and speak in tongues always. It sanctifies you.

7. Make friends with godly people.

8. Avoid pornography and romantic movies.

9. Get busy in kingdom service.

10. Give your life to Jesus if you are not born again. He will surely help you out.

Masturbation is wrong, bad, demonic, destructive and sinful. Avoid it and end it with speed if you are deeply involved in it. Jesus can help you. Call on him! God bless you.
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

MARRIED AND IN FRIENDSHIP WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX

Married people should avoid intimate friendship with the opposite sex! You read that right, close friendship with the opposite sex should be completely ruled out. Why? It's trickish. Things sometimes get out of hand, emotions explode and stories that touch the heart go viral. Heart shocking stories of celebrities, popular men of God, General Overseers, teachers, bosses, colleagues at work and social media friends often litter the places.

There is a thin line between platonic relationship and emotional entanglement. You don't plan affair, it just happens when rules are ignored, boundaries are over stepped and people start doing things they shouldn't be doing to their opposite sex friends for whatever reason under heaven!

How did the friendship start in the first place? Admiration, respect, preference and likeness. You like something about them, you prefer them, you think about them then make them your friend. You talk to each other, you emphasize the likes, something clicks in your heart and bonds you, you enjoy talking to them because they like you and give you attention.

You plan to meet them one on one, you loosen your guide. You don't mind if they hold your hands or hug you, you begin to hold hands and hug frequently, then regularly then you progressed, he strokes your hair because he likes it, you smiled, no big deal because you are "just" friends. He likes your face, then lips and he gave you a peck. His aim was really the lips but he decided to take things slow, next time it will be the lips and then, you are rolling in sheets totally engulfed in the fire of adultery!

You can't handle close friendship with the opposite sex! I don't know why we are so proud and stubborn in this part of the world, we hate correction. Anytime I speak against close opposite sex friendship in marriage, some naive people keep telling me they can handle it, no big deal until they lose their senses and their spouse boot them out of the marriage.

I take a month leave from the social media every year to upgrade my knowledge, do more research, think, read and pray. My recent findings have affirmed my conviction. Friendship with the opposite sex in marriage is dangerous. It bonds you to the other person as you talk and your marriage sooner or later begins to suffer. You give more attention to your friend to the detriment of your spouse and emotional affair begins on that note.

I don't have any male friend I meet one on one. Facebook has bastardized friendship. Everyone you meet on facebook is a friend. You have no choice than call then your friend since Zuckerberge says so. But not everyone can be your friend. That they send you friend request does not mean they are your friend. So be careful before jumping at people.

I'm very sensitive to words. I think about every phrase, line, clause and sentence. I'm quick to spot when something is wrong and quickly step back. Some men often get angry or mad when they discover I've been able to dissect what they are thinking and react angrily, whatever, I do not want any affectionate display from anyone except my husband.

A married person should never tell the opposite sex they miss them. One man told me he missed me. He is a highly respectable man of God with committed, dedicated followers and from tne depth of my heart, I respect him. It is no doubt he is anointed and his messages are filled with power! Nevertheless, his telling me he missed me online striked a point, it was emotional, deep, personal and a kind of affectionate. It struck a cord! That statement came from an attraction. I replied as politely as I could, tried my best to be plain and candid and moved back from that person. He is not an online close friend but he is a ball of emotional fire! I do not want to get burnt.

I can't count so many expressions some friends think are safe and accepted in friendship but are not. I can't count the number of "friends" who got attracted, carried away and slowly changed the tone of friendship.

It's okay to talk to the opposite sex. It's okay to have casual friends but when it is getting deep, intimate and you are using the word "my friend" all the time, something is wrong. It's time to move back and gain your sanity. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017

SAVE YOURSELF FROM HEART BREAK!

Your heart is too precious to be broken by anybody. Protect it all cost. The Holy Book says, "Guard your heart with all diligence...." so that one child of Satan will not make a mess of your life. Be smart in your relationships, don't allow anybody damage you!

Hear God and hear Him well before you propose to anybody and accept proposal. If you use your little brain to pick a partner and lock God out of your decision, you will hurt very badly. Getting God involved at the beginning is one smart choice you will make. you save yourself from headache, pain and heartbreak.

Let your partner know your past, weaknesses, strengths, expectations, vision, dreams and goals as early as possible so as to know whetner you flow together and they accept you for who you are; if not, pack your bags and quit the relationship before your emotions get tangled. The longer you stay in a relationship, the harder it is to quit!

Use your head not your emotions when you are entering into relationships. I let my man know every damn thing he needed to know about me from the onset. Actually, my plan was to scare him off. I wanted to know how genuine he was. I painted very tough stories of myself, showed him my ugly side and promised him I could be tough to handle. He didn't back down! He stood his ground and maintained I was the one he wanted. When I saw his genuiness and determination, I soften down and became real with him. I told him to make up his mind whether he was gonna stay or quit the relationship. I wanted to give him 100% commitment and didn't want someone to break my heart. My heart is too precious to be broken!

Find out as early as possible if the relationship is real or they are play boys or play girls. Listen, if a man loves you, nothing scares him. Your weaknesses don't shake him, they ratber thrill him. You don't need to pretend for him to accept you, he accepts you perfectly the way you are. If he doesn't love you, he will still go no matter what you do. Same for men, if she loves you, she loves you, you don't need to pretend to be who you are not. If she doesn't, she doesn't and no matter what you do to impress her she will still break your heart.

If you discover the relationship is going no where to happen, end it before your partner does. Ending a relationship hurts but someone walking out on you hurts more and shatters your self esteem to pieces. Protect yourself esteem. Be the one to get out first! Call your partner, explain the reason the relationship can't continue and end it on that note. Don't form the habit of entering and breaking relationships though. It is best to wait for God, hear Him, pick your partner once and for all and settle down to a glorious married life.

Once the relationship has ended, it has ended. Block them on the social media, don't pick their calls and no going back. If you keep talking, you may re-connect and go back to the unhealthy relationship which is bound to collapse again leaving you in a state of emotional roller coaster.
Don't allow anyone toy with your emotion, guard your heart from pain!

Avoid pre-marital sex. Ending a relationship which has involved pre-marital sex is emotionally shattering! A part of you has gone into that person and ending it means tearing you apart! It hurts like maaad! Save your precious heart from heart break by avoiding pre-marital sex at all cost. You don't have anything to lose if the relationship ends.

All in all, avoid wrong relationships. Learn to wait on God. Hear him and listen to him well before you propose or accept proposal. That way, you will save yourself from heart break and avoid the pain of entering and breaking relationships over and over again.

Save yourself from pain! Your heart is too precious to be damaged by anybody. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.

YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND!

The following kind of people should not be your friend if you want to keep your sanity, have a blissful relationship with your spouse, become great in life and fulfil destiny.

1. GOSSIPS: You will live in bitterness, hatred and low self esteem. Gossips are jobless, hopless loafers who have no single vision for their lives except putting their noses in other peoples business and dragging them down. Gossips are not loyal to anybody. When they run out of tales, they start sharing your personal issues to others. They are bitter, jealous, backstabbers!

2. ABUSERS: These people are hurting bad and will hurt anyone trying to help them. Unless you are called and anointed to help them solve their peoblems, just plain avoid them. They will shake you with their hurting words, run you down, reduce you to nothing and hurt you bad!

3. HATERS: They are jealous people who have battered, broken, shattered, damaged, ruined and completely grounded self esteem! They are jealous of you for no reason, no, they are jealous of you for every reason! They secretly hate you and wonders why your life is working and theirs are not!

It's not easy to spot a jealous friend otherwise known as a friendly enemy, or frenemy! They appear like your greatest supporters and will be at your beck and call but deep down they resent you and hate you with passion!

How do you know them? They easily mock your achievements, they criticize almost everything you do. They give you advice that often lands you in trouble and they are the ones that bail you out and when your friendship with them hit the rocks, you will be amazed at how many lies they have told against you!

Spot jealousy from afar and avoid the person as much as possible. Be nice, be polite, be kind, be generous but don't make them your friend, it's as simple as that!

4. WASTERS: They are experts at wasting resources and will help you waste yours. They lack savings and are spend thrifts. They dont buy "cheap" things, they prefer the expensives so they can show off to their friends. They don't know how to save and invest. They are financial disasters going some where to happen!

5. LIARS: These people will put your life in a tail spin. They are masters at concorting stories that are not true! They are dupes, cheats, double daters, adulterers, thieves, fornicators, cultists, murderes and killers! You can't trust a liar! They can do and undo! They can ruin your reputation and keep smiling at you. They know how to drag your name in the mud and escape neat! They are two faced people! They appear gentle and nice but deep down they are a raging inferno! Avoid them like plague!

6. SEX ADDICTS: They have insatiable, unholy, abnormal appetite for sex! Forget about your wedding ring, if you are not careful around these people, they will finish you! It's not even written on their forehead. They look so holy, pure and chaste. Seeing them from afar, you will think you have seen the Lord Jesus Christ but get closer, they can't wait to pounce on you! Avoid this immoral people! I don't know what some singles see in a married woman/ man, are you sick? If they can't talk to you without touching you, boot them out of your life!

7. THE CARNAL CHRISTIAN: These ones are more dangerous than sinners. They go to church with their Bible, blast few tongues every now and then but their life style is nothing to write home about. They are excellent gossips, glorified born again liars, 419ers, dupes, adulterers, fornicators, cheats, thieves, cultists and satanists. Any Christian who does not practice the Bible should not be your friend, they are dangerous!

8. THE MISOGYNISTS: These are women haters! They see women as devils, Jezebels, evil, possessed, selfish and not worth showing love and affection. Men like these don't have a good marriage or stable realtionships. If you want to have a fulfilling, blissful reltionship with any woman, avoid these people, they will poison your precious mind against women!

9. THE FEMINISTS: They are proud, pompous, men haters! Most of them are educated, successful and famous. Thy see men as idiots who should be at their beck and call. They are the kind of women who treat their husbands as servants and hate submission. They are very jealous of their husbands' leadership and usurps it. They see men as dogs, wolves, demons and toys to be used never to be respected. If you hang around women like these you can't have a good marriage. Avoid them!

10. UNREPENTANT DIVORCEES: They will not acknowledge the mistakes they made in the failed marriage. They put all the blame on their partner and are bitter, critical, wicked and revengeful, avoid them.

Some reltionships are disasters in the making, they are not meant for you. Not everyone can be your friend. If their lifestyle and core values are not compatible with yours, you will do well to say bye bye to them and rescue your destiny. "HE that walketh with the wise shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be DESTROYED."

I'm aware that some people still plagiarise my (Seun Oladele's) posts. Do not copy and paste, simply share. Bloggers should take permission before posting on their blogs. I do not ask anyone to pay for my articles. They are FREE. Just acknowledge the author, that's all. For those who want to share in Whatsapp groups, you are free. Simply add, copyright, Seun Oladele, 2017. God bless you.

Keep spreading the gospel...
© Seun Oladele, 2017.

HAUNTED!!!

The past haunts! There are some mistakes you make in your past that unless the Lord have mercy on you, wash away your sins with His blood and give you the grace to move on will haunt you forever.

I usually pity naive, ignorant youths who are selling their future but think they are having fun. Fun? You say fun? May the Lord open your eyes before it is too late.

D & C is not fun baby! Killing those unborn children in the name of abortion is not fun!!! Even if you end up marrying the nicest husband in the whole world, that past will always haunt you.

Till forever, you will remember the day, time, venue and the name of the man who deflowered you. You can't run away from that memory. You will remember with pain and regret on your wedding night and every time discussions comes up on the subject of virginity. You may smile it off or shrug but your heart will bleed for throwing what belongs to your husband to the dogs. You will remember when you give birth to your daughter, when she ask you questions about your past and when you look at the ceiling and have no credible answer to give her.

As a man, you will remember those innocent girls you raped, deflowered, impregnated and deny responsibility. You will remember the ones you did abortions for and those who died from severe complications.

You will remember when you give birth to a daughter and at a tender age, men starts molesting her. You will weep when she gets imregnated at the age of 10 and wander where you have gone wrong.

Do not sow what you do not want to reap. Our actions are not without consequences. Whatever you sow today will come back to you tomorrow.

Be careful what you sow. Be careful how you live your life. You won't stay in your 20s and 30s forever. You won't be a teenager forever. What testimony do you want to give your children? For how long do you want to live in guilt, pain and shame? Say NO to immorality and turn a new leaf.

Ask God for help and seek His grace. Tell him to wash you from your sins and give you a fresh start. Tell Him to heal your memory and help you forget the past. Do not go back to your vomits anymore. May the Lord help you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.

HAUNTED!!!

The past haunts! There are some mistakes you make in your past that unless the Lord have mercy on you, wash away your sins with His blood and give you the grace to move on will haunt you forever.

I usually pity naive, ignorant youths who are selling their future but think they are having fun. Fun? You say fun? May the Lord open your eyes before it is too late.

D & C is not fun baby! Killing those unborn children in the name of abortion is not fun!!! Even if you end up marrying the nicest husband in the whole world, that past will always haunt you.

Till forever, you will remember the day, time, venue and the name of the man who deflowered you. You can't run away from that memory. You will remember with pain and regret on your wedding night and every time discussions comes up on the subject of virginity. You may smile it off or shrug but your heart will bleed for throwing what belongs to your husband to the dogs. You will remember when you give birth to your daughter, when she ask you questions about your past and when you look at the ceiling and have no credible answer to give her.

As a man, you will remember those innocent girls you raped, deflowered, impregnated and deny responsibility. You will remember the ones you did abortions for and those who died from severe complications.

You will remember when you give birth to a daughter and at a tender age, men starts molesting her. You will weep when she gets imregnated at the age of 10 and wander where you have gone wrong.

Do not sow what you do not want to reap. Our actions are not without consequences. Whatever you sow today will come back to you tomorrow.

Be careful what you sow. Be careful how you live your life. You won't stay in your 20s and 30s forever. You won't be a teenager forever. What testimony do you want to give your children? For how long do you want to live in guilt, pain and shame? Say NO to immorality and turn a new leaf.

Ask God for help and seek His grace. Tell him to wash you from your sins and give you a fresh start. Tell Him to heal your memory and help you forget the past. Do not go back to your vomits anymore. May the Lord help you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.

MAN OF GOD, WHO IS MY FUTURE PARTNER?

For lazy Christians who like to depend on men of God to determine who their future partner is, be careful lest you mischoose. 90% of marriages endorsed by Prophets, Prophetesses, Pastors, Bishops, Reverends, etc don't work. You read that right, 90%!

The simple reason is because the spiritual laziness that will not make these singles hear God is thesame laziness that will make them not work on their marriage.

They believe once it is God's will spoken or signed by a prophet, all they need to do is a big wedding then go to sleep. God will do the loving, the submission, the sex, the taking care of the family. He will also do the cooking, laundry and go to the market to buy the vegetable for soup!

Closing your eyes and seeing a vision is not enough for any man of God to conclude someone is your life partner. I can't count the number of marriages shattered by this folly! Before approving a person for you, he should pray, WATCH that person closely, conduct series of counsel, make enquiries about that person, check the word to see if his lifestyle agrees with the word and compatible with yours. Ask you questions to know if you are personally convinced. You are the one to hear God, his job is to confirm not tell you what to do.

Some men of God today don't have time. They don't pray, they just do abracadabra and say some thing off their head. If you are in the habit of living your life based on what someone says without listening to God yourself, you are in soup! The Bible says, "Test ALL spirits." God asks you to use your God given common sense to check whether your prophet is speaking from God or the devil!

Sometimes, genuine men of God make mistakes. They may hear from their flesh or the devil and think they are hearing from God!

I once took my partner's name to a Prophet who asked for my age and his age, based on the difference he said it is not God's will. No further explanation. He was busy, he had more important people to attend to.

Another prophet asked for my state of of origin and his own, he said also asked me to bring his photograph. He looked at it and said it was God's will. No more no less.

A Pastor wanted to seperate us based on genotype and probably suggest someone else, I had wisen up before then, I stuck to my guns!

Thank God I quickly retraced my steps. God had spoken all along and deep down I knew he is the one but I wanted to be doubly sure thereby checking up on Prophets. I slammed the door against false prophecies, sat down with God, sharpened my relationship with Him, armed myself with knowledge on understanding God and His will and settled down with my partner. It's been bliss ever since.

If you must pick the right partner you must have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and have a constant fellowship with the Holy Spirit. "For as many as are led by the spirit of God are the sons of God..." If you are not a son/ daughter, he can't lead you, it's as simple as that. Be a son today and start hearing from Him then you will not pick the wrong person.God bless...
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

SIGNS THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS SICK!

If you experience any or all of these in your relationship, it's time to call it quits and do something sensible with your life. You are in a sick relationship and it will eventually damage you!

1. THEY MAKE JEST OF YOU A LOT: That is not a joke, it is mental abuse. If your partner always make fun of your looks, intellect, spirituality, background, past and achievements, that is a clean clear sign they so not accept you the way you are, neither do they respect you -END IT!

2. THEY ARE ASHAME OF YOU IN PUBLIC: They will not introduce you to friends and families, act cold in public but very warm to you in private, they are ashame of you, END IT!

3. SHE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU: The woman whose dowry you want to pay, put under your roof and take care of you should see you as a leader and show you a measure of respect. If she always insult you, disgrace you, belittle you and makes you feel like a non-entity both in private and in public, you've picked a Margaret Thatcher! Release her and let her go in peace. END IT!

4. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU: No affection, no respect, no fondness (I didnt say handling), no care, attention, no compassion, kindness and mercy, you are not for him, END IT!

5. THEY ARE NOT FAITHFUL: They still communicate with tneir ex, has a very close, intimate relationship with another opposite sex "friend", double dates, has multiple partners labelled "counsellees", "mentees", "students", "sisters in the Lord"/ "brothers in Christ", "close relative" and the relationship is questionable. You are dealing with a potential adulterer. You are too precious to share your husband/ wife with another person for the rest of your married life. END the relationship!

6. THEIR PARENTS DO NOT ACCEPT YOU: Either pray to God to change their hearts or you end it in peace. You cannot run away from your in-laws. Live a million miles away from them, they will always be a part of your relationship. If they hate you now, they will hate you forever and make your marriage to their son/daughter a living hell. END IT NOW!

7. THEY ALWAYS ASK FOR SEX. You are nothing but a sexual object to them. The only good thing they see in you is your sexual organ. You are more than that. END the sick relationship!

8. THEY ALWAYS COMPARE YOU WITH THEIR EX. You are not their ex! They should go and marry their ex if tney are missing them so much. End the damn relationship!

9. THEY DON'T TAKE GOD AND HIS WORD SERIOUS. Your marriage will not work, end it!

10. THEY ARE LAZY, STINGY, VISIONLESS AND GOALESS: They are financial disaster going some where happen! You are too precious to spend the rest of your life in poverty. End the sick relationship!

90% of the people I counsel daily are in sick relationships and they hope patching it up will magically solve all their problems. If your courtship is giving you headache, your marriage will give you hell.

End it before you tie the knot at the altar, then it is too late. May the Lord grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, March, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

I MUST MARRY A VIRGIN!

Some singles feel because they have kept themselves from pre-marital sex then God MUST give them a virgin like themselves or else...

See, God is not your servant whom you command to do your wish. Do you know who you are talking to, God? Boy, you don't know God! Lack of space and time will not permit me to explain God to you. He said, "Before I formed you, I KNEW you." I knew every little bit about your life, what you are to do and the best spouse to help you achieve greatness in life. The person may and may not be a virgin.

Listen, it is NOT COMPULSORY to marry a virgin. Some singles think because they have kept themselves for their future partner, their spouse too should keep themselves. That is a selfish thinking.

Firstly, if you have abstained from pre-marital sex, you do no one any favour including your future spouse! You are doing your own self a great deal of favour. You save yourself from unwanted pregnancy, STDs, HIV, shame, regret, soul tie, spiritual spouse and other uncountable problems associated with pre-marital sex. You should thank God for helping you and stay humble as a result.

Not everyone threw their virginity away. Some were raped, some were cajoled. Incest is the leading sexual abuse most children and teenagers battle with. Some were deceived. Some had no good parent to guide them. We should be compassionate towards people. We shouldn't think because we have what others lack then it is deliberately their fault to lose it. Some ladies/guys are careless and threw their virginity away but not all of them. After ministeration in a church recently, one girl asked how to forgive her father who raped her. Her father! Her own very father! Her mother was long dead. Who would help her? Who would she run to?

When God wants to give you a spouse, he looks at the person's heart not virginity status. The Bible says, "Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart." He looks for the person who is humble, godly, virtous and holy enough to walk with you. You can be a virgin and not be holy, humble and virtous. He looks for a woman who will totally adore, celebrate, cherish, honour and respect you or a man who will genuinely love you from the depth of his heart. If you are hell bent on marrying a virgin, you may pick one who is not for you and treats you like trash because she has what the whole world lacks, her virginity. Likewise a man who is pompous, proud, jugdmental, condescending and very critical because he had never had sex in his life.

I know a particular brother who was very proud because he was a virgin. He looked down on sisters with ugly pasts and gossipped, criticized and condemned them. All those sisters are happily married today. That brother is over 40 and still single. Character matters!

Sometimes when two virgins marry, they don't appreciate each other much. There is no big deal about each other. "You are a virgin, I am a virgin, so what? Don't use your virginity as a threat!" but when one has made a mistake and is fortunate to marry one who has kept himself/herself, there is a high level of respect for them because their partners have what they lack. They find it easy to celebrate them, honour them, cherish them, adore them, praise them and value them -that is if they are God's will for them, if not, they will be despised. If you are a person whose major need is admiration, respect, honour and adoration in marriage, God may give you a virtous non-virgin who will meet your deep needs in marriage. This is where God's will comes in. He knows your deepest needs and knows the best person to meet them.

Virginity is good, we should keep it at all cost. Virgins are great, if they have character. Thank God for them, appreciate them, celebrate them and marry them if they are God's will for you but if not...
THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT...cheers!
© Seun Oladele, March 5, 2017. 10:41 pm.
www.askseunoladele..com

SO SHE SNATCHED YOUR HUSBAND

Look, your husband is not a baby. No one can "snatch" him without his permission.

Some women see their husband as a little weakling who has no brain of his own and can't think at all. They see him as an idiot who is too weak to resist any female attention so they swing into action to "protect" him by searching his phone, probing him, eyeing every female that hangs around him and caging him. No, they can't cage him 24/7. They pay cheap gossips at his office to monitor his every movement and eventually develop hypertension! Look, you will just kill yourself!

No one can snatch your husband like a handbag at Oshodi market. No one can steal your husband unless he is beaten to a state of comma and carried off. No woman can make him leave you unless he wants to. All these crap I hear from women that "My husband is innocent. He sat on his own when the lady came to meet him, seduced him, use juju on him and made him marry her" gets me worked up.

He slept with her because he WANTED to, period! She was able to seduce him because he WELCOMED her. If he said NO, she would stop dead in her track. He married her because he was sick and tired of your boring marriage and wanted something new and exciting, it's as simple as that.

You can't keep a man hell bent on straying. If he didn't do it with Ngozi, he will definitely run away with Bintu. A cheat will cheat whether you police him or not.

What you need to do is work on your marriage. Make your self so indispensable in your husband's life that no woman can snatch him. When a man is thoroughly satisfied at home, who is the witch that will carry him off?

When you totally adore him, creatively seduce him, generously feed him, lavishly make love to him, excessively forgive him, graciously accept his weaknesses, totally befriend him, completely trust him and ceaselessly pray for him, which woman from the pit of hell wants to carry your husband off?

Women will do well to focus on real things and stop chasing shadows. A successful marriage is not built on wishful thinking but HARDWORK. You can't fold your arms and let things slide only to wake up when another woman is chasing your husband.

Give your husband your best and he will not allow any woman to snatch him from you.

God bless.
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

BOUNDARIES!

Sexual immorality is on the increase all over the world. Adultery is fast becoming the norm and men of God are also joining the club. Married women are not left out, many are having secret lovers and emotional affairs are becoming the order of the day.

The rate at which immorality is increasing is alarming! It is spreading fast into every nook and cranny and children are also being initiated into the club. It's no news that 4, 5 years old kids now have sex with each other. Staying sexually pure these days is becoming a Herculean task.

One of the reasons people fall flat into illicit sex is over confidence. The stupid belief that you can be free around the opposite sex and nothing would happen!

A lot will happen! One of the ways you can stay sexually pure whether married or single these end time is to set strict boundaries. If you are too careless around the opposite sex, you will fall flat on your face! That is the truth. The ealier you believe this and work on it, the better. You can't be careless around the opposite sex and hope to stay sexually pure, set boundaries!

There are some people who can't be your friends, raise the standard. Any body can call you names, that's their headache, you have your destiny to protect. As a rule, I don't make friends with liars, gossips and jealous women. They make life so complicated. If you believe in illicit sex, we can't be friends, period!

Monitor your chats. Don't allow anybody send you flirty messages, no matter how innocent it sounds, warn them and if they refuse to stop, block them!

Limit the hugs and touches. I don't hug men as a rule. If I must hug, my husband must be around and you should hug both of us. If your hugging anointing is only for women, I want none of it.

Don't allow anybody call you pet names (except your close family members and same sex friends), it doesn't make any sense. Pet names turn the opposite on, if you don't know that, know it right now.

Be sensitive to attractions. Don't be naive around the opposte sex, know when a man/ woman is sexually attracted to you and move back from that person. If they focus too much on your physique and body, they are sexually attracted to you, move back.

Know when you are sexually attracted to someone and move back. It's perfectly normal to have chemistry for someone. Marrying the greatest man on earth or the most beautiful, virtous woman in the universe will not automatically stop you from being attracted to someone else. Know when the thought of another man/ woman get you excited and move back.

Don't jump at new relationships. Give it time. Study the person, know what they stand for, see if your core values are compatible, if not, move back!

Leadership attracts all kinds of people. If you are a leader or you are gifted, talented or intelligent, the opposite sex will show more interest in you, be careful whom you allow to get close to you.

Accepts gifts with care. Men don't joke with their time and money. If he spends so much time and money on you especially when you do not ask, he may one day ask for sex. Stop begging men for money. Work with your two hands and raise your standard. Men will respect and honour you for it.

Work on your marriage. Fix the problem as soon as possible or else you get attracted to someone who gives you what you lack in your marriage, adultery is the result.

Be prayerful, be watchful. Jesus says "watch and pray that ye may not fall into temptation..."

Don't stay with the opposite sex in a dark or lonely room.

Don't counsel the opposite sex on a bed in a lonely room.

Avoid provocative dresses and pictures. Let your spouse advice you on what is okay for you.
Mind the pictures you post on the social media, if it is getting unecessary opposite sex attention, delete it.

Don't visit the opposite sex alone, it doesn't make sense.

These and more are the things you need to do to stay sexually pure in this 21st century.

People may laugh at you, it doesn't matter. They may call you a neurotic, psychotic, fanatic, over sensitive or paranoid, don't give a damn! Your destiny is too precious to waste on the altar of sin. Avoid friends who make fun of holiness and make friends with people who appreciate purity and holiness. You will not fall in Jesus name. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHAT A MAN CALLS REAL BEAUTY....

One of the things that damages a woman's self esteem is how she looks. Every woman wants to be beautiful and attractive to a man. No woman likes to be seen as ugly. Women enjoy being admired by men and being considered hot, sexually desirable, wanted, needed, valued and esteemed -even the most spiritual of a woman! Being chased by a man is every woman's dream, we love to get a man's attention. But what is beauty to a man?

My husband has taught me several times, that real beauty to a man goes beyond the body shape. You can have the curviest body on earth, if you are not his real bone and flesh, I mean his real wife made from heaven, he will eventually find you unattractive.

He also said beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is no single definition of beauty. What a man considers beautiful might be seen by another man as ugly. For instance, some men are crazy about dark skinned women while some go gaga for a very light complexioned woman, it's personal preference.

Above all, he said character is real beauty. I'm a woman who spot beauty in everything. One woman couldn't hide her feelings and blurted, "you always see something to admire about everybody...", I simply smiled. Whenever I set my eyes on anybody, I notice something beautiful or different about them first and compliment on it. It may be the teeth, hair, eyes, nose, lips, height, complexion or dress sense, no one is ugly to me! Everyone is handsome or beautiful. That apart, there are exceptionally beautiful women and I can't keep my mouth shut when I see them. My husband is my best friend, he is the closest I talk to so when I see one, I'd call his attention and exclaim! "Ade mi, look at that woman, isn't she so hot?" My husband may not look up (he is a busy man, either thinking, reading or medidating, he doesn't have a wandering or idle mind). I would call his attention again and he may say,"hmmm? Who?" That may get me angry, "who? That woman. Don't you see she's so curvy, has a baby face and a skin that makes one think of an Egyptian sex goddess!" He would still look around, tell me he didn't see any beautiful woman and continue his work and If I'm lucky he sees the person, he may nod dryly and and face his business. One day, I got so perplexed and blurted, "honey, don't you notice a beautiful woman?" I want him to share my excitement in appreciating real beauty in people. He held my shoulders, looked into my eyes and said, "I notice you. You are the most beautiful woman in my world, that's all." How does that made me feel? Don't worry, that is for another day. Eventually, my husband sat me down and taught me what real beauty is to a man.

He said, "Seun, beauty to a man is beyond the shape of a woman or how everybody else sees her. Beauty to a man is character. A woman who is godly, virtous, gives a man peace, is submissive, respectful and chaste is really beautiful. You can't speak for a man when it comes to recognizing a beautiful woman. Only a man knows what is beautiful to him. It's okay to look good and take good care of your body. Women should endeavour to look good but real beauty goes beyond that. I pity ladies who spend so much on the outside but inside they are so empty. I also pity men who pick women because they have large hips, breasts or whatever not realizing what they really need for a long time in marriage is the woman's character. Your body is ephemeral, it changes with time. The breast will sag, the hips may fall apart but the character will stay forever. Any woman who lack character won't have a lasting marriage. If you don't give a man peace of mind, he will eventually find you unattractive. That is why you need to marry God's will for your life. When a man picks his own bone and flesh, he will find it easy to love her, cherish her, admire her in and out and everything about her will give him pleasure. I do not struggle to love you, it comes naturally out of my belly. I do not try to admire you, everthing about you blows me away. You are an amazing woman with the most beautiful body ever! You are perfectly carved for me and I'm so crazy about you. You are the only one I notice Seun, I'm sorry, I do not know if any other woman is beautiful or ugly, I don't see them."

What more shall I say ladies? As we apply the foundations, the make up and all those stuff that makes us attractive, let us also work on our character. That is real beauty to a man. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, March, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HONEYMOON?

When some people talk about honeymoon, I wonder what they are talking about.

Honeymoon is for the bride and groom who wants to get physically intimate with each other for the first time. It is called honeymoon because, love-making with the one you love, for the first time leaves chemistry super high, expectations great and seeing your lover's full naked body for the FIRST TIME, gives you an adrenaline high you have never experienced before.

This leaves you very excited. Honeymoon is a period of sexual exploration and discovery...it's something, I can't just describe. It's rapturous, exciting and superb. Seeing your spouse' naked body alone leaves you excited yet shy and elated.

Lots of singles have destroyed their chances of honeymoon in courtship. They've had all the sex they could ever get as if their partners would run away and wonder why the honeymoon was tasteless. Honeymoon? The honey has long been finished before they got to the moon!

There is really nothing NEW to look forward to. The beauty of sexual discovery is destroyed forever. The trust of your spouse that you can WAIT for them is long gone. The joy of being known intimately by your husband/wife has been killed. While in courtship you felt guilty for engaging in pre-marital sex along with the fear of losing your fiance/fiancee. On the wedding night you still felt guilty for not waiting to be discovered for the first time. Then what's the use? Why the rush?

Oh, that joy of being seen on your wedding night for the first time, just the way you are after the bride price has been paid, your parents have been honoured, your spouse has pledged before God and man to love, cherish and honour you forever...

What joy it is to be uncovered and stand before him or her shameless, beautiful, pure and chaste? That is honeymoon....

Do not destroy the chance of ever experiencing yours...there is no need to steal what rightfully belong to you in courtship, wait for your wedding night.
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WRONG REASONS PEOPLE HAVE SEX!

1. SHE DIDN'T DRESS WELL SO I HAD TO SLEEP WITH HER. That's nonsense! Will you sleep with a badly dressed mad woman with a double barrel gun? You had sex with her because you lack self control, period!

2. I HAD SEX WITH HIM BECAUSE WE HAD CHEMISTRY! And when the Biology happens, you start reading Economics to take care of the baby, you are simply not serious!

3. HE SPONSORS MY EDUCATION, I NEED TO APPRECIATE HIM. Prostitutes also appreciate men for paying for their meals and bills. What's the difference between you both?

4. SHE ASKED ME FOR SEX. What happened to your mouth? Can't you open it and say a clean clear no? Nonsense!

5 HE ALWAYS ASK FOR SEX. So what? Men will always ask you for sex, stop making a big deal out of it. Simply say NO and walk out on the son of Satan!

6. HE IS MY FIANCE. So what? Has he married you? What if he dumps you tomorrow? you become a used and dumped! How many guys do you want to have sex with in your life time?

7. WE SLEEP TOGETHER ON THESAME BED BECAUSE SHE IS MY FIANCEE. You are a thief! You are stealing sex from someone whose bride price you have not paid. Will you be happy if some man you do not know "service" your daughter in darkness without showing you honour as a father? No bride price, no wedding, nothing, except a portruding tummy, few months after she met you. You throw the innocent father into perpetual shame forever! You deserve to be flogged!

8. I AM NOT A VIRGIN. And so? That is not an excuse to jump from bed to bed like a frog!

9. MY FIANCE'S FAMILY WANTS ME TO GET PREGNANT BEFORE WE GET MARRIED so you disobeyed God to please a family who have no single respect for God and His word because you want to wear a wedding ring! Welcome, the devil himself is already your father-in-law!

10. IF I DON'T GIVE HIM SEX, HE WILL MARRY SOMEONE ELSE. So you are nothing but a intimacy gadget or sexual machine to him? No value whatsoever for your personality, talent, dream and vision. Come on girl, where is your brain? Use it and get out of that sick relationship!

These and more are the wrong reasons people have sex today and get battered and broken when the relationship everntually hit the rocks. Relationships built on pre-marital sex don't last. Even if you marry each other, one or both of you is prone to committing adultery thereby jeopardizing the peace and love in your marriage.

Avoiding pre-marital sex is the smart choice you will make. It helps you build the self control you need to succeed in life and marriage. Say NO to pre-marital sex and start your life on the foundation of purity, godliness and virtue. The benefits far outweigh the pains of pre-marital sex. You will be glad you waited. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, Feb. 28, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

YOU DON'T NEED A WIFE!

When I see some young men tell all and sundry they need a wife, I wonder what they are talking about. Marriage is not for loafers! It is not for a dummy upstairs! Some men are dead in their thinking. They are not sharp, smart, proactive and vibrant! They are dull, reactive, passive, lazy, visionless, dreamless and goaless. These men don't need wives. They need Jesus!

A great husband is alive! Intellectually, socially, mentally, financially and spiritually. He is active on all levels and passionate about life. He has a great vision for his life and he is doing all in his power to get there. He is proactive, hard working, prayerful, energetic, smart, intelligent and brilliant at what he does, he is not lazying around hoping some woman would come to rescue him. He is in charge and command of life! These men command a woman's respect any day any time.

No woman wants to marry a man who doesn't know where he is going or how to get there.
One thing pre-marital sex does for you as a man is, it saps your strength, especially spiritual and mental strength! Most guys who sleep around are dull! I don't know why in the name of God, you must check into the skirts of innocent girls who looks up to you! I don't understand why you will be involved in pre-marital sex and still wants to be great. I am not talking about fake greatness hyped on TV. I am talking about genuine greatness recognized by God that gives you peace and rest!

Prepare to be a husband. A great husband is a leader. You should know what you want out of life. That is when your wife can be a helper to you. Be smart and intelligent. When your wife asks you questions confusing her, you should be able to give her wise answers. Be spiritually alive and active. Have a personal altar which leads to family altar where you act as the priest for your family. Your wife needs you to interceed and pray for her when she is down and weak. Be a leader. She needs to look upto you for direction. Be financially vibrant. Work, save, give and invest. Your wife needs good food, accomodation and clothing to feel complete as a woman. No woman is happy with a stingy man who does not know his financial responsibility as a man.

Respect in marriage is not automatic. You've gotta earn it. Only boys fight their wives for respect. If you have to remind your wife to respect you, it clearly shows you do not deserve it in the first place. You don't demand for respect in marriage you earn it.

Be responsible; be a role model, a leader, a godly man worth emulating and your wife will respect you for it.

Marriage is not a joke. It is not for babies. Prepare well before you get married so you do not spend the rest of your life in disappointment, frustration, shame, pain and regret. God bless you. Cheers!
©Seun Oladele, February 25, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

DON'T BE CONFUSED

I'm aware that some people are are getting confused over my post: "GOOD MEN ARE POOR!", please, don't be.

A young banker sent me a message about picking the right partner. She would have started with a man who had no job or nothing but the men showing interest in her look accomplished. I told her to go for the working class man if that is God's will for her. As a working class lady, it's better she goes for a working class man who sees her as a friend, a pal and someone he can rob minds with.

When I say you should not go for a ready-made man, what I mean is, don't go for a man who doesn't NEED you. He has achieved everything he wants in life and there is no room for your contribution whatsoever except sex, kids and the kitchen! That type of marriage won't work! A man who puts you only in the house and gives you all the money you need is not a husband, he is just a property accumulator! You mean absolute nothing to him! Poverty is terrible! Some ladies are so poverty stricken, they think all they need in marriage is money. I wish it is so but years of neglect and sorrow of many women married to such men has forced me to pen this down. You need love woman! A time comes in your life you get sick and tired of the big house, cars, jewelries, properties, etc and long for deep love, intimacy, affection and respect from your man.

When I say good men are poor, I do not mean they must wallow in poverty. I do not mean, they have no job and are dependent on the lady for survival. A man can earn 200k per month, has two cars, lives in a 5 bedroom flat and still be struggling! I'm talking about men who have vision far bigger than them and they need the imput of their wives to accomplish them. For instance, if his dream is to own a business conglomerate or the chancellor of several universities across the country, earning 200k and riding a car is a far cry from where he should be. That man is still "poor" and struggling. He needs your encouragement, support, prayers, motivation and strong belief to reach that dream.

I am not propagating poverty and asking ladies to say yes to only the no-job brothers. If that is God's will for you, go right ahead with it. I am rather encouraging you to allow God lead you and be ready to add to your man's life. That is how to earn his love, respect, admiration and honour in marriage. Remember father Abraham, Barack Obama, Bishop Oyedepo, Pastor Adeboye, Dr. Ben Carson, Fela Durotoye, Pastor Sam Adeyemi, Pastor Taiwo Odukoya, Bishop Felix-Adejumo, Bill Gates, etc. These men were nothing when there wives met them. The women accepted them just the way they were. Agreed with God to marry them, believed in them, stood by them and encouraged them till they became international super stars.
Remember, behind every great man is a virtous woman, be that woman and the world will bow at your feet. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.aseunoladele..com

DON'T BE CONFUSED

I'm aware that some people are are getting confused over my post: "GOOD MEN ARE POOR!", please, don't be.

A young banker sent me a message about picking the right partner. She would have started with a man who had no job or nothing but the men showing interest in her look accomplished. I told her to go for the working class man if that is God's will for her. As a working class lady, it's better she goes for a working class man who sees her as a friend, a pal and someone he can rob minds with.

When I say you should not go for a ready-made man, what I mean is, don't go for a man who doesn't NEED you. He has achieved everything he wants in life and there is no room for your contribution whatsoever except sex, kids and the kitchen! That type of marriage won't work! A man who puts you only in the house and gives you all the money you need is not a husband, he is just a property accumulator! You mean absolute nothing to him! Poverty is terrible! Some ladies are so poverty stricken, they think all they need in marriage is money. I wish it is so but years of neglect and sorrow of many women married to such men has forced me to pen this down. You need love woman! A time comes in your life you get sick and tired of the big house, cars, jewelries, properties, etc and long for deep love, intimacy, affection and respect from your man.

When I say good men are poor, I do not mean they must wallow in poverty. I do not mean, they have no job and are dependent on the lady for survival. A man can earn 200k per month, has two cars, lives in a 5 bedroom flat and still be struggling! I'm talking about men who have vision far bigger than them and they need the imput of their wives to accomplish them. For instance, if his dream is to own a business conglomerate or the chancellor of several universities across the country, earning 200k and riding a car is a far cry from where he should be. That man is still "poor" and struggling. He needs your encouragement, support, prayers, motivation and strong belief to reach that dream.

I am not propagating poverty and asking ladies to say yes to only the no-job brothers. If that is God's will for you, go right ahead with it. I am rather encouraging you to allow God lead you and be ready to add to your man's life. That is how to earn his love, respect, admiration and honour in marriage. Remember father Abraham, Barack Obama, Bishop Oyedepo, Pastor Adeboye, Dr. Ben Carson, Fela Durotoye, Pastor Sam Adeyemi, Pastor Taiwo Odukoya, Bishop Felix-Adejumo, Bill Gates, etc. These men were nothing when there wives met them. The women accepted them just the way they were. Agreed with God to marry them, believed in them, stood by them and encouraged them till they became international super stars.
Remember, behind every great man is a virtous woman, be that woman and the world will bow at your feet. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

GOOD MEN ARE POOR!

Some ladies today do not want to work on any marriage. They want a ready made man who will take away all their poverty in a day. They secretly pray for a man working in an oil company or is a successful business man, earn in at least six figures, has a company car or his own personal posh car and lives in a duplex at minimum, at worst, 3 bedroom flat.

Now listen young lady, the good man you want is not in that category! What? Yes! That man who will give you the love, affection and respect you truly deserve doesn't usually come with a posh car! He comes with his vision, struggling to find his feet and hoping with your help, he will make something great out of his life.

Here are the reasons you should think twice before marrying a ready-made man.That man has made it without you. You are nothing but a piece of property to him. He knows your greed. He knows you don't really love him, if you do, you wouldn't be attracted to his success first. Men are not daft. They know when a lady wants them for their money and nothing else. He has listened carefully to your conversation. He knows you have nothing sensible to add to his life except collect his money and show off. He knows your respect is fake, it is due to the money he gives you and when the money is gone so will your respect. So he keeps working hard to feed your greed, never having time for you and the children. He shouts you down when you talk because you do not have solution to his problems, you rather create more. He believes you are a dummy upstairs. He only married you because you are beautiful, wants you to be his permanent sexual partner and raise his children, no more. Your emotional needs and problems are not his concern. All you need is money and he has given you in abundance. Many women are weeping daily in such marriages! Their greed and lust for money has put them in a permanent dungeon of pain, regret and sorrow!

These women had opportunities to pick the right men for their lives but they were too proud, too selective, too pompous to pick a man they will start life with. Better marry a man who sees you as his mate than a piece of property! Marry someone who sees you as his friend. Marry someone who values your words and respects you becuse you add value to his life. Marry someone at your level. Don't look for someone beyond your reach. Marry a man who will listen to you, value you, respect you and let you contribute to his life.

A virtous woman is not indolent. She is not lazying around looking for who to rescue her. She is smart, sharp, intelligent, hardworking, generous and a great contributor to her man's success.

Don't be a liability. Be a blessing. Be a hardworker. Let God direct you to your man. Stand by him, work with him, encourage him, motivate him, pray for him and be a part of his success. When he becomes great and successful, he will give you all the honour, respect and love you deserve because he knows you were in his life to give and not just to take. Without you by his side, he wouldn't have become so wealthy and successful. He knows you are the reason behind his smile. You are his gold and he would never let you go. Behind every successful man, is a virtous woman and that virtous woman is you! God bless you. Cheers.
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHERE ARE TENDER HEARTED HUSBANDS?

They are scarce, they are surely scarce. The inner cry of every woman is to marry a man who will treat her with all the love, mercy and compassion she deserves.
Women need mercy. We need compassion. We need a daily dose of patience, understanding and a great deal of maturity from a man we chose to give all our heart, soul and body to.

Being a woman can sometimes be tough! The number one area we battle with is our emotions then our self esteem. No matter how beautiful, intelligent and powerful a woman is, she often feels inadequate. She needs you to constantly remind her that she is the most beautiful, intelligent, powerful woman in your world.

We sometimes don't know how to manage anger. Sometimes, we breakdown and weep while at times we open our mouths and let out all our frustrations on you. If your wife has been abused as a child, she may rain abuses on you. That is what she's got. It's not her fault, she was not properly trained as a child to express her displeasure without abusing, yelling and screaming! Inside she is crying for help, asking the father she never really had to come to her rescue! You are her father! Show her compassion. Hold her, hug her, soothe her, talk to her, counsel and advice her, she will forever respect, honour and cherish you! A godly man does not fight his wife. He does not pay tit for tat and tat for tit! He is rather merciful, gentle, loving and forgiving.

Where are godly husbands? Where are men like father Abraham?
Show your wife compassion! She is screaming because she wants attention. An attention starved wife will be irritable, easily angered, malicious and troublesome. She is going through inner turmoil and she needs to talk to you. She has no one else to unburden her heart to. Where are men? Where are godly husbands? Do they still exist?

Listen to your wife. Put your arms around her and tell her to share her burdens with you. When a wife has a listening husband, she won't be seeking unneccessary attention or go about gossipping. She would rather be virtous, godly, wise, contented and calm.

Where are godly men? Where are godly husbands? Where are men who love their wives like Christ loves the church? Where are tender hearted men? Where are men who assist their wives with chores? Where are the men who corrects in love? Do they still exist?
For more interesting posts visit www.askseunoladele..com, God bless.

WHEN BOYS AND GIRLS GET MARRIED

You know what happens when boys and girls get married? The boy can't handle responsibilities and the girl can't run the home.

The boy may be 35 and the girl may be 30. It doesn't matter, age is not what determines maturity.

The boy is super lazy, has no job and prefers to snore in front of the TV set 24/7. The girl doesn't know how to cook, hates house chores and prefers to gossip with neighbours all day.

The boy can't think without seeing papa first and the girl cries over very minor argument in the home.

The boy doesn't know how to pay bills and the girl knows nothing about raising a child. She prefers to wear a tiny singlet for her 3 months baby on a bone chilling harmattan morning!

The boy beats his wife over minor offences and the girl always run back to her momma each time there is a misunderstanding between her and her husband. They had to call a family meeting with the village head in attendance!

Marriage is not for boys and girls, you've heard that a million times. What makes you mature is not your age but acceptance of responsibility. If you can't make anything sane out of your life as a single person, you won't amount to anything after getting married.

Grow up before chasing ladies all over the street. Learn to be a man. Pay your bills, be committed to your job, learn how to treat women with dignity.

If you always run away from chores a single lady, you are not ready for marriage. How on earth can you be a typical Igbo woman and not know how to prepare simple Igbo soup? or you are a Yoruba woman and you don't know to cook "Efo Riro"? You hate washing plates, sweeping the floor and keeping your house clean and you wanna get married, to whom? A chimpazee?

I see too many boys and girls heading for the altar and I pity their future. Marriage is not a game. It is not a joke. It is not for boys and girls. Grow up first and make something sensible out of your life before rushing to the altar. You will be glad you did.
For more interesting posts visit www.askseunoladele..com, God bless.

Intimacy in marriage has little to do with sex, it has to do with opening your heart, mind and heart to your spouse. It is being completely naked in heart and mind to your darling wife or husband.

You don't stumble on intimacy in marriage. You start from friendship to courtship then to marriage. If you were never intimate in courtship, you can't be intimate in marriage. Courtship is so important. It is where you set the foundation for future together. If you get it wrong there, may the Lord have mercy on your marriage! "For if the foundation be destroyed..."

Real intimacy involves being yourself, sharing your mind, thought and heart without feeling judged, criticized, condemned or unaccepted. In a relationship where there is intimacy, you share your hopes, aspirations, doubts, fears, pain, mistakes, failures, successes, without feeling bad or inferior to your partner.

We all need someone to talk to! You need a man or woman who will accept you completely the way you are without making you feel like a fool, an idiot or inferior! You need some one who loves you completely and accepts you just the way you are thesame way you accept them. If you are not totally accepted, you won't be opened and honest with them and you won't build intimacy and if you are not intimate, your mareiage won't work! Notice, I've not mentioned sex so far!

Sex does not lead to intimacy, intimacy leads to sex! Some singles think the best way to be intimate with their partners to join sexual organs, no! No matter how often you have sex, if you can't share your heart and mind with your spouse, you will eventually hate the sex! Because it is your body that is close, your mind is a million miles away from your spouse! It is sharing your heart with a person who understands you, loves you and accepts you completely that makes you want to have sex in the first place. That is why you are easily turned on by your online opposite sex friends because the chats are deep, intimate and you feel so loved and understood. That is why relationship experts advise not to have sex till you marry because sex in courtship destroys intimacy!

Intimacy is built on communication. The moment you start having sex, communication gradually scales down to zero while you keep having sex like crazy! By the time you get married, you will discover that you know next to nothing about each other. Your sex life eventually dies a painful death! Divorce is higher and more common among couples who have had pre-marital sex.

I'm very intimate with my spouse. Infact, I'm "dangerously" intimate. We are so close, so very close, we are almost always together. Hubby can't do without me, I can't do without him. We are each other's best friends. There is absolutely nothing we can't tell each other. I've never had any discussion with any mortal I can't tell him. It didn't just start in marriage. It started from courtship. I was myself, he was himself! I found it very easy yo tell him every damn thing about myself and he would look at me as if he was in seeing an angel. I told him the good, the bad and the ugly. Infact, I started my relationship with him on my worst foot! I threw my weaknesses in his face and let him know I don't take shit from guys, he would just sit like Jesus, smile sweetly like angel Gabriel and laugh at all my boasts and rants!

He would tell me the positive things about myself and tell me I'm the best lady he has ever met. He said my honesty always waoh him and he would just look at me mesmerized! I had always adore him, I like that perfect gentle man. His weaknesses attracts my compassion and I always love to help him become better. When he walks I tell him "Honey, you are a king. Your carriage is so regal. You walk like the wealthiest man alive." He would say, "really?" and flashed that smile that has always warmed my heart...it's been 11 years I know him and we are deeper in love. We still share our joy, sorrow, pain, failure, success, weaknesses and strengths with each other. Whenever I disobey him, I would confess my sins before he finds out himself and from the depth of his heart forgives me. Same with him. He would say "Seun, I've offended you...".I would say "come on, talk to me." and no matter how hurt I am we would make up and life continues.

The bottom line is this: do not marry anybody who does not accept you completely, it is not God's will. I tell about 90% of my counsellees to end their relationships because what most them of them call love is disaster in the making. A man abuses, insults, beats, rapes you and flies into rage and unforgiveness when you are courting and you say he loves you! Your fiancee tells lies, sleeps around and she does not value you as a human being and you think she will change after wedding? May the Lord open your eyes before it is too late. Build your courtship on intimacy, not sex. God bless you!
For more interesting posts visit www.askseunoladele.blospot.com God bless.

"My breasts are like towers..." The Shulamit woman told her lover, King Solomon. She also said, "I am a wall..." These made King Solomon’s respect for her soar.

Let me explain this scene to you, SINGLE LADIES. Shulamit was a raving beau and king Solomon's testosterone always burnt hot each time he saw her. He wanted to lay her. Shulamit appreciated his advances but let him know that she was a wall, meaning, she was a virgin and her breasts were standing firm and erect.

I want to be very graphic and frank with ladies here. A single lady's breasts should be firm and erect. Too many young ladies go about with sagging breasts and they had to use all manner of push-up bras to pack it up.

If you are UNMARRIED, you should have firm breasts standing erect. Your breasts should be like towers. It is the pride and glory of a woman when she stands before her husband on the wedding night, strong, firm and in shape.

If your breasts are sagging, what made them sag? Who sagged them? Who are the guys squeezing, rubbing, sulking and milking leaving you all flat and out of shape? At what age? 15, 16, 18, 20, 25? Where is your pride, where is your glory, where is your honour?

She also said "I am a wall..." she is not easily penetrable. Your husband shouldn't find your door swinging opened on the wedding night. Candidly, penetration should not be an express road; straight, easy, no obstruction, no nothing! On the wedding night!!! That memory of your first sex with your husband will stick to you forever.

Are you already an opened door? Who opened you Is the door so wide men look at you with disgust after every act? One guy was so disgusted he asked the girlfriend to dress up and leave. It was like she just delivered a set of twins 2 weeks before. The door was not only widely opened but over stretched and....Lord have mercy!!!

Who opened you? One of the pride and glory of a woman is her virginity, chastity and purity. A strong body image affects your self esteem in a great way. Too many ladies walk about with damaged, shattered and broken self esteem because they've been opened, squeezed, used and abandoned!

It's not too late. You can start all over again. Repackage yourself.
Gather the pieces of your life together. Raise your head with pride and say "No, I won't open my door again until I'm properly married."

You will attract a man who respects your decision, marry you beautifully and honour you forever.
For more visit: www.askseunoladele..com

Compatibility simply means agreement. Amos
3:3 says "Can two walk together except they
agree?"
One thing we have to understand about God is
that He does not contradict Himself. God will
NEVER give you a spouse you are not compatible
with -never! That is one of the acid test of
God's will. If you are both not compatible and
you insist on going go the altar, you are making
the greatest mistake of your life -truth is bitter.
Marriage is 90% communication. Every other
thing you do is just 10%. If you both cannot
COMMUNICATE effectively, deeply and intimately,
your marriage is doomed to fail. It is as serious
as that.

How you communicate determines how strong
your marriage will be. Remember, I didn't say
talk, I said communicate because communication
is both verbal and non-verbal. For instance, if
you hate fruit salad and your spouse is fond
of preparing it, and despite your complain they
keep preparing and insist you eat it, and you
know deep down that you will never love fruit
salad because it gives you running stomach,
soon, you will begin to associate your partner
with pain. You will start getting angry with them,
then you get bitter, then you start to hate, when
you hate someone you avoid them, when you
start avoiding your spouse you are heading
towards divorce. The problem is, you have not
communicated your hatred for fruit salad in a
way they understand.

You may say well, that is satanic attack, how
can someone divorce because of fruit salad?
Honey, that is ignorance attack -pure ignorance!
Your compatibility should be total. That is, you
should be physically, intellectually, mentally,
socially, spiritually, emotionally and financially
compatible. To save time, I will talk on
INTELLECTUAL and MENTAL COMPATIBILITY
because they have a lot to do with
communication.I pray you don't fail in this area.
Your level of intelligence plays a major role in
marriage. How you reason and perceive life
determines what you experience, what you do
and what you eventually become. The way your
spouse reasons with you will determine whether
you keep talking or hide and eventually shut
down.

If your thinking is HIGH and your partner is LOW,
there is a major disparity you need to do
something about. If you love logical presentation
of ideas, intellectually stimulating arguments,
practical discussions that generate mind blowing
solutions but your partner loves a yes or no
answer because thinking too much tasks their
brain, think twice before you marry them.This is
serious and you should not joke with it unless
you are prepared to settle for a less than average
marriage.

Some people think because both partners are
graduates, they are mentally compatible and
therefore can marry; says who? A man can have
his Masters and not be mentally compatible with
a secondary school leaver. Schooling does not
increase your intelligence, exercising your mind
does.If you are mentally lazy, getting all the
degrees in the world will not cure your
mental shabbiness. However, if marrying a
graduate boosts your self esteem, ensure you
marry one - you have to be proud of your
partner. Marry an intelligent one if you are
intelligent.There are so many half baked
graduates with certificates on the street.

I know a woman who claim to be a graduate but
nothing suggests it. Her thinking is shallow, her
character is crude, her dressing is backward and
her command of the white man's language is
nothing to write home about.I could not spend
more than 5 minutes with her. Have you ever
heard of husbands divorcing their wives and
marrying their P.A? Because the woman at home
gets complacent with mediocrity while the one at
the office keeps improving.

Both partners should keep growing and
increasing mentally and intellectually together.
Marry a person who agrees with you in this area.
Anything short of this is a big mistake.

Culled From www.askseunoladele..com

What is that one thing your spouse can do that
will make you never to forgive them? Murder,
rape, incest, adultery, lesbianism, fraud,
occultism or what?

Marriage is not a joke. It is big business. I read
true life stories of couples who divorce over
minor offences and I gasp, what if he/she sleeps
with your best friend, what will you do?

Things happen in marriage! Nobody in
his right senses plans to hurt his spouse but
sometimes good intentions go bad and couples
are left, bewildered, dazed, enraged and
revengeful.
Humans are humans. No one is beyond making
mistakes or going the wrong direction. If you
wanna enjoy your marriage and last long in it,
you will need to learn to forgive your spouse no
matter what or else, do not plan to get married
at all.
Forgiveness is not easy. It's so sweet to preach
but very hard to practice. You will need to draw
strength from the higher power to release your
spouse in love.
Not all who married for donkey years had a
smooth sail. If they had to tell you their success
story, you will discover they've had to forgive
their spouse over and over again.
You can't truly love until you make up your mind
to forgive no matter what, only then, will your
marriage become heaven on earth.

Culled From www.askseunoladele..com

Marriage is supposed to be ‘till death pulls us apart' but a lot of things are pulling people apart these days. That's why Marriage Requires 100% commitment from both parties if it must Stand the test of time.

Divorce is increasing at an alarming rate. It is not
only a plague afflicting the west, it has spread to
other parts of the world as well. People now find
it easy to dispose their partners the way they
dispose used tissue paper.
No one can enjoy marriage without the spirit of
patience and endurance or else, they keep
divorcing and re-marrying up to their tenth
marriages!
A marriage that will work must have God at the
center and two adults who are ready to serve
each other. You wake up each day with a desire
to be a blessing to your spouse and think of ways
to make their lives better. You accept them
completely - appreciating their strengths while
you complement their weaknesses with your own
strengths.
People marry for very selfish reasons these days;
any wander the marriage breaks down at any
slight provocation? The man wants a woman who
can bear his children, slave in the kitchen and
service his sexual need 247 whether she likes it
or not while the woman married him basically for
the money. She needed lots of cash to waste on
her frivolous lifestyle. Marriage based on selfish
reasons can't last.
lf you cannot love your partner regardless of what
they do or they don't do, your marriage can't
last.
You soon get tired of the money and sex and long
for deep love, the number one ingredient you never
had in the first place.
I've seen too many heartaches in this type of
marriages and I'm sick and tired of it. Learn to
set your priorities right and put God first.
There is more to a marriage than bearing a "Mrs",
giving birth to children and having sex.
You marry to love and be loved and fulfill the
purpose for which you are created. Don't set up
yourself for divorce. God bless.

Culled From www.askseunoladele..com

I mean you are legally married yet you miss your ex lover and wish they were the one you married instead? About 80% of all married couples feel this way.

The hard reality of marriage is after 2 years of the honeymoon, butterfly in the stomach, head in cloud 9 feelings, the real man/ woman you married with all their weaknesses now stare at you in the face. You now see things you never bargained for and those weaknesses that run you mad, it's all part of marriage.

No one is perfect, your ex isn't either. If you have to take a peep into their own marriage and see what their spouse are going through, you will thank God you never married them. The grass always look greener on the other side.

Contacting your ex and re-establishing your "friendship" in order to get a little of what you had in those days of yore is a sure recipe for marital disaster.

Learn to face reality and work on your marriage. No one is perfect, likewise your husband or wife. They will make you angry, laugh, sad, frustrated, elated and on top of the world. Above all, they will always be there for you regardless of what happens to you. That is the real test of true love. If your ex truly loves you, they should have married you in the first place, why did they break up with you?

Remember you are not perfect too. Your spouse has learnt to live with you and accept you the way you are. One good turn surely deserves another. God bless.

Culled From www.askseunoladele..com

Just give her sometime she'll definitely get over it. Okay?

There are so many strange daddies these days.
Daddies who do the abominable and shatter their
children's lives forever.
Daddies who are bad role models and who are
not fit to be daddies!
Daddies who smoke marijuana and drink to
stupor yet preach to their children not to drink or
smoke, ah, daddy!
Daddies who finger their girls at babies and have
sex with them at very tender ages, what sort of
daddy is that!
Daddies who ask their kids not to watch porn yet
watch it in the corner of his bedroom not
knowing the children are watching through the
key hole, ah, daddy!
Daddies who sleep with a neighbour's daughter
and bring all manner of women home when
mummy is not arround, ah, daddy!!!
Daddies who teach their daughters MouthAction at
the age of 5 in order to derive demonic pleasure
from them, what sort of daddy is that!
Daddies who commit incest, rape, pedeophillia
and bestiality and you think your children are not
watching!
Daddies who rain heavy curses on their children
very early in the morning over minor offences
may the Lord have mercy!
Daddies who treat their children like animals and
beat them to the point of death in the name of
discipline, haba, daddy!!!
Daddies who abuse and beat their mummies
right in their presence, what sort of daddy is
that?
Daddies who steal their children's school fees.
Daddies who use their children for money ritual.
Daddies who are armed robbers, kidnappers and
ritualists! Daddies who hate God and humanity.
Daddies who force their girls into early marriage
to a man old enough to be her grand father
because of ego, kudi, owo, naira, dollar, yen,
ruppies, pounds sterling, ah, daddy!!!
Everyone is complaining children of nowadays
are corrupt and ill mannered, who raised them,
did they fall from the sky? The problem is not
children of nowadays but parents of nowadays.
What kind of parent are you? You can't be a bad
father and expect your kids to turn out well.
Have mercy on your innocent children and lead
them aright. Train them in the way of the Lord
and be good role models to them or else...may
the Lord have mercy!!!
Seun Oladele at 00:30

Culled From www.askseunoladele..com

Domestic violence is real. People die daily in their marriages and this is not a joke. I don't care what your Pastor tells you, if your partner is threatening your life, pack your bags and leave before you end up in your early grave! Some people are insane and you can't spend the rest of your life with them. No sane man will stab his wife to death, gauge her eyes and do lots of gruesome things I can't mention. No sane man will butcher his wife in the night, cut her to pieces, pack her into a polythene bag and prepare it for money ritual. No sane man would beat his wife to death. No sane woman would cut off her husband's penis in the name of adultery. No sane woman would pour hot, boiling water on her husband. No sane woman would tear her husband's clothes to shreds, beat him blue black and go completely crazy all in the name of abuse! No sane woman would stab her husband 37 times, skin him, cook him for dinner and serve her children the macabre meal! No sane man will shoot his wife to death! These are true life stories and they happen to well dressed, educated and even "spiritual" people. If your spouse is consistently acting strangely, paranoid, beating you or hitting you at every slight provocation, you need to LEAVE. One young lady told me she always go to bed with a knife by her side. That was the only way she could defend herself because the paranoid, psychotic husband could just wake up and attack her. No one told her to leave later when it was apparent her life was at stake. People don't just act strangely. Years of hurt, pain, frustration, unresolved conflicts, acute depression and demonic oppression can turn normal people into agents of death. Never take your spouse for granted. Flirting, cheating, verbal/emotional/psychological abuse, hot temper, possessive, crazy, insane jealousy can drive a man mad to the point of killing his wife. Incest, pedophilia, bestiality, rape, cheating, adultery, hunger, anger and several years of hurt can make a woman kill her husband. This is not theory, these are real life issues. Fear of the unknown, what people will say, what Pastors and church members will think and social stigma often make some women endure until they find themselves in their early grave and people will still blame them after they are dead for being so stupid while they were alive. No, I'm not asking you to divorce your spouse. You can still work on your marriage after you've gotten your sanity together and from a safe distance of course but in a hot marriage where you are always afraid your spouse may hack you to death? May the Lord have mercy!!!
culled From www.askseunoladele..com

A lot of women especially married women have
very low self esteem due to their body image.
Let's face it, God gave women a fabulous body!
Two firm breasts, a flat stomach and another
great asset right behind, topped with well carved
eyes, nose and soft lips. God is the best artist
anyone can imagine!

No woman wants to lose her shape but many
years of marriage and childbirth leave their
marks and to the woman's dismay, her breasts
sag, her stomach distends, she loses the muscle
tone behind and her eyes carry weary bags
underneath. She may even begin to notice some
grey hair before the age of 40!

If she has a loving and understanding husband
who focuses more on her inner beauty and
always admire her, all is well but if she marries a
fault finder who finds her repulsive, it can KILL
her self esteem, COMPLETELY!

I meet too many beautiful, intelligent women
with very low self esteem and it breaks my heart
to pieces. I can't stand it, I can't afford to see
damaged adults with pleading eyes begging to
be loved it always leaves me with pain.
Alright, if you are married to a man who gets
worried about your looks, there is really a lot you
can do about it. You don't need to leave
anything to chance. You can look fabulous and
win your husband's admiration again.

1. FOR BAGGY EYES: Smile a lot, it narrows your
eyes and makes you appear more beautiful.
Everyone loves a smiling woman and it takes
habit, daily practice to smile at people. It
doesn't depend on circumstances. Avoid looking
tired and get plenty of rest after a hard day job.

2. FOR SMALL OR SAGGING BREASTS: Wear
well padded, push up bra and avoid bras that
give you a sagging look. Yes, your hubby knows
they aren't firm and sees them all the time but
you can give him a better look often by wearing
beautiful, colourful push up bras that makes your
breasts look fuller and rounder at the surface.

3. FOR A BIG TUMMY due to fibroid, you may
need to go for surgery to remove the fibroids
(discuss with your husband) and for post
pregnancy abscess that refuses to go down,
practice kegel exercise, try trainers and other
products that helps you achieve a better look. Be
very careful though, there are lots of products
out there that are very dangerous to woman's
health. Make adequate, thorough research before
jumping at products.

4. FLAT BUTTOCKS: Nothing can be done about
that but you can look your best by wearing
clothes that draws more attention to your chest,
legs and face and less attention on your
buttocks.

5. FOR AN "UGLY" FACE: No woman is ugly. It's
amazing how millions of women see themselves
as less than an ogre. Simply clear the blemishes,
pimples and eczema through regular facial wash
or facial cleanser and apply ointments, cream or
other products that help clear blemishes. A
flawless face is a job half done. It is beautiful on
its own. If your husband loves makeup, learn to
apply it. Seek help and advise from experts. If
not, you can still look great without makeup.
Read my post on TO USE OR NOT TO USE
MAKEUP.

6. EXCESSIVE WEIGHT: You will need to drop
that weight. It takes discipline to lose weight
not crash diet or drugs! These are very
dangerous to your health! Lower your calorie
intake. In a simple lay man's language, avoid
excessive consumption of chicken,
turkey, doughnut, puff puffs and all the fries. Eat
less fatty fish, vegetables and drink lots
of water. Exercise a lot. You don't have to go to
the gym and if you want to, it's great.
Walking, jugging, dancing, skipping, walking up
and down your stair case are very good form
of exercise! Learn to burn the fat. Exercise a lot
and avoid being lazy.

7. WEAR CLOTHES THAT SUIT YOUR FIGURE:
Pear shaped women have very heavy bottoms
but average or small breasts. Wear padded bra
and clothes that fit your body. Apple shaped
women are very heavy at the top but flat behind.
You don't need padded bra at all. You are
already padded! Wear clothes that emphasize
your strengths and less on your weaknesses. For
hourglass shapes, fitted gowns, fitting tops and
skirts will speak volume on you. For the straight
shape, nice shirts, fitting blouses with 'flayard'
at the waist will look fabulous on you. This is
just a skeletal advice. You can research more or
go to google for more information.

8. LOVE YOURSELF: Enjoy your life. Accept
yourself, love yourself and learn to look good.
Beauty lies more on having a positive approach
to life. You will feel better and develop a
healthier self esteem.

Culled From www.askseunoladele..com

SWEET LADY...

My sweet ladies, very special ladies, it's high time we brushed up our self esteem and surrender our hearts to that man who truely deserves it.

It's time to forget those time wasters and pray for your own very bone and flesh. That man that will treat you like the greatest miracle of his life and carry you like an egg. You may say , "Seun doesn't know what she's talking about, I am very difficult to live it." That is exactly why he loves to marry you because your lifestyle simply tantalize him rather than scare him or you say, "but I have a past." Everyone has a past honey, no one is a saint. It's because of that past he's gonna marry you, he aint looking for a saint! "Oh, what about my family background?" It means absolute nothing to him whether you are rich or poor he loves you for who you are.
"But I'm unattractive, I look like a Tomboy." No one turns him on like a Tomboy, that is why he will go crazy for you. "Okay, I'm too fat." I've met men who likes big or fat women, he will treat you like the greatest discovery of his life and his long lost treasure.

Celebrate yourself honey.
No matter who you are, there is a man on his knees praying day and night to meet you. He needs exactly your kind of person and he would give anything in the world to have you. Please do not despise yourself, do not give up on your dream of the wonderful soul mate created solely for you. That special man will come for you in God's own time and once that happens, heavens will rejoice with you...wait for him! He will soon come.Cheers!