Those planning to get married should not get a very big, expansive bed that can conviniently sleep 5 people as your matrimonial bed. It's not a sign of wealth, it is the devil at work! Couples with very big beds find it easy to keep malice!

Husband can roll to Abuja, the wife can roll to Lagos. A normal bed for two is okay. By the time you keep rolling around with your body experiencing "electric shock", you will settle your quarel quick quick and have time for the night's business!
www.askseunoladele..com

HAVING SEX OR MAKING LOVE?

You are having sex if you only join your sexual organs. You are making love if your spirit, soul, body, affection, tenderness, respect, honour and admiration is involved in the sex! You are renewing your love over and over again when you affectionately pour all of yourself into your spouse!

The reason for so many cheating and sexual affairs is most couples, about 90% are having sex, not making love and sex alone does not satisfy. Just going in and coming out does not satisfy! Using your spouse's body as a sexual release does not satisfy!!! Orgasm in itself alone does not satisfy!

What really satisfies is the fact that you are wanted, needed, desired, admired, deeply respected, appreciated, honoured and celebrated. When you feel this way with each other you want to express yourself at the deepest level, you want to make love over and over again, you are renewing your love!

Only your soul mate can make you enjoy sex! Only God's will for your life can really bond with you. You only feel secured around a person who gives you peace and Only the will of God in marriage can give you peace. When you have peace, joy and spiritual oneness in marriage, sexual enjoyment naturally follows!

All sex outside marriage is abuse! Every pre-marital sex is an abuse of your body, you are not making love, you a are making trouble! You are creating disaster! You are playing with fire! If you eventually marry your partner in crime, that sex won't last because you ain't in love, you married out of lust! Love is patient and will for marriage to have sex; lust steals sex from you without paying bride price. You are seen as a sex object before marriage, you will continue to be a sex object after marriage!

Marrying God's will is the best choice you will make in your life. Don't let the devil cheat you out of God's will due to impatience and desperation!

Peace is an acid test of Gods will. Amos 3:3 is a sign you are flowing together!

Learn self control before marriage. Keep your virginity till marriage. Stop having sex. Marry a spouse who celebrates, honours, cherishes and totally adores you. You will enjoy making love over and over again. I hope you understand? God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

THIS ROMANCE MUST NOT STOP!

Some people believe after marriage, reality will set in, your spouse will be less desirable, familiarity will take over and you start falling in love with someone else!

I don't believe in it. A successful marriage is hard work! You must constantly work on it and keep the sparks alive. You don't have to get bored of your spouse, you don't have to lose the spark, you don't have to hate the sex, you don't have to stop doing the things you were doing in courtship that made you fall in love with them in the first place!

We are created with needs: need for affection, companionship, sexual pleasure, intimacy, fulfillment of purpose. Your spouse had the potential to meet this need that is why you married them. Your deep seated needs won't disappear because you are now married, it keeps growing by the day! Those needs just must be met, if they are not met, someone else will come along to do that and you will end up falling in love with them, its the reason for the emotional/sexual affairs all over the places!

If you love talking, your spouse MUST keep talking to you! The bastardized economy is tearing families apart as almost every one is jumping out to make money at odd hours leaving marriages to suffer! The problem of some couples is greed. They must ride the latest car in town, wear the most expensive clothes and show off while neglecting their marriages. What they have is never enough, they abandon their marriages to make all the billions then use the billions to repair the many damages the broken marriage had caused, by then it is too late!

Never stop dating! That is what keeps marriage alive! You can't stop telling her you love her because she's now a wife and a mother! You can't stop admiring, praising, complimenting and sending her sexy text messages! You can't stop opening car doors for her because she now owns her own car! You shouldn't stop getting her the bouquet, chocolate and suya on your way back from work, keep courting your wife! Don't let work snuff all the life out of your marriage. Don't watch romance die out of carelessness. Don't open your two eyes and watch another man have an affair with your wife due to your negligence!

Do not stop praising him, do not stop admiring him, do not stop sending romantic messages. Do not stop creating time to be together and keep the sparks flowing. I understand you can be busy. Raising kids is time consuming, you just have to create time to keep the flame alive!

Despite my very busy schedules, I create time to be with hubby, vice versa. I admire him daily, seek ways to help and support, keep the friendship flowing, communication in top gear and ensure romance doesn't die. I sometimes pull him on my laps or sit on his laps, say sweet things into his ears and massage his ego.

Seven years of marriage didn't stop him from chasing me, opening our apartment door and allowing me to go first, spending time with me and telling me almost on daily basis I've got the hottest body he's ever seen in his entire life. He tells me I'm so intelligent, smart, sharp and principled. Nothing any man wants to say out there is new. I've heard so much of it at home.

Some women jump into the arms of every Tom, Dick and Harry in the name of hugging because they are rarely hugged at home. Some men give young ladies hot chase when they are admired because their wives rarely see anything good in them.

Keep romance alive. Keep chasing, dating, courting, admiring, complimenting, supporting and helping! Keep passion alive! Don't allow your marriage go stale! Don't let it become boring!

One man confessed after he was through with an affair: "I never knew how hungry I was until she came along..." Don't create an emotional, sexual, physical hunger in your spouse for someone else to fill.

Don't wait till your spouse starts having affairs before running helter-skelter. Only the God of heaven Himself can intervene once a spouse starts sleeping around. Adultery is devastating to say the least!

May the Lord grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE

Who told you you are ready for marriage? Here are the signs you are far from tying the knot even if you are 40 years old!

1. You have no single vision for your life. You don't know what you want, how to get it and how to attract the right person to help you fulfil destiny.

2. You have no single source of income. You beg to eat and pay bills.

3. You are idle. No job, no dream, no hobby, no vision, no passion.

4. You are hot tempered!

5. You are a bitterly jealous, critical person with acute low self esteem plus down syndrome characterized by perpetual depression!

5. You lack self control. You act on impulse. You open your mouth without any restrain, you go any where your erection direct you. You sleep with anything in skirt/ trouser, you eat without caution, you act any how you feel like without any second thought.

6. You don't submit to authorities.

7. You don't have any personal relationship with Christ. You do not pray neither do you read your bible.

8. You don't know how to cook good food and do house chores.

9. You are very lazy, passive, idle, laid back, slow and backward.

10. You hate sex.

11. You are a sex maniac!

12. You are a feminist.

13. You are an alpha male.

14. You tell lies a lot.

15. You pretend a lot. You don't tell people what you really want or how you really feel.

16. You are not assertive!

17. You are stubborn, self opinionated, myopic, pompous, proud, rude, sassy, obnoxious, anti-social, heady, rash!

18. You don't like kids.

19. You waste money and resources.

20. You are squatting (as a man).

21. You are dull.

22. You don't read about marriage.

23. You are double dating.

24. You hate married couples.

25. You are selfish and self centred.

26. You love sin.

These and more are attitude that will crash your marriage. You must deal with them or watch your marriage go into the dustbin.

Success in marriage is not by accident. You must work towards it. Deal with these weaknesses so you can attract the right spouse, get married on time and enjoy heaven on earth in your marriage. I wish you the best. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

UNDERSTANDING YOUR MAN...

Men are the simplest specie I've ever handled in my life. No man is difficult, ignorance is what makes it difficult. If you want men to fall in love with you and your fiance/husband to treat you like the greatest treasure on earth, you must understand what makes a man a man, the right buttons to click and how to enjoy a sweet, blissful, heaven on earth marriage with him!

1. MEN HAVE FIRST LOVE they are passionate about and that is his work. A man must succeed. Not making progress in life is like being impotent, he feels castrated! You must understand this and give him space to succeed. This requires time, efforts, focus, sleepless nights. To demand he spend all his waking hours watching romantic movie with you is to turn him to a perpetual failure! Idle ladies who have nothing sensible doing with their lives except disturb their fiance at work per minute, per second to fill their empty life are a big turn off!

2. MEN HAVE EGO: he needs it to be the head of his home and succeed. You must distinguish between ego and pride. A man with a healthy ego will listen to you but firmly and lovingly let you know his final decision. A man with pride won't listen to you at all, snob you and treat you like trash!

A man with a healthy ego is not a dummy! Some women expect their men to take all their advice and follow all their instruction, that's not possible! He can't take everything. He will take the ones that makes sense and put aside the ones that will land you in trouble.
He is the head. You can't force your ideas on him, you can only advise, the final decision lies in his hand, shikennah!

3. MEN ARE MOVED BY SIGHT: it's so amazing so many ladies are ignorant of this. Look, if you don't want that guy to have sex with you, COVER UP whenever you are with him. I don't understand how a sane Christian sister will go to her fiance's house with a mini skirt and your laps thrown apart right in front of him! You also wore a low neckline and each time you bend, your big mammalian glands are staring menacingly at him and you tell him not to...not to do what? I pity men honestly, the temptation they face daily, only the God of heaven Himself understands because women are refusing to understand!
In marriage, you must deliberately make your husband chase you around for sex, just one look at some wives, all the sexual desire the husband has flies right through the window! Stinking mouth, bushy armpit, torn underwear, ragged pant, smelling wrapper, etc, etc. Yet the man is surrounded by sweet smelling, well dressed, tantalizing, head swooning babes at work! You must keep packaging and re-packaging! Get transparent bra that pushes the central focus forward, jaw dropping lingerie, sex triggering perfumes and blow his imagination off as often as you can (this is strictly for the married).

4. MEN WANT PEACE OF MIND: Nagging, criticizing, shouting, yelling, abusing and cursing can destabilize a man, you should minimize it as much as possible in fact, stop it all together.
Some men hate coming home early because the troublesome wife will nag life out of him till late in the night! Once he wakes up, she repeats the cycle till he leaves home! Men like that usually end up with mistresses or second wives! Men run towards women who give them peace not shatter them to pieces!

5. MEN LIKE QUALITY FOOD: unless he didn't give you enough money or he likes it, concoction rice with ground pepper, onions, coconut oil and maggi is an insult to him! Watery stew that drops to his elbow while eating is a big bomb on his head! Egusi soup that looks as if garri is sprinkled over a pot of water is a big slap on his face! His money should reflect what you cook please! Maximize what you have, treat him like a king!

6. MEN LOVE TO BE PRAISED: candidly, I love praising men, praise of man is my natural territory! When I noticed it almost landed me in trouble as men kept giving the chase, I stopped it all together and focus on my husband.
If you are a man-praiser, you will never lack a man's love all your life! You will be pampered, loved and cherished! I've never met a single man who does not respond to praise!
Stingy, selfish, bitterly critical women who see nothing good in their men never have lasting marriages! Praise your husband silly! Appreciate his efforts in your life. Look out for his good qualities and his song in his ears daily!
I love praising my husband, it gives me deep pleasure doing so, he sure deserves it and he enjoys listening to it.

7. RESPECT HIM: Ladies who shout at their fiance, order him around and disgrace him in public because she has a masters degree in international marketing will stay a long long time as single before she finds an old man to marry! You must be humble if you want to be under any man's roof! Respect is the food of every man. Learn to respect your fiance, show honour to your husband. Saying "yes sir" when appropriate won't make you less of a woman! Learn how to talk to a man. Some women just don't know how to talk! Never correct him in public, don't send him on errand in front of his friends, stop making jest of him in front of the children, it's baaaaad!!!

8. SUBMIT TO HIM: God states it clearly, "wives, submit to your husbands." Submit your body and other things when he needs them. If you have any trouble with that, ask God, not me. Why was Abraham madly in love with Sarah? She didn't allow her exceptional beauty make her proud, she was a very submissive, respectful wife who called her husband "Lord."

9. SUPPORT: Men want women who can support whenever they need help. That is why lots of men are having affairs with colleagues at work because the colleague is eager to help when he needs it most while the one at home left him to handle his problems by himself. Why then did he get married? What is her role in his life as a HELPER?

10. MEN GO THROUGH SEASONS: the season of little, the season of managing, the season of abundance! No man wants a gold digger who runs away when he has challenges only to show up when he has made it and has millions flowing in his account!

Men are not difficult at all. These and more are what makes a man tick, thrive and enjoy the woman he has vowed to spend the rest of his life with. Can you he that kind of woman? Do you have what it takes to make your husband happy and fulfilled? Think about it. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun.Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

DIRTY SECRETS IN MARRIAGE...

I've heard stuffs like, "don't check your husband's phone if you don't want to develop hypertension." What is in that phone that you cannot check? Excuse me brother, what secret conversations are you having that your wife must not see or hear about? Who are you having secret chats with as a wife? Why are you deleting your chats, what is in the chat you are deleting?

Emotional affair is every where! The moment you start having secret admiration for someone who is not your spouse, you are lusting and you need to deal with it. You can't carry fire in your bossom and not be burnt! The only solution to dealing with the affair is to block that person from your life. To keep talking to them with the false hope you will deal with the lust is to live in a fool's paradise. You will one day have sex with that person, GUARATEED! Flee youthful lust is what the Bible says, it!s not just for singles, it's for the married as well.

There is one sure fire proof safe guard against adultery, it is COMPLETE OPENNESS to your spouse. Never have any conversation with any mortal your spouse must not know about. If they are not discreet with information, you are afraid to open up or you don't know where to start, read my ebook: LIES THAT BREAK MARRIAGES, it will help a lot. Both you and your spouse should read it. It will teach you how to build trust from scratch and learn to open up to each other. It's very easy to get. Just transfer/pay #500 to Tella Patience Oluwaseun, 0036541429; Access Bank. Send me your email address, you will get it within 1 hour after payment.

There should be no secret opposite sex friend any where. The two of you have now become one. Whatever belongs to you belongs to them, your phone, tablet, laptop, etc belong to them. You should be able to go to sleep whenever they go through your phone.

Some men develop high blood pressure the moment the wife picks his phone. Some share the same pass word with their spouse but have secret chats on facebook messenger! The wife can log into his account as often as possible but will never see those secret chats. Only the ones he wants to show will be there to see. A marriage built on lies never lasts, it's a matter of time, it will soon explode and raze down to ashes!

Lots of women too are in emotional affairs. You discuss your marital problems with male friends and have secret chats with them. They capitalize on your info and meet the needs your husband is unable to meet in your life, you begin to admire them, have fondness for them, go out with them and eventually have sex, at the end you become broken, shattered, bitter and angry at yourself for being so cheap!

Guard your heart with all diligence is what the Holy Book says. I do not have any secret conversation with anyone my husband does not know about. Sooner or later, he will get to read the messages.

Those who send me flirty messages are sending it to both of us because we both read it and he teaches me how to respond. I do not keep friends he does not approve of. He is quick to inform me if any woman shows interest in him, we both discuss how to deal with it and rest the case. We watch each other's backs. We monitor each other, we help each other stay pure. That is what marriage is all about.

If you truly love your spouse you will be opened and accountable to them. You will allow them help you wherever you are weak with the opposite sex. You will not only be naked in body but heart and mind as well.

It's TRUE INTIMACY when you can honestly open your heart to your spouse: "honey, I think I'm getting attracted to so and so person, please help me out" and they will not criticize, judge or condemn you but rather, take you by the hand and help you out of the valley of emotional confusion. That is what true intimacy really is, that is what marriage is, that type of union is rare, it s real heaven on earth. "And they were both naked and not ashamed..." (Genesis 2:25).

Don't forget to order for the ebook: LIES THAT BREAK MARRIAGES, it will help you restore love, trust, peace, intimacy and joy in your home. I wish you bliss eternal in your marriage. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017
www.askseunoladele..com
askseunoladele@gmail.com

THE LADY EVERY MAN WISHES TO MARRY...

How do you get men drooling over you, chasing you and fighting hard to put the wedding ring on your finger?

1. CONFIDENCE: confident women are simply irresistible. Ladies who know exactly where they are going and how to get there never lack suitors. No man wants to waste his marital years dragging an unwilling wife down the path of success, it's maddening! When you aspire for greatness and you relentlessly work towards it, you are a quick magnet to highly responsible men.

2. INTELLIGENCE: The ability to have logical, rational discussion without fibbling is a number one magnet any day, any time. Intelligent men want intelligent wives. Local gossip turn men of vision off! Saying senseless jargons for hours on end without any meaningful contribution to a discussion at hand is a big turn off!

3. SMARTNESS: Men like smart ladies. Lazy posture, slow attitude, dragging feet, drooling, backward thinking, procrastination, passivity and idleness turn men off.

4. FRIENDLINESS: Friendly ladies always have men at their beck and call. A heart felt smile that begins from your eyes, a warm, charming personality, genuine care for others, servant hood, service, rendering help to people when they need it makes you a super hot cake for eligible bachelors!

5. HUMILITY: (not stupidity) makes you an instant wife material. Teachable, meek, humble women have men fight hard to win her hand in marriage. An arrogant, pompous, brash, sassy, saucy, snobbish lady is ugly to men!

6. NEATNESS: Neat ladies turn head. Forget about Kim Kardashian curves and plastic surgery. No need to bleach your skin. Just make or comb your hair regularly. Bath twice daily. Brush your teeth twice daily. Wear clean clothes, eradicate all body odour and wear clean foot wears, men will find you appealing.

7. FASHIONABLE: Forget about religion and get real. Trim our eye brow, soften your lips (use Rubb if you can't apply make up), wear make up that fits you not the one in vogue, wear the clothe that fits your body shape, be feminine. Look smart for work, look fabulous on special occasions, look beautiful to church.

8. LOVE YOURSELF: Women who love themselves have men fall in love with them. Hubby lost his head for me because I was madly in love with myself. I don't give a hoot if you don't like me, that's your business! I love God, I love people, I love myself, I'm crazy about me! I'm simply the best of my version! Never copy me, you will fail woefully. Just be yourself, love yourself and enjoy your uniqueness.

9. SEXUAL DISCIPLINE: Do you want a man come crawling and begging you to marry him? Close thy laps! Ladies who are pretty, confident, fashionable yet sexually pure are simply tantalizing! Oh my goodness, when a man wishes he has you and yet could not, oh my... oh my.... he goes crazy for you! Wait! I'm not talking about those play boys who threaten to dump you because you refuse to have sex. What the hell are you doing with such a cheap sex addict in the first place? Dump him!

10. SPIRITUALITY: Tongue speaking, Bible addict, prayer loving ladies are simply charming! Every man wants a praying wife. You are surely a rare specie if you love God and you shamelessly flaunt Him, godly men will beg God to please give you to them.

Alright. These and more qualities will help you attract your soul mate fast.
God bless you. Cheers!
©Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

HE'S JUST NOT INTERESTED IN YOU...

See, when a guy likes you, he likes you, if you call him 60 times per hour, your call gives him pleasure and he enjoys it. If a man doesn't like you, call him once in an hour, you are seriously disturbing him and wants you out of his way. The problem now is, most ladies are desperately running after guys who are simply not interested in them and make themselves cheaply available to him.

If you want to learn how to handle a man, you learn from a man, not just a woman. That is why it is good to have opposite sex friends as singles, it will help you know how to handle your spouse in future! That question I asked guys on who they think a cheap/desperate lady is is very deliberate. Their responses are practical, though some went overboard. A wise woman will learn from those priceless information and work on her weaknesses!

There is a difference between being friendly and CHASING a guy and a man knows when you are chasing him! If you treat that guy the same way you treat everyone and you don't care how he views it, you are just being friendly. But of your heart palpates at the mere mention of his name, you always look forward to seeing him, you are the FIRST to call, to chat, to seek his house address, ask questions about his EX, seek to meet his parents and families, do all his laundering without him even asking, spend the night in his house, have sex every time with him, my dear, if no one has ever told you this truth before, hear it clearly now, YOU ARE CHEAP!

My counselling sessions is filled with ladies who are heartbroken over and over again by men who are simply not interested in them, simple!

If a man likes you, he will reciprocate. Love is mutual, it is not one sided. If he doesn't like you, he will be cold. Get that signal, save your dignity, move back and pray for a man who values and and appreciate your worth!

Being in a relationship where you both love each other doesn't mean you should barge in and out of the man's life. Men like women who are in control of their emotions.

Yes, a new found love can be so exhilarating. No matter how you feel, press your heart and calm down. Don't call him 60 times an hour, in the middle of board meeting, while writing a professional exam or simply busy in the office, men hate it when their work is unnecessarily disturbed!

Ask him, the time he is free during work and call him during those free hours. Same rules apply to men. Don't call her every 2 minutes while at work, respect office hours. Respect work. Read Ecclesiastes 3. To every thing there is time and season. There is a time for work, time to play, time to pray and time to catch fun.

Respecting other's time is a sign of maturity and a high value for other's time, relationship and work ethics.

Yes, be friendly. Smile at men, show love, care and respect but darling, if that guy is not returning your affection, don't push it, that is being desperate. Read the engaged and singles' section of my ebook: LIES THAT BREAK MARRIAGES, it's just #500. It will help you know which relationship to keep and which to end. May the lord grant you understanding. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

FEED HIS EYES...

Some men are promiscuous, no matter what you do they will steal cheat. "A cheat will always cheat", fine, that doesn't mean we should do nothing about those who are not cheating and watch our marriages end in the divorce court!

Men are moved by sight! What he sees affects him in a great way. Every woman needs to understand this and let it sink in. Some men are attracted to busts, some hips, some face, some hair. It is the responsibility of the wife to ensure he gets enough food for his eyes at home, feed his eyes!

One man ran to a man of God and complained he was always staring at women's breasts. Every where he turns, that's the first place his eyes would go. You may say he needs deliverance and call him dog, animal or whatever! You may also say all he needs is prayers and nothing more! Prayer is good but "faith without work is dead!" The man of God advised him to always look, stare and enjoy the sight of his wife's breasts for as much as he could before he left home every morning. He started doing that and it automatically cured his "lust".

My husband once employed a staff who was fond of shaking her bum all over the place. That wasn't my problem. I got something bigger and better so rivalry in that place was not my headache! I later discovered she was into married men and whenever she wanted to speak to her boss, she would sit on the desk opposite him not on a chair! I advised my perfect gentle man who hates to hurt a soul, allow the little wanderer remain in her chair to receive her instructions!

Her tempo was increasing. Hubby told me he was checking the classes (he is a proprietor) and on getting to a particular place, he saw his staff with skirt down and only her underwear remaining. She weakly attempted to wear her skirt on seeing him! He said he left the place immediately and never looked back. I then discovered this girl is becoming a threat.

One day, hubby told me he clearly he wanted me to start sleeping naked. I wasn't used to that all my life. Even as a spinster living in my own apartment before marriage, I always slept fully clothed! I adjusted fast and started sleeping stark naked! I noticed a heave of relief when I started doing that and he was calm, satisfied and completely at peace. The lady was eventually sacked!

Not every man go about chasing ladies! Some ladies love to hunt married men including your husband. Fast and pray for him but also do everything within your power give him good, quality food for his eyes. Let him see you the way he wants to. Stop hiding your body from him! Stop tying wrapper from morning till night! Stop sleeping clothed! Wear lingerie in the bedroom if that is what he wants!

Let him boast about his wife! Some men will boast to their friends, "there is nothing any girl have there that my wife doesn't have!". Turn him on and let him upload and download on you as often as he wants. The man should also do everything in his power to satisfy your desires too. It is a two way thing.

If we can consistently do this, we will reduce the divorce in our society and have happier homes.

Don't forget to order for my ebook: LIES THAT BREAK MARRIAGES, it will help a lot. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

MEN AND THEIR EGO...

Some men are proud, no doubt about that but every man has an ego no matter how humble he is. When I asked ladies what turn them off in a man, aside dirt, lies and cheating, most mentioned pride, I noticed some where confusing inherent ego with pride.

God created men with in built ego. He needs that ego to be a man and succeed. I didn't say pride, I said ego! It is this ego that gives him confidence, take, charge, be a leader in relationships and be the head of his home. A man must be the head in marriage if he must be happy. That is the way God made him.

What then do you do with this ego? Massage it (I didn't say massage him). Praise him, admire him, compliment him, appreciate him, honour him, respect him, value him! That is why he seems to be boasting, he is hungry for your praise! He is not taking correction? He wants you to compliment before correcting him! He is commanding you up and down? He wants submission.

Don't treat a man like a woman, that is why you were attracted to him in the first place, his ruggedness drew your attention!

This is not excusing men with pride. Looking down on people, calling shots, being stubborn, arrogant, cocky, snobbish, rude and abusive is out of it. If the guy shows this attributes, you should dump him fast! He is a potential wife batterer!

Men with a healthy ego acknowledge their women. They admire, praise, compliment, listen to them and take advise when necessary yet are in charge of the relationship, have confidence and are good leaders with good examples.

Nurse your man's ego, respect him, praise him, admire him and he will honour you for life!

May the Lord grant you understanding, God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

BEFORE THEY RAPE YOU

Ladies, don't expose yourself to rape. The way some ladies dress these days can make a man "pee" in his pants, honestly!

Your body structure determines what you wear. Some say "If you've got it, flaunt it!" That's crazy! Why must you flaunt what is already there? We are not blind, we can see it already, you don't need to expose it, it's already shooting out!

If you are busty, you can't wear any low neckline, you will cause accidents on the road. Medium and small busted women can wear mid-low and it will look great, extremely low neckline is a NO-NO for any lady!

Please, cover your thigh especially when it is massive! Why must you expose large chunks of flesh before you feel beautiful? Deal with low self esteem a beg, these things won't attract serious minded guys to you.

Only prostitutes wear bum shorts on the road. If you must wear panty hose (tight/leggings), ensure the top is big and covers your bum down to your thigh, you look more mature and attractive that way.

Crazy jeans makes you look crazy, please stop spreading madness.

There is a new trend going on now. Some ladies go about without pant or bra for only God knows why! Perhaps to help the rapist easily find his way, please, stop that, it's trashy!

Transparent clothes makes you look like a prostitute, wear under wear please.

All those who call themselves slay queens needs to be slain by the conviction of the Holy Spirit, God seriously need to slay your foolishness before those rapists slay your life permanently!

Rapists have no single excuse to rape! To use her dressing as an excuse is to deserve at least 10 years in Aro Neuro Psychiatric home where your head need to be thoroughly examined! Even dogs don't jump at every bitches on the road, why you with a medulla Oblongata? We have already decreed curses on rapists, so shall it be, in Jesus name!

Kings don't marry prostitutes. If you must attract a king you must dress like a queen. Have you ever seen queen Elizabeth dress like a LovePeddler? May the Lord grant you understanding. God bless you, cheers!
©Seun Oladele, 2017
www.askseunoladele..com
askseunoladele@gmail.com

UNDERSTANDING THE HELL WOMEN GO THROUGH...

Because our society is "hush hush", women are not allowed to voice their anger, frustration, pain and suffering. Lest she be seen as un virtuous, many women keep mute and suffer silently in their marriages!

Understand that she is human! Women get angry too! You are not the only one entitled to anger because you have muscles! You often run her mad with your insensitivity, abuse, cheating, lies and selfishness, to ask her to bottle all these and not express her pain is to practically drive her insane!

Understand that women have sexual temptation too. You are not the only one seeing better looking ladies. She sees more handsome men, she sees the richer, nicer, more loving, caring and tender. She chose to take her eyes off and stick to you! Why can't you do same for her?

Some men erroneously think, because their wives have given birth to children, no man will look at her again. Excuse me! There are men dying for your your wife! There are guys who wish they could do justice to her curves! There are men who burn with hot sexual desire when they see her even though she did nothing to turn them on! There are men who are ready to spoil her with money, perks and other benefits. There are men silently salivating, begging, pleading, crying for just five minutes pleasure, to release all the silent arousal they've had for her for months and years on end. Yet, she stuck to you, faithful to the letter! You ignore her, treat her like trash, go about with lousy girls, sleep around and even abuse, beat and starve her! Man, you are wicked!

Understand that she also has sexual desires, she is not just as expressive and demanding as you! Understand that just going in and coming out makes her sore and hate sex altogether. Understand that she needs more romance than sex! She needs at least 20 minutes in pre-intimacy to receive you.

Understand that you need extra effort to give her orgasm! Orgasm is scarce in many marriages, once you can send her to orbit regularly, she will enjoy having sex with you over and over again.

Understand that contraceptives have side effects, limit the effects by using condom once in a while, it won't kill you. Withdrawal is also okay if you can master it.

Understand that she goes through monthly cycle and may occasional scream or act irrational, be quick to forgive her and know that her loving days are coming.

Understand that a woman's body image affects her self esteem, do not use her sensitive body parts to abuse her, after all that's not the way you marry her. No matter how firm and beautiful a woman's body is, it will change after child birth. Lovingly accept her, admire her, praise her and enjoy her. You are aging too, yet she's not complaining!

Rescue her from your mother and siblings, don't allow them to abuse or beat her while you watch, it's inhuman! She's your wife, not your slave!

Understand that she needs to look good. It makes her feel good about herself and people will also praise you for taking care of your wife, spend on her!

Understand that a woman's past does not determine her future. Don't ill treat her because of her past mistakes, treat her well because of the great future ahead of you both. You have a past too yet she loves you with all your mess, flaws and weaknesses!

Understand that women fall in love with men who communicate with them, always talk to and listen to your wife!

Understand that a woman wants to completely trust and defend her husband. Always be truthful and honest with her in all your dealings, she will trust, respect and value you for life!

Encourage her to share her heart with you when she make mistakes. Women hate pretence and lies, she can't keep it for life, it is the fear of what you will do to her that makes her hide and tells lies a lot.

If you will lovingly forgive, advise and encourage her whenever she falls short or make mistakes, she will honestly open all her heart to you every single day of her life, completely naked, hiding nothing.

Read my ebook: LIES THAT BREAK MARRIAGES, this book will teach you how to have honest, intimate discussion with each other. You will settle your marital problems with ease, become each other's best friends, re discover your hidden passion, work on your finance, let go of the affair, focus on your marriage, grow together, change together, adapt together and meet each other's deep needs...it's just five hundred naira only. You get it in your email address one hour after sending your payment details to askseunoladele@gmail.com. To pay for the book, transfer/pay #500 to Tella Patience Oluwaseun; 0036541429, Access Bank. I look forward to hearing your testimony soon. God bless you, cheers!
©Seun Oladele, 2017.

I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM...

Ladies keep asking me what to do when they are madly in love with a guy but he isn't into them. Some said they heard God clearly the guy is the one but he is not showing interest neither is he proposing. The peak is the one whose "boo" is seriously engaged yet she keeps hoping he would one day hear God, end the damned relationship he is already into and propose marriage to her.

Yes, it's possible to hear God ahead of the guy that he is the one. It is possible to be crazy about a guy yet he ain't noticing and it is possible he is very much engaged to someone else, yet you know beyond every shadow of doubt, he is the one, what should you do?

This is where most ladies mess things up. Some would get really impatient and start doing everything in their power to make the guy notice them. Some would out rightly propose to the guy by telling him to his face he is God's will for her! Some would get jealous of his fiancee and try everything within their power to break the relationship and "claim" their "husbands" while some would forward the good news to all their friends who will erroneously address the "innocent" guy as her fiance.

The acid test of God's will is peace. If you truly heard God, you will be at peace and at rest. You won't be impatient; jumping up and down and doing everything humanly possible to get the guy's attention.

You can't force a man to notice you. If he is not attracted to you, he is simply not and there is nothing you can do about that.

Desperation turns men off. A man likes to notice a lady and give her the chase! He values what he sweat to get not what is thrown at him.

So what do you do after receiving the "revelation"? You can only pray that God should reveal the same thing to him while facing your business, no more, no less! If it is truly God who revealed that guy to you as your husband, not your flesh, not the devil, not your emotion, not his good looks, money or fame, the same God will also reveal it to him, God is not the author of confusion my sister! You can't help God to pick a life partner for you. Let him do His job! Yours is to practice 1 Cor 13:4-8 while waiting!

My mentor had known about 2 and half years her husband was the one before he came to propose, in fact, he was already engaged to someone else. 13 different men came to propose to her but she said NO while patiently waiting for a man who obviously had no interest in her. She is a naturally beautiful woman, brilliant, charismatic, a virgin, came from the upper middle class family, spirit filled yet the man didn't notice neither was she parading herself cheaply around him. Eventually, his relationship didn't work out. He sought God's face and God revealed my mentor to him as his wife. It was later in their courtship she shared all God told her about him to him. They are happily married today.

Impatience is a sign you didn't hear God in the first place. God leads, the devil pushes! If you have this crazy urge to rush things, you obviously heard your flesh not God. True love waits and God is love. If you are really sure it is God's will, you will patiently WAIT for Him to work things out and not jump from pillar to post trying to match-make yourself . 1 Cor 13 vs 4 says, "Love is PATIENT..." If you are not patient, it is not God's will my dear, relax, get a glass of cold water and go to sleep. May the Lord grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

LIES THAT BREAK MARRIAGES...

Why are you so afraid of being yourself in your marriage? Why do you tell lies? Why do you sometimes pretend? Why can't you be down to earth real with your partner? Are you single and can't find someone to marry? Does your courtship always give you headache? Are you sick and tired of broken relationships that never lead to marriage?

Are you tired of your marriage? Are you already having an affair or your spouse is having an affair and you wish all these can stop and go back to the way your marriage was at the beginning?

Are things so bad you are already thinking about divorce?
Are you already divorced/ separated and wants your partner back?

Your marriage can be sweeter than the way it was at the beginning, your partner can stop cheating on you, you can pick the right man/woman for your life as a single person, your courtship can take a beautiful dramatic turn and end in a glorious beautiful marriage and yes! You can cancel your divorce and have your EX back. This book: LIES THAT BREAK MARRIAGES specifically teaches you how.

You are going to learn about true intimacy, sweet communication, mutual compromise, heart-to-heart talk in courtship and what to look for when choosing a life partner and LOTS MORE!

So how do I get it

Considering the heartache, pains, sorrow, weeping, regrets and divorce this book is going to save you, it ought to go for #5,000 and you will still thank me for the great impact of this book, but I won't do that considering the present Nigerian economic situation. #2,000 for one is applaudable considering the efforts and research that went into this to ensure you have a blissful marriage and experience heaven on earth like never before, still, I won't want to stress you. I'm giving it out at a token to help everyone get a copy. Everyone must experience a blissful marriage, sweet courtship and pick the right partner for their lives, that's my joy. That's what gives me fulfillment.

So how much is it? You won't believe how incredibly cheap this book is, it's just #500 for the first persons to order between now and December 31st. By January 2018, the actual price goes for #1,000 only. For Non-African countries, it sells for 3 dollars .

To get a copy of this ebook, you can go to www.askseunoladele..com for details. Once payment is made, you will get the book within 24 hours. Cheers!
askseunoladele@gmail.com

WHY CAN'T YOU MARRY A SINGLE MOTHER?

Some men say they can never marry a lady who has had a child outside wedlock. They call them "Ajeku" and "After One" yet they are the same men who run after innocent girls, defile them and deny responsibility for the pregnancy.
Some men have no shame!

If you don't want a single mother, stick to your decision but what makes a woman a great wife is not whether she has had a child or not. Countless ladies have had abortions yet no child before wedding. They look so clean yet rotten inside. Women who chose to have the babies should be respected and honoured not for the mistakes they made but the courage they showed.

They feared God and valued another life than commit murder and save their faces from shame. They are God fearing and compassionate. Two major qualities needed in a wife. I pity men who allow senseless ego make them miss God's perfect will for their lives. God doesn't use someone's past to pick a spouse for them, he looks at your future and pick the person who is most suitable to help you fulfil your destiny! I have seen men who had nothing but moved into untold wealth after marrying their wives -a single mother who was used and abandoned in her past!

Single mothers make great wives as well as God fearing ladies. It is our character that determines how we enjoy our marriage not whether we make mistakes in the past or had no previous sexual experience.

The world has even gone upside down. Deception is the order of the day! Some ladies now use hymen kit/pills that make them look like virgins on the wedding night. You will see the blood. She acts the painful part yet she has had countless abortions before she met her husband.

Go for character brother! Go for God's will! Go for the woman who genuinely loves you and will always be there no matter what.

A honest single mother is far better than an untruthful and deceitful single lady. Think about it! God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele 2016, revised, edited, reposted, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

YOU MUST HAVE THAT SEX!

Prepare well for sex before you get married! You must have regular sex in marriage whether you feel like it or not. What? yeah! There are days heavens know you have no single libido left, hitting and pounding is the last thing at the back of your skull. Your whole body ache from head to toe and nothing you need badly at that moment like a sweet, sound sleep! Then hubby suddenly found you by his side, roves his eyes all over your body like freshly baked bread and wanna devour you like a sweet smelling sacrifice, what will you do? Have that sex of course!

A successful marriage involves two parties who constantly make sacrifice for each other. You don't joke with sex in marriage! Libido is not something you play with. Denying your spouse sex is playing with fire! You either give them the sex or watch your best friend impregnate your wife! It is a two way thing. As long as you are not sick or tired, you shouldn't deny your husband sex. As long as nothing is wrong with you physically, you shouldn't deny your wife sex.

Many singles think marriage is a place you can behave anyhow, that's childish! Marriage is not a place you act as you like, it is a place you act as you should!

Yes, your husband should understand you when you are sick and tired, understandable! Yes, your wife should give you a break when you are fatigued, understandable, but when it has to do with low desire and nothing else, you have to step up your desire or simply make sacrifice to accommodate your spouse!

Many men are starving their wives sex and wonder why she's running after men. Many women use lack of sexual desire to starve their husbands sex for weeks and months on end and wonders why he has an affair!

There are days both of you will have hot desire for sex and can't wait to pounce on each other, thank God for it and enjoy every bit of it, and there are days one of you just don't feel like it while the other is seriously burning, yearning, desiring, hungry and out rightly begging to have sex, make the sacrifice!

Singles, you need to prepare your mind to please your spouse and make them happy within your capacity. Genuine love seek the happiness of others!

I and hubby don't joke with this area of our lives. Heavens know I like sex with hubby. That thing is just plain delicious and I always look forward to the next episode, I can't do without it in a week but there are days (rare though) the libido goes down below zero and no single desire to be touched, talk less of sex, I still respond to my lover and hubby never takes it for granted. He is extra-ordinarily tender and appreciates me profusely after.

There are days hubby just don't feel like it; very busy, lots of things on his mind, tired or needing rest, yet, he wouldn't say no. Once he finds me restless, he calms me down and I keep saying thank you every time I have the opportunity to do so.

Yes, rest whenever you need to. Understand when your spouse needs rest and allow them to rest or recover from the illness but when it is becoming a habit to stay off sex just because you don't feel like it while your spouse is almost burning to death, you need to review that attitude. May the Lords grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

DON'T TOUCH IT!

If you think sexual temptation ends the day you get married, you are seriously joking. Sexual temptation begins with full force after marriage!

There are days you will be so Hot and no one to download your hormones on. Hubby has either travelled or wifey is sick, heavily pregnant, just had a baby or heavily menstruating, so no network, what do you do, masturbate?

No! Don't touch your genitals! Masturbation is not allowed for anybody including married couples. You must learn self control by fire, by thunder, by force! That is why we encourage singles to "hold body" till marriage. If you lack self control as a single lady or man, you won't automatically have it in marriage! If you must disobey God and fornicate because you are burning with red hot sexual desire threatening to set you ablaze, you will still disobey God when your sexual urge is burning all your veins and wifey/hubby is not around to help you douse it!

When you masturbate, you keep the picture of your spouse in mind right? May be! If God will show some wives what their husbands are thinking in the dark or whenever she is not around, she may want to scatter his brain with a supernatural AK 47! Some wives too fantasize, but being a deaconess in church won't let you know she has slept with almost all the members of the church in her mind!

We all must learn self control, married or single! Masturbation is a sin for everybody. It encourages dirty acts, dirty thoughts, dirty desires and eventually affairs and adultery. Masturbation is the younger brother of adultery, it's not fully satisfying, you will one day look for a mistress/man to have sex with when your spouse is not around!

To think men/ladies will not have sexual interest in you after marriage is to be naive! I used to think that way too until I started meeting men who directly or indirectly told me me they wouldn't mind sharing me with my husband. I had to end my relationship with them with speed!

I do not have any male friend who will send me to hell! My husband is the only male and best friend I have now, in fact, I have no single male friend at all! I put an end to any relationship that will distract me with speed!

Bottom line, "walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh" (Gal. 5:16). That is the best cure I know to sexual temptation any day, any time. Stay blessed!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
askseunoladele@gmail.com

CAN A UNIVERSITY GRADUATE MARRY AN ILLITERATE OR A SCHOOL DROP-OUT?

You must talk in marriage. There is no basis marrying someone who can't grasp what you tell them, finds it difficult reading your love letters, does not understand why a human being will wear tie and will kneel in the middle of the express road to greet you! Okay! That's an extreme, the point is, no sense in marrying someone you can't communicate with, take to social functions and whose spoken English drives you mad whether a graduate or not!

What you need in marriage is mental compatibility not just a certificate. There are men and women whose dressing, spoken English and attitude do not show they passed through the four walls of a classroom talk less of graduating from a university and there are secondary school leavers who are far more mature, smarter, more intelligent, mentally alert, efficient and competent than some university graduates! The point is, marry someone whose intelligence, social maturity, mental prowess and communicating ability wows you whether graduate or not. Marry a man or woman you are mentally, socially and emotionally compatible with!

However, education has trained you to talk, behave, respond and act in a particular way and you need someone with similar trait to flow with or else there will be traffic jam in your day to day interaction with your spouse!

Some desperate single ladies have been asking me if it's okay to marry a man of lower educational qualification or a semi-illierate in order to get married as age is no longer on their side yet they are having serious trouble communicating and understanding each other in courtship. Some even claim such union is God's will. The New International Version of Genesis 2:18 says "it is not good for a man to be alone, I will create a helper SUITABLE for him." Your helper must suit you, if they are not suitable, it is satan's will, not God's will, back out before you get damaged and broken forever!

Some women are going through serious mental, physical, social, psychological abuse by husbands who think they are rude and un submissive because of their high education. A counsellee went through that hell! Her husband was not only verbally and emotionally abusing her, he also beat her blue black because he felt she was rude to him. She couldn't help correcting him because she felt he was crude, crass and did things that were socially unacceptable! He lacked simple courtesy and etiquette. The guy could not change because that is who he is, yet she claimed he was God's will for her. Amos 3:3 says, "Can two walk together except they agree?" If the man is not as educated or socially mature as you are, you will not be able to respect him and abuse is the end result!

There are men who hide their wives! They can't take them to social functions for fear of being embarrassed. They will rather travel with their female colleague, secretary or a mistress to international conferences than go with a woman who is mentally laid back and physically ancient! Many men in that shoe are seriously having affairs! The rich among them have second wives who are far younger, more educated and socially compatible than the wives at home. Never marry a man who is ashamed of you in public!

There are people who like to go to school to further their education but circumstances and finance prevented them yet they are smart, mentally sound and hard working. They constantly invest in personal development, read good books, attend seminars, symposiums, conferences etc and would jump at furthering their education if an opportunity presents itself. A university graduate can marry such a person as they have the potential to match up. You can help them financially get back to school before or after marriage so they can match up with you.

Education is for life. You can't throw your books away because you are now a graduate.

Marriage is a school on its own. You must constantly educate yourself and read good books if you must succeed in it. Even if you have e doctorate degree in human relations and your spouse is a professor of public relations, you still need to read good books on relationships and marriage to succeed in it. If educational compatibility were enough, most educated couples won't be divorced today!

Invest in personal development. It will help you a lot.

Marry someone who agrees with you socially. They dress and carry themselves in a refined, dignified manner.

Marry someone mentally compatible. They easily understand you and flow in your discussion and communication with them.

Marry someone you will be proud of and not ashamed to introduce to people. May the good Lord grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.

askseunoladele@gmail.com

THAT GUY IS NO MORE INTERESTED IN YOU!

Why do ladies like to suffer heart breaks before they learn a simple lesson and move on? Don't attach yourself to a man who is obviously no longer interested in you or has put a full stop to your relationship with him. Here are the signs that guy is no longer interested and wants to dump you:

1. HE'S AVOIDING YOU: A man doesn't joke with his time and money. He won't waste his time on anything that won't profit him. If he feels there is nothing to gain in your relationship or he doesn't see you in his future. He starts avoiding you. Get the signal and move back.

2. HE STOPS PICKING YOUR CALLS: No more explanation.

3. HE ALWAYS ABUSES AND INSULTS you anytime you are with him. He is fed up, your presence drives him crazy. He is enduring you, he doesn't want to see you anymore.

4. HE SHAMELESSLY FLIRTS: get the signal. He wants you to get jealous and get out of his life.

5. USE A LADY'S PICTURE AS HIS PROFILE PICTURE: She's not a relative and who is she? A new flame, a new found love? He is double dating, dump him!

6. HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU ANY MORE and what the hell are you doing in the relationship?

7. HE STARTS DEMANDING FOR SEX. Some ladies are very stupid! In fact, extremely stupid! Any woman with half a brain knows that when a man hits you for sex, he doesn't value you one bit. He threatens to end the already dead relationship if you don't give him sex and you are shaking like a leaf? Chai! Don't you have any single value for yourself? Tell that lustful guy to get out of your life if he can't wait for sex. Dump him with speed!

8. HE COMPARES YOU WITH HIS EX: he should go right ahead and marry his ex if he misses her seriously.

9. HE ACCUSES YOU OF THINGS YOU DIDN'T DO and wouldn't listen to explanations. So what are you still doing there? My friend, end that relationship!

Listen, your life is not defined by a man. Don't hang your dignity somewhere and roll in the dust because you want to get married.

Don't allow any man rubbish you. Don't allow men treat you like a pile of shit. Treat yourself with respect and dignity. Develop the spirit of discernment to know who you are to marry so you won't be going into wrong, abusive relationships and be suffering unnecessary heartbreaks!

Work on your brain so you can think with it. Work with your hands so you can earn your own money. Work on your body and look fabulous so you won't think you are ugly and any man who wanna marry you does you a favour!

Hey, know thy worth! You are a favour carrier! Any man who is fortunate enough to marry you automatically marries favour! "He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord!" When a man knows the moment you enter his life, his fortune has emerged, he will treat you like gold. Are you gold? Men will treat you the way you treat yourself.

Yes Don't be proud, arrogant or rude! Be humble but add dignity, sound self esteem, fire proof self worth and rock hard value to yourself. Men will treat you like gold.

May you not end up with the wrong man. In Jesus name. Love you loads. Kisses!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

DATING VERSUS COURTSHIP, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?

Can a Christian date? This is a controversial topic here in Nigeria because of our religious setting and lots of singles are very confused when it comes to this game of love and picking the right partner.

Personally, I see nothing bad in dating as long as it is not abused. Dating is simply a process of finding out if your friend is suitable for a long term relationship (marriage) with you while courtship is a relationship based on a formal agreement to marry each other after the man had proposed and the woman has accepted. For courtship to exist, the man tells you CLEARLY (not beating around the bush) in whatever style that suits him (definitely not during sex that is not marriage proposal it is insanity) that he wants to marry you and you clearly said YES, courtship begins on that note. From the moment forward, you separate each other from others and know you have a committed relationship with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Dating however, is picking one out of your friends. (Actually, you should marry one of your friends, your BEST FRIEND), you spend time with them, take them out, study them and try to find out if both of you are compatible and suitable for marriage, if not, you let them go.

HERE IS THE CAUTION:

1. DATING IS NOT FOR TEENAGERS: doing boyfriend and girlfriend is not dating at all. You are not trying to find out if you can marry them. Marry? You should be facing your studies for crying out loud. You are simply exploring your feelings which is not stable yet, admiring their physical features, get aroused sexually, have sex and move to someone else. Nothing serious to talk about except look into each others eyes and say sweet nothings that contributes absolutely nothing to your future.

2. NO SEX. There is no basis for that. You have no commitment to this person. They can choose to walk out of your life without any apology. There is no formal agreement between both of you to spend the rest of your life together.

3. ONLY 50% OR LESS OF YOUR HEART IS INVOLVED: No commitment, you are not yet in a formal relationship. Lots of ladies suffer heart breaks giving 100% of their hearts to a man who is just finding out if he will marry them. They thought they are courting because he takes them out. Come on baby, you can't assume for a man, until he clearly asks you to marry him and you accept his proposal, he can walk out of your life, any day, any time.

4. DON'T DOUBLE-DATE, IT'S WRONG. Lots of singles are even double courting. They don't want to put all their eggs in one basket to avoid being hurt. It is a sign of immaturity and unfaithfulness. You have the potential to commit adultery in marriage.

There are different schools of thought when it comes to dating especially for Christians. Some believe, dating is testing God. It's better you wait for God to expressly tell you whom you are to marry, while you as a lady shouldn't be involved with any guy, just ask God if any opposite sex who comes to you is God's will. If you are lucky he is the one, you start courting and the courtship must not be more than 6 months then you get married. While it is good to hear God and you MUST hear God before you marry someone, this method makes a relationship so dry and marriage so boring and unromantic. It is one of the reasons so many marriages of Christian couples lack romance and genuine intimacy.

To have a healthy relationship in marriage, you should have good, godly, platonic, holy relationship with both genders: your same sex friends and opposite sex friends. Friendship with the opposite sex will help you understand the opposite gender before you get married, it helped me a lot.

One of your friends may later give you more attention, spend more time with you, prefers you above others, compliment you a lot, tell you things they like about you that makes you different, fall in love with you (dating), prays about you to know if you are the one, you pray about it to know if they are God's will for you. If he is not God's will, dating ends, if he is God's will, you accept the marriage proposal and courtship begins.

There are different meaning, interpretations and presentations of dating. Just as there are godly and ungodly courtship, there are godly and ungodly dating. Dating in itself is not bad, it is the way people go about it that makes it look bad.

All in all, do what you are comfortable with. If you believe in dating, date wisely and purely, if you are not, wait till you get a signal from heaven before you go ahead with the person.

All in all, God's will is the ultimate. Pray for God's will before you marry anybody and don't marry blindly, you must ask questions and find out if both of you are compatible before you say I do. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHEN A MAN CRIES...

Men also cry, they just don't shed the tears. He may not break down and weep but he will show his frustration through anger, rage or violence (of course these acts are not acceptable). Understand that when your man shows these attitude, he needs plenty of affection, love and understanding.
Men also yearn deeply for affection, they just don't talk about it.

Nothing makes a man feel useless like lack of money and inability to impregnate or have sex successfully with a woman- his wife, don't use this against him. He may not show the tears, but his anger, rage and violence will speak louder than his voice.

Never cheat on your guy, don't dump him for a rich man, you will regret it especially if he is a good guy but struggling at present financially. If you are comfortable with him and he is hardworking with a bright future ahead of him, support him till he breaks through, he will forever cherish you!

Never make jest of your husband's inability to last long in bed. Men are embarrassed by and ashamed of pre-mature ejaculation. Make research and lovingly suggest ways both of you can enjoy sex better.

Never ever beg for money from men behind your husband. You naked him and make him feel completely useless and empty.

Don't have sex with another man because of money. You have killed your husband completely. Nothing is as agonizing as discovering your wife had sex with another man while you are still alive, it's more painful than death.

Men beat wives who hurt, damage and shatter their ego to pieces with their tongue! Do not push your husband to beat you. Hold your tongue or excuse yourself if you may say something that will land you in the hospital.

Rage, aggression and domestic violence are not acceptable in any relationship. Men must learn to control their negative emotions. Under no circumstances should you ever raise your hand on a woman. No reason is justifiable for assault! We all must learn self control and treat one another with respect.

Start understanding your man today. You will be glad you did. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHY YOU CAN'T ENJOY SEX....

One in every five girls has been touched, tampered with, caressed, fondled, molested or raped before the age of 20. This makes marriage so complicated for many women as they find it difficult enjoying sex in marriage or joyfully release their bodies for sex to their husbands.

If your wife is having serious sexual issues: not showing interest in sex, becoming frigid, not reaching orgasm no matter how hard you try, gets angry or mad at you when you ask for sex, fights you during sex, experiences unnecessary pain during intercourse, cries herself to sleep after sex or give all manner of excuses from having sex, 7 days a week or 30 days a month and she is neither sick nor tired, it's time to sit your darling down and talk heart to heart with her. She's having serious issues with her sexuality. It's not about you really, it's about her and she needs help not abuse, not screaming, not yelling, not threatening to have an affair, none of those! She may have gone through the trauma of abuse, rape or molestation in her childhood.

Flash back of that horrible incident keep flashing through her mind each time you ask for sex. When she remembers, she gets terrified, afraid, angry, mad, and fights for survival, yes fighting you off to fight the pain. It's not about you, she doesn't hate you or rejecting you, it's about that past. You may say "why can't she forget it once and for all? It's not easy to get over a trauma, no matter how long it has happened, she needs help and she needs healing.

Ask your fiancee about her past even if she is a virgin to know how to help her heal in marriage incase she has gone through any trauma.

Millions of Nigerian women have gone through abuse. We just don't talk about it to avoid rejection, shame and condemnation! Many virgins likewise have been touched, fondled, semi penetrated, forcefully kissed and almost raped! The only proof of their virginity is their hymen which by God's mercies alone have not been torn! These set of women also need healing or may have serious sexual issues in marriage.

Healing will take God and will take time. Don't force your wife if she is so terrified of sex, you are compounding her problem with another rape! Instead, put your arms around her and comfort her. Let her know you understand her struggles, withhold sex till she's ready. She strongly need your support, understanding and unconditional love till she gets healed.

You can't starve your husband forever though. You need to get over the trauma. You must keep telling yourself it is in the past and the past is gone forever. Always picture the good qualities of your husband and tell yourself he's not like those men who molested you.
Tell yourself you have a great, loving, tender, caring, husband. Thinking about his qualities will help you grow fond of him and desire to be physically intimate with him. Focus on his features that attracts you a lot, they will pull you to him. If some sex styles makes you remember the rape/molestation, like the missionary, you may try another style that put you in control and not reminds of the past molestation.

Go for counselling or therapy if the situation is getting out of hand and it's seriously affecting your marriage.

Pray to God daily, ask Him to heal you and He will. Do not judge, hate or condemn yourself. The rape is not your fault.

May the healing balm of Gilead heal you of every pain, shame and hurt in Jesus' name. I love you so very dearly. Take my sisterly hug... God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

DANGEROUS GAMES MARRIED PEOPLE PLAY

They think they are having fun but they are sitting on a time bomb. Here are the things married people do that shatter marriages to pieces:

1. FLIRTING: calling your neighbour "sweetheart", chasing small girls all over the street, wearing skimpy clothes while your husband's friends are around are things that stir hot, murderous jealousy that eventually leads to the demise of a once upon blissful marriage.

2. KEEPING SECRETS . No one likes surprises, not your spouse either. It is not fun when your husband finds out you have a child out of wedlock or you once dated and slept with his best friend. It is a shocker if your wife opens your mail and sees messages from your ex. These shatters trust beyond repair. Only God can help that marriage thenceforth.

3. POOR HYGIENE : Oh, it's easy to think "it doesn't matter, my spouse understands." Most women don't wake up until they see their spouse deeply enmeshed in affair. There is no excuse for body and mouth odour in marriage. Couples should learn to respect their spouse and present a clean body to them. It works.both ways. Men should also step up in this area. A smelling mouth and unkempt armpit plus the one down there is a huge turn off.

4. DEBT: Big issue. Good debts go into the business, bad debts go into the stomach and other people's pockets. Copying the Joneses and living far above your income is a sure recipe for marital disaster.

5. GETTING FAT . If your spouse loves it, fine, if he doesn't then correct it. Using childbirth, contraceptives and hereditary as an excuse won't make your spouse see you as sexy. They may feel guilty for complaining, swear to God they love you "perfectly" the way you are but deep down they resent that fat and easily get attracted to ladies/ men who have the features you have buried beneath the massive flesh.

6. PRAYERLESSNESS: Prayer works. Nagging kills. Someone says "Tell your spouse his best and tell God his worst." In other words, it takes God's intervention to break some destructive habits in your spouse. Not that they don't want to change, they just found themselves helpless.

7. PORNOGRAPHY is a number one killer of sexual fulfillment in marriage. It leads to unrealistic expectations, masturbation and premature ejaculation. Men addicted to these pictures/movies often expect their wives to perform like the porn stars and handle them like animals in bed. They also ejaculate early leaving the woman unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

Read my post on HOW TO SLEEP WITH A WOMAN. It will help you a great deal.

8. COMPARISON : It's okay to admire that cute guy at work, just keep that to yourself and don't expect your spouse to walk, talk and think like him. Men who compare their wives to their ex or mothers are digging their marital
grave.

9. ROUTINE creates boredom. Same food, same underwear, same sex position year in year out kills romance and passion faster than anything else. Spice up your marriage and give it some life.

10. AFFAIRS . This is a big one. The moment another man sleeps with or you have sex with another woman, your marriage qualifies for divorce. There is no excuse for extra marital affairs. Avoid it like plague.

Work on your marriage, give it your best shot, do all you can to make it work because YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK .God has given you that power, use it and see your marriage transform before your very eyes. You will succeed.

Watch out for my ebook next week on dealing with lies that shatter marriages to pieces! This book is powerful! You are going to learn good communication skill in marriage, open heart to heart talk with your fiance/fiancee in courtship. How to pick the right man/woman for your life. Restore your ailing marriage, deal with emotional and sexual affairs, cancel your divorce, have your EX back and enjoy heaven on earth in your marriage. This book is loaded. You can't afford to miss it! God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

IT'S MY FAULT

If couples will learn to stop blaming each other and take 100% responsibilities for their successes and failures in life, all marriages will be heaven on earth and there will be no single case of divorce recorded any where on earth!

Irresponsibility is the leading cause of divorce world -wide. You screamed at your husband not because he abused you really but because you have issues with anger. No matter how angry you are with a mad man with a sharp machete in hand, you will never challenged him to a duel, your anger automatically cools and you become rational immediately! That is a sign you can control your anger! You were mad at your husband not because of what he did really but because you lack control over your emotions, you lack self control. You lack, the ability to act rational in the face of pressure. Anger does not solve any problem, it only compounds it. Face this truth, deal with your personal issues and accept responsibility for your failures.

You had an affair with that lady not because your wife starves you sex really, you had the affair because you have issues with lust. You do not know how to make your wife enjoy sex with you, you do not love her enough, you lack good communication skill in your marriage. You are selfish. You think about your needs first at the detriment of others'need. You damned the consequence of your decision, went right ahead to have multiple sex partners and chose to break your wife's heart to pieces. Face this reality: you are immature, selfish and lack self control. Mature men deal with their issues, not run into the arms of another woman. Great husbands are not cowards!

Enough of blame shifting! Enough of malice! Enough of all these fight! Enough of domestic violence! Enough of scandal, separation and divorce! Let's all learn to deal with our personal issues before it is too late. Let us stop blaming our spouses for our personal problems! Let us all learn to be humble. Swallow your pride! Learn to ask for forgiveness whenever you go wrong. Learn to say,"honey, it's my fault, I shouldn't have spoken to you that way". Stop the affair sir. Put your arms around your wife and say sincerely, "Honey, I was selfish and lack self control, please forgive me. I will do anything in my power to make this marriage work henceforth." Put your phone on speaker, call your mistress and tell her it's over, you are working on your marriage henceforth. Apologize sincerely to your wife and turn a new leaf.

Humble yourself ma. Tell yourself the truth. You have personal issues and you are dumping your emotions on your spouse. Ask for forgiveness. You really need to repent from your attitude. You were rude, proud, arrogant, saucy, abusive, critical, judgmental and harsh not because of what they did really but because that is who you are and you need to deal with it.

Oh, how will it be if every husband can be humble to their wives? How beautiful will it be if all wives will be humble towards their husbands?

How sweet will it be if we all accept responsibility for our failures and short comings and stop blaming our spouses for our bad attitude and ill manner, it will be heaven on earth.

Your marriage can take a new turn today. Please, show this to your spouse. Share it to their timeline. Copy along with © Seun Oladele, 2017 and send to them on whatsapp. Sit your spouse down tonight. Let them tell you things you have done that hurt them that you are not even aware of. Tell them ways they have really hurt you too..."confess your sins to one another and pray for one another...." (James 5:16). Hug, kiss and make up.

Your marriage will not fail in Jesus name. I love you so much. God bless you, cheers!
©Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

VIRGINITY

Virginity is not an old school mentality, it is an eternal mentality. It is a very rare treasure that singles should protect with every ounce of their blood. It holds numerous benefits and if you are fortunate to still have yours, CONGRATULATIONS!

1. It builds your self-esteem. Illicit sex destroys self-esteem faster than anything else.

2. You succeed easily.You are not distracted by the thoughts of the guys who have used you and dumped you or haunted by the thought of the ladies whose hearts you have broken, battered and shattered!

3. You preserve your glory. People who give their virginity to the wrong men/women have to claim
it back with tears.

4. You are bold, audacious, attractive and desirable.

5. Your husband/wife will honour you.

6. It builds your spouse's trust till forever. Regardless of what the media says, Captain Ekehinde will never divorce his wife. Actress Omotola Jolade Ekehinde married as a virgin. When a woman lied against Dr. Ben Carson that he had a sexual affair with her which resulted in a child, no one believed her. His wife was the ONLY woman he ever slept with in his entire life. He married as a virgin!

7. You will enjoy marital sex.You have never had previous experience any where and there is no one to compare your spouse with. You also climax easily (don't ask me for details). As a man, you last long in bed and make sex very enjoyable for your wife.

8. You are free from guilt, shame and regret. Illicit sex is a stigma no amount of tears can wash.

9. You are free from soul tie and demonic invasion through illicit sex.

10. God is happy with you...

11. There you go honey, keep it, guard it, protect and don't allow some lusty little demon up the pit snatch it from you. It's your pride, guard it with care. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele.
www.askseunoladele..com

UNDRSTANDING A MAN'S NEED FOR SEX

I don't know why some women are very happy when they want to collect money from their husbands but when it comes to sex, they automatically become frigid and look like they've been sentenced to death by torture!

Some women can't just understand why their husbands become restless when he needs sex. I listen to women who call their husbands all sort of derogatory, debasing, low down names because he wants sex daily or three days a week! Yet she's the first to scream all men are dogs at the top of her lungs when the man looks for sex else where there by leading innocent young ladies astray!

Listen ladies, a man is wired to need sex and becomes restless around you till he has that sex. I'm talking about sex in marriage. Only prostitutes have sex with yellow, black and white in exchange for money. You are not a prostitute so zip up till you get married!

Your husband is not an animal! He is not a dog! He is not carnal neither has he backslidden! He is created to want sex, need sex, get hungry for sex, yearn for sex and become restless till he finds expression in you! You must understand this and release your body with joy whenever he needs you, that is what marriage is about.

Your body is no longer yours, it is his likewise his body belongs to you. That is why you need knowledge, you can't be ignorant and have a good marriage, it is not possible! Thank God for my dear husband's article yesterday on KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, it teaches us to get adequate knowledge about marriage before we suffer unnecessary hardship for life!

The way some women complain about sex is making so many men feel unnecessarily guilty and abnormal. One young married man asked me why men become desperate when they need sex, I simply told him, because he is wired that way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him -NOTHING!

Single ladies, prepare for marriage with the mind to please your husband with your body. Don't mind some women who claim sex is painful, boring or all those negative stuff that gets me angry. Sex is sweet, okay? Orgasm is the greatest pleasure your husband can give you! When you satisfy your husband sexually, he will treat you with tenderness and affection. My husband treats me like his greatest treasure on earth!

Sex three days a week won't kill you likewise sex 7 days a week. Some men have it once a week, while some prefers twice. It depends on the kind of man you marry. If you pray well, God will give you a man whose libido matches yours!Trust me, if you understand your body well and you marry a man who genuinely loves you and knows how to make you enjoy sex, you will want to have sex every single day of your life! I don't know why women are running away from sex, this thing is sweet, abeg! Once I started enjoying sex, I looked forward to it every time! I don't mind having it daily (I follow my husband's schedule though). It is God's blessing and should be enjoyed not endured.

Word of caution here: SEX IS STRICTLY FOR THE MARRIED. If you try it outside marriage, you will regret it for the rest of your life. 100% guaranteed!!!

So my ladies, let's work on our mindset please. Your greatest sexual organ is your brain, work on it. Reject all the lies the devil tells you about your husband. See the good in him, see God in him and celebrate him with your body. Have sex whenever you can with him, both of you will be happier for it and your marriage will move to a new level of bliss.
Love you always! Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

MEN OF GOD OR MEN OF LUST?

The alarming rate at which so many men of God shamelessly flirt, have affairs or sleep around is alarming! How do I start recounting stories of girls, ladies, young and married women lured, seduced, raped, impregnated and aborted for? My counselling sessions is filled with unbelievable stories of girls deflowered, manipulated, slept with and dumped! How can I start recalling stories of men of God who'd go somewhere to minister and end up rolling in sheets with daughters of Jezebels? Some are even sleeping with their daughters!

A man of God was ministering to Pastors and he made a call, that if there is any Pastor who has slept with his daughter should come out for prayer. It was not a call for adultery, it was a call for INCEST! Almost 200 Pastors came out! At a programme for young ladies, an altar call was made of anyone who has ever slept with her dad, over 500 girls came out, some of them were children of Pastors, Elders, Deacons, Bishops, Prophets or whatever! Something is seriously wrong somewhere!

Seeing men of God as untouchable celestial beings to avoid the wrath of God makes things worse! People are afraid to correct their Pastors because the Bible says "Touch not mine anointed and do my prophet no harm." That is, if he is anointed by God and he is God's prophet.

All manner of jobless people are now jumping into the church, blow off charisma for few weeks and become a Pastor within the twinkle of an eye. Being a Pastor seems the latest lucrative business! There are people who have no single relationship with God yet are becoming Pastors while naive, simpleton church members cling to their every word, shut their senses and become zombies! They do everything the man of satan ask them to do including stripping them naked and having sex with them! If any man of God ask you to do anything contrary to the word of God, do your 2 and 2 run for your destiny!

So many Pastors today are not called. They send themselves on errand with self acclaimed titles! They love being worshipped and like satan make themselves God in people's hearts. There are others who are genuinely called but got distracted along the way. The honour, respect, awe, adoration, reverence and worship people show them make them lose their senses and abuse the office of the Pastor especially those who have prophetic gifts. Because people cling to their prophesy without thinking, they start adding a little lie, a little manipulation, a little seduction until they become full blown liars and adulterers!

Don't get carried away by the honour people show you. Focus on God, remain humble and keep holy. You are there by grace and "shall we continue to sin that grace may abound?" Of course not!

Women, open your brain! Don't shut it when you sight a man or woman of God. Whenever I'm ministering, people tend to see me as a spotless angel who makes no single mistake. I am carried like a demi-god that must be worshipped and that makes me cringe! It creates a holy fear in me and run back to God for safety. When people see you as a God and you begin to act like one you have already fallen from grace! Soon, you will be thrown down from your throne and end up publicly disgraced. Remain humble, holy and truthful. Represent God in all truthfulness and do not take innocent women for granted.

Yes, there are Jezebels who are out there to destroy you. It is your fault if you sleep with them. God has given you all the tools you need to overcome. You are not a brainless spiritual weakling who become numb at the sight of a demon possessed woman and sleep with her. All these excuses I hear that women are seducing Pastors that's why they fell make me wonder whether they have Jesus in their lives. The Bible says "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!" Is satan greater than the God in you? Why should he overcome you? Why should he make you fall flat into adultery? If lust is not already in your heart, you won't do it.

Women of God also face sexual temptation! There are countless men who won't mind sleeping with you. If satan can't successfully use an unbeliever, he can use a believer or fellow ministers so be on the alert! Cut off any unwanted attention, affection and alliances! The Bible says, "Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life." Don't say it doesn't matter till you lose your reputation and integrity.

Young ladies and married women, be careful. Don't take any Pastor as your personal God or walking Bible. Married women should not obey their Pastors to the point of disobeying their husbands to please them. Respect your Pastor but Obeying God and honouring the word is the ultimate.

Don't visit a man of God if his wife is not at home. Don't cook for him, wash his clothes and take care of his children. Stop rendering unwanted home services! Stop helping him sweep his bedroom and lay his bed. What are you doing there for God's sake? Are you his wife? May the Lord grant you understanding.
God bless you. Cheers!
©Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHEN THERE IS NO MONEY...

A virtuous woman is never a waster. She knows how to manage resources! She knows how to maximize the little she has while praying for open doors for her husband.

Marriage goes through seasons: the season of abundance, the season you have to manage and the season there is nothing!

You may marry a man working in an oil company with loads of cash to waste. The day he loses the job is the day you realize, life isn't a one way traffic. And you may marry a man struggling on a 20k salary who suddenly wins a contract worth millions or get a highly paying job with perks, company car and more! Learn to handle each season with wisdom.

Don't be a waster lady! Learn to save, learn to invest, learn to keep money. Learn to manage resources.

Be versatile, be flexible, be an all rounder. Know how to cook a delicious soup with #300 as well as #3000. There are women who completely break down and turn to pathetic failures when their husbands experience a financial down turn. Instead of managing the little they have while praying and trusting God for financial breakthrough, the woman runs back to her dad/brothers or uncle for help there by exposing and disgracing her husband. some women even sleep around because they cannot manage the little their husband has.

To marry with the hope that you will always have everything you want to the point of wasting resources is to live in a fool's paradise. To everything there is time and season.

There are seasons you will eat turkey, chicken, catfish, bush meat, goat meat, and have food stocked everywhere in your house and there are seasons you will make do with panla, ponmo and sawa. Thank Jesus for every season and maintain a good attitude towards your spouse.

There are seasons you will buy clothes every year and there are seasons you will manage the ones you have. There are also seasons you will have to manage bend down select and there are seasons, you will be ordering for clothes from Italy. To everything there is time and season.

Maintain a positive attitude anywhere you find yourself. Your attitude determines your altitude in life. Don't abuse your husband. Don't disgrace him. Don't compare him with neighbours, your ex, your dad or brothers. Rather encourage him, support him and pray for him. Be a gracious and grateful person. Be positive minded, be a virtuous woman.

May the good Lord give you the wisdom, grace and strength to be a true wife and mother worth celebrating, emulating and appreciating in Jesus' name. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com