₦airaland Forum

LAZY HUSBANDS

A lazy husband is a pain in the neck. I mean this guy won't do anything for the family. He's at home all day watching movies while the woman is labouring under the sun to provide for the family and he must eat 3 times a day! He won't even assist the woman with house chores!

This type of men give all manner of excuses for not exercising their bones. They tell you they have one business deal they are still processing and for 5 good years, nothing has come out of the business deal or he tells you he is a full time Pastor whose office is his sitting room and the television is his church members! He hates stretching his legs and you will never catch him helping his wife around the house, to him that is "unmanly." May the Lord comfort wives in this situation, it is not fun marrying this type of man, I tell you!

If you are married to this type of man, you need to talk. You are not mother Theresa, you can't carry the weight alone. Politely let him know the stress of carrying the family weight is telling on you and if he does nothing to assist, you may collapse -that is the truth, you may collapse. Lots of women die today from stress than anything else.

Ask him to help you around the house. If you do not ask, he may not know you need help. House chore is not a natural thing for men, you need to encourage them to do it.

Whenever he goes out to look for job and.brings nothing home, do not complain, appreciate his efforts and encourage him to keep searching.

If he volunteers to assist you at home, do not expect 100% perfection. He may not do things the way you do it but the fact that he.volunteered to help deserves an applause.

Avoid abusing, nagging and shouting at him, he will only prove more stubborn and do nothing.

Pray for him consistently. Handle him with wisdom. Men Like this, need plenty of wisdom and motivation from their wives or else they will do nothing. Ask God to help you. Read good books on marriage that helps you solve your problem. Seek counsel and help when necessary. You will not die in your marriage in Jesus' name.
God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2016. Revised, edited, 2017.
God bless.
www.askseunoladele..com

CAN YOU DIE FOR HER?

If you cannot die for any woman, please, don't get married. I'm not just talking about physical death, I am also referring to death of ego, pride, selfishness, impatience, stinginess and yes, physical death, when necessary. We are talking about reality here, not fantasies from Hollywood movies.

Jesus died for us. The peak of love is death, risk taking and selfless endeavors to give life to the one you love. Jesus said "A man lay down his life for his friends..." He wasn't a smooth talker/con artist, he prove it by dying on the cross for us. "Husbands, love your wife as Christ loves the church..."

A man who is truly ready for marriage must be prepared to lay down his life for his wife. You are ready to do everything and anything godly to make this woman into what God says she will be.

You are willing to kill all these vices in you: hot temper, lust, selfishness, pride, anger, hatred, unforgiveness, smoking, drinking, womanizing, laziness, idleness, etc to ensure this woman fulfils destiny. That is what it means to be a man. That is what it means to be a husband.

Love is not in theory, it is practical. Love is not just about buying flowers, going out on dates and saying sweet nothings to get her in bed. Love is praying for her, respecting her decision to stay chaste till marriage, being patient with her weaknesses, correcting her in love,working hard to provide for the family, enduring her flaws, making sacrifices to help her fulfil destiny.

" Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth]." (1 Cor 13:4-8 Amp.). That is love. Do you really love her?
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

I asked him that question last week with tears threatening to burst out of me, I was so overwhelmed by his love. He gives me far too much than what I deserve. "I don't know..." was his tender loving reply. It's been twelve years of knowing him yet he still treats me with so much love, tenderness and great care.

Ask that guy why he loves you. If it is your beauty, the love will die the day that beauty disappears. Money? It will finish one day so will the love. Intelligence, popularity, fame, good connections or whatever are all
temporal.

The man you should say YES to is the one who loves you regardless. He accepts everything about you including your ugliness,
idiosyncrasies, flaws, weaknesses and stupidity.

He sees a bright future ahead of you and wants to contribute to make it happen. He loves you
for what to give, not what to get.

He stands behind you like the rock of Gilbrata and would not allow you to go when the storms of life try to snatch you from him. He is your God-sent to you.

Say YES to him, hold him fast and do not let him go...
You will not miss your God-ordained husband in Jesus' name.
© Seun Oladele, 2016. Revised, edited, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

21 LIES YOU'VE BEEN TOLD ABOUT MARRIAGE

1. Marriage is a necessary evil.
2. Finding the right man/woman is difficult.
3. Marriage is a burden.
4. Friendship is not necessary in marriage.
5. People change after marriage.
6. Sexual excitement dies off after the honeymoon.
7. Courtship is more enjoyable than marriage.
8. It’s okay to have sex before marriage.
9. Men are polygamous in nature so all men cheat in marriage.
10. Successful marriages happen by chance/luck.
11. Marriage is full of ups and downs.
12. Children are liabilities.
13. All women are stubborn and unreasonable in marriage.
14. Marriage cannot be sweet without money.
15. Courtship ends as marriage begins.
16. In-laws are evil and unloving.
17. Marriage is unpredictable.
18. Money scatters marriage.
19. Age only determines readiness for marriage.
20. You must have your baby 9months after wedding.
21. In Marriage it’s risky to tell your spouse everything.

See, your mentality is powerful! What you believe consistently is what will eventually happen to you. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he!" If you believe the lies of the devil that marriage is a burden, your marriage will crash! But if you believe marriage is sweet and it will make you a better person in every way (Eccl. 4:9-12), you will experience bliss unlimited! Whose report do you believe? God's word or the devil's lies? The choice is yours!
© Seun Oladele, 2016, revised, edited, re posted, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

I LIKE YOU BUT I DON'T LOVE YOU

It's very much possible to like someone and not love them one bit. I mean you have no romantic love for them: no chemistry, no deep connection, nothing except that they are good and you like them, no more, no less. It happens!

For a marriage to be blissful and fulfilling, yo must have 3 levels of love for your partner. First is AGAPE Love which you have for everyone. It is the type of love God instructs us to show our friends and enemies. Second is Phileo which is friendship love and the third is Eros which is the sexual love in marriage.

I do not support sex while courting but there should be a measure of chemistry in courtship. You should look forward to the day you will sleep with your spouse. That is on your wedding night of course but if you cringe at the thought of sleeping with them or you have no deep connection with them or you find it difficult revealing your deepest heart to them, enjoying their company and accepting them completely though you admire and respect them, you have expressed your like not your
love, please end that relationship.

Marriage is not by force. Marriage should be enjoyed and not endured and nothing makes
marriage more fulfilling like having your best friend as your spouse. That is what happens when you LIKE and LOVE your partner. That is the ideal marriage.

Don't just marry a person you like, marry the one you admire, respect and at the same time love them from the depth of your being...

I see you meeting your perfect soulmate soon. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2015. Edited and reposted September, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHY VIRGINS ARE BARREN AFTER MARRIAGE

Some one asked me, "why are virgins barren after marriage?" You mean all virgins or some virgins? Look, barrenness has nothing to do with virginity.

Anybody can have a delay, whether virgin or not. I've seen ladies who have their past with or without abortions unable to conceive likewise countless virgins getting pregnant at their first sex and some have to wait for months or years.

Some assert there are ladies who have had abortions, conceive immediately after marriage and have children while some virgins have to wait for years on end before they conceive and some do not even conceive at all. Like I said, delay has nothing to do with virginity and everything about the person whether virgin or not.

You have a lot to loose sleeping around before marriage (I won't go into details now) and nothing to lose marrying as a virgin so don't let anyone deceive you with stories that makes no sense.

Why then do some virgins experience delay?

1. TO PREPARE FOR AN UNCOMMON CHILD: Sometimes, when God wants to bring a great child, an uncommon destiny to the world, he allows the parents to go through delay so they can adequately prepare for that child and appreciate him when he comes. What we get easily, most times we don't appreciate. When something comes through your sweat and blood, you value it and give it your best.

Sometimes, women who give birth easily don't give their best to their children, they can have as many as they want and scatter their attention over them. Some do not have time for these children. Some just give them money and allow them to rot. Some do not care at all for their children, the kids wander aimlessly all over the streets like sheep without shepherd but when you have to wait to have one, you cherish him, give him your best, train him properly with discipline and ensures he fulfils destiny.

2. HYMEN NOT PROPERLY BROKEN: Some may be "virgin" years after marriage and may not know especially when the man knew next to nothing about sex, if there is still an obstruction (the hymen) to the womb, she will not conceive.

3. LOW SPERM COUNT: Sometimes, even most times, it's not the fault of the wife at all. The husband is the culprit with low sperm count, erectile dysfunction and other serious sexual problems.

Men who masturbate as singles are looking for serious trouble in marriage. Some men lose interest in sex marriage, some can't ejaculate in the wife as a result of heavy masturbation and some just plainly have weak sperm or low sperm count. The man as well as the woman must go for medical examination after a year of constant trying and she can't conceive.

4. WORRY AND ANXIETY: There are in-laws who can't wait for the bride to land in her marriage before demanding for pregnancy. If you are under duress and pressure to conceive immediately, that anxiety will destabilize your system and makes it difficult to get pregnant.

5. INCONSISTENT SEX: Not having sex when the woman is ovulating will delay pregnancy. 5 days after menstruation up to at least a 10 days after are very fertile days to get pregnant. Know about your body, know about ovulation. Get EVERY WOMAN and read.

6. SPIRITUAL ATTACK: Yes, some cases are not normal. You've done everything and you are not conceiving, you need serious prayers, you need the word, you need good books that will help you deal with your problem: read SUPERNATURAL CHILD BIRTH by Jackie Mize.

7. GENERATIONAL CURSES: Some people come from families where it is difficult to conceive. If you notice all the females in your family find it difficult getting pregnant, you are seriously dealing with curses and covenants.

These and more are the possible reasons anyone can have a delay whether virgin or not. That is why you need to thoroughly pray as a single person before you get married.

Marriage is not a joke, it is not a child's play. It is not for babies. It is for mature men and women who are ready to pull the bull by the horn, fight battles and win and go on to fulfil their marital destiny.

You will not be barren in Jesus' name. Every chain of delay and difficult childbirth is broken in the mighty name of Jesus. Feel free to share. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

NO SEX PLEASE!

Sex to a man is more than physical pleasure. Sex is conquest, it is an achievement of a sort; it is the affirmation of manhood. This may sound stupid and senseless to a woman but to a man it is not.

Withholding sex from a man makes you mysterious and strangely attractive. A man likes to overcome a challenge and CONQUER. Having sex with you is conquering you. If he does so before marriage, he loses the passion to pursue and chase you further because you do not give him anymore challenge. If you pressure him and he continues with the relationship he does so with less enthusiasm.and respect for you.

Delaying sex till marriage has its numerous benefits. Apart from avoiding unwanted pregnancy and AIDS, you develop a very healthy self esteem. Your face glow with pride and you help your man develop SELF CONTROL.

Women who give men sex in courtship do not know they are helping their men commit adultery in marriage. You have trained him to always get sex improperly at the wrong time because you feel he cannot hold it so when you marry and are heavily pregnant or just deliver your baby please don't be angry when.hubby runs after a mistress or caught making out with the maid.

The best place to be "conquered" is in marriage. Saving sex till the wedding night makes the man sees you as a highly valuable jewel worth having. I'm not just referring to virgins. Even if you 've had a terrible past, abortions or a child out of wedlock. FORGET THE PAST and save sex for the wedding night.

Let the man know the past was a mistake but now you know better. You are not going to cheapen yourself before any man anymore. If he accepts it fine, if not he is free to go. You are not a sexual machine. Any man who will marry you must accept your person not just your private part. You are not a intimacy gadget. You are a woman he needs to appreciate, love and value.

When you give your man sex on the wedding night, he has "conquered" you and there is look of pride in his eyes. That pride spread over to you and the result is a loving, trusting, peaceful and blissful marriage.

You are happy that your man owns you completely and he happy to be the one in charge of you. This is very crucial and basic in marriage. It is the foundation for trust, faithfulness and
commitment for life.

Learn to control your sexual urge and teach your man to control his as well. There is time for everything under the sun.
Feel free to share. God bless you, cheers!
©Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

THE SEX MANIAC!

There are women, married women who are going through hell in their marriages. Does the man beat them? Nay! Does he abuse them? Nay! Does he starve them or refuse to take care of them? No! What then is the problem? He wants sex often, every time, always and it is killing the woman. This is not a joke!

Some men are super charged sexually and eat it like food! Some want it 3 times in a day, some twice while some wants it every 2 hours, you wander whether the man has no job! Of course he does.

I hear stories of men who do it in the morning before going to work, rush home at break for another session then immediately they return in the evening and at night before they sleep. There was a full time Pastor who always have it like every 2 hours, that is 12 times per day; the woman lost weight seriously and you will think she was an AIDS victim.

What is wrong with having sex often? Nothing! Is the man a sex maniac? No. Is he possessed?
Why? He wants sex with his wife and there is nothing bad in wanting to sleep with one's wife.

The problem is sexual incompatibility and it starts from courtship where one partner is sexually aggressive and always wanted sex. Men like that threatens to end the relationship if you do not give them sex while the extreme ones rape their fiancees.

That is a big sign you are dealing with a man who has a huge sexual appetite and you either break the relationship if you know you can't cope in marriage or you ask them to wait for marriage and give your sex life all you've got.

Courtship is serious business. Discuss all aspects of your life including your sexual expectations before you say "I DO."

For women already married to men like this, you need to buckle up, pray for more grace and read good books that will help you satisfy your husband sexually.

For husbands, treat your wife like a human being and not a sexual machine. Respect her body, treat it with care and give her a break when she sincerely needs rest.

See sexual therapists or a family counsellor if the issue of sexual incompatibility continues. Adultery is not the solution to your problem. Pray to God to give you the wisdom to manage your sex drive. Feel free to share. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele.
www.askseunoladele..com

LEAVE HIS MISTRESS ALONE!

She is not your problem, winning your husband's love is the problem. Stop putting the cart before the horse and sit down with your homework.

Your husband fell in love with her because she does things you have stopped doing to him. She connects with him emotionally, understands him the way no human does, respects and adores him and passionately makes love to him while you are busy complaining, nagging, criticizing and condemning him to hell!

She is his solace and shelter from this life's storm and pains. Each time you give him headache, he runs to her and she sooths him with comforting words that reminds him of the healing balm of Gilead.

When you deny him sex for weeks and months on end, she eagerly opens up to him and makes love to him with all her breathe. She wasn't just lying there like a log of wood, no! She curls around him, passionately kisses him and goes crazy in bed: wild, hot, passionate and creative! Something you will never do in a million years!!!

Instead of threatening her and commanding her to leave your poor husband alone, why not do what she does and more, why not give your husband what she's giving him? If you do not do that but hope to keep him faithful because of your wedding ring and a piece of paper from the court, you are deceiving yourself. If you pressurize his mistress too much, he may eventually abandon you and marry her, face reality now before it is too late.

Work on your marriage! You can make your husband stay glued to you forever! Stop complaining, stop nagging, stop abusing, stop criticizing, stop condemning and start loving
like crazy! Love that guy like mad!

Praise him silly, make him the king of your palace. Learn how to make love! Read good books on passionate, creative love making! Learn to French-kiss, learn to romance, learn Mouth Action, learn different sex positions, learn to give every part of his body pleasure -that's your job as his wife.

Be there to sooth him when he is down, be the friend that ‘loveth’ at all times and don't forget to pray for him daily, it is more powerful than spell casting.

Women who love their husbands with abandon don't have any rival anywhere. You are his only focus, the apple of his eyes.

Leave his mistress alone and start working on.your marriage. When he is thoroughly satisfied at home, he will abandon his mistress for you. It is as simple as that. Shikenah!
©Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

MUST YOU FIGHT IN YOUR MARRIAGE?

After reading my article on YOU WILL NOT GET BORED in marriage yesterday, some said I was not being real. I seem to be living in cloud 9 and no good marriage exists without fighting and hullabaloo. One even claimed to be a marriage preacher/counsellor and he's been in the business of telling his mentees the "truth" about marriage for a long time.

The world's standard of marriage is none of my business, God's standard is my business. My neighbour's marriage is not my yardstick, God's word is my yardstick!

God originated marriage so I get instructions from Him. You can't be carnal and have a good marriage. It takes being holy, fully obeying the word to have a good marriage.

Must you fight your spouse? Must you keep malice? Must you cheat on your wife/husband? Must you have an affair? Must you steal and tell lies? Must you drink and smoke? These are what destroy marriages! Sin should be ABNORMAL to a born again Christian, holiness should be NORMAL to you. Fighting, abusing, criticizing, condemning your spouse, hatred and lust shouldn't be found in your life as a child of God talk less of unleashing all these vices on your spouse, these are what kill marriages!

The problem is people don't want to obey the word. They want to enjoy sin and still have a great marriage, how is that possible?

The Bible says "husband, love your wife like Christ loves the church...." Does Jesus abuse the church? Does he criticize, judge, condemn, fight, beat us and cheat on us? What else is the problem?
When you submit to the lordship of Jesus, does your relationship with him become bitter? Nay, it becomes sweeter. When a wife lovingly submits and a husband selflessly loves, the result is bliss. All fights are unnecessary, they are the result of selfishness and ungodliness!

Of course there is no perfect marriage, no perfect wife or husband exist, I've said that countless times. Everyone has weaknesses and we should work on on our weaknesses daily.

There are challenges in life, that is normal. You have misunderstanding with people including your boss at the office. I've written about that. (I don't know why some people enjoy listening to problems and tales of woe than focusing on bliss as God intended it in His word), all these shouldn't make us misbehave and treat our spouse wrongly. I used to wander why more marriages are breaking despite more marriage preachers springing here and there. The reason is simple. More people are climbing the pulpit to teach people the wrong principles that put their own marriage at jeopardy. No matter how anointed anyone sounds or looks, if what they preach is not in agreement with the word, you have every right to throw it away.

Whenever I talk about my husband, some feel I praise him too much. Praise? I'm simply stating facts about him. You can't hide the truth for a long time especially when writing, you will eventually spill it out.

My husband loves me like Christ loves the church and makes marriage heaven on earth for me. He is a God-man, a Bible-man, a man with an active conscience who obeys the word and hates sin. He doesn't keep malice, doesn't tell lies, doesn't lust after women, doesn't have a single female friend and is a role model to me and our children. He is a great giver, forgiver and lover. When a man loves his wife genuinely, she has no choice than to submit to him.

The devil will test your love. Challenges will come but in Christ and obedience to the word, you will overcome.

I am not a messenger of woe! I am a messenger of love, joy, peace, bliss, hope and deliverance. That is my business, that is what the good Lord asks me to do. May the Lord grant all of us more understanding of the word and how he wants our marriage to be in Jesus' name. Feel free to share . God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, September19, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

GIVE HIM SUPER SEX!

Most men don't enjoy sex with their wives. On a scale of 10, hardly would we find 3 men who
can boldly declare his sex life excellent. So they keep suffering in silence, fantasize about their ex-girlfriends, secretary in the office or plain run into the arms of the ever willing mistress.

Now, is the time to claim your husband back.and have him glued to you like super glue for the rest of your married life.

1. DESIRE TO PLEASE HIM: Make up your mind to act right. Even if he treats you badly, for God's sake, honour him, never repay evil for evil.

2. ADMIRE HIS BODY: Men love to be admired by their wives. Take a long, tender look at his sharp eyes, well carved nose, sexy moustache (if he has any) sensuous lips, broad chest, bulging biceps and if he is slender, appreciate that tall, slim frame. Appreciate his skin! Whether tanned, chocolate, fair, dark or black, he's your husband, he's got no other wife, don't allow anybody do that job for you.

3. TELL HIM YOU FIND HIM HOT AND WANNA SLEEP WITH HIM ANY DAY, ANY TIME: Married couples should use sexy words freely between each other. Send sexy text messages, chat, call, set romance in pace. Tell him you love him and you think about him all the time.

4. WEAR SEXY UNDER WEARS FOR HIM: Deliberately do things that turn him on.Make marriage fun. When no one is watching, give him a quick kiss, slap his behind playfully, tenderly play with his beard, etc.

5. GO TO BED SPICK AND SPAN: NEVER sleep beside your husband without brushing your teeth or bathing, it's a huge turn off.

6. TRY THINGS YOU'VE NEVER TRIED BEFORE: Learn to kiss. If you don't know how, google it. Play with his body. Climb on top of him and work on every part of him.

7. TAKE THE LEAD: If you are tired of cowgirl, go spooning, doggy, sitting or standing, lead!

8. MATCH HIS SPEED: Follow the rhythm. Make love to him. Do it to him.

9. GET YOUR BODY IN SHAPE: You need to work on your body. Drop the fat. Work on the stretch marks. Exercise, eat vegetables, drink plenty of water. A successful sex life needs lots of energy.

10 VAGINA BIRTH AFTER 3 CHILDREN CAN LEAVE YOU OVER STRETCHED. Go back to the virgin he married . Do kegel exercise. It will flatten your
tummy and restore strength to the appropriate places.

11. DO NOT KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT DURING LOVE-MAKING: If he wants you to moan, do it. Speak in tongues, call Jesus' name (don't swear sha) or give him the names his father and mother forgot to give him.

12. PRAY FOR GRACE TO SATISFY YOUR HUSBAND: It's not easy considering work, stress, children and running the family. The Lord is your strength.

13. Your husband can remain faithful to you for the rest of your married life. It's completely up to you. You have that power over him. Use it. God bless you.
© Seun Oladele, 2015. Re posted, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS DON'T WORK!

She sent me this:

Good morning ma, please ma, I need your advice ma, regards my marriage. I got married last year December. Actually, my husband happened to be my mate when we were at school but then we were not friends, but after 6years of graduating from higher Institution, we met again and he proposed to me and we got married but before we got married, I asked him some questions about his spiritual life and answers then were positive, we even prayed together then. He didn't womanize, he didn't drink and we also talked about those things too before I accepted to marry him, but I never knew that he stopped those acts just to pretend for that period. So, a month after our wedding, he brought out his behavior, he drinks and womanize, then, stopped going to church. A man that was romantic in bed before is now a horror and I got married to him as a virgin.

What now made me to consult you is that he has started bringing strange things home (charms collected from Alfa and Herbalist) I'm so afraid because I had never seen him with those things before. Ma, I don't know what to do because right now I am six months pregnant, another thing is that, despite my condition he doesn't help me with anything at home no matter how weak I am, he would even send me on errands, even the water he will bath with in the night, if I don't put it in the bathroom, I am in soup. Though for now I'm not working but before we got married he said he will set up a business for me but now I see nothing.

LISTEN TO THIS:

When people seek counsel, one of the things we do as counsellors is dig into the situation and get missing information the counsellee may either forget to mention or is uncomfortabe sharing, otherwise, one will jump to conclusion and give wrong counsel. In the information given above, some things were not mentioned:

1. It was a long distance relationship.

2. They courted for only a year.

Long distance relationships simply don't work! Nothing annoys me like singles who have never been married all their lives try to advise married couples on something they practically know nothing about except bits they pick from books, hear says and nonsense they hear from some marriage preachers whose personal lives and marriages are a big disaster!

A lady asked recently if her relationship will work, the guy is abroad and she is in Nigeria, I told her the truth but she "prophesied" that hers will work. I only smiled. She had earlier asked for my help. She and the guy have issues with communication, will break down and weep when he talked, she was experiencing verbal and emotional abuse yet hell bent on marrying him. These are women who come crying after few years of marriage, pouring all the blame on the man, yet will not tell the counsellor the whole truth!

You can't know your partner by asking questions on phone. You need to stay within reach for at least a year in courtship, monitor them, go out together, watch their body language, see the way they treat people and pray for the spirit of discernment.

Some naive, ignorant singles will tell you, it doesn't matter, you can live with a person for ten years and still not know them, that is a stupid analogy! If you live with a person for such a long time and you do not know much about them, either you are blind, deaf or simply daft!
Long distance relationships don't work! All the women I counsel whose marriages have broken down had/have long distance relationships!

A man can be on top of another woman and be telling you on phone he is in church, how are you to know? How do you verify? How do you know he is hot tempered, through chats? How do you know he doesn't smoke or drink, through weekend trips you have already told him you are coming and he hid all the beer bottles and packs of cigarettes? How do you know he wasn't womanizing when he has told all his girlfriends not to come at the period you are coming?

Womanizers like virgins, he can tell all manner of lies to marry you then show his real colour. Stupidity is the reason most virgins marry irresponsible men! If you give your virginity to the wrong man, you will regret it for life!

One year of close courtship where you see your partner in flesh and blood as often as possible is far better than ten years of long distant relationship! In a close relationship, no matter your age and how desperate and impatient you are, you should court that man for two years before heading to the altar. Let them exhaust all their character, strengths and weaknesses; no one can pretend for two years! If after two years, you still have very shocking revelations about them like drinking and smoking, you need deliverance!

If circumstances take your fiance/fiancee away from you like schooling, career or business opportunities outside the state or country and you have courted for at least a year before leaving, you need AT LEAST another year to court ON LAND before going to the altar! Education and environment change people. They have met new people and had more exposure. They are not the same person you left few years ago. You need time to get to know this new person, find out if you are still compatible and ready to spend the rest of your life together.

Don't rush to the altar only to discover few months in marriage they have a lover some where you know nothing about!

Pray for the spirit of discernment. Women shouldn't hang their brains somewhere when courting! Some men are incorrigible, shameless, blatant, irresponsible, unrepentant liars! You must be spiritually and mentally alert to catch them in their lies!

Don't be desperate to get married. There is no where you are rushing to! You will spend more years in marriage than all the years you have spent as a single person. Better to marry late and marry well than marry early and marry wrong. If you rush in, you will rush out!

Above all, pray for God's will and after knowing your God's will don't shut your brain and go to sleep. You must study them and know how to live with them. May you not make a choice you will later regret. FEEL FREE TO SHARE. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 201.
www.askseunoladele..com

FLIRTING!



I used to think flirting is about wearing a lingerie, battling eyelashes, rubbing your hands all over the guy, pouting at the lady and circling your hand around her waist, current research has proven me wrong! Flirting is more subtle and most married and singles are guilty of it, yes, married people also flirt!

You often flirt without knowing and you need to put a full stop to any of these if you do not want to commit fornication or adultery.

1. You call the opposite sex dear a lot. "Thanks dear", "Yes my dear", "When should I be expecting you dear...?" that "dear" is flirty!

2. You wear sensitive clothes to attract their attention -nothing serious, just a little branch off from your normal wears to get their attention to your curves, muscular biceps or body build -that is flirting.

3. You are using words you don't normally use in your everyday language for them like "cool", "joor", "na", "k" etc in order to show intimacy, you are flirting!

4. You say things that are ourightly sexy or show deep intimacy -that is full blown flirting!

6. You say negative things about your spouse/partner to them while praising their good qualities, it is flirting!

7. You chat about very personal/emotional issues far into the night, you are seriously flirting!

8. You outrightly call them pet names -that is no longer flirting, it is an affair!

9. You visit them in their apartment without informing your spouse -emotional affair has started -that is serious flirting!

10. You touch them a lot, you will soon strip each other naked.

Married or single, avoid flirting at all cost. It adds nothing to you, neither does it help your marriage in anyway. Men should avoid touching ladies carelessly. It doesn't speak well of you. Married people should mind how they address and talk to the opposite sex. Always remember you are married, if you often forget, you need a larger and bigger wedding band with a mighty rock on it to keep pulling your mind back to where it should be.

All these holy hugs we do in church while enjoying the sisters full breasts should stop. Sisters should stop helping men pick dirt from their beard, you are not a refuse picker.

Married women should please, stop confiding in the opposite sex unless he is your father, brother or a disciplined marriage counsellor. Personal problems bonds us to the opposite sex.

Single brothers should stop calling sisters pet names in the name of brotherly love and sisters should stop hugging brothers in "Holy Embrace" all these are flirting.

"Flee all appearances of evil" is what the Holy Book says, Flee!!!
© Seun Oladele, 2017 (A Repost).
www.askseunoladele..com

LEAVE YOUR PAST ALONE!

Everybody makes mistakes, yours is not new, stop waking your dead past, leave it alone and move on.

The reason so many look ugly to their potential suitors is because they keep wearing the ugly, smelly clothe of their past. If you have given your life to Christ, you are super lucky! He wipes the slate clean and declares you holy so walk in the full conciousness of your righteousness and stop living in self condemnation.

Stop seeing yourself as the greatest sinner that walked the earth! Stop telling everybody about your past! Not everyone knows your past and if they do you owe them no explanation or apology unless you offended them. Only three people should know about your past: God, so he can wash you clean and make you pure. Your consellor so they can know how to help you forget your past and help you heal and your spouse, so they can understand you, period!

See, everyone make mistakes. There is no saint anywhere. That you lost your virginity, you once worked as a stripper/ porn actor, had sex with married men/ women, raped all your ex girlfriends or even did abortions for so many you lost count, had sex with kids(child molestation), your father/mother/brother/sister/aunt (incest), or even worked as prostitute does not mean you should kill yourself for God's sake! Repent, do not go back to your vomit and start living a clean life, simple!

You owe nobody any explanation about your past. Stop telling every guy/lady how bad you were until they have shown some commitment or you trust that they are not basket mouths. We have lots of immature, lousy mouthed, gossiping singles these days who have no single control over their mouths. You can't keep a single secret with them. They are the local CNN, battery without radio and birds without feathers! They jump to the street the moment you tell them a secret and spill out your dirty acts to every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Brace up! Embrace your future and walk in the reality of who you are in Christ. You are brand new and you should live like that. Life is complicated. We make mistakes, everyone does, small or great you will make mistakes till Jesus comes, just learn from them and move on, simple!

Christ has delivered you from the power of darkness and he has made you to sit with him in heavenly places far above sin, reproach and shame. "There is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus..." (Romans 8:1) God does not condemn you, why are you condeming yourself?
©Seun Oladele, March, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

SWEEP HIM OFF HIS FEET

You can sweep a man off his feet through intelligent conversations. Men love intelligent and smart ladies. They love women who can
think, are practical, logical and down to earth.

One of the ways you can make a man fall in love with you is to discuss things that matters to life not the gossip you heard down the street. Exercise your brain. Be current with current happenings.

Show practical interest in what he does. If the guy you admire is a sport fanatic, you will need to learn about sports and carry on intelligent conversation along that line and beyond. If he is a business guru, know about business. If he is a book freak, read good books and wow him with sensible, logical
conversations.

There is more to a marriage than cooking, having sex and raising children. A man wants a wife he can reason with. Someone he can introduce to friends and she won't make him hide his face once she opens her mouth. He wants a woman who is versed, knowledgeable, versatile, sharp and smart. How smart are you?

Be smart sister. Read good books, attend seminars, make friends with intelligent women. Learn how to carry on sensible conversations.

Be careful not be proud though. The Bible says "knowledge puffs up..." It's easy to become proud, arrogant and haughty because of what you know. No man wants to marry a woman who ridicules his knowledge and shames him mercilessly. You can nicely, politely and humbly correct him when he makes mistakes but do not throw your weight around, it's a huge turn off. Have you noticed that proud ladies don't get married easily?

Bottom line, be godly, be chaste, be beautiful, be a good cook, be physically appealing and beyond that work on your brain, put something good there regularly and become charming and irresistible to men. Be a lady worth pursuing.

Feel free to share. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2015, revised, edited, re posted, 2017.
www.askseunoladele.

SECRETS MEN KEEP FROM THEIR WIVES

Men have secrets and they keep them very tightly to their chest. A woman almost ran mad during her husband's burial when another woman showed up with his son she never knew from Adam. They had a blissful marriage and she never suspected her husband was having an affair.

I'm not just talking about affairs. I'm also talking giving out money without your consent or extending secret hands to his family members. He can also have secret bank accounts, businesses and projects.

No marriage can survive on secrets. However, a wife's attitude determines how much of himself her husband will reveal to her. If you want your husband to open all his heart to you, you must be mature, faithful, loyal, dependable and trustworthy.

There are some women who have no secrets. Their friends know everything about their husbands including how many times they have sex per week. Learn to keep your husband's secrets secret.

Avoid jealousy like plague. Your husband will never tell you he's getting attracted to a lady if you are manic jealous and insecure. You may ask, why should he be attracted to her in the first place? Because you no longer do the things that attracted him to you so he's plain bored! He complained several times about it but you keep giving excuses so he gave up and fell in love with someone else. This may sound hard, but it's the truth. You can't keep a man glued to you by being boring, unromantic and frigid. So, if you are the secured woman who is loving and understanding, you can ask him why he is being attracted, he will tell you and when you make the necessary the adjustments, he will forget the other woman exists. It's as simple as that.

Give him free hand. Let him give whenever he wants to, after all it's his money. Never tell your husband not to give, you can rather wisely explain the pressing need at home and advise him to cut down on the amount he wanted to give to people.

Don’ t waste his money, if you do, he will not tell you how much he has in his accounts lest you make unnecessary demand on him.

Encourage his business ideas though you do not agree with them. If you object, he might go ahead with it in secret not minding whether he fails or not. Men love to take risks. Go on your knees and ask God to touch his heart instead of standing in his way.

Do not judge, criticize, abuse, make fun of and threaten him anytime he shares a secret, weakness, failure or temptation with you. Men love correction but not condemnation. If you attack him and make him feel like a criminal, he will never ever open up to you again, never.

May the good Lord grant us the wisdom to run our marriages in Jesus' name. Feel free to share. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele 2015, revised, edited and re posted.
www.askseunoladele..com

CAN I LIVE IN A SINGLE ROOM APARTMENT WITH MY WIFE?

Singles keep asking me the type of apartment okay for them as a newly married couple: a room and a parlour, 2 bedroom flat, 3 bedroom flat or a duplex. No one wants a single room apartment though!

It all depends on your income, planning and vision. For instance, if you have a vision of becoming a multi-milionaire in the next 7 years but at present, your total income is 50k below. Rent an apartment you can CONVINIENTLY pay for without prayer and fasting or running to your parents for help, have enough to feed you and your bride plus a baby and save the rest for investment towards your future while working hard to make more money and move into a bigger apartment. Better still, build a house of your own!

If you copy the Jones, you are looking for trouble. Do according to your pocket. A room apartment self contain with your own kitchen, toilet and bathroom is okay like wise a duplex in VGC, it all depends on what you have. Do not be covetous, start small and grow big.

You can't live in a single room woth your children though. Ask God to bless you before babies start coming. God bless.
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

END THE RELATIONSHIP!

I tell 95% of my single counsellees to end their relationships! What most of them call relationship is nothing but abuse! If you experience any of these, no matter how madly in love you are with that person, it's time to let go!

1. YOU DO ALL THE CHASE: A loving relationship is mutual. A woman shouldn't chase a man who has no interest in her. If he truly loves you, he should chase you, if you like him respond to the chase. After the proposal and acceptance, both of you should chase each other. He loves you, you love him too. He calls you, you call too. That is balance! He takes you out, you respond, balance! If as a man you are the one doing all the call, the chase, the chat, the bills, the dates, you have no relationship! If as a lady, you do all the call, visit, chat, dates, etc, that man does not value you, let the relationship go!

2. THEY RIDICULE YOU: That is verbal abuse! Constant jesting, laughing at you, making fun of you, ridiculing you, looking down on you and treating you like a non-entity shows they lack respect for you. Of course in a good relationship, you play and laugh together but if they are always laughing at you instead of laughing with you, end the relationship!

3. THEY ARE STUBBORN AND PROUD! Red flag! In a marriage bound relationship, both of you should be humble enough to adapt to each other! If they are heady, stubborn, pompous, proud, sassy, rude, myopic, opinionated, heady and arrogant, end the relationship! If they take your words with a pinch of salt, do not value your person and treat you like they are doing you a favour for proposing or agreeing to marry you, let the spoilt brat out of your heart, he's not worth it. She is too full of herself to be a good wife! Loose them them and let them go!

4. THEY ALWAYS ASK FOR SEX: And you keep saying no, and they keep asking, first time, second time, third time, fourth time, fifth time, excuse me, end the relationship fast and don't look back!

5. THEY ALWAYS IRRITATE YOU: There is no need to get married. If all the person does irritates and annoys you instead of make you happy and give you pleasure, you are with another person's bone and flesh, end the relationship!

6. YOU DON'T LIKE HOW THEY LOOK: Physical attraction is very important in marriage please! My husband tells me at least 3 times daily I'm so beautiful to him. He practically says I'm hot! I tell him I like every part of his body from head to toe. Just looking at him gives me pleasure. Marriage has not changed my structure, I only added more flesh, marriage didn't make him shorter, darker or lighter, he's the same guy I've always known. Their physique won't change in the next 20 years! If you hate how they look now, you will further hate it years after marriage. Loose them and let them go! © Seun Oladele, 2017.

7. THEY ARE REFUSING TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THEIR FAMILY: Either he is a married man or she is ashamed of you. If both of you are mature and ready for marriage, there is no reason why they should not introduce you to their family.

8. THEY ARE HOT TEMPERED! And he is not doing anything about it. He goes completely berserk on provocation and even slaps you, she goes crazy and calls you all manner of derogatory names and you keep putting up with that trash because you are in lust with her, I pity your future! If you don't want that man to batter you in marriage and the woman to pour hot water or acid on you, end the relationship!

9.YOU ARE SCARED OF THEIR FAMILY BACKGROUND: Like they die prematurely, they don't make it in life, they divorce few years after marriage or are barren in their family and you are so so scared you do not want it to rob off on you. You should be able to join faith with your partner and break that curse, if you can't, end the relationship!

10.HE HAS NO JOB: Nothing whatsoever and he wanna get married, sister, use your head and drive that guy to use his two hands, two legs and medulla oblongata to get at least a room apartment for you both, cooking pots, gas or stove, a bed, 2 chairs, study table and a hand fan if he can't get a standing or ceiling fan. If he is hardworking and has a great vision for his future. In 3 years, you should move to a higher level of comfort but if he is lazy and depends on you for everything, you better run! You are to work as well and assist him financially, he shouldn't dump all the load on you, let him go!

11. THEY ARE TOO CLOSE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX: In courtship, after God, you are number one. If he is still frolicking around ladies, hugging every Rose, Mary and Fatimat, chatting and calling strange ladies while claiming they are just "friends", you are dealing with a flirt! End the relationship! If she uses a strange guy's picture as her profile picture and has lots of questionable guys as her friends, she is double dating, end the relationship!

12: THEY ARE STINGY: If you love, you will give with abandon. "For God so love that he gave..." if they are tight fisted and stingy, they do not love you, end the relationship!

13. YOU HATE THEIR DRESSING: Settle this once and for all in courtship. If you want her to wear make up and trousers, let her know. If she adjusts, fine, if not, please, let her go in peace. You will always meet hot ladies in trousers after marriage and you will lust after them. If you want him to wear Jeans, tank tops, Jerseys and fitted clothes, drum it in his ears now or else you marry and resent your husband as you see guys parading you in Jerseys!

Lots of shit happen in marriage! I meet men who drool over my little make up and the wife at home will stubbornly refuse to make up for her husband for whatever reason that suits her. I had to stand on a friend's neck to trim her eye brow and wear make up. I was tired of her husband chasing me around because I wore something he liked! She changed a little and relapsed! I had to permanently end the relationship. I was sick and tired of the man's attention!

14. YOU HATE THEIR CHURCH especially as a lady, you must like his church because that is where you will be attending after wedding. If you can't adjust or adapt to his church's doctrine, loose him and let him go!

14. YOU DO NOT AGREE SPIRITUALLY: She believes in tithe, you hate tithing, he is a fasting freak, you hate fasting with passion! He loves evangelism, you prefer to cuddle in front of a romantic movie, this is a major disparity, end the relationship!

These and more are red flags! If your partner exhibits any or all of these, end the relationship. Don't manage, there is no manage in marriage. Divorce courts are filled with people who wished they never married their partners! I have told some of my counsellees in terrible marriages heading towards divorce: "If you had sought my counsel when you were single, I would have told you not to marry this man!" The pain of divorce is not what I wish upon my worst enemy. Do not leave God out of your decisions. Pray and let Him guide you. You will not mis-choose in Jesus' name. FEEL FREE TO SHARE. God bless!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

MEN WHO SLEEP AROUND...

Men who sleep around lack focus. Men like this rarely succeed in life. I'm not talking about getting the combo and cruising in Ferrari, I'm talking about the success that impacts and change the world positively!

Men who sleep around are not serious. Some of them don't know what they want in life, they move from one unserious woman to another!

Men who sleep around lack sound vision for their lives. They don't have a future. The ones who try to create one copied or stole it from someone. They lack genuine ideas and initiative. They are always stretching their neck to see what someone else does and copy it or steal their ideas.

Men who sleep around are sex addicts. They can sleep with anything in skirt including their mother, sister and even dogs on the street.

Men who sleep around lack intelligence. Some of them are dull. They can't discuss anything meaningful for an hour without breaking into annoying mannerisms!

Men who sleep around have dysfunctional relationship with women. They can't commit to one woman with all their heart. Their heart has been shattered into pieces by the numerous women they sleep with.

Men who sleep around don't know how to have sex. Whaaaat? Yeah! They don't! They are masters at 5 minutes quickies and jump to another woman.

Men who sleep around are terrible husband materials. They are a curse to their wives.

Men who sleep around commit adultery in marriage . They sleep with their wives' sister, friends, maids, mother, etc

Men who sleep around like women a lot. Once he sees a woman he begins to x-ray her down to her pants!

Men who sleep around are acute, incorrigible, unrepentant, blatant liars! They need to keep telling the lies to cover up their fairy tale stories.

Men who sleep around have terrible curses on their head! Curses of all the virgins they deflower, curses of all the ladies they murdered through abortion, curses of all the abandoned children sleeping under the bridge, curses of all the ladies whose heart have been broken and unable to get married, curses of men whose wives you deflowered, raped and dumped before they met her.

You need serious deliverance if you have ever deflowered any lady or impregnate anyone and dumped her, you better go and beg her and ask for God's forgiveness or you never make it in life!

Men who sleep around are a bunch of disaster going somewhere to happen. Their lives has been so messed up by all the women they've slept with.

Men who sleep around never have happy wives. Their wives are filled with sorrow, low self esteem, fear of the future and jealousy for all his unseen mistresses who make marriage miserable for her.

Men who sleep around don't die old. Most of them die young. Fear, high blood pressure, paranoia, demonic possession from their demon possessed wives usually kill them.

The list goes on and on...

Whenever we encourage women to keep their virginity and keep chaste. These men like to jeer and shout "tell them!" I pity your life!

This woman with God's mercy can still shake off her past, build her life and find a godly man to marry who will clean her up and make her a stunning personality worth celebrating all over the world, but you? You are the leader in the relationship! No woman can help you unless you help yourself and be willing to be helped.

It's not too late to get your life in order and ask God to give you a new beginning; you just can't continue like this, your future is at stake. Repent fast before it is too late my brother. This message is specifically for someone reading this: REPENT, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. May the Lord grant you understanding. You can share on every man's wall to bless them. God bless you, cheers!
©Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

I'M I UGLY?

Why are you so worried about your looks? Why do you wish you are fairer, have bigger breasts, tiny waist and chair shattering buttocks? Are you so distressed you have short hair and wish to make it longer? As a man, you feel so bad you are short, pot bellied or too tall and thin? That's called low self esteem.

Excuse me, your body structure does not define you. All brains come in the same colour and size but you determine how high it functions, that is where your focus should be. Real attraction goes beyond your body! Real attraction is in your attitude, confidence, achievements and success. The more positive, hardworking, confident and result-oriented you are, the more attractive you will be any day, anytime!

Do what you can to be attractive but never change nature or you damage your body and regret it for life!

You can trim your brows as a lady, wear moderate and decent make up, comb or make your hair regularly. Always appear neat and tidy. Avoid over sized clothes that make you look older than your age, wear fitted clothes but not too tight. Always sew styles that fit your body structure and learn to smile. Smiling ladies are automatically attractive!

As a man, be neat, presentable. Brush your hair, trim or shave facial hair. Your hair cut should be something that fits you. Maintain your skin colour, don't bleach. A bleached skin is a big turn off.

Learn to smile from your eyes. Smiling guys are super attractive. Smiling husbands are super sexy! I love it when my husband smiles at me...oh my...oh my... (I'm holding my chest)...

Neatness automatically makes you attractive. Once you are clean from head to toe, you are good to go.

You are perfect the way you are. Never compare yourself with anybody, NEVER! Your body structure is exactly what you need to fulfil your destiny on earth. God didn't make a mistake when he created you that way -you are to fulfil purpose with it and don't bother your head about not being attractive to your spouse, when your real future partner comes, they will love and accept you perfectly the way you are. In fact, you will be stunningly beautiful and attractive to them.

When I was single, I thought I was ugly with a big set of teeth, flat chest and back and kinda short. I was topping my class anyway so I had some confidence and charisma. Hubby completely lost his head when he met me. He constantly told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world (honestly, I sometimes think that guy is blind) and with his tender care, regular sex in marriage, childbirth and eating lots of amala with ewedu, my cheeks and curves have filled out. (God bless my husband)! It's none of my business if every man on the road thinks I'm ugly, as long as my darling finds me hot and super sexy to him, I am contented.

Every other lady may say my husband is ugly, that's their business. As long as I see him as the sexiest, most handsome man alive, his world is made!

Don't kill yourself because of your body structure a beg. There is more to life than shaking heavy buttocks all over the street. Users may get attracted to you, use you till they get fed up and pass you to someone else, leaving you emotionally wrecked, but a godly man focuses on your heart and character which makes him love, cherish and value you forever!

Don't give yourself headache over your big stomach as a man, do all you can to bring it down and if it ain't coming down, trust me, there is a lady who will fall madly in love with all part of you. Your stomach will be one of the reasons she finds you so sexy! Don't worry about being short, your woman will go crazy for you despite your height. I've met average height or short men who are absolutely stunning and handsome. Beauty my brother is in the eye of the beholder.

Lastly work on your vision, education, career or business. When you are successful at what you do, everyone wants to identify with you, know you and some would want to get married to you. We all want to identify with confident, successful people so make success out of your life.

Success is not in how much you have in your bank account but how much progress you make in your life daily. May the good Lord grant you understanding. FEEL FREE TO SHARE. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

PLEASE, HAVE SEX WITH ME...

There are ladies who practically beg men for sex, no, they don't say it with their mouths. They are too ashamed to do that, they say it stylishly with their body and when the man is done using and dumping them, they come crying and weeping!

I boarded "Maruwa" recently and my jaw almost shattered at the sight of the lady sitting next to a guy, probably her boyfriend. This lady has the lightest, fairest, softest and smoothest thigh I've ever seen (I'm not flattering). How did I know? She wore a short skirt revealing 70% of her thigh and how that guy was able to hold a discussion with her without touching the thigh or grabbing her in the vehicle deserves an award! Eventually, she leaned on him, put her arm around him and I could guess they were either on their way to having sex or just had one!

Don't come crying someone raped you if you go spend the night in his house, that's in a simple language, asking for sex, period!

You wear body revealing clothes and you say you want to be a virgin, virgin? Tell that to fools my dear, you are purely asking for sex!
You ask for recharge cards today, half of his salary tomorrow. He is your ATM machine where you withdraw money to do hair, buy menstrual pad, chew gum and ice cream though he is not your fiance or husband, you are simply asking for sex!

You are making jest of him, you call him "okobo" (impotent) etc and daring him to touch you, what the hell do you think you are doing?
Your fiance comes to visit you, you wear mini-skirts, bum shorts, tank tops, strapless and even UnCloth before him and you say you don't want sex!

You send dirty chats, nude pictures, talk dirty and dare him to do same and you are telling me you want to be a virgin till marriage, how in the name of God is that possible?

You deliberately turn a man on to the point of getting him drunk with hot sexual desire and here you are lying beside him semi naked over the night and you are screaming NO to sex. Are you stupid? Do you want to kill him? Once a man is turned on he is restless till he get a release. He is filled with unusual energy, irrational and completely uncomfortable! Free meat is beside him! The creator of that desire! You were the one who turned the animal in him loose so he treats you like an animal, you get raped, neat!

What usually follow after his eyes are calm is hatred! Hatred for you! He feel so bad raping you (yes, men with conscience do feel bad after raping though he never says it or shows it) , he hates you for turning him on, he hates you for being so cheap, he hates you for lacking the dignity to say NO. You become cheap and very stupid to him, he stops calling you or giving you attention, he dumps you neat!

This is definitely not an excuse for you guys to rape. If you do so, be ready to face the law! Rapists should spend at least 10 years in jail to put their scattered senses in order! Why would you rape? Are you an animal? Okay, you don't rape, you only sleep with them because they keep seducing you. Why would you even attract a lady like that in the first place? Why would you move with ladies who seduce and make fun of virgins? You attract who you are. If it is not in you to do it, you won't attract seducers! And when she comes seducing though you never wanted sex, open your mouth and say a big, fat NO abi? Is anyone holding your mouth?

Bottom lime, ladies be careful! There is no innocent seduction. You seduce is you seduce. You yourself know that you are seducing, abeg, let us tell ourselves the truth and stop playing the victim of rape and rejection.

Take note of what you say, wear and and how you act around the opposite sex henceforth. In fairness to men, if you don't ask for it, push for it, demand for it and put yourself in the position to get it, he won't do it and guys, stop taking advantages of innocent ladies please!

Men who sleep around are simply cheap, dirty, lack personal dignity and self worth and do not deserve respect from ladies. More so, there is an 80% chance you will commit adultery in marriage. Who wants to marry that kind of man? May the Lord grant you understanding. FEEL FREE TO SHARE. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

BEWARE OF PLAY BOYS!

Play boys are super intelligent women users! They are the perfect grand master in the art of seducing and winning a woman's heart! Playboys know the exact word to say at the right time to make you pant and yearn for him.

Play boys are excellent at turning women on, have them practically beg for sex, use them like a piece of rag and eventually dump them! Play boys are merciless at dumping ladies, they are not in your life to do you any good, they are there to permanently ruin you!

Play boys are good looking, sexy and seductive. Few of them are rich and most of them are talented. They know how to bewitch you with their good looks, waoh you with their talent and sweet talk you into their bed.

Play boys are liars! They lie so much even the devil burst into tears at the magnitude of their lies!

Play boys have only one mission: To conquer you and have sex with you. Intelligent, talented super successful women are a big threat to them. They have very low self esteem. One way they boost their self esteem is conquering women in bed.

Being married to the greatest husband in the world does not keep them off, it is a challenge. They love to get into another man's wife's pants! Savoring someone else's wife and watch her practically go on her knees begging for few minutes of sex is what give this men strange chemo high! They love stripping other men's dignity and honour by mercilessly having sex with their wives over and over again till they get tired!

Play boys are no longer those ruffians you see on the street. Play boys are now more sophisticated. They are the boss at the office, teacher at school, lecturer at the university and so many Pastors who are grand masters at seducing church members' wives! Play boys are those smooth talking, tongue speaking brothers who came to propose to you but keep hitting you for sex any time you are together!

You can't handle a play boy! You need the spirit of discernment to know a man's motive for pursuing you; have a mentor, counsellor, a father figure whom you respect or your brother who can help you navigate your way out of the destructive relationship. You need your husband to help you explain a play boy's motive for pursuing you.

Play boys use secrets as a powerful weapon. They tell you not to divulge their relationship with you to anyone! You must clear all the secret chats before your husband finds out, your dad or siblings must never know they are dating you. They meet you in secret, hide from you in public while claiming they love you than their very lives!

Play boys have very dirty minds. 90% of their discussion is towards sexual arousal. They tell you they are just being themselves, accuse you of being unsophisticated, rigid or senselessly principled when you object to the sexual discussion or deny ever turning you on. They work on your mind, tell you you are too frigid, rigid and may never have a good sex life in marriage. They ask you to loose inhibitions, be free with them and encourage physical contact a lot.

No, they don't rush you. They take things very slowly with you. They may start from innocent handshake to hugging then kissing then romancing and sex. They then withdraw the love and attention, you beg for more love, they demand for more sex and when they are done with you, they throw you away and see you as nothing but trash! Used, dumped, useless, stupid, foolish and cheap! You are a LovePeddler! That's their new pet name for you! Conquering you has added another trophy to their massive collection.

If your secret relationship eventually leaks out, they pile lies on top of your head. They tell the world you are the one pursuing them, disturbing them and practically begging them for sex. They claim you have a seductive spirit that hypnotized them. They never really know what they were doing till they have innocently had sex with you.

Dear sisters, I will advice you to humble yourself, learn from godly women, read good books on relationships, have godly mentors and counsellors who can watch over you, guide you and correct you before you fall into their trap. To claim super power and play near fire with petrol all over your body is to get burnt forever. Let mature people guide you, you can't handle a play boy.

As a married woman, never have a secret male friend anywhere. If he always encourage you to clear your chat with him, he is dangerous and will eventually wreck your marriage. Never go into any relationship your husband does not approve of. If he is not comfortable with any of your male friend, don't dismiss his concern as jealousy, end the relationship with speed! A man can interprete another man's motive for being in a relationship with you.

Stick to your values and principles, do not compromise your standard for any reason in the world!

If you are very beautiful, gifted, talented or rich, watch out, many men, most who are play boys will hunt for you. Your big wedding ring won't keep these men off, it intoxicates them to pursue you more.

May you not fall into the devil's trap in Jesus name. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017 (A Repost).
www.askseunoladele..com

WHY YOUR HUSBAND IS CRAZY ABOUT HIS MISTRESS AND IS NOT READY TO LET HER GO...

I do not support an affair. Singles can also learn to prevent future adultery. But here are are the possible reasons your husband is crazy about his mistress and is not ready to let her go...

1. SHE LISTENS TO HIM while you are busy attending to the children, the chores, the business and forget that he even exists. You ignore him a lot and sometimes shout at him!

2. SHE RESPECTS, SUBMITS TO HIM AND TOTALLY ADORES HIM: She hangs to his words like the words of divinity. Celebrates him, admire him, praises him silly and is very fond of him.

3. SHE IS ROMANTIC: She goes completely crazy for him. While you are calling him by his first name or "baba Bayo", she gives him a sweet pet name and coos all those sweet nothings: "I love you", "I'm crazy for you...", "wanna die for you honey", "you are the sweetest, cutest thing in my world, etc." Into his ears.

4. SHE BUILDS HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES, she knows how to turn him on. Men are crazy for wives who turn them on.

5. SHE IS PASSIONATE IN BED. Come on, while you are lying down there like a log of wood completely dis-interested, she takes charge in bed! Energetic, passionate, wild, sweet to touch, versatile, switch into different styles like a pro and makes your husband scream her name over and over again. She makes sex so delicious he practically thinks about her 24/7.

6. SHE IS GETTING SLIMMER WHILE YOU ARE GETTING FATTER. Your husband hate the fat though he is not telling you.

7. SHE NEVER SAYS NO TO SEX. She is eager and ready any time, Mayday, any how, any where!

8. SHE SMELLS GOOD while you ooze body odour from morning till night.

8. SHE SHAVES AND IS SPARKLING CLEAN FROM HEAD TO TOE. You are bushy and dirty.

9. SHE TREATS HIM LIKE A LOVER BOY YET RESPECT HIM. You treat him like a grand dad and stop being romantic. She brings out the boy in him and play with him excitedly. At 50, she makes him feel 25. Men are completely crazy for women who play with them.

10. SHE PACKAGES HER BODY LIKE A SWEET SIXTEEN while you always dress like his great grand mother.

11. SHE IS GENEROUS while you are stingy.

12. SHE BELIEVES IN HIM, you despise him.

13. SHE PRAISES HIM, you despise and abuse him.

14. SHE SERVES HIM DELICIOUS FOOD WITH VARIERIES, your food is bland, tasteless and lacks variety.

15. SHE IS ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE HIM, HEAR HIM ON PHONE AND EAGERLY WAIT FOR AND SEND HIM CHATS while you ignore him at the door after a hard day work at the office...

These and more are the reasons your husband is madly in love with his mistress and is not ready to let her go.

Once again, I do mot support an affair but trust me, if your dear hubby is not getting satisfied at home, there is a tendency to fall into temptation out there.

Some women complain they've done everything they knew how to do, yet their husbands still chase his mistress. Trust me baby, you've not done EVERYTHING you need to do. There are still MORE to do to get your husband back. It is not only sex a man wants in a mistress, he wants much more that he is lacking at home, find out and deal with it.

You are in real competition with the LovePeddler! Don't let her win. If she uses charm, you add prayer to your weapons and in no time you win your husband back. Read HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS (How to build an affair proof marriage) by Gary Chapman, it will help you a lot. You will not lose your husband to another woman in Jesus name.I love you so much baby. Keep working at it. Feel free to share. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE READY FOR MARRIAGE...

1. As a lady, you are at least 23 years old and the man is at least 25 years old.

2. You have a job/ business that can take care of you, your wife and at least a baby.

3. As a man you have your own apartment and you pay all your bills by yourself.

4. As a lady, you can take good care of yourself and another person without any stress.

4. You love children and hope to have yours.

5. You enjoy cooking and do house chores without being told.

6. You can live at least a thousand miles away from your parents.

7. You can make major decisions about your life and face the consequence.

8. You are no longer under the control and command of your parents.

9. You do not yield to peer pressure. You do what needs to be done regardless of what anyone feels.

10. You are sexually responsible. You know how to say NO to premarital sex and mean it.

11. As a lady you have a good relationship with your dad and you are submissive to authorities.

12. As a man, you love your mum, sisters and treat women generally with respect and dignity.

13. You know how to make and multiply money.

14. You are spiritually sound. You pray and receive answers to your prayers. You know how to hear God.

15. You are generous. You give with pleasure.

16. You have a healthy sexual desire.

17. You know exactly what you want in life and you pursue it daily to attain it.

18. You have a strong desire to love, bond with and help another person be all what God wants them to be.

19. You do not have destructive bad habits.

20. You are in full grip of your emotions. You are not hot tempered, lustful and possessive!

These and more are the signs you are ready for marriage. Marriage requires all round maturity: physical, social, mental, emotional, psychological. It is not compulsory you must marry at 25.

Wait till you are mature or your immaturity will destroy your marriage. I see it all the time. May the Lord grant you understanding. FEEL FREE TO SHARE. God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

WHY "UGLY" LADIES GET MARRIED AHEAD OF "BEAUTIFUL" LADIES

Character makes the difference! While the seemingly beautiful ladies are proud because of their Kim Kardashian curves and Barbie like face, calling shots and treating guys like a pile of shit to be used like ATM machine and dumped for a rich billionaire they barely know from Adam, the seemingly "ugly" ones are displaying their wifely qualities, being humble, homely, submissive, attractive at thesame time industrous and hardworking and a man wants to marry a wife, not a intimacy gadget. Character is real beauty!
www.askseunoladele..com

BEAUTY, BRAIN AND MONEY...

My ladies, instead of praying for a rich man why don't you make your own money too? You want a tall, handsome dude, why not become extra ordinarily stunning and attractive? Instead of waiting for a man with an exotic car, why not buy your own car? Who says you can't make your millions as a single lady?

Who says you can't be beautiful, intelligent, virtuous and yet humble -a great wife material? Why must you wait for a man before you feel complete? Why would you under-achieve or become a begger because you wanna marry? That's not a virtuous woman!

A virtuous woman combines brain, beauty and money put together! Whatever a man can do, a woman can surely do better!

Rise up, go out there and make coolo money. Shake your world, impact your generation!

You are much more than who you think you are.
I KNOW WHO I AM! God bless you, cheers!
© Seun Oladele, Sept 1, 2017.
www.askseunoladele..com

I'M CONFUSED, I DON'T KNOW WHO TO MARRY...

I've once been in your shoes. It is confusing to pick the right guy when you have good guys around you and they all want to marry you, who should you pick? Which one should you say yes to, you are so scared you don't want to mis-choose and at the same time hold onto those guys lest you leave the good for the bad!

If you wait till you are about to marry before you start hearing God, you are a late comer and you are going to mischoose!

Relationship with God is not an abracadabra you just do when one guy propose to you and you are running from pillar to post trying to hear God by fire, by thunder, by force! The devil loves situations like this. He knows most singles are so desperate they do not know the difference between his voice and God's voice and capitalizes on it! If you are not used to hearing God you will mistake the voice of the devil for God and pick the wrong man. Learn to hear God daily as a single person. Have a close, personal relationship with your father and get used to His voice. Jesus says "I know my sheep and my sheep know me. They hear my voice and the voice of the stranger, they will not follow" (John 10:27) Do you know His voice?

My friend of many years had proposed to me while on holiday from school. I went back to school thinking about the proposal. Oh my goodness! He was a good guy! My late mum liked him, all my siblings loved him, his mum liked me including his elder sister and siblings but was he God's will for me?

I had met my husband in school and the relationship was terrific! We hit it off on strong mutual admiration and couldn't do a day without seeing each other! He was a super good guy. A generous giver to a fault. A passionate lover of God. Brilliant and responsible. Ladies secretly admired him and wished he would one day proposed to them. Aint I so lucky? But wait...was he God's will for me?

I prayed about him, studied the word, watched my dreams, check for peace of mind and heart, searched for deep seated joy and contentment. Read books on relationships, went for counselling over and over again...("In the multitude of counselling, there is safety" Proverbs 11:14). I asked him series of questions. I studied him closely. I checked my list of qualities, he met most of them (the remaining are now met in marriage). I said YES to him and NO to the other one!

No one can choose a spouse for you. Singles keep asking me if they should marry a particular person or not, for God's sake! I CAN'T CHOSE A PARTNER FOR YOU! No one can! Your parents can't! God won't force anyone on you either! When you ask Him, He reveals your partner to you. If you like, take him, if you like reject him, you are on your own!

The bottom line is this, learn to hear God daily, He is the one who can reveal your spouse to you. Don't wait till you are about picking who to marry before you start forcing yourself to hear Him.

If you are about to pick a man right now and you do not know how go hear God. Put the relationship on hold. Learn to walk with God, listen to Him and obey Him. Not just because you want to use Him to pick the right spouse and then run away but because He is your heavenly father and you want to develop a close, intimate relationship With God.

Hearing God is not limited to picking the right spouse, you will need it throughput your life. We need God's direction on daily basis lest we make decisions that will ruin our lives forever! May the good Lord grant you understanding. Feel free to share. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.

I REGRET MY MARRIAGE!!!

"Aunty, I need your advice. I want you to share my story so others can learn. I got married as a Christian, a virgin, a Masters degree holder to a Pastor. I don't know what my future holds. I have been married for 17 months but full of regrets and pain. I wish I had waited more.

I don't doubt the fact that God spoke to me because I had been trusting God even though I had men who want to marry me but I don't see God in it all.

Eventually, a young man came and I heard God, I loved him immediately, jumped all protocol and we got married after 5 months. God knows I was not in a hurry. I had plans, dreams, ministry, but he is Pastoring already and needs to get married on time.

Things got all messed up. There are spiritual issues, he is traditional, he is not mature. I became immature, you know tit for tat things; bitter, lost my relationship with God. I just want to leave him..."

The story is lengthy but that was the little I could copy to save time and space. The summary of it all is this: she was in a relationship with a brother who loved her dearly but there were prophecies that getting married to him is dangerous, her mother kicked vehemently against the relationship and even broke down, she eventually released the guy though it was painful. That brother waited for her, got engaged and broke it, hoping she would reconsider her decision and marry him but it was too late.

She met her husband on Face book, did whirl wind courtship, ugly scenes began to appear before the wedding day, no honey moon after wedding, he never showed love and care, slapped her twice and eventually beat her (domestic violence), she had a miscarriage, lost her relationship with God and lives in tears and regret.

HERE ARE THE LESSONS TO LEARN

1. FACEBOOK MARRIAGE DOESN'T WORK! Distant relationships don't work. If you choose to be stubborn and rush into marriage with someone you barely know, you will bite your fingers forever! I'm currently counselling a couple and another person whose marriage has broken down completely -they met on face book.

2. THEY RUSHED THE RELATIONSHIP. No matter your age, you can't afford to rush into marriage if you don't want to rush out. Even if you are 99 years old, you need at least, a year of on ground, face to face courtship with your partner before you make a journey of no return at the altar.

3. SHE DID NOT HEAR GOD CLEARLY: she thought he was God's will for her but no, he is not! God will not give his precious daughter a panel beater and wife batterer! The first guy was her husband, the second was a big mistake.

4. SHE ACTED ON UNVERIFIED PROPHECIES: What anybody says about your spouse is irrelevant to what God says about them, learn to hear God yourself.

5.SHE ALLOWED FAMILY INTERFERENCE: she listened to her mother, ended a profitable relationship and ended up marrying a loser!

6. SHE DID NOT SEEK GODLY COUNSEL: "In the multitude of counselling, there is safety." She jumped protocol!

7. THEY ARE NOT COMPATIBLE: she is more mature and has a higher educational qualification than him. He has lower qualifications, emotionally immature and insecure. He was jealous of her and always embarrasses her in public.

8. HE NEVER LOVED HER: he married her because he is a Pastor and his position requires a wife.

My dear brothers and sisters, a successful marriage is not a joke; it is not a child play, it is for serious minded adults.

Do not allow anybody, age or society pressurize you into a marriage you will regret for the rest of your life. Better be single and hoping to get married than married and wishing to be single.

You can't handle the pain of divorce. I do not wish it upon my worst enemy. Read, learn and apply wisdom. You will not miss it in marriage in Jesus name. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017
www.askseunoladele..com