₦airaland Forum

Ujujoan: You are not supporting the man beating her up and yet you think she was wrong to defend herself

Pray tell, what would she have done to fight off a man 2ce her size who was about to beat her to death

She was wrong to have taken a life. She was right to have defended herself. It's really that clear cut.

And saying he would have beat her to death is speculation, we don't know that for sure. She had the knife, she could have screamed for help or backed out of there using the knife to threaten the man out of the way.

Are you saying you'd have stabbed the man to death too if you were the one?

bukatyne: You sure DID NOT read the op

They were fighting as usual and she picked up a knife...

The usual separator came and begged the wife to drop the knife...

As soon as she did, sharp hubby pounced on her and beat her again...

After that, she killed him amidst the beatings...

No I read the OP. She had an upper hand cos she got the knife after the peace maker left. With that advantage she didnt have to kill him. If it got too intense and he attacked her anyway she could have wounded him. But again she's a child and can't think like us.

If i understand your reasoning correctly does this mean it's okay for a child to stab the househelp or an older classmate to death if that one was bullying, beating or torturing her and she felt her life is in danger?

What is wrong is wrong. It's all an unfortunate incidence but we can't be here saying someone deserved to die. Who are we to say such?

@Ujujoan

I also never supported the man beating her. Please stop putting words in my mouth and let's address the issue or respectfully agree to disagree.

Ujujoan: He didn't have to beat her . . . . do you think he thought that far?

Maybe she didn't really mean to kill him . . . maybe she just wanted to make him stop and things got out of hand . . . did you think that far?

Actually I thought that far. People commit crimes by mistake and moreso she's just a child.

Yet it does not justify saying it serves the Man right. That's the only thing I'm maintaining here.

Ujujoan: Did you not read the original post? She didn't murder him in his sleep . . . she was defending herself.

Even when neighbors intervened, he only waited for her to drop the knife before attacking her again. Should she have waited for him to beat her to death before she starts defending herself

This isn't murder, it's self defence!

She didn't have to kill him (I agree maybe she didn't think that far). That's my own point.

bukatyne: Why do people blame parents when the kids do not turn out well? Afteral, the kids could have trained themselves....

Heard of cause and effect?

Cure the disease and not the symptoms...


I have a feeling that it was just a matter of time before the husband killed the wife if she did not kill him first

We should always try to separate issues in order to think clearly in a matter. Child marriage and manslaughter intersect here.

I am a strong advocate against child marriage but nothing justifies manslaughter except the perpetrator's life can be proven to have been on the line at the exact moment she killed the victim. This report doesn't sound like so, she was the attacker and with the upper hand of a weapon you can threaten the man to back off without killing him. But then she's just a child.

"Cure the disease and not the symptoms" sounds alright but how many people will one go about killing pre-emptively?

Ujujoan: They are very much related . . . .

I doubt if the man would have abused an older woman closer to his age . . . He married a minor thinking he can intimidate her and abuse her whenever he liked and get away with it . . .

Also, the way a 26 year old woman would resolve a conflict is completely different from the way a 16 yr old child would.

The way and adult will handle life and it's ups and downs is completely different from the way a child would . . .

The way an adult will handle responsibilities is completely different from the way and adult would . . . .

That's why it's better for people to mature before getting into marriage . . . so they don't end up thinking the only way out of it is to knife their husbands.

IMO, he got what he deserved!

I agree the man was wrong but I don't agree he deserved to die. Going by your token we all deserve to die for some reason or the other then. This is why we have a justice system that tries to mediate affairs. Without laws we are savages.

Summary: the man was wrong to have married a 12 or 13 or 14 year old that didn't have a choice, even though it is acceptable in his culture and religion. The girl was wrong to have murdered him even though she is a child and likely didn't know better.

Neither side did right but i sympathize with the girl.

aManFromMars: @alfa and @stryk: chess, next weekend?

You guys dey play chess? 1.e5

Ishilove: O Alfa...

*sniffs*

Na wa to you oh, how many lovers you get eh?

I can't believe there are people here justifying the manslaughter.

People should stop conflating stuff. Agreed the girl was most likely led into marriage against her own will, and I do not support adolescent marriage but that's an entirely separate issue.

y-fo:
@op, you see wetin you don cause...the heading has given girls chance to yab us and you wonder why guys dey paro for you



*I know she's joking but I still can't forgive the heading

The title of the thread get k-leg.

Ishilove what about me? Will we ever continue?

Wait sef be like say na only me dem no ban. *pats clay calabash*

@ogugua88

Oh I didn't even know you mod the section, I just see your handle often. Well male feminists are rare but I guess I was reacting to your exaggeration: I surely am not the only one.

As you can see, I haven't supported any of the guys you're referring to. I don't find such reactions necessary in the least. My own point is that the OP's first post could have been better worded without giving praise to bad behavior. And in my last post to him, we've cleared that up.

Right now both of us are still on this because I said such things impede feminism. I still maintain that view, and we can agree to disagree on that.

As for the gist on victims in the context of romance, as much as I find your example hilarious I won't pursue it because I'd say we all know who's really a victim when it counts.

obadiah777: you can but there is nothing we can do about it here lol. you going to have to take your complaint to the person who created the religion in question

Who is the god of Nairaland, is the position still free?

Sweetapple007: its like u re a victm of foolishness! I suggest u see a counsellor?

Please spell your words properly like an educated person.

You're breaking Nairaland rule 21.

ogugua88: That's you then. You're probably the only one.

I don't see how the op's post encourages any negative behavior in women in all honesty. This thread isn't glorifying such women but calling some men to order. There are foolish women out there too (duh). The more reason why guys should be wary as to on whom they spend.

- No I'm not the only one. Come on, I've been seeing the kind of posts associated with your handle. I know you know better.

- Even the title of the thread glorifies the wayward behavior. Also, the OP is chockful of sly praise / covert admiration for the women who do such (so called smart girls), and censure for the victims (in this case, guys).

- When will we as a people stop blaming victims?

ogugua88: Because if it was moving forward, you and your colleagues would be supportive.

I'm a proud feminist, so what's your point?

DailyNews: that's just the truth. The poster may not know or accept it, he's indirectly and directly encouraging Nigerian women to continue being swindlers, to continue faking love and to continue being materialistic becos to him, Nigerian men are to blame and are the fools.

This is what Yahoo-Yahoo boys believe while they defraud innocent foreigners: they make up stories of how colonial masters ripped Africa off her treasures and resources to develop their European lands, and see internet scam as a way of paying them back for what their fore-fathers did to Africans.

And when they cook up such stories, gullible-minded people get angry and support their evil ways of scamming innocent foreigners.

A spade should be called a spade! A wayward woman is a wayward woman no matter who made her wayward becos not all women will accept to become wayward cos a man offered her money.

There is no justification for a girl to swindle a guy or pretend to like him just to get his money, and should any girl do, she should not feel bad when she is called: wayward, gold-digger or materialistic cos that's what people with such character are called

Hear him!

Sweetapple007: u re so confused is like u didn't read the thread ad stop quotg me!

If you dont want me to quote you, you can deactivate your account, I'll quote what's left minus the handle.

Or click "Report" if I break any Nairaland rules.

sweetestguy: I'm nt encouragin women to engage in dishonesty, bt since de are(like u stated) d best tin for we guys is to wisen up, dats all I meant , chikena

Maybe na how you talk am get comma, cos if you read all the female responses most of them are hailing you for being a guy yet supporting such bad behaviour.

It's things like this that are setting feminism back. Why are you collecting his money when you are not interested in him?

It's like stealing, or going to collect a salary at a place where you are not employed. Later you'll complain that men objectify women.

DailyNews: So there is no justification to a girl being materialistic, wayward or gold-digger! If u don't like a guy, there is no two ways about it, tell him no and stand by your NO and don't commit yourself and emotion to him by accepting a dime or gift from him!

If I don't like a girl, even if she likes, let her go to heaven and bring angel Gabriel down for me or buy me diamonds, the fact remains that I won't date or marry her, and I won't accept anything from her, period! And that's how a reasonable human (man or woman) ought to behave.

Guy, chop knuckle. You get sense.

Sweetapple007: Poster! U tried this is just the bitter truth. Thank God it is commg frm a guy.

Bitter truth here obviously includes encouraging women to engage in dishonesty, betrayal and a slew of societal vices. No wonder the world is the way it is.

The same rationale is why Yahoo boys swindle people and they have ranked Nigeria on Internet blacklists worldwide. They are just being sharp guys, those oyinbos are mugus.

y-fo:
On point bro, can't imagine a girl posting that in a thread and calling her fellow ladies foolish...hope the op can look at this from this angle and see where he messed up.


@least we can agree on something axion .

Yes boss. Sadly this is Nairaland and sarcasm is a foreign language to most.

Real foolishness is generalizing on one gender based on some anecdotal examples in your limited experience.

Both guys and girls have bad eggs, it's human nature. Sometimes it's not even your business if someone wants to hook up with a bad egg. Are they not adults?

Every adult should be responsible for his / her decisions and LIVE BY THEM or try again if they want to.

life_style: And how i suppose take know ?

As to say dem dey write am for forehead

Epaul: @op, ur post is a fatuous flimsy flim-flam, a flatulent dysmal vacuity!

Bros wait first make we buy dictionary.

sweetestguy: lol, u haff try

I trust say that one sef go make sense to you naa

sweetestguy: We always complain of how greedy naija babes are, and how they love money a lot,but come to think of it, you meet a girl who obviously doesn't even like u,not to think of love,u now use money to impress her. Why won't she play along to dry ur pocket, she's just a smart girl,and there is nothing wrong in being smart.

The signs will be very clear that she doesn't care about you, yet you won't mind spending dough to win her and after you come here to post on how naija babe are bad.

Have you ever noticed that some girls that drains the guys pocket have another guy they don't even ask for anything?

guys grow up, we still have plenty of girls who truly love, just find the one that that suits you.

We always complain of how wicked naija guys are, and how they love punny a lot, but come to think of it, you meet a guy who obviously doesn't even like u, not to think of love, u now use your sexy body to impress him. Why won't he play along to use you for great sex, he's just a sharp guy,and there is nothing wrong in being sharp.

The signs will be very clear that he doesn't care about you, he just wants to give you good dicking, yet you won't mind wasting time with him, collecting prick on the regular, maybe even one or two or 5 abortions, and after you come here to post on how naija guys are bad.

Have you ever noticed that some sharp guys that are players giving prick to various girls have another girl they are keeping for a serious relationship or even marriage?

girls grow up, we still have plenty of guys who truly love, just find the one that that suits you.

Guys, be sharp. Nothing wrong with being sharp.

life_style: As long as she opens her leg, no problem

no punny no money

*singing* I don't know what they want from me, it's like the more punny we come across, the more problems we seeeee!

*singing Kas Fimile*

*singing D'Banj Why Me*

Monicasque: bless u child

You see yourself? No wonder we broke up

If someone wants to complain about his religion can he also do that here?