Now I believe that if a parent ever feels the need to beat a child because of his or her actions, then this parent should reallly look within his or herself and figure out if the childs actions were not learned through them the parents. Because, I was born and raised here in America where I have seen some outrageous performances in public between mother and child. I've seen a mother drape up her child by his collar and scream in his face, " I'm gon' f*ck you up when we get home!" I was like WHAT? Who does she expect him to ne when he grows up? If you come to this country and just observe these so called parents, some of them will explain to you why there are so many wayward black teens who grow up to be wayward adults who just repeat the cycle of horrible child rearing and train young black men for the prison system here in the U.S.

My parents may have beat me at home when I did something wrong after they told me over and over again not too. If I talked back, I got whacked. But my parents at least tried to set some kind of positive example and has instilled alot of very good values in me. In the islands it is common place to spank the children when they don't listen and that's just what I got. But my parents never belittled me to the point where I would feel inadequate as an adult.

I don't have any children yet so I guess it's easy to say I will not resort to corporal punishment but sometimes, children can do a good job at testing your patience. I've babysat before so I know. But I do believe that you should not have to scream or yell at a child for them to do what you say. Because when you start yelling at them, they dont respond when you talk to them, and when you start beating them, they dont respond to talks or punishment. Lets not train our children to be circus animals that only respond to the whip!

Like others have said in previous comments, explain things to them as though they are adults since we are in fact preparing them to be succesful and mature adults who will one day be parents as well.

But three times ? Still talking about forgiving after a third mistake? Nah man chill! I can't do it! I wont do it! Why? It's a done deal! She's in a relationship with him, but he ain't in one with her! He is still playing the feild. Still looking for fish elsewhere while he has a sea at home 3 times 3 times 3 times!
Forgive Who?

Cheating men deserve cheating women. Let them exchange diseases with one another. Why are you making yourself a victim. Has he tied your hands and feet? Can't you move on to someone bigger and better? This would be self abuse if you stay. Go! Pack your things and leave or pack his things and throw his sorry unloyal butt out!
NEXT GOOD MAN PLEASE STEP UP!

too close to the edge,,,,correction

Yeah it happens here in NYC from time to time! People has been pushed in the tracks by the mentally disturbed homeless people that lurk aroound in the train station. I never stand to close to the edge to look for the train when there are people behind me never! All I mean is that even in countries not considered third world, even in the richest nation in the world you have a good chance of getting hurt while you visit and cnn and bbc should remember to broadcast that.

Yes you are right cnn does that from time to time. But there are alot of programs that try to display the beauty of Africa and encourage tourism. I never had negative views about Africa in it's entirety, but then again that's not how I was raised. I also had two very good African Professors in Undergrad. They shed alot of light which may have cultivated my views. Here in America we have our government to be ashamed of as well. BBC and CNN cant deny that this country is ran by an evil tyrant who tries to exploit all the nations he percieves as the weaker ones! So who the hell cares about what america thinks? Our government never practices what it preaches. It you come here be careful cuz you might be shot dead by police mistaking your wallet for a gun and firing 41 times all because you happen to be a black man! Then beware of the mentally disturbed homeless people that wait in the train stations to push you onto the tracks in front of moving trains.
They need to report things of this sort on CNN.

You are absolutely right terracotta but Rastafarians believe in something totally different and then there are those who wear them as afashion statement. Many of the people who sport the locks do not know or understand the roots of locks. You speak of it's origin based on your own culture i think. But it seems as though the person who started this thread said his friend is Jamaican and Nigerian. Jamaicans were responsible for the wide spread awareness of Rastafarianism. Bob Marley was one. Remember his hair? There a tons of Japanese Rastafarians as well who sport these locks and practice the way of life. I've met quite a few here in nyc! There are also white Rastafarians! You can see them all over Williamsburg and Central Park! Now I'm sure that your definition of Dada was accurate in Nigerian culture but Rastafarianism which stemmed from Ethiopia might have a totally different definition and explanation for locks. Many Japanese are very in tune with Jamaican culture and models of these lock stood outto them through the Rastafarian movement. The whites have the same reasons for sporting them most of the time.

life ahead of me,,,,,,,correction

Make sure you seek your own best interest. He is certainly seeking his own Anothaviv and that is unfair and cruel treatment for someone you love! Yeah when you forgive and forget that gives you cool points for judgement day but while you are alive and well, why put yourself through all the trouble and all the stress! Bad things happen to good people by chance sometimes but many times, good people allow the bad to make them suffer. I have my whole live ahead of me I have to remain happy to raise happy growing children. I will never stay with a chronic cheater! That is out of the question!

That's hot I saw the website! Cool!

ooooo looks like fun. i hope they sell dvd's of the show here in nyc. i'd definitely buy!

bump

I think this is an interesting topic. Worth discussing!

My parents are from the Islands and they believe in alot of heavy spanking. I remember growing up feeling thatthe beatings were pointless. Where my parents are from they believe in spanking if the child only looks at them the wrong way.

@ Obamedo
I agree with you 100%
Many parents spank without talking to a child and explaining why what they did was wrong. The spanking is useless then. It only teaches violence and helps to foster resentment.

Clearly, this man is placing this woma that he cheated with and is probably still cheated with in front of you and your emotions!

He does not love you. He just does not want to lose you as it would break his manhood.

It seems he uses this art of juggling two women as validation of his manhood.

He only dangles her over your head in conversation to keep you in the place in which he wants you: Groveling at his feet, pleading with him, submissive, his pet.

If you marry this man you will suffer from years of instability, insecurity, feelings of inadequacy, and pure torture.

You will be cooking, cleaning, washing, and making love to a man who will not be making love to you!

He does not love you. He is trying to enslave you.  Don't you see he shows no remorse for what he has done. He is a jerk. Leave now while you're still young and vibrant and get with a real man.

Find a man who will love, respect, and cherish you. A man who will show you he loves you with actions not with words. We women often fall victim to the magic of words and that is just ridiculous.

I say, "You love me? So show me? I need to see this love not hear this love." Hearing something does not make it valid. These things we hear are intangible pieces of useless information.

How are you showing someone you love them by cheating on them 3 times and they have the nerve to throw it back up in the persons face time and time again. You have to corroborate your words with actions!

It's a done deal! Hands down, he is a joke and a loser. If you stick with him this is what your union would be. A downward spiral of uneccessary torture.

How can you focus on your career or raising your children while being preoccupied with the depression cultivated by the actions of a useless, adulterous husband?

Here where I come from, blacks are known for beating their children. In public too! But American laws try to place restraints on they severity of disciplinary actions of parents. A child can call the cops and some parents get thier children taken away and placed into foster care.
I do notice that when I was in school, the black children were always the most violent. I wonder if there is a corre;ation between corporal punishment and violent acts of a child.

Oh and I meant to say I do not believe corporal punishment is the proper way to instill values into a child. a lil typo there.

I don't really believe in corporal punishment but it seems as though some children only respond to spankings. However, I believe that this is the way to instill values into a child. Beating them only creates fear not respect. I got spankings from my Mom and I turned out fine but I also know people who never got spanked and they turned out fine too? Is it really neccessary then?