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my mouth is watering for a Ford Raptor (Special Edition)

Goahead:
What if she happened to be Nairalander and have also read this

Lol, she should just do what the girl did too so we get equal

Let me first copy that message and send to one girl .

This happens to me till date.. Sometimes when am somewhere or doing something. Could be just about anything or event, I'll just feel av been in that moment, situation, scene or environment before. The faces and things i see wont just be new to me.. There is always an unusual feeling of the body during this time. What i do usually is i try to close my eyes and think if maybe it was in a dream or how come things seems to be repeating, I would get short flash backs that i dont even understand but similar to the present. Whatever i can pick from there, i do it reality. If i see myself leaving a certain place in the flashback, I will immediately get out of where i am. Or from the flashbacks I will just know if someone am meeting is up to evil or good.

naijaboiy:
i don't like shy/introverted girls

Many of them are boring!

They pretend a lot and are too secretive!

You can't even predict them cos they are like green snakes under the green grass.

They are simply a "NO NO" for me

Agreed Not All but..

Most are boring because they pretend, and they are very very secretive.

They cheat more and are very sneaky, they never talk directly to the point

They dont forgive easily bcs they tend to hold alot of things within them, they payback when u wrong them silently or in other ways u might not even know.... rather than an extrovert that will face you with questions to know whats up.

They are easy to be manipulated and brainwashed

They are hard to study or predict

A silent guy is better than a silent lady

Some women will show even more and the moment you take that step forward feeling confident.. The first thing you will hear is ah ahn, kilode. sho gbadun "

myola777:
who is Ayiri again o? the only Ayiri we used to know in yoruba land is person who is getting mad

Koko88:
I'm too nice... Friends call me father christmas and many of them take me for granted. They call only when they need something from me!

Maybe you dont have real friends. But yet, if you are a natural giver and whatever you are giving comes from your mind and you dont regret your actions after, then you are not doing anything wrong.

ihedinobi2:
Nice one, OP. Pun intended

One thing a man should never be is permissive by default. That is not manly at all. And that is essentially what people call being nice. A man is a leader, thus he should be assertive.

However, assertive just because is what being a jerk is about. A jerk is assertive just because he can be. There's no thought in his head for what the cost of his assertiveness could be to the person he's dealing with.

Women will always be attracted to men who exude that confidence that makes men assertive. That feeling that someone knows what they're doing is what makes people want to follow them. The same dynamic works between women and men. A woman will typically follow a man who projects a sense of "having it together", a sense of indomitability.

Niceness does not have to mean permissive. It should simply mean "considerate about other people's well-being and of the effect of one's power on others". In fact, that is actually what it means. But in a world where selfishness APPEARS to be the rule, this automatically sounds like wimpiness, permissiveness to a lot of ears. It isn't.

For men, be nice, that is, be good. But don't sacrifice good principles that you hold and which define you merely to please people. Note that niceness is not a principle, it is an attitude, a behavior you show to others especially those who in one way or another are weaker than you.

For women, be nice too. But don't sacrifice good principles you hold merely to make some guy happy. If a man cares about you, it is because he loves your principles. Any other claim is not really worth listening to.

I totally agree. And most times.. lack of confidence, fear and low self esteem will push people to the corner of being too nice. Meaning they would do anything to please others to avoid being talked about or to look perfect. They they get tagged. Quiet, easy going and people with soft voices fall more victims.

The moment you know or feel someone is trying to be selfish or taking advantage of any of your good deeds, Know that you have crossed the line of sacrificing your good principles.

Divorce is the only way out in your situation. No matter who you take your wife to for counseling or whatever is done to calm the storm, It will only be for a while. People always say that nothing is impossible and people do change, not in all circumstances. She has jumped that fence many times, she knows the in and out already, if a situation comes up, She will jump it again!! You can never compare with someone who hasnt got the heart and confidence to go that far (Take your time and find a better woman). She can only pretend to be changed for a while, but she will go back to that, and that time, it might be too late for you to start a new life, thats even if you are still alive. Going ahead with your wife is a big Risk.

Of course you saw the signs earlier and know the kind of woman she is, but in this kind of situations and with many other people out there, you overlooked character and got carried away with beauty or good sex.

Run my brother and find a way to take care of your child and spend time together. Dont stay bcs of the child. Its more harm for a child to witness abusive parenting. One day the child will be mature enough to know everything about the past and chose who he/she wants to be with and get closer to. Be a good father as much as you can and let any woman you will be moving on with know and be able to accept your package.

Goodluck!

Deejay1000:
@Op i think u just described evrything about me damn sometimes i hate myslf for being nice more advice bro @

,

"If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always had." Keep this at the back of your mind when any situation comes up, then do otherwise of your usual self. It could be challenging at first and upfront but afterwards you will feel something good and proud of yourself.. Stop thinking "People will get angry at me." "People will think I'm selfish." "I'll be alone.""What if everyone lived this way?"


Dont put a woman on a pedestal and attempt to win their approval, sooner or later, this adoration will turn to rage when these objects of worship fail to live up to your expectations. Then the harder you try, the more complicated it gets.

Learn to say NO, this is very important, even to your male friends. Your change will make them talk about you and dislike the new you for some time. But stick to a policy of being selfish. Dont give more than you take. Including phone calls, replying to messages etc. Intentionally put your phone on silent mode sometimes so you take some time to reply to messages..this will make you seem busy and not too available.

iceberylin:
Being nice has a 77% possibility of landing you in the Friend-zone

Exactly why nice people are full of rage, thinking they should be getting as much as they give

LETS MAKE THIS THREAD A DISCUSSION TO HELP THE NICE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO CANT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY KEEP GETTING TREATED BADLY AND NOT APPRECIATED IN RETURN''

SHARE YOUR ENCOUNTER WITH SOMEONE WHO YOU THINK WAS BEING TOO NICE, WHAT PUTS YOU OFF AND HOW YOU EXPECT HE/SHE COULD HAVE ACTED[i][/i]

ABOUT THEM AND WHAT THEY THINK:

Nice people are concerned about looking good and doing it "right."

They are happiest when they are making others happy.

Nice people avoid conflict like the plague and will go to great lengths to avoid upsetting anyone.

Nice people are peaceful and generous.

Nice people are especially concerned about pleasing men/women and being different from other men/women.

Nice people believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, they will in return be happy, loved, and fulfilled.

If a person has a problem, has a need, is angry, depressed or sad, you will frequently attempt to solve or fix the situation (usually without being asked).

Nice people often make their partner their emotional center. Many Nice people report that they are
only happy if their partner is happy.

DOWNSIDE and EFFECT

This attempt to be good typically involves trying to eliminate or hide certain things about themselves (their mistakes, needs, emotions) and become what they believe others want them to be (generous, helpful, peaceful, etc.) and this leads to WHY THEY GET HURT

They start to hide or distract attention from any perceived shortcoming.(Including true lies and being secretive)

Failing to live up their full potential.

Disassociating themselves from people of same sex.

Creating situations in which they do not have very much good sex.(can't get or maintain an erection, climaxes too quickly, not expressive)

Becoming too good to be true to people which will put many people off.

Loosing their challenging power and esteem.

Becoming a wimp and always think they are a victim.

Addictions to drugs or alcohol. secret sexual addictions to pornography, masturbation, fantasy, chat lines, or hookers.

Many Nice people have a hard time saying "no," "stop," or "I'm going to."

You seek approval from others. Everything you do or say is at some level calculated to gain someone's approval or avoid disapproval. Especially true in your relationships.

SOLUTION

Because Nice people tend to be very black and white in their thinking, the only alternative they can see to being nice is becoming "bastards" or "jerks which is wrong. It is more dangerous to change who you are and there is a way to be not too much of a nice person which is ' BEING INTEGRATED. Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one's self. An integrated person is able to embrace everything that makes him/her unique: power, assertiveness, courage, passion as well as his imperfections, mistakes, and dark side.

Start working to posses the following attributes:

● Strong sense of self. Like yourself for who you are.
● Do what is right, not what is expedient.
● Be clear, direct, and expressive of feelings.
● Be nurturing and giving without caretaking or problem-solving.
● Know how to set boundaries and is not afraid to work through conflict.
● Learn to say no and dont be too available or wanting............

myself

Being Nice is a good thing brother, dont be discouraged or try to change yourself to be bad. Most ladies seeking out to the bad guys always come to regret that decision at a point in time when the dating game is going too long and they need to settle down. Then they start looking for that niceness they once tossed away. You simply have the trait of a family oriented guy and that will pay you off maybe not now, but later while married to one of the few mature ladies out there. It actually takes alot to be nice than to be bad. Ladies who appreciate the nice guys are ambitious too.

Ladies who want the bad guys are players/fun seekers, they avoid the nice guys because they see him as a trap for commitment which they are not ready for, Yet they might keep him on the sideline as the emotional back-up, using you to move on from a bad guys heartbreak to the next.

Be nice but dont over do it(don't be a girlie man), Be Integrated and dynamic; Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one's self. An integrated man is able to embrace everything that makes him uniquely male: his power, his assertiveness, his courage, and his passion as well as his imperfections, his mistakes, and his dark side.

Try this, if you get a chance to meet up with her again, have a disagreement arrangement with a friend to call you while shes there. Talk aggressively, bluntly and manly to the person on the phone, make her feel some pressure. Trust me from there things will start changing.

February 24