₦airaland Forum

they said i should come and pay my subscription which ordinarily should expire on the 17th, anyway would give dat a trial and if it doesnt work, head would surely roll

Abeg, who wan my hitv, terrestial cable plus, 20k

fake ass wenger!

make dem enjoy, u know when we go winam again?

u guys seems to be making progress, mine is still same, i never get time decide wetin i wan do sef, maybe to dash or sell it out

Na wao, going thru all these stress, i think might need to dump it for now, wish they even fold up

@Medube

I stay in lagos, d funny thing was dat when i put it one dis evening it showed for like 2mins and lol no access again, why are they not admitin there's a general prob n must one come to their office for it to be rectified? Na wao, i see dem runing out of biz soon.

Scenario 1

Akpors, a Niger Delta militant, calls call centre over his recharge card

Agent: Akpors, please represent each letter with any word of ur choice so that I can understand what u mean

Akpors: Bros, abeg help me do am. I go call am well well so that u go understand

Agent: Ok, go on then.

Akpors: N

Agent: For Nigeria
Akpors: Yes bros. G

Agent: For Ghana
Akpors: Yes bros. P

Agent: For petrol

Akpors: Bros, wetin u talk now?

Agent: I said P for petrol. Akpors’ voice rises in anger

Akpors: So una think say una wise abi? I wan call , Shell Petroleum go block am, abi wetin concern us with petrol? Anyway, make I just inform u say di reason why I bin wan call una na to tell u say we don kidnap 3 of ur oyinbos o. Go tell ur oga wetin I tell u now. I no go call again cos I don already send u to dem………………,



Scenario 2

Yinka, who just suffered a heartbreak, calls call centre over her recharge card. As the discussion progresses, the network begins to fluctuate and the agent calls Yinka’s attention to it.

Agent: Yinka, I can hardly understand what u are saying. You are breaking up; pls…………. Yinka quckly interrupts

Yinka: Haba! You should at least listen to my own side of the story! So, Kola has fed u lies about me, shey? Infact, we broke up last week. What did he tell u about me? But u are a lady like me now. Just pray u don’t fall into the hand of someone like him. He’s……………………, Story! Story!!



Scenario 3

A chieftain of a political party calls Call Centre over his recharge card. The agent tries explaining how the serial number should be called, but the party chieftain does not understand. However, the agent realizes that someone in the background seems to have an idea of how to call the serial number. So:

Agent: Sir, there’s someone with u over there who seems to have an understanding of what I’m talking about

Party Chief: Yes, there’s someone here with me. He’s my P.A

Agent: Pls give the phone to the other party so that he can call the serial number for me

Party Chief: Which party? Ohhhhhh! U have become their campaign manager, right? It has gotten to this stage, eh? I bought a card with my money but can’t load it cos I belong to a rival party. U pple will be dealt with appropriately. I’m sure u are only posing as an agent, u must have routed this call to ur national headquarters. U can be sure that all the national dailies will write about this barbaric, animalistic, cannibalistic, and politically lethargic action…………………………


TO BE CONTINUED!

It’s so funny how quickly ‘harmless’ English words become a major source of worry in Missing PIN! I mean, words that would ordinarily have registered a general meaning become so confusing that even the agents laugh at the end of such conversations. Let’s check out the conversations below:

Conversation A

A medical doctor, who has had a bad day, calls over a badly scratched recharge card. The call is answered by an agent who has just spent 12 minutes solving a query.

Agent: May I know your name please?

Caller: My name is Dr. Olumide

At that point, Dr. Olumide is interrupted by a third party, and the agent gets agitated

Agent: Dr. Olumide, u are still on call

Dr.: No, I’m not.

Agent: But u are still talking to me

Dr.: That’s because I’m not on call

Agent: (Now really irritated) If u are not on call, how come u are still speaking with me

Dr.: Look, whatever u call ur name, if I was on call, I wouldn’t be speaking with u!

Agent: Dr. Olumide, I think it’s insulting for u to refer to me as ‘whatever’. Surely, can be more polite than this!!

Dr.: Look, I don’t care how u feel. I thought u were educated.

Agent: And I thought u were medical doctor

Dr.: Of course I am. But if are really educated, u would know that doctors are busy to make phone calls when they are on call

Agent: I’ve had enough of ur insults sir, and may have to end ur call.

Dr.: U are a fool! U can’t end my call. Who are u to end my call. U are not my boss!

Agent: QA, the caller is uncooperative and abusive. I’m ending this call!!! Thank u for choosing…, Why am I even thanking you? …I’m ending the call Dr. whatever!!!!!!



The Gist: to an agent ‘being on call’ means ‘solving a query via telephone conversation’. But to a medical doctor, ‘being on call’ means ‘being on duty’!!!! Una see the wahala?



Conversation B

Tunde, an ‘educated’ subscriber calls over a badly scratched recharge card, and after the exchange of pleasantries explanation of what to do, the following conversation ensued:

Tunde: N

Agent: N for what?

Tunde: N for Nigeria
Agent: Ok

Tunde: ‘G’ for Ghana
Agent: Ok

Tunde: ‘W’ for ‘What’ (PS: W starts the word ‘WHAT’!)

Agent: W for what?

Tunde: W for ‘what’ now!

Agent: That’s what I’m asking u. U are the one with the card. W for what?

Tunde: yes, W for ‘what’

Agent: Tunde, pls u are becoming uncooperative. U may have to end ur call and call us back when u are ready

Tunde: I’m ready. Pls let’s go on!

Agent: Ok then. After G for Ghana , what do u have?

Tunde: W

Agent: W for what?

Tunde: Yes now! ‘W’ for ‘what’!

Agent: (Inhales deeply to control his anger). Tunde, pls take ur card to a business centre agent who can help u call the serial number properly. Thank you for calling……,



Check this out:

If ur landlord/landlady calls customer care and asks that a certain badly scratched recharge card be loaded into ur girlfriend/boyfriend’s phone, what would you do?

na waoh, dis victory na something else ooo. very soon dem go say make dem represent us for nations cup

@Medube,

It seems u guys av resolved ur own issue, me am not dat techy to understand d stuff u guys are talking about, got thru to their helpline after like a thousand trial and funny d guy didnt any fault of theirs, saying i should be my receipt of payment to their office, i cant imagine mess they've put me thru.

So why are they shyin away from the truth, i eventually got thru to their helpline and d guy acted as if it was my subscription dat expired, Told him when i paid of which he admited that the system to check was down dat i should call him 2mrw to confirm, He eventually gave me a personal num to reach him after i told him dat the helpline was difficult to get thru, want to see d excuse they would give next,

@ Medube,
If their over-d-air activation is not working then they shld be airing free until they put their house in order, My fear is that there would surely be an upward review of their subscptn soon. WATCH OUT!!

@tkb417

Tell them make them hear!!! those would rule d world

abeg make una no start we age again, afterall dis aint age group competition, do u think if our girls are younger we would still win the tourney?

@tommyex
what makes u say dat

B4 nko. do think is the best team dat always win a tourney? It's a team with luck and determination which i think our boys had, talking about technicality, hmm i dont think we had dat, d Germans had dat but didnt work for them, d spanish had dat but didnt also work for them, but i think if the matches were to be rescheduled with those two countries, dont think we'll carry d day,

No mind dem, do u think d Tella guy would be able to instil discipline in our Superless Eagles? And NFA might be thinkin of redraftin him to the Super Eagles now,

D girls i saw 2day, hmmm. leave my comment until after our next match

what do u think are their chances of making it beyond d group stages? Think we've got d Americans and North Koreans to play against, Hmmmm

@Duduspace,
My grouse with them is at least they cld just provide an explanation on this and what is the way forward when one can't get thru to their helpline for almost 5days, How did u get urs to be working or did d problem just resolved itself?

@Medube
My installer seems confused himself and many pple he did the installation for are on his neck, Infact, my phone is permanently plugged to light while tryin their helpline, We atleast, an apology from them, and how to resolve d issue dats all.

@Medube
What is Installer? Am not using a promo option and mine is not working still, dont know if u r using the satellite option cos my neighbor is using one and he' not having any probs with his, Funny av not been able to get thru 2 their helpline since fri,

Common guys, let look at the good things, remember his goal against Man. U? dat was one victory i can't forget last season, even if he pisses me off but still thnk Wenger knows what he sees in the lad. I hope

If him like make he play for Enyimba na him choice, dont give a damn about him and dont even want him in our national team

I want to host dem infact, i wish

If anythin go happen to our victory, am sure wont be surprised if one Naija go suggest to FIFA say make dem carry out d bone test, useless bad badbelle pple, make nobody paste anything without link again just becos u want notice

i suggest hitv close shop and give the right back to dstv, It's better to cough out 9k and enjoy all the services than pay 4k for epileptic one,

Bros u've just written what i was about saying dis morning, we are experiencing the same problem although am an older subsccriber than u (been suffering with them for the past 3months now), Am on the cable option and since Fri morning it's been showing 'no access' or 'scrambled channels'. Funny, when u switch it off for sometime and then put it on u get to see signal and then watch for like 2mins, It's so funny that one couldnt get to their helpline and all their ogas' phones are either switched off or not picking, Those pple are bunch of liars and theives who are ready to rob us in broad day light, Just a simple IVR message on their helpline or website explaining the problem would go a long way in dousing the tension. Initially thot someone was trying to lock me out cos am always dissing them on the internet. Was planning on going to their office with the dish and decoder and slaming it on the nearest oga's head , Let me wait and see the theiving plans they have when my subscription expires on the said date, Funny enough, all the pple who promotes them are nowhere to be found, MAKE UNA WARN HITV OOOOOO

i pity all of una wey dey think say whitemen na saint, they are only technologically dubious n cheat dats d difference; na wetin dem take pass us, if u dont know now u know, pple who would never see anythin good in our victory. As far as am concerned those boys are under 17 until somebody proves to me beyond all reasonable doubt dat they r not,

do u ave proof?

Una never allow dis matter rest about over age, Henceforth, if una no get proof make una keep quiet, HABA dis hypocrisy is too much now

Abi oo. Let the party continue, when was d last time Nigerians enjoyed victory like dis