₦airaland Forum

Better use fresh pepper to rub continously on the tip. This will prevent ache and romantism

Does those looked liking perfected Englishes to you. After all the times i was wasted taughting you.

No be everybody recession dey affect. Some are building houses and buying tear rubber cars. Some of us are too blessed above recession.

Let the mechanic increase the engine work and lets see.

Why not be specific in your demand?

@lightwalk, ok. when dem discharge u 4 yaba left.

@naijagal, missing kevin or a share of d 200k dollars?

@lightbrain

How u dey? When dem release you?

I have a Toyota 95/96 model to trade with ur passat.

Could add some cash.

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Glad to be drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
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Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city.
Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.
He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying,
and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one
has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into
it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was, God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Generous lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful
lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to
give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a
long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um , no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless
with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea, "

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies , (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon,

Demon: Why so glum chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here, you a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks.
Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab, and fresca, we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great.

Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it! Love the smoking.
Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy: Wow, that's, awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling.
Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever, If you go Bankrupt, well you're dead anyhow.

Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean,
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy: Uh no.

Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

nice update on mzamo. can we also get how other housemates were received at their respective countries?

@ilugunboy, no vex my man. i go show. really need 2 hook up with some interesting peeps there.

na wao. aston villa raping man united defence front and back.

dis thread is still aliving? u meant u guys cld nt spake english up till nw. am disappointing.

Island ke? anywhr on d mainland is ok.

Why are the babes not responding?

Where is Isaac John? And time?

It was kinda short but trust our fortune seeking, lip licking midget superstar 2 make it lively. He was askd how he felt being a winner, like Obama ws his reply. He was commended 4 his humility and 4 making Nigerians proud. Kevin also thanked nairalander 4 voting him. lol. just kidding. He thanked d whole nigerians 4 standing by him and promised 2 remain in naija and do exploit. trust d guy, he didnt run down anybdy lik sm ppl wld do.

Did anybody watch Kevin's interview on AM Express this morning? The guy is simply likeable. God Bless you my man. Never regretted wasting my airtime and valuable time voting for you.

Thanks for your response.

It takes time before it boots and if eventually it comes on, the pictures hangs and restarts intermittently. It started after i experienced a power surge.

Hello House,

Who can assist? Thanks in advance.

I have raised 920k now. Will u let it fly?

What year is the ride and where is it located for possibly inspection?

And is the ride clean as it looks on picture? Post more smaller pics if possible?

750k?

yeah! she shld av won wit her 200 votes. na our fault say make she misbehave. and wat makes u thnk all nigerians represent bad thngs. if kevin ws a bad rep, do u thnk d young nigerians will support him?

nice cool ride. Goodluck in the sales.

I wont be suprised if this mumu didnt even watch the show. Maybe because he just heard that she is Igbo and is jumping to support her. If u truly watched then u wont have been making senseless posts in her support. On the other hand, i wont be shocked. Few people have similar traits.

I am surely going for the next audition for BB5. Hope you guys will support me just like we did for Kevin when I make it to the House?