₦airaland Forum

A couple woke up one morning and started arguing about who brews the coffee. The wife told her hubby "since you

wake up early, you will be brewing the coffee every morning so i dont have to wait".

The husand replied "cooking is part of your chores so i should not be doing your work for you, so you'll brew the coffee

every morning". The wife then replied "even the bible talks about the husand brewing the coffee ". "wheere in the

bible?" asked the husband.

"HEBREWS"

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Wale is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, "

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

"He was wrecking my house."

are you kidding me?
i've seen this time without number,please delete the post plssssssss efore people see it

stop adding to people's probs they want to laugh thats why they are here not to cry. would u mind puttin it in the " shove it up ur arse" section

oh oh!

not all jokes make u laugh.

start from the begining. lexicorn didnt get it right. just change one of the two syllabi. e.g. al/fred to al/mond al/mond to des/mond.

tufe you can do it. pls dont give up

@chioya &whoever

chioya you again. i said it will make you smile and not laugh. ENGLISH. I'm pretty sure other people will smile if u've turned urself into stonecold dat is a taboo for you to smile.

Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!

What kind of a storm is always in a rush?
A Hurry Cain!

Why are there gates around graveyards?
Because everybody is DYING to get in!

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
Because he was out standing in his field!

What do you get when you a cross a vampire with a snowman?
Frostbite!

What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved!

What room has no walls?
A mushroom!

Who was the best dancer at the monster dance?
The boogie man!

@chioya &@ adekennis

hey peabrains, just because your I.Q. is below 15 does not mean you can still learn how to talk to people, leave the brilliant chaps to do it. Thanx.

not pumpin machine, keep tryin peep, d answer will be out sometime

nice two, let me add to the questions
ever wondered

why do they use lemon flavours for lemon drinks and lemon juices for washing liquids?

why sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin?

why a man who invests all your money is called a broker?

why ladies cant put on mascarra with their mouth closed?

why you have to click on start to stop windows?

wht doctors call what they do practise?

why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?

not house fly

did u hear about the fatest woman that her shadow weighs 150 pounds {68 kg}

its not cash

lets see what u can come up with, change only one syllable in the word to form another one

Alfred

Almond

Desmond,

what is the name of a mushroom that goes into the bar and buys everybody beer?

jagbajagba

gbogbo

kini

hey peabrain pervert, this room is for jokes. i know say u go skool atleast for using internet, or u know do new words for skool, JOKE

mine is i love you talk ur own

ogunribido

seyi agbalumo

alanta moses

ade fegbeyagbe

okonji

nwokosa

just give a name of someone or thing that look like him or it

snoop dogg

pafun

bread

doughnut

phelex:
o ga ooooooooo

really

bullshit

give the dog a bone so it may smile atleast, put sauce on the one abeg

roll it