₦airaland Forum

I av bin married for one year now and i av a 5months old baby, i seem to av a little problem with myself and my hubby sex life, and i feel some matured minds are ere to contribute. My hubby has d kind of job dat doesnt av public holidays or off days or weekend off. He works all day and all nights. Cos of my baby i demand for sex at her sleep hours, nd then to my hubby its d wrong time, many times i go to bed b4 him nd he comes to bed when am fast asleep latest is 3am. And if he manages to take a break he will only watch naruto. However he has his way of demanding for sex when he needs it. And u know we dare not say no whether u r in d mood or not. Am i unecesarilly worried. And if not what can i do. Trust me he isnt cheating so dats out of it

eze moses: its natural for him not to want Bleep you because you are pregnant. don't you know that sex is for relationships and not for marriage. you are yet to feel Hot for the rest of your life o as it will only get worse from now. Big Vjj

D most stupid response ever

BIGVAJINA: i am soaked in sweat as i type this fellow nairalanders. ever since i became pregnant, my husband,s attitude has changed drastically. he no longer kisses me, hugs me nor eats with me. in the night, its worst. i beg him to make lov to me, but he wouldnt. what do i do?

He is only scared of hurting d baby. It takes a strong man to sleep with u while preggy. But he will come around, u just dont stop looking sexy, nd may be u doing some things that turn him off u should work in that, but try as much as possible to always smell good, look good, cos he has to touch u ooo, cos by d time d baby is born no touching 4 him till after ur postpertum. So do wat u gotta do now

Enegod: if your bf/gf cant fart or burp in front of you...dont trust the persn

@ op dis is d answer u need ignore every other.

Creamz: I have been the angry, unsatisfied and bitter wife for the last nine years. I’m married to a man who has absolutely no respect for the marriage institution. He has had more girlfriends than I have changed my hair since we got married.
He started cheating on me months after our wedding in 2004 when I was pregnant. And it hasn't stopped ever since. Every other day a different girl, a different situation, a lot of drama. Initially he would lie or try to cover up when I ask him questions or catch him but now he tells me to go to hell and leave the marriage if I was no longer satisfied.
Well, I have four kids and I don't plan to be a single mother in this kind of environment so I'm staying put in my marriage but I'm done being the victim. Yes, I have started cheating on my husband. I am proud to say I have a boyfriend who I have regular, satisfying sex with. And I have absolutely no plans of being the faithful wife ever again. Once this affair ends, I'm starting a new one. There's no going back now. As long as he's cheating on me, I will be cheating on me. I smile a lot these days and it's not just Jesus putting the smile on my face. This is the happiest I have been in at least 8 years. And I also discovered that quite a number of my female friends have been cheating on their husbands for years now. Why didn't anyone give me the memo sooner? Just thought to share my happy story. Xoxo Happy Lagos wife.

SOURCE: http://www.mynaijagist.com/i-cheated-on-my-husband-and-i-plan-to-continue/

My advice, if u r ere nd u r married please learn from this . What dis woman is going tru is very serious. My opinion to u madam u should be a good example to ur children, leave dat useless man of urs to keep swimming in sin. Let karma nd judgement catch up with him. This shall not be the portion of anyone of us with good marriages, may God repair what has broken in this home. Amen

acidtalk: This is the MOST STUPID advice I have read this year.

Are you insane or just trying to be funny? Coming from a supposed woman I am shocked! Well maybe you are either a lesbian and don't know the importance of a man and real love in a woman's life or you are a perpetual cheat.


Poster, I will give you the most blunt and honest reply I can think of.

First of all I will go against my Rule number 1 in relationship which is "Never involve a 3rd party into your affairs either in good or bad times".


But in this particular scenario, I will tell you to first of all sit him down and find out if he thinks openly cheating on you whenever you check his phone makes him feel better. Let him know cheating in a marriage (or relationship) is totally not acceptable and is is really hurting you but him goind the extra mile to openly cheat on you is like him stabbing you in the heart.

If he doesn't change, involve his parents, siblings and close friends and make sure you provide them with evidence (I.e text messages he sent out).


If after 3 months he hasn't change then sit him down once more and let him know the NEXT TIME HE TRIES SUCH WITH YOU AGAIN YOU WILL ALSO CHEAT ON HIM WITHOUT FEELING REMORSE.

This is your life and health we are talking about. Is it until he gives you STD before you will know marriage isn't by force?

Why are some women so desperate in getting married and staying in an abusive marriage?

Got ur point quite alright but wat has desperation got to do with marriage, wat am experiencing isnt new compares to wat others r going through

Connoisseur: Even though he has a right to be angry about you picking his phone, cheating would be like using an ax on a child cos he broke a teacup.
Although there could be another dimension to this story; what if he just plants these msgs knowing fully well you would go check.

I feel so too, but also looks too real

joeydozzy: yeah, it's wrong to pick up his phone but he's cheating on you, GODDAMIT

LEAVE THE MORAFUCKER

I am married to him

SLIDE waxie: If he's clean, u wldnt av found anything discriminating on is phone.
Since wen did it became wrong to be sure? Since wen pickin up ur bf, gf, wife or hubby's phone became a wrong thing. Some people needs to fess up and accept the fact dt they are hidding something instead of hidding behind the needle of 'not acceptable', or tryin to pin insecurity syndrome on the 'culprit'.
If u forgot a word, try to see a meaning to a word, try to be sure abt it, dnt u pick up ur books, dictionary, or search the web for certainty?

OP, jes like me, ur hubby is a born-cheater! You are not doing anyting wrong!

I remember how i used to cheat to the face of ma gfs then wen we fight! I was a kid then, and i can't even fathom why i do dt since i stopped! I jes realized it hurts the girls 100times more then i wanted to hurt them, so i stopped 'doing it to their knwldge'.

I dnt see ma gf often, but wen she's coming, i clean up ma phone includin d delivery reports cos i knw at her spare time, my phone is hers.
Though she got it, that i aint clean, but she accepted d fact dt sometimes, ignorance is a bliss!!!!

Ur hubby won't stop cheatin, but my advice: dnt reciprocate. If u were ever a good girl!

Ofcourse not, am a goos girl

Charles Shaw: It's ur Fault cos i see u as a very Nagging woman who makes the home very hostile for ur hubby.
Even if u suspect ur hubby is cheating, talk to him about it in a cool nd mien manner, not barking like a dog like u women always do. Show him love nd Respect nd quit touching his phone.

I can bet u cheat on ur woman, cos i am suprised at ur concludion like u were dere

I like picking my hubby's phone cos each time i do i find him doing something wrong. Picking his phone is my weakness though nd he knows, i cant just help it am an addicted phone picker nd he is aware of this. Everytime i pick up his phone or say something about what i found on his phone he always calls a female friend and d next thing i find him doing is he is planning on cheating, on 2 ocassions dis has happened, nd its always 1 hr or less away from d time we had issues over me picking his phone. The first time he sent a msg to an ex that he misses her pussy" Nd wants to see her dat evening. The second time he is booking an appointment with a girl in a hotel room nd denies his family is over seas. Is all dis my fault, i know i shouldnt pick his phone but is it enough for him to go dis far? Note dat i dont nag him, nd i also Ask him to give me time to work on my weakness of picking his phone.

Princess zoe: Mr. Man you are not serious. This is one of the major reasons why marriages crash. Both of you are one flesh. Both of you have equal right. You are the stronger sex and vessel while she is the weaker one so take a lead and she will follow suit. Be a good man, stop feeling too big or lording over her. The relationship btw a man and his wife is not like that of a master and his slave. Is not easy for a woman to carry a child nine months, deliver, train and equally help the husband in contributing financially. Respect that woman. Honour her. As for passwording, the two of you should dessist from
wit, you are guilty of it too, "He who comes to equity, must come with a clean hand".

Wise saying

Truckpusher: Mistake number one was digging into her past after marriage ,unless she gave you a wrong signal that made you to embark on this fruitless ,painful and wasteful journey.

If she's innocent of what i stated above, but with your twisted mind and stupidity that knows no boundary you decided to dig up her past after marriage then you're so insecure and you're marriage is about to hit the rock.

Finally ,on a lighter note ...if you feel cheated by her past sexcapade then go drink anafralin,viagra and all the gbogbotigbo and bleep the hell out of her..... the problem is, that place na rubber you no go fit break am

You are mean ooo. But thanks anyways

Tashamania: Awwww! This is too sad.

Just sit her down and talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel about the wholestuff. Ask her how she would feel if you were doing same. I'm sure there are things she would wanna let you in on. Maybe there's something she would wanna talk to you about. To sum it up, just have a heart-to-heart talk with her

I have password on my phone too and she doesnt even know my pAssword, sometime ago she was also in dis shoes, but am a man i have a right to passwords but i dont think as a woman she should be doing all that

Scarpon: follow this step if u think she is the stubborn one follow this step.
WARNING: with caution ohh

Thanks NL got all d answers i need. God bless you all

adconline: Funny enough, folks want to share password but not bank accounts...lol

Got wat i need. Thanks guys

CAMEROONPRIDE: Kill yourself

b
Funny

mysticgal: ur marriage will come down if after ur research,it's less satisfying..u are paranoid,y dont u keep off d fone 4 a while nd hit on the main point:your wife.

Okay so how do i take up d issue with her, an not suspecting her in anyway, i just feel d idea of her locking her phones means dere is a stranger somewhere, password is for strangers not 2 people dat had bin joined together. My opinion though

Scarpon: what are marriage and vows for ??

So you think couples dont have to put password on their phones right?

Scarpon: seriously if your wife passworded her phone she is keep some thing from you

.
Thank you!!!!! So wat do u advice me to do? Am sad

butta: @ op your wife must be a very dodgy woman for passwording her fone from u I bet u she is hiding somthing from u but don't go nosing into her fone cuz heart attack will catch u

I decided to leave her with her passwords, she said she passworded hee phones to keep me from reading meanings to every detail on her phone.

Whether husband or wife, please is it okay for any to password their phones, what do you think, on my own opinion i think once u married you should be totally open and transparent with each other. What do you all think?

byvan: I wonder what kind of marriages people indulge in these dAys,can't she loose contact with these exes,if it makes her husband paranoid??Why keeping the exes contacts,is that necessary??well nah, una know as una dey take live,may be you chAt with your ex too,if you do,she has a right to retain hers.Marriage is simple but people just love complications,why?......pass word phone ke?



All these you ll give yourself heart ache advice sef,what's wrong with couple going through each others phones.To each his own sha.

Somebody finally gets my point. Y password like am her boyfriend.
I dont av contact of a single ex of mine on my phone.

butta: Hmmm@ op don't bother yourself about her her past and stop being paranoid by looking through her phone u will give urself heart attack by what u might find stop reading her messages before u kill yourself because of a woman because u will end up destroying your family and resent her .

Hmmmmmmm, u right. I refuse to settle for resentment
But really y should anyone in a marriage av details dat will upset d other party on his or her phone. Marriage is all about sacrifice

I always find myself digging into my wife's past, on facebook, nairaland, her phones, she has a really deep and not pleasant past, but yet i still dig and want to know mORE, nd now its affecting my marriage, i always pick her phones now, reAd through them thoroughly, everytime i see her chats with a man or i ex i get worried that she might still be d same old person. So she passworded her phones to keep me from bothering myself unecessarilly cos indeed i bother myself at every instance. NL i want to save my marriage, my fears is about to mess everything up. I love hee very much and dont wanna loose her. One advice from u might save my marriage.

chikk: I got this from 'Solutionz News' page and I felt I should share it. Most relationships fail or don't last because the men don't know the right things to do and the right times to do them! Here are some of the little things that men ignore but actually makes relationships thrive!

*When she walks away from you mad [follow her]
*When she stares at your lips [kiss her]
*When she pushes you or hit's you [grab her and don't let go]
*When starts cursing you [kiss her and tell her you love her]
*When she's quiet
[ask her what's wrong]
*When she ignores you [give her your attention]
*When she pulls away [pull her back]
*When you see her at her worst [tell her she's beautiful]
*When you see her cry [just hold her & don't say a word]
*When you see her walking [sneak up & hug her waist from behind]
*When she's scared [protect her]
*When she lays her head on your shoulder [Tilt her head up & kiss her]
*When she steals your favourite hat [Let her keep it & sleep with it for a night]
*When she teases you [tease her back & make her laugh ]
*When she doesn't answer for a long time [reassure her that everything is okay]
*When she looks at you with doubt [Back yourself up with the TRUTH]
*When she grabs at your hands [hold hers & play with her fingers]
*When she bumps into you [bump into her back & make her laugh ]
*When she tells you a secret [keep it safe & untold]
*When she looks at you in your eyes [don't look away until she does]
*WHEN SHE MISSES YOU [SHES HURTING INSIDE]
*When you break her heart [the pain NEVER really goes away]
*When she says its over [she STILL wants you to be hers

Lmfao,rubbish
If she picks ur phone leave her alone
Allow her read ur textmessages
Give her all ur passwords.

chikk: Keeping a man faithful is not as difficult as it may appear at first. For starters, most of them want to be true to their spouses, but for that extra boost to ensure fidelity, try these steps.

Respect him as you would want him to respect you

Remind him from time to time why he's your man . In other words, take the time to make him feel special as if he's the only one in your life. Tell him how handsome he is every now and then.

Validate your man on a daily basis. Whether he works outside of the house, is currently unemployed or a stay-at-home Dad, (if you're married) your man still needs to feel like a man. You know he is, make sure he knows it as well.

Appreciate all the things he does for you
. It doesn't matter whether those things are big or small, they are worth, at the least, a thank you.

Spice things up every once in a while. Tell him your fantasies, listen to his. Don't be afraid to initiate romance.

Live, love and Laugh. Laugh often with him, not at him. Tell him a joke that you think he might like or clip out comics from the newspaper and place them on the fridge,send text or e-mail messages.

Listen first, and then talk. Let him finish what he has to say before you interrupt. Ask questions if you're not sure about what he said. Do not go with the general notion; all women are nags. Make a difference. Listen more, talk less.

Be his biggest supporter! Men don't like to admit it, but they need reassurances as well. Showing him that you support him and are there with him through day to day struggles will help to ensure that he doesn't have a need for someone else to fill that need.

Don't lose your own self respect. Stop blaming him for everything and understand that some things are beyond your or his control.

Feed him. Men love when a woman cooks for them like mum does. You don't have to cook exactly like her but, it's the action that counts. Women claim men are dogs but remember if you feed a dog he will never leave home!!!

Hold and Cuddle your man, his day can be just as bad as your day. Remember they
are big kids and when they got upset when they were younger, mums held them close.

When leaving him alone make sure he has everything needed. Remember you are
already dressed and ready to go and he is capable of getting those things. It also shows you care about his needs or wants as well.

Don't ever baby him. He will pull away from you. He needs to feel like he's the provider. If you're married, take the family budget to give him what he likes. It's the effort that counts.

Work on yourself. Learn to appear neat and appealing to tour man at all times. Take your time to get those kinky and sexy undies, night wears and dressing that will make him want you more.

Remember, if a man has all he needs in a woman, he will never go looking for another. Be everything your man wants.

Actually it works for some. Even if he cheats, he will never wanna loose u.

SLIDE waxie: I'm going into bizinez with one of ma ex soon, now, so if marry tomorrow(which definately won't be her), i shld cut ties with her?

Dude, i dnt see nothing wrong if we aint fuckin each other, and if ma girl is cool abt it!

.


What if your girl is not cool about it?

Lol mr cork

Hey am new here, and i posted a topic on the romance section. Contributions will highly be appreciated. Tnx

I still didnt get an answer yet mr cork

Dear nairalanders, Please is it wise for a married man to still receive calls from his ex, chat on bb regularly and so on. Dont u feel what they once shared might spark up again after few conversations.