iPopAlomo:



Oga... are you a learner...? it's clear they didn't meet... and it is clear the hubby is way older than the wife... the OP married for money... now she don see the result... make she carry her cross abeg...

if she wanted to call her hubby 'ode' Or throw pillow at him... she should have married her mate or the guy that genuinely loves her...

My husband is 31, am 28.

placeofallure:
Well, I've been married for about the same time as you are. When I first read your story, I wanted to ask if you dated at all but on reading the comments, then your response, asking won't be necessary anymore.

Now dear, this is a situation you have to manage well to be able to keep your home. It's obvious you had little time to check compatibility. You have to endure pending the time you see a therapist but before then, give him everything he wants, I mean EVERYTHING. He wants respect, he gets it, He does not want to be touched, so be it. I'm sure he's not making some unreasonable demands of you otherwise you'd have told us.

The only little 'ish' I see here is your hubby not confiding in you. You should work more on earning his trust. Really it's a slap that he prefers his mum or sis to you. Don't fret over it just talk with him more, have little or no arguments, act the fool at times. I hate divorces. Then except in absolute helpless situations, don't discuss your marital issues with outsiders, your mum and his mum are classified outsiders, how much less others.

The marriage is still young, I know you'll come around. You forgot to tell us whether you work or not. I want to tell you to ensure you get another life outside marriage. Let your mind be occupied with stuff. You said he is a financial pillar for you but my dear, get busy too. If I were married to a Dangote I'll still be my workaholic self. That way you'll have less time to worry about trivial things. If you don't work presently just engage in some activities that will make you happy. I wish your marriage the best.

Yes I work. I run a creche. As for keeping 3rd parties off I do that as much as possible. But he always discussed me with his mum and sister. And when I ask why cause I feel it's not a safe idea. He says he wants them to pray for me, but it's unconciously keeping this people day from me. Am sure they would pray but don't forget am an inlaw. They would always look at me with the mistakes my hubby reports to them.

freshRaymond:
Well, am gona ask few questns, didnt you guys date befor gettin married? Was he lyk dis then? Do you have kids and how many? What do you do? Or are yu a house wife? Am a married man,i guess i can dish out alil advice

@freshraymond. Thank you. We dated for only two months. But we knew we liked eachother. The mistake we made was we had no clue it doesn't and by liking. Okay now we both now actually realise we don't understand each other AT ALL. When we argue he reminds me that it was his mum who begged him to stay cause I was pregnant for him but planned pregnancy we both planned it. When we argue he also reminds me of how he wished he never settled down with me. When he is angry like this am his greatest night mare. Sometimes I just want to run away as in far away from him. He HATES me sooo much when he is angry. What keeps me going is he is really nice. He is a very nice guy and that's my encouragement he gives me everything I ask for, interms of finances, and then our sexual life is perfect. BUT the understanding each other aspect is not working. I don't know what else to do

I have being married for 5years and sadly I still dont feel so close to my husband. I got the bible says when two come together they become one. That is that become friends, right? But sadly it doesn't feel like it. My hubby is the kind that likes FULL time respect; greet me when you wake up in the morning, great me when I come back from work, (yes wives please greet your hubbys oo) am heading somewhere with this please dont judge me yet, don't go out without telling me, don't put your hands in my pocket, what are you looking for, don't talk .

While am talking (that is even understandable tho) many more I can't mention. Don't tap me on my shoulders if you want to talk to me, don't, don't, don't.

He also isn't romantic, he hates me been romantic around him, it gets him upset. Its been 4years plus and we still argue ALOT. I thought they said the first 3years is the time of misunderstandings but its 4years now and still nothing has really changed.

Sometimes i try to make him talk maybe am not doing something right, and he just always seems to find a fault. Either I don't have respect or I don't have respect or I don't obey him everything calls to respect. Well it's not like I don't respect him or I just wake up in the morning and start disrespecting him. No, it's always in the cause of an argument so while am trying to justify myself or win the case, the disrespect sorts of crops it's way in, but fews hours later you will see me back all over him, trying to make peace but by then I have lost all my worth. He is way closer to his mum and sister than even to me. He prefers to Share all his secrets with them than with me.

Last two weeks was like the saddest day of my life in this marriage journey. He bought a car for his mum, he didn't tell me, the car slept in the house over night I didn't know, on my way back from my outing I saw my hubby in a new car driving down with his mum, In amazement I came down to ask whose car it was and how come I was kept in the dark, then his mum said "it's my car didn't you know?" I felt like a stranger all over again. I called his mum on the phone few mins after I left the embarrasing scene to ask why her son didn't share the good news to me knowing fully well i'm not against him buying her a car. And she said my husband said i didn't greet my hubby the night before and also that morning. Yes I remeber not greeting him the night before cause we had little issue and i just thought to do small shakara, then my not greeting him that morning wasn't intentional, I even apologised immediately my husband cautioned me and I thought we were fine. But I guess we weren't. This is where friendship comes in marriage. No matter what your partner does( as long as it's not adultery or some other serious things I know some women can do.) I feel you should still be able to still give her the respect due. Abi I really wish out vind could grow stronger, it's bin 4years and my hubby doenst know my dress size, or shoe size or favorite artist or favourite food, my choice of music, my choice of anything, he hardly laughs at my joke, I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, It's plenty ooo. I thought marriage was more you both becoming friends. Don't you think life is too short to be rigid ALL the time. My husband is very rigid it scares me alot if I would be able to go on for long.. I love him very much than anything in the world but he doesn't feel that way or that much for me. Not like he doesn't love me. But I think I love him more. So we are probably not on the same page. i want to be the one he can run to anyday anytime, share his secrets with, want to be the one that has the power to put the best smile on his face, but each time i try, i fail. WHY?? Is there still hope.

Anyone in the house who has testimonies of marriage getting better after 4years. Cause i feel if you fail the first 3years you may never get it right. Mhen ladies you got to get it RIGHT from the beginning to avoid stories..

fubbyy: i've known many girls for dating marreied men and i used to think they do that just because of the money till a female friend of mine now dating a married man that i know well,i was actually the one that connected the runs(GOD forgive me )the guy works for my dad and he saw the girl with me,he asked if she's my gf i told him she's just a friend,he asked me to connect him which i agreed

i taught the girl would runaway if i told her he's married which he pleaded i should not let her know but i did,to my greatest surprise this girls became intereseted hearing he's married

they are now kicking it,chick sneaks in whenever the wife is not around,when the wife is around they have it else where even at the office,

i know this guy's financial status ,i know he has nothing to offer financially,after the one they had yesterday,i confronted the guy that he should quit because he has a wife and a kid to take care of,he said he has never spent a kobo on the chick infact the girl bought him the shirt he was wearing at the moment,i was surprised

this morning the chick came to collect my charger and i jokinly brought up the matter about she and the guy and she opened up to me why most girls date married men

she said most girls including her use money as an excuse to fuckkk married men when they know they are lying,she said girls date married men because they are married,because they are not available,she said with the knowledge that the man is married makes it more fun,a stolen meat is sweeter than your righful meat she said,she said nothing special about the guy except that he's married,she said she wouldn't have agreed to the guy if he is single
the chick talk plenty things about how girls are praying for married men to come

to all the married men and girls that date married men,is she saying the truth? are you girls doing it for fun or what?

She should get ready to share her husband with ALOT of b****hes like her. What goes around comes around, am am hater for girls like this. God keep our husbands from jezebels like this, cos once these men fall victim it takes hot prayers to save them..

Okay so my brother in law apparently lives wiv us in our one bedroom apartment, tho he gives us a day off, like he comes on monday leaves on tuesday comes on thursday and it bin like that for God knows how long. Its bin a year have bin married to my husband and we havent spent one whole week together without interferance. My husband is the kind of guy that never ever gets bothered about anything. He would do anything to make anybody happy. Even if it has to be at my expense. Sometimes i would av made breakfast for my husband and i, then BIL comes in, my husband will say ask him what he wants to eat, that means go and make another food for him. Kilode!, i mean he is his elder brother, he should av a girlfriend by now taking care of him, and if not he should eat from whereever he is coming from, they should pity me, i dont have a maid, i cant get one cos am leaving d country soon( for this reason am glad am going sef) so d whole chores is on me. I will take care of one yr old daughter, husband, and BIL. Lawd help me!!!!
Here is my problem. Fine, his younger brother's house is his comfort zone, everytime he comes around i feel bitter that my husband isnt thinking what am thinking that sometimes young couples need their space, and then he says make him breakfast, calls me in the afternoon, asking if his brother has had lunch, then dinner also must be in place. Everyweek of my life. If its once in a month or even once in 2 weeks. I can even still form not bothered, but four times in a week? In a one room,one bathroom and toilet flat. (Overbearing for me). My brother in law is actually a good guy, and cab be really nice to my husband. But i just feel he should understand and give us more space, i dont know if am sounding selfish now, but i believe dats another reason for my posting here....... He has another brother oo who lives in a 3 bedroom flat, but he will rather squeeze with us. Its affecting my relationship with my husband cos he feels bad wen he sees am not excited about cooking for his brother though he cares less about d way i feel about his brother bin so much in out space. I AM TAYAD!!!!!!!!!

mayorall: Nice one Op.

Wink wink

SisterCaro:
1. Give her money
2. Take her shopping
3. Go to the gym and get 6packs
4. Buy himself bleach cream so he doesn't look like gorilla
5. Take her to dubai or portuguese islands
6. Buy her the lastest phone
7. Buy her a car and a house
8. Only offer sex when she is in the mood
9. Pay a surrogate mother to give birth to your children, so she doesn't get fat
10. Always compliment her and tell her you love her

Lmao. I like.

Tabelachizza: 10"MAYBE TIPS"to "HELP"UR woman from infidelity nko?

Am sorry but i dont expect any responsible married woman to think it talkless of caught cheating

I call it help cos we are their helpmeet, and trust me sometimes all they need is that help.
Some people believe that when you check a man's phone you are giving yourself high blood pressure, well that might be true, some people believe you should leave them cos it runs in their DNA, that might be true too. Let me tell u a short story, my aunty's marriages just crashed after 10years, she lost him to the woman that runs the boutique where her husband buys her clothes from. Why? She left him alone, she didnt help him when he probably needed it. she never asked questions even when she smells a rat. She belived in let him have peace, due to that she lost him easily. Now that man has packed out of hishouse and gone to his mistress who is now carrying his child.
Dear women, we dont have to fold our arms in the name of u dont want to have high blood pressure.. At the same time u dont av to choke them, or follow them everywhere, or ask them where they r, u can ask though, but obviously we dont always have to, u can call him and just say " i love you baby" or something nice nd romantic. Just trying to remind him u r at home nd u miss him.
Here r some tips we might wanna work with:
1) pray for him at alll times, anywhere u find urself mk sure u r praying for him. Silently or loudly.
2) please dont leave their phones ooo, dats one of the utmost places d secret u need to counter is. Note that u dont av to be a pest on him or on the phone, u could check once in 6months. If u observe anything ask him questions really gently. "The gently part is kinda hard for me though" or ask him after making out, he will answer u, if u dont feel comfy with this female friend tell him, infact suggest u do the chasing. Lol, but its easier you do the chasing either by a simple harmless call to her or text message begging her to please leave ur man, cod this wayward gurls out there r ready to destroy any good thing, they actually dont care about u or your happy home, so you have to beg them.mk sure ur hubby reads it b4 u send it, cos she might respond by insulting you or not, and u need ur husby's backing on that.
Am a leaving testimony to that, though i made a mistake by not showing him d msg b4 sending it and he really didnt believe the message i sent was trully harmless due to the response i got from the b***h So show the message to him befor you send or make sure hez dere during ur convo with her.
3) show him some good good love, remind him of how much you love him every minute, through messages or calls, even while he is doing the major in the toilet. Lol. Tell him u love him.
4) when or if u find anything on his phone, dont conclude he is guilty just yet, many times this girls are the problems, talking about the response i got from the lady: fine my husband did flirt with her, but he probably didnt want more, but the girl did and wouldnt care if he is married or not, cos she fell inlove with his personality and charisma, at that point she will willingly break a happy home. Also be careful of your choice of words cos anything u say might be held against you.
5) there is always something a man loves other than making out, either pedicures, or cleaning their ears, or playing with their hair, or face or his nails, there is always smtin else, once a while offer to do it for them. No one is forcing you to do it, but if u want him to stay then do it. If mistresses r willining to do anything to steal, then wives should be willing to do anything to keep.
6) pray again and again for him to be the man you want, love God more than anything else, am sure it wont make u happy to see your husband not make heaven. love you through fat or thin, ugly or beautiful. Love his home.
7) make sure ur husband invest in you, and your children. It always reminds them to behave.
Do devosions together, get a devotional guide to put you through the day. Lay ur hands on him and prophesy into his life, let him do same for you everymorning.
9) Be his LovePeddler* in bed . They love it.
10) pray for yourself to be what he wants you to be and your fellow women out there, many of them might just need ur prayers too.
I adopted this rules for my marriage and so far its bin working, am not saying it should necessarily work for you, but we could all try.
We dont always av to stick to the old school rules all the time, many times our men needs us to call them back to order, many times they dont even know what they r getting into, if you love him then help him . # okbye

bellong: Buy baby tooth brush and paste..

Wat are the names of this paste please

My 9months old has 4 teeth and two more is growing out now, i still use glycerine for her teeth but i dont feel its doing a good job anymore. Any ideas on what i should be using for her teeth by now

steph7: I don't understand oh, the men in question are they handicapped that they can't clean their own ears or cut their own nails ? If I can clean and cut my nails and ears myself, why can't a man do it himself.

He likes it than sex sef. Once i do all that even if i starve him i actually just realised he is good to go.

Please if u r one of my haters u dont av to say anything. I actually dont av time to change profiles. Dear married women. If there is something really 'special' u do for ur hubbys like cleaning their ears, cutting their nails, or doing their manicure nd pericure. On certain days wen u r really tired nd sleepy, is it okay to say to him You are tired, if Oga at the top askes for one of the 'specials' or we should still go out of our way to do the 'specials' for them no matter how tired we are. I pray this is clear enough.

yellowpawpaw: I ve bn reading all d posts with keen interest.very good and matured contributions.
Well,I don't hv MIL but FIL that behaves like MIL and he is verrrry stubborn but I lv him die! Does he disturb a lot,yes.u don't tell him when to call,and heaven help u if he calls and u don't pick.and u MUST call him everyday 2!its an order and I obey,simple.
He can spend hrs on phone with u and u will be prayin for bad network.it wasn't easy at first for me cos I don't hv a dad but pple r so envious of us naw.he put me on salary when I gave birth cos I stopd work then due to relocation and childbirth.how did I do dat,told him that I want to resume work immediately after birth(na lie).and I can't call him again cos I don't hv money.(Another lie)
Mrs,u can turn any situation to ur adv if and only if u want to!
I can buy him anything I want to,spoiled him when he visited and ready to forfeit somethings for him!
Without that man,no hubby,as I'm very happy with d son,why can't I extend it to my FIL? Even if he is bad.
Pple r prayin for a good mil and some pple don't just like it,they call it meddling! Nawaa o!
How I wish mine is alive,she can meddle for all I care!
U pple can now close d thread,at least I don say my mind!

I picked smtin from ur post,"it wasn't easy at first" everything is a matter of time, am only 6months old in dis marriage, and I as well didn't grow up in a home that loves soo much, am I just gonna change over night,so I wonder why NL landers av decide to crucify me,just becos I said my mind, sm pple even said I should change my user name, dis is one thing I don't like about NL and has to change,people calling u all sorts over what's nt called for, I will always remain my user name if u people like keep critcizing....

Please kindly help me close d post my mother inlaw is sooooooooooo into our lives. Thank you

jennykadry: Oh, the joy of having a good MIL.

Let me just say this to the OP, SAY NO TO THE DEVIL USING YOU. You cannot directly or indirectly give a man an ultimatum to chose between you and his mother, you will be at the losing end.

If you really sent that SMS to your husband re getting his mum a shop, you must be one hell of a wicked woman. Even I felt so bad on behalf that woman after I read that, the hell you make her go through. Even after a SIL gave you a good advise about your MIL, you have still sworn to number your days in that house.......yes I said it, your days are numbered if you don't buckle up and be a good DIL to that woman.

Na wa ooo. U av taken d issue more personal than my husband sef. Issue dat we av even resolved and moved on to d next one. Lmfao

biolabee:

she is a she

No wonder!!!

[quote author=byvan]


You are a leech to your own life already,i ll rather leech on a juicer fellow than a woman struck with chronic anaemia [/qul
Lmfao. I soo pity ur wife,u r such a sisi

[quote author=byvan][/quote]@ byyyyyyvan!!!!!!, stop bin a leach and get off my case

NL we want this thread closed. Thank you!

byvan: U


Mrs complainant go and take care of your dysfunctional marriage and stop lashing out like a rabid dog.

You know u don't always av to respond. You should learn to implore d silent treatment.

After all said and done, I have heard all. Thank you all for your contributions, and advivces, I don't despise my mil, I don't, am just gonna learn to tolerate. God bless us all

mouthcuffed: I am the husband, and I will clear the air. My wife did send me an SMS yesterday stating she wanted to rub minds with me regarding my mum, and she also stated that she does not intend erupting another fight over my mum, that something bothers her and if its ok for her to share and ok by me, she'll go ahead, I responded telling her she should make sure what she wants to talk about is well refined and thought of well before she puts it through, because if its similar to the last time she put my mother on a lower level then I wont be happy. I guess she had to come here to spit it out since I didnt receive a response to my SMS.

Posters, many threads on Nairaland here at times arent backed with solid facts and story lines that will enable posters give accurate and most suitable advise needed, reason being 'for example' (my wife) if you follow her post well, you'll see she only responds to people that shares her views, simply because thats what she wants to hear, and believing that her inaccurate post must give her the best most reasonable response/advise she selfishly wants to see here.

The story goes like this, I am the last born of 4 children, 31 years of age, I am arguably the favourite of my mother, and please believe me when I say not because am the last born, but because out of the 4 of us, I am the only person that truly cares about my mother's wellbeing, financially, emotionally etc etc, the other's really do not care and its obvious, and my wife also know about this, shes here you guys can ask her.

I have a mother that is close to 70 years of age, but by her looks and activities you'll never notice, a mother that has not yet tasted the real care of her children, yet I am the only one filling this gap, a woman that was never married, but had 4 kids for two polygamists, a woman you'll surely know has never felt the juiciness of marital union, in other words, I became her husband, one who she looks up to in times of need, care and sought after in times of danger. Please pardon my expression, I am only trying to let you all know the situation, and with all said, its not like she is totally subjected to me of such that some people might be thinking, its just people that can look deeper into the eyes of their mind would understand what am trying to say.

Nairalander's I swear to God almighty that created heaven and earth, that if you guys truly see how things are going, you all including those supporting her post would declare that she should be laid on the floor and call on the IYA ALAGA (MC)of the engagement day to come and give her a whopping 12 strokes of the bulala for expressing frustration where it isnt existing and needed, this my wife should be happy she has a composed,humble and simple MIL, when it comes to me going against my mum if she does something mildly wrong, I am not seen as mummy's boy, but if it comes to expressing her frustration over nothing, I am seen as mummy's boy, this is just plainly ridiculous to my sensible understanding.

Another thing you guys need to understand, if it is to be taken that my mother is still into me, in which even if it is, its not to an exaggerated level, my wife and I got married just after two months of courting, simply because (you guys should know) ilove my wife n we actually had plans to get married a year and the half after, but due to circumstances beyond our control, we just had to do it sharply. My mother has only met my wife once before marriage plans began, and it will make it a year next month that we got married, and out of that 1 year, she had spent 6 months in the USA, so its more like we have only spent a solid 6 months together,and she expects my mother to vanish all of a sudden like that? Someone that never dreamt of me getting married last year when she knew I was planning to go for my professional course abroad, this my wife sef, I just tire for your matter, the kind woman wey fit you na Alhaja Barracks, woman we go give you fire wey your own water nor go fit quench, now my mama wey just dey calm wey nor give u wahala na hin you dey always like complain about over every little thing. This issue she's even complaining about is really disgusting, please nairalanders ask her that in the past 3 months, how many times has mumsy called in the middle of the night for me to read psalm 23, which is the only thing she ask me to read whenever she calls in the midnight, this woman has only called twice in this past 3 months to read that bible passage, infact it was my phone that she called, but simply because i was deep in sleep, i couldn’t pick, so i guess she was forced to call my wife and ask her to tell me what she intend saying.

From the day 1 of her threads on Nairaland regarding my mother, if you guys would run a poll as regards comments that were against her thread, and those that supported it, you all will see she has been expressing frustration that needs not be expressed @@@@@@@@@@@@allllllllll.

PS: And it isnt everyday that she calls 3 times, even if she does, she would call to ask how am doing, my wife and our daughter, and if y any chance she calls the second time, its probably to ask or tell me something, not related with my marriage,besides my mother knows how to manager her airtime, if she talks on the phone for the longest period of time, then she uses 3minutes, now wifey what are you jealous of?

Am sure you all av met my hubby. Now dis is d convlusion of the matter, i didnt post ere to spread my sheet in d sun, i came to learn and seek solace as i av always done. From my hubby's post u all can see dat i didnt over exagerrate, he loves his mother than anytin else in d world, which is meant to be, but if you read again u connote that it is to the extreme. My mil treats him like her husband nd behaves like his wife, no big deal, but NL do u really think its gonna easy to cope just like that, we just got married, i need more time to understand his mum is his first wife, and it might take years,my hubby said out of d four kids he is d only one close to his mum, emotionally, financially and so on. Is dere any child who wont love the mother, his sibblings all love and care for her its just not to d extreme like my husband, they r realist they dint just tolerate or condone everything. Note that my mil is loving nd wonderful, nd shez bin good to me,nd am good to her in my own way, and she knows, once shez around me i shower all d love i av in my cabbana. I give her ANYTHING she ask of me, i play my role to her as a dil very well, nd i love her like d mother i no longer have, dis issue is btw my hubby nd i,she treating her son like her husband nd likewise isnt what any wife wishes for. He is doing things that is affecting me, he is causing d rivalry btw us just becos he has refused to stand his ground as a man, even though we married 2 days after courtship, it automatically means u av left your mum and clinged to your wife, u dont need yeara to fux that, once i leave for d U.S, mother moves in with him again!! You av to force urself to do without mummy, eventhough i know its hard due to d bondness and fondness, that way u can even know nd feel my usefulness nd absence,but no, my mil actually has d right to do whatever she pleases with her son, he is her last, her favourite nd his MOTHER, but its d son that should control it for her cos left to her shez doing nothing wrong, From all of your post i hav come to a conclusion that all i need to do is go on my kneels more and pray for the grace to tolerate what i can and would never be able to change. Thank you all for the post , advices and adminition. NL can be impactful sometimes. Peace.

judii: @ Mouthcuffed, everything u said is a big deal. I can see ur wife is in 4 serious trouble as u are not even ready 2change anything ur doing. A husband is different from a son. Pls get that! U can never be ur mum's husband, period! What happened 2 calling u during the day 2give u bible passages? If ur wife's mum or dad was calling her very frequetly in d middle of d night, how would u feel? How selfish can people get these days self!

Well said

mouthcuffed: you guys are still getting it wrong, what am saying is, it looks like though am my mother'shusband, but not to an exaggerated level of playing a role of an husband persay, or did u guys hear my wife saying I play a role which is meant for her to my mother? Is anything wrong in her calling his son or asking me to read a bible passage in the middle of the night? Is that something of too much a big deal?

My love it is close to exaggerated, dats d truth uvr are son not her husband; only you out of thevfour of u refuses to understand dis, not dat others dont care but they limit it. Noe dis morning she called him to bring her clothes, what if u were working, what if u had other plans for the day, what if we dont stay close wouldnt she av taken her clothes from the house to where she was going. Dats my point!!!! It IS TOO MUCH FoR UR WIfE to bear.

byvan: Geez!!!!are toddlers getting married these days? ,couples trashing there undies in full glare of the public is fast becoming a trend,can you guys post pics as well

@ mr poster i havent seen anytin wring with us saying our minds ere. If u dont av anytin tonsay shut up

dayokanu:

Couples that beat them selves and divorce too were standing in front of everyone on one day showing Public display of affection and promising to High heavens to love themselves for ever.

The fact is things change.

Its not even about d change? Nothing changed, but as a wife i love my space , i need it and i want it. Shez a loving mother in law but too into her son. It makes me jealous kind of.

[quote author=nikkykay]
Dis playing any act of competition is like acting like a rival.
Just pray silently in the corner to God to bring him to his senses.
God has joined you to him and not to his mother so tell God to be ur mil's husband if she doesnt have her own husband.
She shld just leave you to let u enjoy ur husband. Whatever u dont want in ur marriage and it is beyond ur power, my dear take it to Him in prayers. He is willing to hear
I am not against her praying for her son, call him to say some prayers but when it turning out to be odd hours, it is a no-no.
Whatever she sees in d middle of the night concerning her son can wait till d morning.The reason why God made her his mother is 2b his guardian angel so she can pray as at the time she has anything and call her son's attention to it later.
Please be calm. God will help you
[/quote\
Thank you ma

nikkykay: @ poster

Do u think you will be welcome in dat circle?
To me you dnt have to compete with them, just let them just be please cos there is nothing you will say dat will yield result since your man has refused to get out of his pampers like vanitty said.
Dnt try to come in between them but let him know u jealous.
I have a sister in ur shoes but d guy isnt last son. Her case is different cos she dey show her mil pepper.
The guy doesnt have any choice but to travel whenever mummy calls him to travel down to another State.
He got to a stage dat he began to lie to his wife abt his trips cos he didnt know how to present it to his wife again dat Mummy has called me to come again. Her mil doesnt want to see her so she cant travel with him.
Thats y i asked if u wil be welcome in dir circle.
All i can say is keep praying dat God shld bring him back to you.
The bible says so shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife to become one with her so pray against every soul tie btw d 2 of them.
AM sure she doesnt know wot u r going thru emotionally so wot u need is prayer and not competition.
Wish u d best

thank you, leave his father and mother, so the sol tie should be prayed against. All should join me in prayers.I don't wish to rival with my mother in law, shez his mum,not his wife

chaircover: Hmmmmmmmmm this one can only be dealt with with wisdom. Why? because its 2 sided. ie MIL and husband are both in it. If it was just the MIL, then its easy to say that the husband and wife should both fight against it together, but since he is not on her side and sees nothing wrong with what his mum is doing and when she tried it before, it backfired, then she has to try something else.

If I were in her shoes, I will join their crowd. I wont be found on the outside. I will be in the inner caucus. Mama has one son, but she will have to make me her daughter by force. She will then have to treat you both as her children and not just her son. You have to be on reasonable terms with her, to be able to make it clear to her, that you and your husband are now one. If you try and do it with force and it will backfire and you may still not get the preferred result.

. . .the truth of the matter is that until mama dies which by the Grace of God will be in a very very long time, mama is here to stay. You can fight it or find ways to deal with it. entirely up to you, but as you dont have your husbands listening ear, you are going to have to be wise in dealing with this issue, thats assuming you love your husband and want to remain married to the man.

BTW I dont think its about last borns. I am married to a lastborn. This kind of thing is mostly seen with single mothers who over the years turn their sons into the husbands that they dont have. A friend of mine is brewing similar and I have told her enough times to let the boy be and I pray that she heeds this advise before its too late.

U see what am saying, those is my shoes can never find it easy, ask ur frnd, d advice is sweet to give, but if u were in those shoes u will know how it truly feels. I pray it doesn't take me years to learn how to live with this.

Babz temmy: I feel my mother in law is soooooooooooooo into our lives nd i cant do anything about it, nd i dare nt discuss it with my hubby cos d last time i even mistakenly tried it i knew wat i went tru. Am ere to seek solace not even to receive advice cos at dis point i know advice wont change a thing. Am sad, am worried nd burnt in my spirit, My Mother in law wont leave her son to be nd her son wont leave her either, she cant do without him, he is her LASTBORN of four and d way she treats him, she obviously doesnt treat others like that. She calls him almost everyday just to hear his voice, i am typing dis at 3am cos i cant go back to sleep, her call woke me up,she few times calls at night(please i said few times) to ask him to read bible pAssages 3times, now i dnt even think its becos of d prayer. I think she just wants to hear his voice. She wants to know what he's doing. Where he is going.and so on. My people getting married to last borns now i see y sm of my friends dntgo dere. One of my aunty's once said if u marry a last born u marry d mama too. Dis is very true. I need prayers, i need solace, i need more of strength from above to handle this. As his second wife cos i know his mum is surely his first( i even dare not contest that). I need prayers to be able to share my hubby with his mum. Its not EASY. Anyways i av decided to go to d bathroom at dis unGodly hour nd get ready for work since i cant go back to sleep. Great day ahead u all. And for those in my shoes as well handling this well, make una give me tips abeg. Cos i desire to handle it well too.
I know a lot of people r ready to crucify me on dis ish, but note that am not saying he shouldnt love her, i am priviledged to av a dad, no mum. I cant rem d last time i spoke with him, and am his favourite, hurt me and dats wen u would see d love of a father, but he isnt into my life, he left me to see nd experience marriage without his interference, fine am a woman, but rem also d bible says " a MAN would leave his father and the mother and cleave to his wife".

I av heard what you all said and I must confess you all have spoken well, but obviously no one is in my shoes, no one knows its actually sweeter to read, easier to say, but acting it na serious work, watching ur mother inlaw treating your husband like her husband is highly irritating. Show ur son love, but appropraite it,which one is calling ur son 3times a day, its obsession,and d funniest thing is she doesn't treat d others like that, except my husband. D others don't take all this, you know d solution, one shouldn't just end up with mums dat her into their sons,its a very difficult life to pass tru, butam in it, I would live with it and kip praying for grace