₦airaland Forum

louistearer:
I am a vivid fan of nairaland and will want your help. I'm a man in my early thirties married with two kids. Now the Genesis of my issue was when I was cheated on my wife, before the birth of my first child. I apologized and thought it were cool but she has never failed to remind of it whenever we gat issues. She disrespects me now and even invite her male best friend over to our matrimonial home. And when I told her to stop inviting the man over she refused and threatened me that I wouldn't do anything that she will invite him. She went on and on telling me that our marriage was a marriage of pretence and it will continue that way because of the kids. If not for the kids she wld hv left me. She has no respect, trust for me. She told me so many things hurtful things. Guys is it right to leave the ouse for her and move out or infact am lost.... Please what can I do

i am sure u people aren’t in Nigeria right?

If u happen to b in Nigeria n all these is happening then u dey craze

Just wait for when she will kill u, u people turn to sissy all in d name of forming woke n gentleman

She don see say na better mumu u b na y, so if u come give girl belle she self go marry another man for inside your house?


Your wife dey invite man enter ur house n u still dey form gentleman

As in, who raised all these mumu men self

taylor89:
When I hear people say one Nigeria I go just laugh

Imagine say Nnamdi Kanu from other tribe

They for don release am

What’s his offense sef?

Let us have our country we’re tired of this shit.hole

One day ehnn that freedom will come to pass

u want to have your own country n u still voted 99% in d last election

I can bet anything that even u voted

Had it been u boycott d election it would have made sense but u voted n lost then u want to scatter everything

If to say obi win will u say u still want to go?


Your mumu too much

MXrep:
Everything is in court

then y bring it here?

HIGHESTPOPORI:
Manipulated irev results like in Rivers?

ok

Which result did obi have 25% in 30 states abeg?

HIGHESTPOPORI:
You are talking based on rigged results, we are talking based on real results at polling unit before they were manipulated.Obi got 25% in Ogun, Oyo,Ondo

ok sir

I guess only u have access to that irev result?

HIGHESTPOPORI:
From Inec results at the polling unit, Obi won 16 states and had 25% in 30 States including Abuja

I like to learn bro

I will really appreciate it if u can list d 30 states he got 25%

Note he didn’t get 25% in any south west states except lagos so 5 gone already, he didn’t get 25% in 8 northern states so tell me where he got 25% in 30 tate

proeast:
That's the difference between you Tinubu supporters and Obi supporters. You guys are mostly driven by tribalism and religious fanaticism unlike Obi supporters that are patriotic and objective.

Already, Obi has presented "tons" of evidence at the tribunal showing his votes were massively stolen across Nigeria. If you're a good and patriotic Nigerian, you will demand for justice and not your usual insults.

Let the court decide!

if truly u are waiting on d court’s decision y did u bring the topic here?

HIGHESTPOPORI:
It has been listed in court, can you list how tinubu lost Lagos,couldn't get 25% and still won the election by inec

u brought a topic here n we ask u question here n u are referring us to court

Y don’t u take this to court?

I know u yourself know u are lieing to yourself but the truth is that losing lagos doesn’t mean losing Nigeria

U can lose lagos n win Nigeria, the criteria for winning is that u must have 25% in 24 states n have majority vote

So how will obi win?

HIGHESTPOPORI:
3rd with rigged results? First with real results

please can u list 24 states obi got 25%?

Rayban25:
The joint cookers and dammy did not follow due process in applying for the record before wasting their time..it takes a while before guiness approves your application...how many times will we tell you this?

I've said it before and I'll say it again..you APC supporters are not intelligent not only in politics but in other spheres of life.

how did the flier portray that they didn’t follow due process or u just took that outta nowhere?

BadMaster:
This is where you are going to see the hypocrisy of those who lambasted Dammy for trying to beat the record set by Hilda.

God bless u

I am waiting for their comment

Rayban25 what do u have to say



Baatunde please come n see the hypocrisy of the igbos, just observe that the same accounts that insulted dammy will praise this ones

coopers500:
Ok guys I am currently in a 3 years relationship with my gf whom I plan to settle down with after my masters here in the UK. I came in here December last year. My matter is brief but very deep, and I need people that are inept with deeper understanding of how my ordeal cam be interpreted or maybe its just a mere myth or superstition. Over theadt 3 years, I have always put my gf on weekly stipends, and monthly money for normal shopping....I came back to Nigeria in January and spent just 1 week we were together all through and I moved her from the apartment she was living at to a new place. After my departure , 2months later I started experiencing financial issues, first off am into I.T but my own specifics is based of email marketing, b2b data sales, virtual machine sales etc.. which on a norm, weekly I make at least 1million naira or more, all of a sudden my b2b license was shut down due to unknown reasons, which is what actually fetch me major of my cash.licenee I renewed with over 15k dollars in November. Now I felt ok no problem, I will survive on the rest of what am selling, oh ma'am, 1week will go, 2weeks pass, just few customers will patronise me, now am struggling to pay bills as thr work am working here is for rent only, and I have pay pther bills in which while I was going through the whole ordeal I was still sending normal weekly to my gf and sending money to families at home. After sometimes when I have issues with herz maybe she disrespect me, and I nor send shi shi, that week I must see customer wey go patronise me with better money, at first I thought it was coincidence or just normal, until this same thing happened to me like 5 times. Anytime wey I nor send money, I must make better money that week, as I am typing this now, we had issues where she regarded me as nothing, that am below, a statement which doesn't not coincide with what we were arguing about. I decided not to send shi shi, omo today like this customer call me buy better, now I personally now came to the realisation that something is wrong somewhere, if she's the problem, what could it be? What could be the reason for the problem, in which while I was in nija, then I rarely have issues like this, infact things were rosey. I know some people will call me a simp, but as a man that loves my gf and have portrayed an enormous level of loyalty I have no issues taking care of her, she has a business of interior design, and it's whenever job comes that she makes money on her own. And she rarely sees jobs too unlike b4. I am confused.

u love someone who calls u nothing?
U must b high

I can bet u are dating our community girlfriend

Keep sending money to her, by d time u send money to her n u meet yourself in Nigeria applying for 50k job then u go get sense

By then she go don move on to d real boyfriend

qtguru:
I'm not too big on school, I take more value in entrepreneurial skills.

if she can’t do basic schooling while all her counterparts are doing it n can’t seize d opportunity of a good man to start business

U think she will have time for your course abi?

I wonder how people even introduce babe wey no go school give their parents self?
At least that should b d first entry point in life, graduate of any school be it monotechnic

qtguru:
Personally, if I love someone, I will always cater to the person's inadequacies, I believe no one is perfect, so while a career might not be her thing, there could be something for her, I would advise you, you tell her to at least attend some of this online seminars, we are currently having one coming soon.

it's called Upgrade 2.0 it talks about the potential in humans and how they can better themselves.

But the economy is harsh, so if you can't deal with that, it's within your rights.

Personally, I would be okay with someone like your babe.

u don’t even care to know why she didn’t graduate self?

Steady259:
Some comments in this discussion is fueled out of hatred and jealousy for which indicates that the OP is doing well in life and other unfortunate guys, instead of keeping mute when they have no tangible thing to contribute will rather wish the OP bad and dish out wrong advice.....

Bros OP, 3 indicators you need to look out for in a lady to have certainty of a peaceful home

Make sure she loves you more than you love her

She must be very submissive and loyal.

Virgin, good mannered, not temperamental, and educated..


Bro you can adjust and groom every other aspect to your taste and perfection if you have the virtue of a patient man.

u are obviously a kid

The best attitude of a woman is when she hasn’t gotten d ring, read many stories of married men in family section

Once she gets d ring n she gives birth to just 1 that’s all

No matter the complain u give about her people will always tell u to endure n b a man n that’s when they will b telling u super stories of people that have endured, u will get tired of complaining about her to d extent that u won’t want to complain again n that’s where resentment sets in

That’s when u see men avoid their wives n seek solace outside, see no matter your complain in marriage they will always tell u divorce is the last option

See the best thing is don’t enter at all, once u enter u don enter b dat oo

Even when they see say your strong head wan dey too much na to apply juju for the matter

Me I dey tell u real life matters

Oluromantic:
The change process is not in marriage, it's during dating

only if u know people pretend to get what they want

boborosky:
Firstly, I am a guy who is goal driven. I work my ass off to ensure that I earn a living and this has left me with hating anyone who is lazy.
I met my fiance about a year ago. We don't reside in the same town but we talk everyday. When we started dating, she had told me she was done with schooling but she had a few issues which have prevented her from graduating. According to her, she finished in 2019 but has not been cleared because of those issues.

In the first few months that we started dating, I asked her why she was idle since the school was yet to clear her. I further advised that she should start something rather than stay at home. She told me then that she would like to produce and sell a particular commodity. I asked her what it required for her to start. She told me and I provided those things and travelled all the way to see her and hand those items over to her. Few weeks after that, I asked how the business was doing - she went from one story to the other. I was pissed because I thought she could have put all those excuses into consideration before letting me go through the stress of providing those items - It is not about the money for it wasn't much, but her lukewarm interest in pursing goals. Truth is that she never started the trade.

I let that slide and we moved on... Each day I noticed she doesn't have the desire to pursue goals. I mean, how could she have stayed over 3years at home without learning any skill or being purposeful. When it was clear that she wasn't being purposeful, I told her crystal clear that I would not want to be with anyone who lacks purpose or isn't resourceful. In response, she told me that she would work harder and do something. But as each day passed, it was the same old story. Right now, she teaches at a school - this was after a lot of pushing, and forcing and begging and all of that. Even, of the teaching, she complains that it is stressful.

She visited my family house twice. The first time she visited, I had to literally tell her to help in the sweeping of the house the morning following the night she arrived, which she did - I mean, I expected her to know (without being told) that that was expected of her as a first-time visitor in the frame of a prospective wife/in-law. Even as a man, you don't stay inside the room when you visit a family especially when they are doing chores - that was how I was raised. Maybe it isn't a general expectation, but that was how I was raised (Don't crucify me).

As it stands now, she isn't cleared yet and each time I tell her to go to the school, she would either reply reluctantly or get upset. Moreso, she doesn't have a skill. The truth is that, though she is nice, a virgin apparently, she may end up depending on me 100%. Given the way Nigeria is, one needs a partner who can support one. Also, coupled with the fact that though she loves me 100%, she is not very exposed (a bit timid), and lacks the desire to be independent, hardworking or achieve her own goals.

We had discussed marriage, though I have not proposed yet. Conversely, right now, I am having a rethink which has caused me to be a bit withdrawn and retrogressive. I do not want a spouse who would drag me backwards, I have suffered a lot to get to where God placed me - I don't want a setback given that my family partly depends on me. From all indications, I don't know whether she will be able to handle and account for a business if one is established for her.

Even though the decision to either proceed with or withdraw from marriage is solely mine, I'd like a piece of advice.

For matured folks.... What do you think?

u have clearly seen the red flags from her attitude n u are still confused

Let me tell u d reality of life, no matter how rich u are as a man there will b a time in your life u will go low on cash( not necessarily broke) will she b able to pull u out of this shit with her attitude towards work?

With the way I am seeing it she won’t do anything especially when shes pregnant n that will tell a lot on u

I don talk my own

OloYeOfEgbE:
Hilda BACI na Igbo..

GETTOUT..YOU NO GET YANS

jonathan na Igbo?

Na so u igbos dey carry south south matter for head

Baatunde:


I got you sir, nevertheless I still very much hate to generalise even if others are doing it, although in some cases it is difficult not to......

when a huge percentage of them are doing it, how do u want us to rate them?

Like 9 out of 10 people are doing it

They are suffering from inferiority complex coupled with long term hate planted in them by their parents

Buddha3:
Go and give her the certificate on behalf of GWR!

Somebody who was putting off gas to go sleep through the night, charging fees for people to eat her roadside meals and even failed to officially register her attempt with GWR, is who you think is even going to be recognised by the body?

Some of you just never fail to brandish your moronic tendencies in public.

Baatunde

Another Igbo

See any bad comments or review here na Igbo

U can check their previous comments

Sirbruno3000:
Na their way... Yoruba people

Baatunde
Another igbo

CharleyBright:
Winch girl.
Anyone that is envying, coveting and planning to downplay my efforts, and says I will not enjoy the fruit of my labour, holy ghost fire!!!

This cooking record has been unchallenged and undefeated for years, But immediately Hilda Baci made attempt to break it, one winch girl pretending to be churchy is enviously coming to deprive Hilda of her labour.
Is there no other record to be broken?
Even God is not happy with such covetousness.
How about Nigerians focusing on breaking other records so that only Nigerians will be record holders in many spheres?
It is the record that her fellow Nigerian broke that hungry her to break.
Evil Ekiti girl.

May Guinness Book of Record not recognize Dammy, in Jesus name.

Baatunde

This one na Igbo ooo

Baatunde:
But even HIlda is not Ibo now..... I hate to generalise but if you have read the comments of some people it seems there is a perpetual hatred of Yorubas and anything to do with Yoruba and it is very difficult not to pick the ethnic coloration in this particular matter...habe on top record wey no carry money for head

I tire ooo

Same way igbos carry Jonathan matter for head till they made everyone their enemy n now Jonathan n south south have moved on

Check 99.9% of monikers here talking down on that girl n they are igbos

Check twitter n see those talking down on her, they are Igbo

If in doubt check their previous post

I don’t know what the igbos stand to gain